Friendsgiving

Thanksgiving Day is an American tradition.   Legend is a 1621 feast in Plymouth, Massachusetts was prompted by a good harvest, which the Pilgrims celebrated with Native Americans, who helped them pass the last winter by giving them food in the time of scarcity. On October 31, 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a presidential proclamation making the holiday to the next to last Thursday in November.   Two years later, on December 26, 1941, he signed a joint resolution of Congress changing the national Thanksgiving Day from the last Thursday in November to the fourth Thursday.

Recently, Millennials and Gen Z’s have added a new twist to the observation of Thanksgiving.  Friendsgiving adds the gift of friendship to the other blessings.  According to the Urban Dictionary; “Friendsgiving is the celebration of a Thanksgiving dinner with your friends.”   It refers to a large meal eaten with friends either on or near Thanksgiving. Young people are serious about their Friendsgiving celebrations: The internet if full of instructions, sample menus, rules, and even commandments for Friendsgiving. Initially, Friendsgiving was a much less formal celebration of a Thanksgiving meal. 

For traditional church people, a Friendsgiving meal might be like a church potluck held in the confines of someone’s home or apartment.  Everyone who attends agrees in advance to bring something.  The host is responsible for cooking the turkey and making sure there is a proper table setting for each guest.  A good guest also brings along a bottle of wine to share and an appropriate gift for the host. 

Some of the Friendsgiving Commandments include:

Thou shalt not plan to cook/prep/assemble food in the host’s kitchen.

Thou shalt remember thy friends with allergies.

Thou shalt not be offended if no one eats your dish.

Thou shalt not critique any dish — including your own.

Whether it is a traditional Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving you celebrate, I pray that you enjoy the fellowship and take time to also remember our God who is the Giver of all good things.

Understanding Why They Don't Like Us

“Why is it that a generation that is so passionate about making a difference rejects an institution that is all about making a difference?”   A pastor friend asked me that question recently.  He was referring to today’s teens and young adults and their relationship with the church.  Millennials and Gen Z’s are quick to respond to the needs of children who live in poverty.  They can be passionate about protecting the environment.  Members of Generation Z in particular want to make a difference.  Their goal is to make the world a better place.  It seems like a perfect fit for young folks to want to partner with the church, a body that is all about grace, mercy and compassion has its roots.

 

The unfortunate reality is almost a third of Millennials and a quarter of Gen Z’s view Christians a hypocritical.  From their perspective Christians talk a good game but really do not carry through.  Another major stumbling block for people who have grown up in the world of STEM education (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) it is easy to see the church in conflict with what they have been taught.  An additional problem is their perception that the church is not a place to ask question.  In the minds of some young people the church does not even want to discuss issues like creation or moral issues. 

A recent report from Pew Research added another aspect to the question, why don’t Millennials and Gen Z’s like the church?  The sad fact is they do like the church meddling in the political arena.  In the highly charged, deeply divided atmosphere that currently exist; young people would like to see the church quiet, perhaps in the role of peacemaker. If anything, they want us to be praying for our leaders in general and not taking sides. 

Kids Want to be Youtube Stars

I was recently returning from Detroit on a Southwest Airlines flight when I came across an interesting article in the in-flight magazine.  I normally don’t spend a lot of time reading the magazines found in the seat pocket.  It is usually limited to those periods during takeoff and landing when I am asked to “store my large electronic device.”  In this brief, one page, piece focused on kids and Youtube.  It offered the shocking stat that 29% of kids want to be Youtubers when they grow up. 

For those who are uninformed; a Youtuber is an individual who makes a living producing videos and posting them on the social media website.  Just how you make money producing videos that people can watch for free I quite frankly don’t know, but when it comes to computers and social media I am oblivious on a lot of things.  The truth is more kids want to be internet stars than astronauts.  I have to wonder what happened to the days when kids dreamed of being a fireman, professional athlete or even a doctor.

Then I got to thinking.  During my middle school years I dreamed of being a disc jockey.  We had a family friend who was the nighttime DJ on the most popular top 40 station in Detroit, WXYZ.  His on the air persona was Wacky Weiss but in actuality he was Fred Weiss who sang in the bass section in the church choir.  On evenings when he was doing a remote broadcast, which in those days was quite common, we would stop by and watch him at work.  I was hooked.  I thought that was coolest job in the world and I would spend hours in my room programing my own 45 rpm records and practicing my on-the-air voice.  One evening in college we got to talking and it was surprising how many of my dorm-mates did a similar thing. 

Perhaps being a Youtuber is not that ridiculous.  The important thing is make sure our kids are surrounded by adults who keep them grounded in terms of faith and values.  In the end we are to do all things to God’s glory.  The requires that all of us filter how we use social media through the lens of humility and servanthood. 

A Family Mission Trip

I grew up is a somewhat idyllic community on the eastside of Detroit.  The Motor City was a vibrant, and still relatively safe, place in the late 50’s and early 60’s.  My friends and I really considered the whole city our playground.  In the case of my siblings and I, we also grew up in a neighborhood surrounded by family.  My aunt and uncle, as well as my grandparents, lived within a few blocks.  My three great aunts also lived with a mile.  Until last summer my Uncle Don, a World War II veteran, still lived in a house in that neighborhood.  Detroit is not a hospitable place these days, but uncle had great neighbors who watched out for him.  Whenever we talked to him about moving he dug his feet in.  After a serious fall, he finally listened to his doctor.  My siblings and I moved him into an apartment in a senior community in July, with the promise to return to deal with the house.

The move was easy.   Cleaning out a house filled with sixty-plus years of memories was another issue.   My Uncle has lived alone in the house for the last seventeen years.  You can only begin to imagine the condition of the house.  It meant going through years of family records and sorting through lots of stuff.  We found some gems like my uncle’s original Erector Set and his army uniform.  I also brought home lots of pictures including my mom on her wedding day and my dad in his WW II Coast Guard uniform.  My Aunt Phyllis taught the 2^nd grade Sunday school class at St. James Lutheran Church in Grosse Pointe until her health declined.  In going through her room we found old Sunday school lesson books, children’s hymnals and gifts that she had bought for her students.

Probably the most meaningful finds were a copy of the paperwork from my great-great grandmother’s passage through Ellis Island in 1922 and Ration Book from WW II. Both not only reminded me of what my descendants had gone through but the way God blessed them.  Family Bibles and a copy of a Lutheran Hymnal in German further underscored the faith of my ancestors.   The whole experience left me more determined to live their legacy. I also want to pass the torch of faith to my my children and grandchildren.