I sing with one of the praise team at our church. We had a Sunday off yesterday. I got to sit in the pew and participate in the worship led by our youth praise team. The group has led worship for youth events but it was their debut in front of the congregation. Thirteen teens were part of the experience yesterday. They had a great sound and were very well received by the worshippers. There was even applause when they finished their last song. The adults present seemed to appreciate the youthful enthusiasm. Many folks went forward and expressed both their support.
Our church has a comprehensive and dynamic youth ministry. We've invested millions in The Edge, our student ministry center, but facilities don't mean a thing unless you have the staff and volunteers to support it. We have been blessed with both. I am especially impressed with the number of adults who volunteer to be part of the ministry. They span the ages and include folks who serve as counselors, Teen CBS small group leaders, musicians who work with the youth praise team and countless others.
In my soon to be released book, Parenting Without Guilt: Avoiding the 7 Things Parents do to Screw-Up Their Kids, I identify not developing a support system as one of the mistakes parents make. Parents need to surround their teens with adults who share their value system and have the well-being of all teens, including their own, on their hearts. When it comes to our church's youth ministry, I especially appreciate the middle age adults, many with grown or college age children who are involved. Who better to mentor young people than those who have experienced life?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
You Know There are Lutheans in a Hotel When...
I spent three days last week at the Lutheran Education Association National Director of Christian Education Conference here in Dallas. That meant a lot of Lutherans in one hotel. I came away with some observation regarding Lutheran Culture and was motivated to develop the following: The Top Ten Ways You Know Lutherans Are Staying in a Hotel.
10. Beer truck idling in the parking lot.
9. "Wellkommen" on the hotel marquee.
8. Guest keep referring to the lobby as "the narthex."
7. Those LWML ladies at the concierge desks.
6. $4.99 potluck dinner in hotel restaurant.
5. Sighting of C. F. W. Walther look-a-like.
4. Tract Rack located next to registration counter.
3. Room numbers correspond to favorite hymns found in Lutheran Service Book.
2. Luther's Small Catechism found next to Gideon Bible in every room.
1. When you greet the hotel staff they respond, "And also with you."
10. Beer truck idling in the parking lot.
9. "Wellkommen" on the hotel marquee.
8. Guest keep referring to the lobby as "the narthex."
7. Those LWML ladies at the concierge desks.
6. $4.99 potluck dinner in hotel restaurant.
5. Sighting of C. F. W. Walther look-a-like.
4. Tract Rack located next to registration counter.
3. Room numbers correspond to favorite hymns found in Lutheran Service Book.
2. Luther's Small Catechism found next to Gideon Bible in every room.
1. When you greet the hotel staff they respond, "And also with you."
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Living Your Dreams Through Your Kids
I had to nod in agreement as I read the editorial, The Kids Aren't Alright, in this week's Sports Illustrated. The author is Mark Hyman who wrote the book Until It Hurts: America's Obsession With Youth Sports and How it Harms Our Kids. Hyman writes of a ten year old female tennis player who saw a doctor for an aching shoulder. The mother noted that her daughter was a rapidly climbing junior tennis player. "To reach the family's goals, she had two weeks to reach number 5." When the doctor diagnosed a stress fracture that would require six month of rest, the mother flew into a rage. The mother felt her child could be treated wtih therapy while she continued to play.
In my soon to be released book, Parenting Without Guilt: Avoiding the Seven Things Parents do to Screw-Up Their Kids, I identify living your dreams vicariously through your kids as one of the common mistakes parents make. It's one that I can identify with. Fortunately I learned my lesson. When our son, Peter, was a high school junior he was receiving feelers from colleges because of his skills as a basketball player. My head was in the clouds until he informed me he wasn't interested. He wanted to go to college to get an education, not play basketball.
Our daughter was into gymnastics at the time of the Olympic Dream Team. Shannon Miller was her idol. Katie was moving up through the levels when she was in eighth grade. Two night before the first meet of the season she sprained her ankle in practice. We were disappointed but listened to the doctor who said no gym for three months. That ended the season. She quit gymnastics after that and began to take her music more seriously. She ended up at TCU on a music scholarship. Funny how God works things out.
What parent doesn't want their kid to succeed? The problem comes when we push them too hard. Often that's because we see our dreams being fulfilled through them. Perhaps, they can accomplish thing we didn't. In my case I was barely a bench player in basketball. I learned the game by sitting next to the coach. Peter, on the other hand, had star potential. He was an All District Player his senior year. But by that time he had made his point. Basketball was recreation, something he did, and still does, to stay in shape.
When it comes to your kids and their extra-curricular activities you need to ask the question, who is this for? It should always be about them, their interests and their God-given talents.
In my soon to be released book, Parenting Without Guilt: Avoiding the Seven Things Parents do to Screw-Up Their Kids, I identify living your dreams vicariously through your kids as one of the common mistakes parents make. It's one that I can identify with. Fortunately I learned my lesson. When our son, Peter, was a high school junior he was receiving feelers from colleges because of his skills as a basketball player. My head was in the clouds until he informed me he wasn't interested. He wanted to go to college to get an education, not play basketball.
Our daughter was into gymnastics at the time of the Olympic Dream Team. Shannon Miller was her idol. Katie was moving up through the levels when she was in eighth grade. Two night before the first meet of the season she sprained her ankle in practice. We were disappointed but listened to the doctor who said no gym for three months. That ended the season. She quit gymnastics after that and began to take her music more seriously. She ended up at TCU on a music scholarship. Funny how God works things out.
What parent doesn't want their kid to succeed? The problem comes when we push them too hard. Often that's because we see our dreams being fulfilled through them. Perhaps, they can accomplish thing we didn't. In my case I was barely a bench player in basketball. I learned the game by sitting next to the coach. Peter, on the other hand, had star potential. He was an All District Player his senior year. But by that time he had made his point. Basketball was recreation, something he did, and still does, to stay in shape.
When it comes to your kids and their extra-curricular activities you need to ask the question, who is this for? It should always be about them, their interests and their God-given talents.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Let The Kids Explore
I got back this afternoon from a family outing to Houston. My sons, Peter and Mark, and grandson, Andrew and Caleb, attended the first two Chicago Cubs games of season. Great time and lots of male bonding. The only downer was the Cubs split the two game, losing the second in extra innings.
Yesterday we took our grandsons to the Children's Museum in Houston. Three adult and two kids sounded like pretty good odds. Somehow we lost track of Caleb at least three times. He is an extremely active and curious three year old. He also knows little fear; not a good combination when you are in a building filled with things for kids to explore. Maybe it's a guy thing but we never panicked. I guess we figured he would be safe, as long as he didn't leave the building.
It brought back memories of times with his dad. When Peter was a toddler I would take him to the shopping mall and let him explore. I always stayed at least ten steps behind and just let him wander. It was always interesting to see the reaction of adults when they saw this little boys walking all by himself, straying toward anything that looked interesting.
There is a real benefit in putting young children in an environment where they can explore and then turning them loose. I attribute some of Peter's independent nature and inherent curiosity on those early experiences. I see the same attribute in our other children, Mark and Katie as well. I would encourage you to seek out those placed where can play and explore on their own. A city park or playground might offer such opportunities, and most of those are free. Park your self on a bench and let them go, always under your watchful eye of course.
Yesterday we took our grandsons to the Children's Museum in Houston. Three adult and two kids sounded like pretty good odds. Somehow we lost track of Caleb at least three times. He is an extremely active and curious three year old. He also knows little fear; not a good combination when you are in a building filled with things for kids to explore. Maybe it's a guy thing but we never panicked. I guess we figured he would be safe, as long as he didn't leave the building.
It brought back memories of times with his dad. When Peter was a toddler I would take him to the shopping mall and let him explore. I always stayed at least ten steps behind and just let him wander. It was always interesting to see the reaction of adults when they saw this little boys walking all by himself, straying toward anything that looked interesting.
There is a real benefit in putting young children in an environment where they can explore and then turning them loose. I attribute some of Peter's independent nature and inherent curiosity on those early experiences. I see the same attribute in our other children, Mark and Katie as well. I would encourage you to seek out those placed where can play and explore on their own. A city park or playground might offer such opportunities, and most of those are free. Park your self on a bench and let them go, always under your watchful eye of course.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Book Update
When I retired from my position as school counselor at Lutheran High School of Dallas one of my goals was to publish a book on my experience working with teenagers and their parents. My desire was to share insights based on my observations. No parents wants to negatively affect the life of their child but all parents make mistakes along the way. Many of those mistakes are made out of ignorance. Over the years I had identified seven common mistakes. Those mistakes provided the basis for the project.
It's been a long road but the manuscript has finally been submitted. I made the decision early on to publish the book myself. I wanted control over the project. My desire was to confront the issues and in the process help parents do a better job. Self publishing allows me to do that, although it does mean shouldering the cost of producing the book myself.
Parenting Without Guilt: How to Avoid the Seven Things Parents do to Screw-Up Their Kids has now been submitted a publisher. I am working with Outskirt Press, a division of Amazon.com. They also partner with Barnes and Noble providing a retail presence.
While the publisher will be helping me market the book, I am relying on friends and former colleagues to spread the word as well. Folks who have read the manuscript tell me they found it insightful and practical. A companion Bible study can be used for small group or personal study.
A lot of folks have supported and encouaged me along the way but a special word of thanks goes to my editor Mindy Walz. Watch for more updates on the production process and anticipate the release of the book later this spring.
It's been a long road but the manuscript has finally been submitted. I made the decision early on to publish the book myself. I wanted control over the project. My desire was to confront the issues and in the process help parents do a better job. Self publishing allows me to do that, although it does mean shouldering the cost of producing the book myself.
Parenting Without Guilt: How to Avoid the Seven Things Parents do to Screw-Up Their Kids has now been submitted a publisher. I am working with Outskirt Press, a division of Amazon.com. They also partner with Barnes and Noble providing a retail presence.
While the publisher will be helping me market the book, I am relying on friends and former colleagues to spread the word as well. Folks who have read the manuscript tell me they found it insightful and practical. A companion Bible study can be used for small group or personal study.
A lot of folks have supported and encouaged me along the way but a special word of thanks goes to my editor Mindy Walz. Watch for more updates on the production process and anticipate the release of the book later this spring.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)