Like most Christian churches, we celebrated Palm Sunday yesterday. I found the worship especially inspiring. Part of that was the fact that the pews were full but the music was also really inspiring.
One of the most meaningful parts of the day happened after the worship services. The 5th and 6th grade youth group hosted a Journey to the Cross experience. Participants took a prayer walk, visiting ten stations, following Christ from the Upper Room to the Cross and then reflecting on His Easter Victory. While the experience was inspiring, what impressed me the most was the leadership of the kids. While I am sure the adult leaders planned the event and supervised the set up, the kids were the up-front leaders. From registration to tour guides, the kids were running the event. They not only directed the families through the experience but made sure that a reverant atmosphere was maintained. They were especially sensitive to the need for privacy and personal time. It was obvious they had a respect for and appreciation of what Christ had done for them.
I reflected back on my own up-bringing. Attendance at Lenten services was a requirement in our family. I was one of the few children in attendance, usually sitting with my grandmother while my parents were up-front with the choir. I remember the solemnness; the darkened sanctuary, the pastor in a black cassock instead of a white robe and somber hymns.
It's important to pass on the tradition of Lent to our children. A proper observance of Lent prepares us for the joyful celebration of Easter. This is Holy Week. It's time to make sure our hearts and the hearts of our children are ready to celebrate the most significant day in all Christendom. If Christ had not been raised from the dead our faith would be in vain.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Substance Abuse and Second Chances
I am a baseball fan. I grew up in Detroit and maintain my allegiance to the Tigers but I also follow our local team, The Texas Rangers. Like the rest of the sports world I was stunned by the news that Rangers' manager, Ron Washington, had admitted to the use of cocaine during last baseball season. Ilike Ron. He's a players manager and he's done a good job putting the team in a position where they can be successful.
While I was disturbed at Ron Washington's disclosure, I was even more troubled by the response of many in the local media. Most local sportscasters called for his resignation. "How could the Rangers put an individual who had exhibited such indescretions in a position of authority of a group of young men," many reasoned. They pointed to the presence of Josh Hamilton, a recovering addict himself, in the club house. Baseball mangers must be held of a high standard, they rationalized.
I encountered the issue of substance abuse numerous times as I worked with teenagers. This was especially the case during the eleven years I worked in a high school counseling office. I always felt blessed to be at a school that allowed students a second chance. While there were definite consequences, first offenders were encouraged to get help. We also monitored their behavior and classroom performance. The involvement of parents in the process was crucial. I also had an undestanding with the school administrators so that if I intervened prior to their involvement, there would be no consequences and no questions asked.
I recognize that fact that Ron Washington is not a teenager, he is in fact 57 years old. He is also in a position of authority, but I concur with Ranger management. Team President, Nolan Ryan, and General Manager, Jon Daniels, both stated they treated the manger the same way they would treat any employee. Their number one concern was for the individual and getting them the help they needed. Based on that, Ron Washington was allowed to continue in his job while getting the counseling he needed.
There is a lesson here for parents. Any at risk behavior must be taken seriously but we should be slow to judge and quick to offer help and support. Consequences yes. Condemnation no.
1) Confront the issue. 2) Get them help they need. 3) Monitor their future behavior.
While I was disturbed at Ron Washington's disclosure, I was even more troubled by the response of many in the local media. Most local sportscasters called for his resignation. "How could the Rangers put an individual who had exhibited such indescretions in a position of authority of a group of young men," many reasoned. They pointed to the presence of Josh Hamilton, a recovering addict himself, in the club house. Baseball mangers must be held of a high standard, they rationalized.
I encountered the issue of substance abuse numerous times as I worked with teenagers. This was especially the case during the eleven years I worked in a high school counseling office. I always felt blessed to be at a school that allowed students a second chance. While there were definite consequences, first offenders were encouraged to get help. We also monitored their behavior and classroom performance. The involvement of parents in the process was crucial. I also had an undestanding with the school administrators so that if I intervened prior to their involvement, there would be no consequences and no questions asked.
I recognize that fact that Ron Washington is not a teenager, he is in fact 57 years old. He is also in a position of authority, but I concur with Ranger management. Team President, Nolan Ryan, and General Manager, Jon Daniels, both stated they treated the manger the same way they would treat any employee. Their number one concern was for the individual and getting them the help they needed. Based on that, Ron Washington was allowed to continue in his job while getting the counseling he needed.
There is a lesson here for parents. Any at risk behavior must be taken seriously but we should be slow to judge and quick to offer help and support. Consequences yes. Condemnation no.
1) Confront the issue. 2) Get them help they need. 3) Monitor their future behavior.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Does the Plumber Need a College Degree?
As I thumbed through the newspaper this morning I was reminded that it's getting down to crunch time for many high school students. One article focused on the fact that college is not for everyone. Another pointed out the role that apprenticeships may play in helping those not headed to college.
Having spent eleven years in a high school counseling office I remember the stress that came with this time of year. Seniors were approaching decision time in terms of which school to attend and junior were developing their list of schools they needed to visit. Then their was the angst that came from parents whose seniors had decided college was not for them.
I was at a school where a high percentage of our graduates went on to college. When the parents of perspective students visited on campus they did not ask if our graduates went to college, rather they wanted to know what kinds of colleges and universities welcomed our students.
Even then it bothered me that some parents saw college as a panacea. If we can just get them that college degree they will have the ticket to a successful career and life.
Don't get me wrong. A college education has tremendous benefit. Barb and I have three college graduates. All three had a positive college experience. They have all used that education to pursue careers and have achieved a degree of success, but I would never have force any of them to go to college. College is not for everyone.
It's really vital that kids cast a vision as to where they would like to be. During my years in a high school setting we used a variety of instruments and tools to help kids identify their interest and talents and then research career possibilities that matched. I recall a heated discussion with a dad whose son wanted to be a mechanic. Two older siblings had gone off to college and he was planning the same for #3. The kid was a natural with car engines. He bailed me out one afternoon when my vehicle wouldn't start. He also told me what I should report to my mechanic. He was on target too.
We need mechanics and electricians and plumbers, just like we need doctors, teachers and engineers. If I have a broken pipe, I could care less if the plumber they send out has a college education. I just want someone who can fix the problem.
Talk with your teens about their plans and dreams. Help them to focus on what they want to become, then bless them and set them free to pursue that dream. College might help them reach that goal but maybe trade school or the armed services would be more beneficial.
Having spent eleven years in a high school counseling office I remember the stress that came with this time of year. Seniors were approaching decision time in terms of which school to attend and junior were developing their list of schools they needed to visit. Then their was the angst that came from parents whose seniors had decided college was not for them.
I was at a school where a high percentage of our graduates went on to college. When the parents of perspective students visited on campus they did not ask if our graduates went to college, rather they wanted to know what kinds of colleges and universities welcomed our students.
Even then it bothered me that some parents saw college as a panacea. If we can just get them that college degree they will have the ticket to a successful career and life.
Don't get me wrong. A college education has tremendous benefit. Barb and I have three college graduates. All three had a positive college experience. They have all used that education to pursue careers and have achieved a degree of success, but I would never have force any of them to go to college. College is not for everyone.
It's really vital that kids cast a vision as to where they would like to be. During my years in a high school setting we used a variety of instruments and tools to help kids identify their interest and talents and then research career possibilities that matched. I recall a heated discussion with a dad whose son wanted to be a mechanic. Two older siblings had gone off to college and he was planning the same for #3. The kid was a natural with car engines. He bailed me out one afternoon when my vehicle wouldn't start. He also told me what I should report to my mechanic. He was on target too.
We need mechanics and electricians and plumbers, just like we need doctors, teachers and engineers. If I have a broken pipe, I could care less if the plumber they send out has a college education. I just want someone who can fix the problem.
Talk with your teens about their plans and dreams. Help them to focus on what they want to become, then bless them and set them free to pursue that dream. College might help them reach that goal but maybe trade school or the armed services would be more beneficial.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Doing the Right Thing: Promoting Sexual Abstinence
The news radio station that I listen to has a feature they call The Other Side of the News. It features unique, quirky, kinds of stories you would not normally hear, like the guy who created a picture of President Lincoln made entirely out of pennies. I found a story one day last week more than a little disturbing. It seems that a bridal couple somewhere in the northeast U.S. had their wedding reception interrupted when the pregnant bride's water broke. The bride encouraged the guests to "party-on" while she and her new husband went off the the hospital. Labor was induced and a healthy baby delivered. The bridal party later joined the new parents to continue the celebration.
One comment by the new husband-dad really troubled me. "We just wanted to do the right thing," he rationalized. In his mind their being married insured that the child would not be born out-of-wedlock. My reaction was, the right things would be to wait until after marriage to have intercourse in the first place. I know that is not the popular opinion these days but it is still the way God intended it to be.
It was ironic that I heard the story on the same day that the results of a new study on marriage was released. The report, issued by the National Center for Health Statistics, concluded that couples to live together before marriage and those that don't both have the same chance of a successful marriage. The report noted that two-thirds of couples now live together prior to being married. I think it's pretty safe to assume that those living together are sexually active.
All this points to the importance of communicating God's plan to our teens. It is never too early to talk about the issue. A friend commented to me last week that his ten year old daughter was showing signs of puberty. He wondered aloud whether he and his wife needed to raise the issue of sex and the feelings that accompany puberty. I convinced him it was. If protecting her virginity was a high priority, it was vital to draw the line in the sand as soon as possible. It's not the popular opinion but it is, and always will be, God's will.
One comment by the new husband-dad really troubled me. "We just wanted to do the right thing," he rationalized. In his mind their being married insured that the child would not be born out-of-wedlock. My reaction was, the right things would be to wait until after marriage to have intercourse in the first place. I know that is not the popular opinion these days but it is still the way God intended it to be.
It was ironic that I heard the story on the same day that the results of a new study on marriage was released. The report, issued by the National Center for Health Statistics, concluded that couples to live together before marriage and those that don't both have the same chance of a successful marriage. The report noted that two-thirds of couples now live together prior to being married. I think it's pretty safe to assume that those living together are sexually active.
All this points to the importance of communicating God's plan to our teens. It is never too early to talk about the issue. A friend commented to me last week that his ten year old daughter was showing signs of puberty. He wondered aloud whether he and his wife needed to raise the issue of sex and the feelings that accompany puberty. I convinced him it was. If protecting her virginity was a high priority, it was vital to draw the line in the sand as soon as possible. It's not the popular opinion but it is, and always will be, God's will.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Why is it so Tough to Forgive?
I sensed that a lot of people were uncomfortable in our church last Sunday. The text for the message was from Luke 6: the part that begins, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." The typical response to such a request is, "After what they've done for me, you want me to do what?"
During the education hour I had the opportunity to take the opposite side. Our church uses Group Publishing's Faithweaver curriculum. When we split into discussion groups someone was supposed to take the opposite point of view. That was no problem. I could think of countless reasons I should not forgive those who have hurt me or even just threatened my turf. That covers a lot of ground from those who cut me off on the highway, to those who at one time personally attacked me in a church congregational meeting. How unthinkable that they want me removed from my ministry.
The answer is "yes" to all of the above. Wait, make that a resounding "yes."
Consider my favorite parable: The Forgiving Father (Luke 15:11-32). In the story the father takes back the wayward son, no questions asked. The kid had blown half the family inheritance and embarrassed the family name. No, "How could you do this to us?" or "Where have you been?"
We have a model in our Heavenly Father who welcomes us home in the same way. When we approach with repentant hearts He just forgives, no questions asked.
While it might be difficult to forgive those "nameless so and so's" who cut us off on the highway, it should not be that challenging to forgive our own offspring. Unfortunately that isn't always the case. Our kids mistakes cost us money and damage our reputation. Still, the reality is our kids will always be our kids. That means loving them when they let us down in the same way we do when they make us proud.
That's the kind of Heavenly Father we have and that's the kind of earthly parent he wants us to be.
During the education hour I had the opportunity to take the opposite side. Our church uses Group Publishing's Faithweaver curriculum. When we split into discussion groups someone was supposed to take the opposite point of view. That was no problem. I could think of countless reasons I should not forgive those who have hurt me or even just threatened my turf. That covers a lot of ground from those who cut me off on the highway, to those who at one time personally attacked me in a church congregational meeting. How unthinkable that they want me removed from my ministry.
The answer is "yes" to all of the above. Wait, make that a resounding "yes."
Consider my favorite parable: The Forgiving Father (Luke 15:11-32). In the story the father takes back the wayward son, no questions asked. The kid had blown half the family inheritance and embarrassed the family name. No, "How could you do this to us?" or "Where have you been?"
We have a model in our Heavenly Father who welcomes us home in the same way. When we approach with repentant hearts He just forgives, no questions asked.
While it might be difficult to forgive those "nameless so and so's" who cut us off on the highway, it should not be that challenging to forgive our own offspring. Unfortunately that isn't always the case. Our kids mistakes cost us money and damage our reputation. Still, the reality is our kids will always be our kids. That means loving them when they let us down in the same way we do when they make us proud.
That's the kind of Heavenly Father we have and that's the kind of earthly parent he wants us to be.
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