With Teens it has to be Personal

“How many kids showed up?”  It was a question I knew I would be asked after every event during my years in youth ministry.  Sometimes it was the senior pastor on Monday morning, other times it was my own family when I got home.  Youth ministry is not unique on that account.  We tend to evaluate a church based on the average Sunday attendance, but, lots of folks in the sitting in the pew does not always guarantee they are growing spiritually.  We can plan an event that attracts a flock of teens but if the experience does nothing to further their relationship with Christ it is hard to call it youth ministry.

It took me a long time to learn the lesson; high numbers do not mean success.  It is all about relationships; my relationship with the people and ultimately their relationship with Jesus.  That has become even more so in youth ministry today.  Contemporary teens are over-programed and frequently stressed.   Their lives can become so full that they have little time for regular youth activities church.  By the time they are juniors and seniors we might see very little of them, other than Sunday morning.  As a result the participation numbers are down.  We have fewer kids and less time to work with those that we do have.  Still the door is open even for a relationship with kids who do not attend youth activities.   

Youth ministry has always been about relationships.   Probably the only difference is that now relationships are often not face to face.  Social media and the ability to text and facetime make it possible for kids to contact us 24/7.  All of this makes me a little envious.  In the days of landlines and postcards, daily contact with the kids in the youth group was near impossible.  If I got a call from a teen in the middle of the day it was probably not a good things; it either meant there was an emergency or they were in trouble.  Now kids can text their youth minister just to tell them “Hi” or to let them know they “Aced” their biology exam. 

Come to think of it, we all should look for opportunities to stay in touch with teens this way.  I never thought the day would come when I would get text messages from my grandson, Andrew, but that day is here.  What an opportunity!  But our communication with teens and young adults should not be limited to our grandchildren.  If there are young people in our lives, we need to show them we care.  Part of that comes from connecting on social media and letting them know they can contact us.  Greeting them at church and showing an interest in their lives and interest is a great way.  Showing up at their sporting events, concerts and other activities is another.  

It should especially be the case for those involved in ministry.  Every student should have their youth minister, DCE or one of the volunteer leaders on their contact list on their mobile devices.  It starts already in confirmation class.  Do you have a question or concern?  Text me.  Facing a tough decision and need someone to talk to, let me know.   

How many kids showed up?  No, how many kids have you had contact with this week? That should be the way we evaluate our ministry to teens.

Honestly, Doubt is a Reality

One thing I appreciate about most millennials is their honesty.  Once they feel comfortable with you, they will tell you exactly how they feel about an issue. Unfortunately, that is often not the case with many adults.  Granted there are some people who are opinionated.  Those folks are quick to get on their soapboxes concerning issues they are passionate about. Regrettably, that is not the case with many adults.  Most of us are satisfied with surface conversations, talking about the weather or our favorite sports team.  Think about it.  When was the last time you had a deep, heart to heart, conversation with a friend.

A recent report from The Barna Group indicates that doubt and fear about their faith is more prevalent among adult Christians than we might think.  Almost two-thirds of the adults polled for the study indicates that they had experienced doubt concerning their faith and even the existence of God.  If that is indeed the case, there are a lot of us who are hiding our deepest thoughts and concerns.  We do not talk about those uncertainties because we do not want people to think less of us.  As a result we play the religious game.  We put on a facade that we are confident and sure of our faith, when in reality fears and doubt are buried within us. 

If we can just open the door to a discussion about those doubts and fears we might not just create an atmosphere of honesty but an environment where millennials would feel welcome.  It is time for us to change the image that young people have of the church.  God’s desire is not for a worship community that focuses on spirituality but on brokenness.  That is why confession and absolution are such an important element when we gather as a community of faith.  God loves us, even amidst our doubts and fears. 

Detroit 67: A Personal Reflection

Last weekend marked the fiftieth anniversary of the Detroit Riots.  I grew up in the Motor City and happened to be home for a friend’s wedding that weekend.  My family had spent the Sunday at a cottage on Lake Huron.  My plan was to have my dad drive me to the bus station downtown so I could catch the “red eye” back to Chicago where I was working that summer.  As we got in the car to drive back to Detroit we got our first radio reports about the unrest.  I convinced my dad to at least try to make the drive downtown but we were turned back by policeman before we had driven two miles. 

We did make the trip before dawn the following morning.  The streets were deserted as we drove down Jefferson Avenue.   We passed block after block of stores that had been looted.  Some buildings were on fire but there was not a fireman in sight.  I did make it to the bus station, where I was informed I would need to pay an extra $5.00 for insurance because of the situation.  The streets were deserted and smoke hung in the air as we weaved through downtown.  As I headed east on I-94, a convoy of National Guard vehicles drove past heading in the opposite direction.  I immediately sensed that the beautiful town of childhood would never be the same.

The neighborhood I grew up in changed over the next few years.  The shops and homes were never touched by civil disturbances, but fear drove people to the suburbs.  One by one the shops on Warren Ave. closed and soon the community was a shadow of its former self.  While most of our neighbors sold their homes and joined the exodus, my parents stayed.  They lived in the same house for another thirty-seven years until declining health forced them to move to a senior community.  They stayed because my dad had the attitude that it was his neighborhood and he would learn to get along with whoever chose to live there.  On summer evenings when I returned home, I remember him sitting on the porch and greeting all who would pass by.

This past Sunday, the Detroit newspapers published a special edition reflecting on the riots. A major movie has been released that focuses on one of the stories from the riots.  I read the news articles but think I will pass on the film.  If you want insights into the Detroit of the Sixties and the circumstances that led to the disturbances I would recommend the book Once in a Great City, by David Maraniss. 

Personally, I would rather reflect on the lessons I wish we had learned from the uprising.  Economic classes are an unfortunate reality.  Ethic and racial diversity are also a part of our American landscape.  In my mind the solution comes in being sensitive to the needs of others, and learning to listen.  We can try to blame the police, or our civic leaders, but the change needs to happen in our neighborhoods and in the workplace.  Each one of us must take ownership of the problem. 

Messy Grace

I just finished reading the book Messy Grace by Caleb Kaltenbach.  Thanks to my friend Paul Short for recommending it to me.  Caleb Kaltenbach has a very unique perspective when it comes to the LGBT community and the church.  He was raised by his lesbian mother and her partner.  As such, he joined them in marching in gay pride parades and in the process experienced the hatred of some individuals in the name of Christianity.  During his high school years he became involved in a Christian community and ultimately became a pastor.  Today he is married with a family and is lead pastor at Discovery Church in Simi Valley, California.

In the book, Caleb Kaltenbach takes us on his spiritual journey.  He credits the love and grace he experienced through his Christian friends for his faith conversion.  In the process he not only came to know the love of Jesus, but God’s expectations in terms of our sexuality.  I found little to disagree with when it comes to his Biblical perspective on the LGBT issue.  There is little doubt that it runs counter to God’s plan for His creation.  Still we are called to minister to that community.  In the process, things can get messy; hence the title for the book.

I found one key statement that captures Caleb Kaltenbach’s perspective: People are not the enemy.  They are the mission.  It is a reality that we live in a different world where the culture has shifted.  Unfortunately, as Christians we meet people who are different from us and immediately perceive them as adversaries.  It might be that they are gay or perhaps come from a different spiritual perspective.  That runs contrary to the example that Jesus established.  He seemed to seek out those who were not only lost, but whose lifestyles might run counter to the religious community of that day.  Consider his relationship with Matthew, Zaccheus and the women at the well. 

Messy Grace is a must read for those of us who desire to make a difference in our changing culture.  If we hope to pass on the torch of faith we, need to stop seeing those who are different as adversaries.  

America: From a Millennial Perspective

As we prepare to celebrate this Fourth of July, the Barna Group has released a new report on what Americans believe makes our country great.  Participants were presented with a list of choices with the option of selecting two.  The top response was “the opportunity to be what you want to be” (24%).  The Constitution and freedom of the press/free speech with the next most popular responses at 21%.  We still value the freedom of religion (21%) and our democracy (21%).

There was big variance between generations when it came to the perception of what makes America great.  Baby boomers and Elders hold the Constitution and Bill of Rights in higher esteem (29% and 22% respectively) as opposed to Millennials (16% and 8%).  Freedom of religions was not nearly as important to Millennials (19%) as opposed to older adults (33%).  Millennials, more than any other generation, seem to value our country being a “melting pot society” (16%) while Baby Boomers and Elders hold that characteristic in lower esteem (3%).   

Based on my experience, I am not surprised at this information.  Young adults and teens both value the fact that they live in a country where they are free to be what God created them to be.  This includes how they use their skills and talents, as well as how they express themselves.  More than other generations, they want to celebrate our cultural and ethnic diversity.  Today’s young people also have a strong entrepreneurial spirit.  More than any other generation they want to capitalize on the opportunity live out the American dream. 

There are two things I have learned from Millennials.  It is okay to dream and strike out on your own.  Secondly, not to see the differences in people as an obstacle but rather as an opportunity. 

Cell Phone Reality Check

I got in trouble with my daughter a few weeks back.  We were out to dinner and my cell phone kept vibrating in my pocket.  It finally got the best of me so I checked a couple of times to see if I had a text or phone call.  Okay, I admit that I am tied to my mobile device.  I keep my calendar on it and use it to store a lot of information.  Since I work part-time for a chaplaincy service, it is the way my hospitals reach me in an emergency.  Yes,I also use it to get news and for social media.  I also know it is rude to use the phone during meal times… but sometimes curiosity gets the best of me. 

We tend to complain about teens and young adults and the way that they seemed to be tied to their mobile devices, but older adults might be just as bad.  A recent Pew Research poll indicates that 65% of American adults use social networking sites.  That is up 7% since Pew Research first started tracking media usage in 2005.  While use among teens and young adults has remained steady, the number of older adults using mobile devices for social media has climbed dramatically.  Currently, 35% of those 65 and older report using social media, compared to 2% in 2005.

I recently read a study that seems to indicate that teens still value face to face communication.  The research comes from YouGov.  It found that more than seven in ten teen mobile device users said they at least somewhat prefer to hanging out with friends to chatting online.  The reality is most teens still enjoy hanging out with their friends the traditional way.

Before we start criticizing teens and young adults for being tied to their mobile devices, take a look at our own habits.  Maybe we need to be better role models when it comes to our own use of our cell phones.

New Perspective on Summer Jobs

My first real job was delivering The Detroit Free Press during my high school years.  I had a morning route that required that I get up at 5:00 am.  I never got an allowance.  I earned my own spending money.  I also put some money in a savings account and gave my tithe to the church.  In addition I always had summer jobs.  My first work experience was cutting lawns for people in the neighborhood.  As I recall, I usually made somewhere in the area of two dollars for each lawn I cut.  During college I worked summers for the gas company in Detroit.  My dad was an accountant for the company and they had a program for the children of employees.  I worked during the summer in order to save up money to pay for incidental expenses during the school year. 

I recently read an article that leads me to believe that summer jobs for high school and even college students, are becoming a thing of the past.  For Baby Boomers and Generation X, the summer job was a rite of passage. Today's teenagers have other priorities. During July of last year 43% of 16- to 19-year-olds were either working or looking for a job. That's 10 points lower than in July 2006. In 1988 and 1989, the July labor force participation rate for teenagers nearly hit 70 percent. 

According to Bloomberg Business, there are a variety of reasons today’s students are not working.  In some cases they're being crowded out of the workforce by older Americans, now working past 65 at the highest rates in more than 50 years. Immigrants are competing with teens for jobs; a 2012 study found that less educated immigrants affected employment for U.S. native-born teenagers far more than for native-born adults. In other cases, parents are encouraging their kids to volunteer and sign up for extracurricular activities instead of working.  The theory is it will impress college admission counselors. College-bound teens aren't looking for work because the money doesn't go as far as it used to.

There is another reason many high school and college students are not seeking jobs.  Many of them are seeking internships where the emphasis is on gaining experience and building a network.  Even if the position does not pay, they still see the experience as being valuable.  There also is the added incentive to want to perform well.  The hope always is that it will pay off in the future.  Perhaps today’s students are a step ahead of where I was.  I worked so I had spending money.  Many of them are working to build a future.