If you live in the DFW area you are probably familar with the story of Taylor Pugh. Taylor has been in the news lately because according to the Mesquite School District his hair is too long. Taylor was not allowed to attend class with his friends, but instead received one-one instruction in private. What made this story so disturbing to me was Taylor's age. He's four years old.
I caught on early to the fact that this was his parent's agenda. Mom was the spokesperson. In fact we never really heard from Taylor himself. Length of hair was the agenda and mom would not budge. When the school district offered a compromise, hair ok as long as it was braided, she stated that doing so caused his head to hurt.
Jacquielynn Floyd offer a different perspective to the Taylor Pugh saga in this morning's Dallas Morning News. She tracked down a former hair martyr named Heath Peables. Heath was a Texas sixth grader in the 70's when his parents took a similar stand. "I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to fit it." he stated in a recent interview.
Therein lies the reality for most pre-school and elementary age kids. They just want to fit it, to find their place in the classroom. The sad case is that too many times a parent's agenda becomes the child's and in the process the child is the victim.
Somewhere along the line we need to convey our thoughts and opinions to our children but in almost all cases they need to be allowed to develop thier own agendas. That probably won't happen until the teen years. Up until then their primary agenda is just being a kid and fitting in.
By the way, Taylor is back with his friends, his hair in cornrow braids.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Reflections on MLK Day
I grew up on the eastside of Detroit in the fifties and sixties. Motown was a very segregated city in those days. I lived an all-white neighborhood and went to a public school where I was surrounded by kids like me. There were "colored people," that's what they were called in those days, living in Detroit but they had their area of town and we had ours.
Something significant happened in my life in 1962. The Board of Education bought all the houses in our neighborhood in order to expand elementary school and convert it into a high school. It was a known fact that the new high school would be one of the first to be fully integrated. Most of our neighbor chose to flee to new homes in the suburbs. My parents made the decision to move further into the city. Over the next several years the neighborhood where our family lived went through several transitions. The riot of 1967 marked the beginning of change. Blacks had made their statement and the city was never the same. My parents lived in that same house until 2004 when they moved to an apartment in a retirement community. Dad died within six months.
My dad never talked much about Dr. King, but I believe they shared a common believe. We all need to learn how to just get along together. People, regardless of color, need to live in peace. I think the reason my folks were able to live in the same home in the city for over forty years was because my dad always viewed his neighbors as his friends. He greeted all people with a friendly hello. As a result those who lived around him tried to watch out for him and mom. Their snow was shovel and their house protected.
So, while the rest of the world reflects on Dr. King, I will reflect on my dad and the heritage he passed on to me. All people are part of God's creation. All people need to be loved. All people need Jesus. "Why can't we all just get along?"
What kind of heritage are you passing on to your children? What do your actions say about your attitude toward those who are different than you?
Something significant happened in my life in 1962. The Board of Education bought all the houses in our neighborhood in order to expand elementary school and convert it into a high school. It was a known fact that the new high school would be one of the first to be fully integrated. Most of our neighbor chose to flee to new homes in the suburbs. My parents made the decision to move further into the city. Over the next several years the neighborhood where our family lived went through several transitions. The riot of 1967 marked the beginning of change. Blacks had made their statement and the city was never the same. My parents lived in that same house until 2004 when they moved to an apartment in a retirement community. Dad died within six months.
My dad never talked much about Dr. King, but I believe they shared a common believe. We all need to learn how to just get along together. People, regardless of color, need to live in peace. I think the reason my folks were able to live in the same home in the city for over forty years was because my dad always viewed his neighbors as his friends. He greeted all people with a friendly hello. As a result those who lived around him tried to watch out for him and mom. Their snow was shovel and their house protected.
So, while the rest of the world reflects on Dr. King, I will reflect on my dad and the heritage he passed on to me. All people are part of God's creation. All people need to be loved. All people need Jesus. "Why can't we all just get along?"
What kind of heritage are you passing on to your children? What do your actions say about your attitude toward those who are different than you?
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The Gift of Texting
I was a substitute teacher in a middle school yesterday. At the end of the day one of my assigned tasks was to return cell phone to students. In that school student are required to hand over their phones at the beginning of the school day so that they are not tempted to be using them during the school day. Almost all schools have a similar cell phone policy. While it was a minor inconvenience, it caused me to consider what a gift modern technology is.
When I was in high school I always carried a pocket full of dimes. That is what it took to use a pay phone to call home. I got in trouble with my parents during my junior year and after that I was required to check in any time my plans changed or I was going to be delayed getting home. I could have never imagined when there would come a day when I would carry a phone in my pocket.
I am relatively new to the world of texting. I got a new cell phone in November and added two features to my plan. I now have a blue tooth so I can talk hands-free while driving and I have unlimited texting. I soon discovered that most of my texting is to our kids. We have three adult children. Texting is a great way to check in with them without disrupting their routine.
What a gift texting is to parents! It's a way to stay in touch with our kids when they are out of sight. I know not all parents are as "techno-savy" but in my opinion it's worth paying for unlimited texting and to put forth the effort to learn how. Oh by the way, please avoid the temptation to text your child during the school day, lest you get them in trouble.
And the #1 message we should be sending. "Luv Ya! GB" (that's God Bless).
When I was in high school I always carried a pocket full of dimes. That is what it took to use a pay phone to call home. I got in trouble with my parents during my junior year and after that I was required to check in any time my plans changed or I was going to be delayed getting home. I could have never imagined when there would come a day when I would carry a phone in my pocket.
I am relatively new to the world of texting. I got a new cell phone in November and added two features to my plan. I now have a blue tooth so I can talk hands-free while driving and I have unlimited texting. I soon discovered that most of my texting is to our kids. We have three adult children. Texting is a great way to check in with them without disrupting their routine.
What a gift texting is to parents! It's a way to stay in touch with our kids when they are out of sight. I know not all parents are as "techno-savy" but in my opinion it's worth paying for unlimited texting and to put forth the effort to learn how. Oh by the way, please avoid the temptation to text your child during the school day, lest you get them in trouble.
And the #1 message we should be sending. "Luv Ya! GB" (that's God Bless).
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
On the Fifth Day of Christmas
OK, I will admit to a case of the Post-Christmas Blues this morning. After four days of celebrating our Lord's Birth surrounded by our kids and grandkids, the house is quiet this morning. It's back to just grandma and myself. I look forward to the holidays because I cherish the family time. It's natural for me to feel a let-down once it's past. So, how does one combat the Post-Christmas Blues?
I try to focus on the fact that Christmas is a season, rather than a single day event. One of the more popular Christmas Carols is The Twelve Days of Christmas. It's one of my favorites because it underscores a little known fact. Christmas is a twelve day season running from December 25th to January 6th. January 6th is Epiphany, the day most of the Christian world celebrates Christ's Birth. For that reason the decorations in and around our house stay up until that day.
In actuality, Christ's birth is an event that needs to be celebrated on a daily basis. December 25th is just an arbitrary date. The actual date of Christ's birth is not known, so technically we can celebrate it any day. The same for Christ's resurrection. What a neat privilege we have! Christ's birth gives us joy. Christ's resurrection gives us hope. We have a reason to celebrate every day.
That is part of the legacy we need to pass on to our children. The best way to do that is to live it. Live each day with a sense of joy and hope. When others, especially the members of our family, see that it becomes our witness to them. It's another way of passing on the heritage of faith.
I try to focus on the fact that Christmas is a season, rather than a single day event. One of the more popular Christmas Carols is The Twelve Days of Christmas. It's one of my favorites because it underscores a little known fact. Christmas is a twelve day season running from December 25th to January 6th. January 6th is Epiphany, the day most of the Christian world celebrates Christ's Birth. For that reason the decorations in and around our house stay up until that day.
In actuality, Christ's birth is an event that needs to be celebrated on a daily basis. December 25th is just an arbitrary date. The actual date of Christ's birth is not known, so technically we can celebrate it any day. The same for Christ's resurrection. What a neat privilege we have! Christ's birth gives us joy. Christ's resurrection gives us hope. We have a reason to celebrate every day.
That is part of the legacy we need to pass on to our children. The best way to do that is to live it. Live each day with a sense of joy and hope. When others, especially the members of our family, see that it becomes our witness to them. It's another way of passing on the heritage of faith.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
What is Your Christmas Story?
What is your personal Christmas story? I am referring to a memory from a Christmas past, as opposed to the events surrounding our Savior's birth. From my perspective Jesus coming into the world as an infant born to a virgin is much more than a story. That's "The Christmas Miracle."
My mind is flooded with memories of Christmases pasts. One of my earliest memories happened when I was a child of probably four or five. I guess I had an angelic singing voice in those days, at least in the mind of my grandmother who had connections with the Sunday school superintendent. I was picked to sin a solo, the second verse of Away in the Manger, in the children's Christmas service at our church. My great grandmother had died earlier that year. As a motivation, my grandmother told me to sing loud so that Great Grandma Schild could hear me. I spent my entire time in the spotlight focused on the church balcony searching for my great grandmother's face. I guess I assumed since she was in heaven she had to be watching from someplace above.
I remember Christmas concerts at our church, St. James Lutheran Church in Grosse Pointe, Michigan. Our choir director, Carl Munzel, was a stern disciplinarian. I sang in the children's choir. We spent months preparing our three pieces. It was always three, the Trinitarian number. I recall one concert taking my place in the second row only to look out and see Miss Ketry, my 5th grade teacher, sitting in the front row. What was she doing there? I went to a public school. Such a mean-spirited tormentor of children had no business in any church, especially mine. I guess somewhere along the line I acquired a concept of the Gospel to go with my youthful legalism. Miss Ketry needed to hear the Good News just like I did.
I have so many memories of Christmas from my youth. Church and family were always in the middle of it. Those are the stories that I have shared with our children. Now they enjoy telling stories about our family's celebration of our Lord's Nativity. Many of the ornaments on our tree have individual stories behind them. Many represent significant events in our lives, others are gifts from friends. Some were lovingly made by our kids as pre-schoolers. Each year one of the first things our children look for is the Magi. In the manger scene under our tree the Magi don't arrive until Epiphany. Each year they take a different route to get there, moving closer each day. At this moment they are journeying across the mantel. Oh, and Jesus is hidden too. He appears between Mary and Joseph on Christmas Eve.
I am sure your family has traditions as well. You will probably create some new memories this Christmas, but take time to share memories of Christmases past too. That's your heritage of faith, the legacy you need to pass on to the next generation. We have a Savior. He came in the form of a baby, The Son of God who came into the world to save us from our sins. That's much more than a story. It's our Christmas miracle.
My mind is flooded with memories of Christmases pasts. One of my earliest memories happened when I was a child of probably four or five. I guess I had an angelic singing voice in those days, at least in the mind of my grandmother who had connections with the Sunday school superintendent. I was picked to sin a solo, the second verse of Away in the Manger, in the children's Christmas service at our church. My great grandmother had died earlier that year. As a motivation, my grandmother told me to sing loud so that Great Grandma Schild could hear me. I spent my entire time in the spotlight focused on the church balcony searching for my great grandmother's face. I guess I assumed since she was in heaven she had to be watching from someplace above.
I remember Christmas concerts at our church, St. James Lutheran Church in Grosse Pointe, Michigan. Our choir director, Carl Munzel, was a stern disciplinarian. I sang in the children's choir. We spent months preparing our three pieces. It was always three, the Trinitarian number. I recall one concert taking my place in the second row only to look out and see Miss Ketry, my 5th grade teacher, sitting in the front row. What was she doing there? I went to a public school. Such a mean-spirited tormentor of children had no business in any church, especially mine. I guess somewhere along the line I acquired a concept of the Gospel to go with my youthful legalism. Miss Ketry needed to hear the Good News just like I did.
I have so many memories of Christmas from my youth. Church and family were always in the middle of it. Those are the stories that I have shared with our children. Now they enjoy telling stories about our family's celebration of our Lord's Nativity. Many of the ornaments on our tree have individual stories behind them. Many represent significant events in our lives, others are gifts from friends. Some were lovingly made by our kids as pre-schoolers. Each year one of the first things our children look for is the Magi. In the manger scene under our tree the Magi don't arrive until Epiphany. Each year they take a different route to get there, moving closer each day. At this moment they are journeying across the mantel. Oh, and Jesus is hidden too. He appears between Mary and Joseph on Christmas Eve.
I am sure your family has traditions as well. You will probably create some new memories this Christmas, but take time to share memories of Christmases past too. That's your heritage of faith, the legacy you need to pass on to the next generation. We have a Savior. He came in the form of a baby, The Son of God who came into the world to save us from our sins. That's much more than a story. It's our Christmas miracle.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Self Serving Coaches
As a family we are college football fans. We've been TCU Horn Frog season ticket holders for years. This has been a fun season. It's been a great season for a number of teams. Four major college teams, in addition to TCU, remain undefeated.
One of those teams is the Cincinnati Bearcats but they are in an unusual position. They have lost their head coach. The University of Cincinnati players dedicated themselves to a goal. They worked hard and their commitment paid off. The reward is a trip to a BCS Bowl where they will play the Florida Gators. They will do so without their coach, Brian Kelly. Coach Kelly resigned to accept the head coaching position at Notre Dame. Kelly described it as his "dream job." We should not be surprised that Coach Kelly deserted his player to pursue his dream. Unfortunately he is typical of many adults who work with kids. I use the word "Kids" because that is what college athletes are. They are student athletes. In this case, the kids had their hearts broken. Many walked out of their final meeting with Coach Kelly angry. They knew what a traitor looked like when they saw one. They had committed themselves to a cause and they thought their coach had too. Instead a better offer came along and he left them "high and dry."
We should not be surprised. In his book Hurt: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers, Chap Clark writes about the heartaches caused by self-serving adults. "Whether it is a coach, school teacher, a parent, music teacher, or a Sunday school counselor, midadolescents (high school teens) intuitively believe that nearly every adult they have encountered has been subtly out to get something from them." Such adults could be a little league coach obsessed with winning at all cost or a teacher whose only goal is to help students pass the standardize test so their job remains secure.
So, what is a parent to do in order to insulate their child from a self-serving adults? It starts early. They need to get to know every adult who is in a position of influence over their child. It's important that all of those individuals share similar values and perspectives. Sure, when it comes to people like school teachers, it really is a matter of the luck of the draw. But in other cases parents do have control. Parents can dictate the role that coaches, church youth counselors and scout leaders play in the lives of their kids. If they love their kids, they will surround them with adults who share that sentiment.
Most importantly, it must start with you. The needs and the development of your child must be your #1 priority.
One of those teams is the Cincinnati Bearcats but they are in an unusual position. They have lost their head coach. The University of Cincinnati players dedicated themselves to a goal. They worked hard and their commitment paid off. The reward is a trip to a BCS Bowl where they will play the Florida Gators. They will do so without their coach, Brian Kelly. Coach Kelly resigned to accept the head coaching position at Notre Dame. Kelly described it as his "dream job." We should not be surprised that Coach Kelly deserted his player to pursue his dream. Unfortunately he is typical of many adults who work with kids. I use the word "Kids" because that is what college athletes are. They are student athletes. In this case, the kids had their hearts broken. Many walked out of their final meeting with Coach Kelly angry. They knew what a traitor looked like when they saw one. They had committed themselves to a cause and they thought their coach had too. Instead a better offer came along and he left them "high and dry."
We should not be surprised. In his book Hurt: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers, Chap Clark writes about the heartaches caused by self-serving adults. "Whether it is a coach, school teacher, a parent, music teacher, or a Sunday school counselor, midadolescents (high school teens) intuitively believe that nearly every adult they have encountered has been subtly out to get something from them." Such adults could be a little league coach obsessed with winning at all cost or a teacher whose only goal is to help students pass the standardize test so their job remains secure.
So, what is a parent to do in order to insulate their child from a self-serving adults? It starts early. They need to get to know every adult who is in a position of influence over their child. It's important that all of those individuals share similar values and perspectives. Sure, when it comes to people like school teachers, it really is a matter of the luck of the draw. But in other cases parents do have control. Parents can dictate the role that coaches, church youth counselors and scout leaders play in the lives of their kids. If they love their kids, they will surround them with adults who share that sentiment.
Most importantly, it must start with you. The needs and the development of your child must be your #1 priority.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Do Tiger Woods and His Wife Know Jesus?
It has been a week since we first heard of Tiger Woods' accident. It's a story that doesn't seem to go away. I will admit some initial fasination. I have never been a Tiger Woods fan, probably for the same reason I don't cheer for the Yankees and Jimmie Johnson. I have always had a heart for the underdog and a certain disdain for those who seem to win all the time. It's never been anything against Tiger personally. As more details came out my question became, Do Tiger and his wife, Elin, know Jesus?
I have to give Tiger credit for taking the sole responsibility for his actions. He is also saying all the right things, "I have let my family down and regret those transgressions with all my heart." He further states that he has, "not been true to his values." The word, "transgressions" sounds like a confession to me. That indicates to me that he has "come clean" with those who love him and who he has let down. Tiger is right when he states this should be a private matter.
Confession and absolution should always be a private matter. It's should be between the sinner and the person they have hurt and offended. For a Christian that goes beyond our earthly relationships to our Heavenly Father who also has been grieved and offended by our actions. Such confession adds a whole new demension. God is always more forgiving to the repentant sinner than friends and family. God not only fogives but He forgets. This side of heaven those transgressions will always be on our minds, casting a certain shadow over a relationship.
There is another aspect here. God's love is unconditional and his desire is that we love the same way. That's why the story of the Forgiving Father (Luke 15:11-32) is my favorite parable. The Father in the story was always waiting for the sons return. When it happened, he didn't ask questions. He just forgave and then celebrated. If Tiger and his wife are going to get through this with their marriage intact, unconditional love will have to be present. It sounds to me like Tiger has confessed with a repentant heart. Now it's time for forgiving, healing and eventually celebrating. Without Christ in their lives, that will never be fully complete.
There is no better model of God's Grace and Forgiveness than the Christian family. The primary responsibility in making that happen lies with mom and dad. Everybody makes mistakes. Teenager, because of their nature, are probably more prone to transgression than others. Our kids are always are kids, however. No sin should ever become a permanent barrier. Hold them accountable and wait for the confession. Sometimes that takes years but when it comes... forgive.
I have to give Tiger credit for taking the sole responsibility for his actions. He is also saying all the right things, "I have let my family down and regret those transgressions with all my heart." He further states that he has, "not been true to his values." The word, "transgressions" sounds like a confession to me. That indicates to me that he has "come clean" with those who love him and who he has let down. Tiger is right when he states this should be a private matter.
Confession and absolution should always be a private matter. It's should be between the sinner and the person they have hurt and offended. For a Christian that goes beyond our earthly relationships to our Heavenly Father who also has been grieved and offended by our actions. Such confession adds a whole new demension. God is always more forgiving to the repentant sinner than friends and family. God not only fogives but He forgets. This side of heaven those transgressions will always be on our minds, casting a certain shadow over a relationship.
There is another aspect here. God's love is unconditional and his desire is that we love the same way. That's why the story of the Forgiving Father (Luke 15:11-32) is my favorite parable. The Father in the story was always waiting for the sons return. When it happened, he didn't ask questions. He just forgave and then celebrated. If Tiger and his wife are going to get through this with their marriage intact, unconditional love will have to be present. It sounds to me like Tiger has confessed with a repentant heart. Now it's time for forgiving, healing and eventually celebrating. Without Christ in their lives, that will never be fully complete.
There is no better model of God's Grace and Forgiveness than the Christian family. The primary responsibility in making that happen lies with mom and dad. Everybody makes mistakes. Teenager, because of their nature, are probably more prone to transgression than others. Our kids are always are kids, however. No sin should ever become a permanent barrier. Hold them accountable and wait for the confession. Sometimes that takes years but when it comes... forgive.
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