A Baseball Prodigy

I found the cover photo of last week's Sports Illustrated a little disturbing. It wasn't Kobe Bryant, Albert Pujols or some other recognizable superstar but rather a sixteen year old baseball prodigy. "Baseballs Chosen One," the headline proclaimed. Baseball scouts are drooling over a high school sophomore who slugs five hundred foot home runs and fires the ball at ninty-six miles per hour. His name is Bryce Harper and he lives in Las Vegas. He is so far above other high school players in his area that he now flys around the country playing for various all star teams. There is talk of him taking the GED so that can graduate early and be eligible for the major league draft. Noted agent, Scott Boras, is already advising his parents.

I am not Scott Boras but I do have some advise. Slow Down, mom and dad. I point to two other high school phenoms; David Clyde and Todd Van Poppel. Both made the jump right from high school to the major leagues. Both had abbreviated careers. Sure there have been some successes. Robin Yount and Ivan Rodriguez come to mind. Rodriguez is even a natural catcher like Harper.

The article portrays Bryce Harper as a kid who has his act together. In one picture in the magazine the scripture reference "Luke 1:37" adorns one taped wrist, the words, "Play for Him" is on the other. He supposedly participates in a Bible study every morning. Good for him. He still is only sixteen years old. While he has athletic ability far beyond the age, he has the brain and maturity of a teenager. His value system is still developing and his life management skills are very much a work in progress. To surround him with people who will manage his life is doing him a disservice. To deny him the opportunity to grow up experiencing his high school years could sow the seeds of resentment somewhere down the line. In short, Bryce needs to just be allowed to grow up. If he's that good the money will always be there.

An interesting contrast was a brief article in this mornings Dallas Morning News. "Paschal (high school) Star Takes Dad's Advice," was the heading. The story was about Brian Milner and his son Hoby. Brian was high school prodigy who turned down a scholarship to Arizona State to sign with the Blue Jays. He was out of the game five years later with only nine profession at bats. Last month, thirty one years later, he finally graduated from college. Now Hoby has "eye popping" statistics. Hoby plans to attend the University of Texas on a baseball scholarship. "If anything happens, I'll have my degree," he states.

That says it all.

A Note to Misty, Amber and Tiffany's Mom

I have a message for Misty, Amber and Tiffany's mom. Chill!!!



I caught my first glimpse of her as I slowly drove through a school zone yesterday. I glanced into my rearview mirror to see her riding my rear bumper, cell phone in her right hand and tigthly gripping the steering wheel with her left. I could see a small soccer ball swaying from her mirror. Before we had exited the school zone she had swerved into the right lane and accelerated ahead of me. She must have found a break in the traffice because the next thing I noticed was she cut across the center lane bound for the left one, which appeared to be clear. I caught up with her at the next stop light. She was one car ahead of me in the left lane. The names of her three daughters were displayed proudly in the back window of her Ford Explorer: Misty-Patriots, Amber-Hotshots, Tiffany-Hornets. She was a soccer mom and she was on a mission.

The pattern continued. It's about eight miles up Josey Lane from where I first met Misty, Amber and Tiffany's mom to where I turned right and headed for a hospital visit. I was her shadow almost the entire route. She would speed away from every green light. I could see glimpses of her darting in and out of lanes up ahead. Meanwhile, I was plodding along at the posted speed limit. At most lights I coasted up just in time to see her pull away. At one light, I don't know if it was me or the person in the left lane that she was frustrated with. I had timed it right and reached the intersection just as the light turned green. I coasted by her, as she was hung up behind a slow-moving grey Lexus. "Imagine that, a driver in the far left lane who actually drives the speed limit," I am sure she thought. I watched her swing in behind me, accelerated past and then cut across my lane to get back to the left. Sure enough, she was waiting for me as I coasted up to the next light.

I think I could even identify her when she isn't behind the wheel. She would be the mom in the bleachers at the soccer game complaining about the incompetent referees. She would be the mom in the parking lot tapping her shoe while the coach debriefed the team after the game. "Come on, let's get on with it. I have other places to be, you know." As a coach myself, she would expect her to be the mom who would call me hours after the game asking why her precious daughter, with so much natural talent, wasn't seeing more time on the field.

I guess what troubled me most was the "fish" symbol on the rear bumper of her SUV and the decal identifying the church she was affiliated with. I guess that church hasn't taught the part of the Bible on spiritual gifts, especially patience.

I know I am wrong for pre-judging the woman. Maybe she is a nice person and I was just catching her at a bad time. I guess the lesson here is the responsibility we all carry when we wear the sign of the cross, or in this case the fish. We identify ourselves as being members of God's Kingdom. We represent Christ in all we do. It's easy to get caught up in the pressures of this world and forget that. It can especially be that way for contemporary parents, many of whom are balancing full-time jobs and surviving this economy, in addition to their parenting responsibilities. Maybe we all need to just chill once in a while and think about who we are as Children of God.

Saying Goodbye

I am in the process of saying goodbye to a couple of good friends.

Tim Perkins as been the associate pastor at our church for five years. Tim took a leave of absence late last year and then revealed in January that he is an alcoholic. That has taken its toll on him and his family. He feels the being led by God to step away from full-time ministry right now. I will miss seeing him, his wife Amber and their beautiful three kids on a regular basis.

Then there is Phil Gooden and his family. Phil has played acustic guitar in our praise band for a couple of years. Good guy and great friend. He lost his job last year but he found a new one almost immediately. The problem is it's in Milwaukee. He's been commuting since but now that school is out, the family is pulling up stakes. Next Sunday will be his last one with us.

Saying goodbye is nothing new to me. Barb and I have served four churches in three different states, prior to her taking the position at Crown of Life in Colleyville. I also spent eleven great years at Lutheran High of Dallas before losing my position in a staff down-sizing. Bottom line is I maybe have gotten too good at saying goodbye. At times it seems like life is a parade, with people just marching past. If anything, I have learned to love and appreciate them while I have them.

While our kids will always be our kids, our earthly situations might change. At times it will seem like they are just passing through our lives too. Learn to appreciate each stage of life for what it is... a gift from God. Our earthly relationships and circumstances might change but our God is always the same. Maybe that is where we need to be investing more of our time. Make Him your companion on your evening walks, your silent bed partner when you lie down at night and that trusted friend you have coffee with in the morning.

Flyover Fellowship

I was at church last night for praise team practice. I left before 9:00 PM and got home at 10:30 PM. Normally the trip takes less than half an hour. I spent over an hour parked on the flyover ramp from highway 114 to I-635. A bad accident had shutdown the highway. I called my wife and alerted her to the situation, so she took a different route. She was relaxing at home when I got there.

Yesterday was a long day. I had spent eight hours doing my hospital chaplain visits. For some reason they were more mentally taxing than normal. On my way home I had stopped by Home Depot to pick up forty square feet of sod to finish off a project in our front yard. Loading and unloading that was a chore. By nine o clock was was exhausted. Being stuck on a freeway was not where I wanted to be.

I could have spent the time listening to the radio, or one of the Garrison Keillor tapes I carry in the car. Instead I shut off the engine and stepped out of my car. Soon I found others around me doing the same thing. In a short while there were six or eight of us conversing. I can't say as I got to know any of them intimately but we did have some great conversation. I mentioned to a couple of them that I was on my way home from church. They were curious about the band I sang in. I guess they found it strange that a grandfather, who wears a flattop, enjoys singing contemporary Christian music.

My wife had shared a devotion on frontyard evangelism prior to our practice. The point being that if we spend time in our frontyards, rather than the back, we have more opportunities to meet our neighbors and share our faith stories with them. I guess I took it to heart. Instead of frontyard evangelism I had some flyover fellowship.

So, where is this going and how does it apply to parenting? My question to you, how do you handle life's incoveniences? When forced to wait in traffic or when stuck in a waiting room while your doctor runs behind schedule, how do you react? It becomes even more important when our children are part of the experience. The way we handle the "speed bumps" of life sends a message to them. It helps prepare them for the twists and turns they will have to face.

What to do With Bullies?

I am not a big fan of talk radio. I prefer to listen to news radio when I am at home, music when I am in the car. Oh yes, baseball is still best on the radio. But last Thursday I got into the car and there was a talk show. My favorite news station shifts to that format mid-day. Before I could change stations I recognized the topic. The discussion was on bullies in school. I was hooked because it's a topic I am familiar with and have strong feelings about. Our youngest son was the victim of bullies throughout his schooling. As a school counselor I also had to deal with both the victims and the bullies themselves. We instituted a peer mediation program at our school to help those who wanted help in dealing with bullies.

Most to the callers seemed to buy into the, "I teach me kid to defend themselves," camp. Such individuals would not only support their child if they chose to retaliate, but would be disappointed if they did not. Some of the predominately male callers even envoked the, "We're Texans and we always defend ourselves and our dignity." I was not suprised because I think most parents would respond the same way.

Let me continue by saying that bullying is a huge problem in our schools. Statistics indicate that three quarters of all kids report being bullied at one time or another. Being the victim is not fun and can lead to serious issues. Besides being scared and embarrassed, some kids even become physically sick. Others carry the long-term damage to their self esteem.

Responding to the bully with anger and brute force is exactly the wrong thing to do. When a student retaliates they give the bully exactly what they want. Bullies want the satisfaction of knowing they have control and power. Even if the situation escalates and the victim wins the confrontation the bully is the victor because they've gotten the response they wanted. They won't stop their behavior. They'll just look for another victim to control.

So how do we prepare of kids to deal with bullies? It starts by helping them feel good about themselves. We also need to discuss the issue with them before it happens so that they are prepared. Here are four steps you can discuss with your child.

1. Avoid those who have a reputation for being a bully. Bullies are never good friends, even on a casual level.

2. Get a buddy. Have a least one good friend that you know you can count on in all situations. It helps if they share similar values and interests. Discuss the issue of bullying with them before it happens.

3. If confronted by a bully communicate with them that you know what they are trying to do and that you don't intend to play their game. In other words stand up to them in a non-confrontational way.

4. If the bullying continues, seek adult help. A favorite teacher or the school counselor might be a good advocate. Teach your child that it's ok to admit that there is a problem and that you need help in dealing with it.

This is a topic you need to address with your child. We want them to become part of the solution and not part of the problem.

Rights of Passage

It is the time of year when many parents are celebrating the rights of passage in the lives of their children. Confirmation, graduation and spring weddings are such events. We recently celebrated such an occasion in our family. Our daughter, Katie, received her masters degree from Dallas Baptist University. She aspires to be a contemporary worship leader. DBU is one of the few schools in the country is a program in worship leadership.

We had quite a celebration. All our children are grown but we still rejoice in their accomplishments. We took lots of pictures. Her Uncle Bill flew in from Baltimore for the event. We hosted a party for her and her friends. For a parent there is no greater joy than watching your kids grow up and be successful.

At such times it easy to forget about all the struggles in between. When she was younger we referred to her as "Princess Terror," does that tell you something about her childhood.

A word of advice to all parents: enjoy the moment. Each stage of life has its joys, just as it has its frustrations. We often want to fast-forward our kids and see the finish product. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. Besides, think of all the fun we would miss out on. So, take each day for what it is... a gift from God.

Bristol Palin and Abstinence

Bristol Palin, the daughter of the Governor of Alaska and former VP Candidate, Sarah Palin, is back in the news again. Last summer her out-of-wedlock pregnancy made national news. Since the election she has given birth to a baby boy and broken her engagement to the child's father. Last week the attention was on her public stand promoting abstinence.

I find her honesty and personal stand refreshing. First-off she did not compound the problem by entering into a marriage relationship she was uncomfortable with. Secondly, she has taken responsibility for her actions and seems to have learned from the experience.

There is a lesson to be learned here for all parents. We need to be mindful of the maturity level of our teens and their inability to act rationally on their emotions. The latest research on the adolescent brain indicates that the pre-frontal context, the portion of the brain that connects feeling and emotions with the long-term memory, is underdeveloped. The pre-frontal cortex really functions as the executive portion of the brain, helping individuals make decisions based on past experience and long-term goals. This helps explain a teenager's impulsive nature. God, in his infinite wisdom, has given teens the ability to be sexually active, along with the feelings to go with it but they are not mentally prepared to make good decisions. Bristol Palin is living proof of that.

This raises the stakes for parents of teenagers. It is our responsibility to help them be ready to make wholesome choices and be ready to forgive them when they don't. One way is to educate them. The other is to monitor their behavior and make sure they are surrounded by a support system of both peers and other adults.

Instead of criticism, Bristol Palin needs to be forgiven. I suspect her parents have already don that. She also deserves our praise and respect. She learned the importance of teen abstinence the hard way. Now she is speaking out about it and that is something we should all support.