An article that appeared in USA Today one day last week caught me eye. "Jesus takes a backseat to family." was the headline. The article reflected on a recent survey. The statement, "Christmas is a time to ..." was posed to over 2,000 folks. A higher percentage, 45% as opposed to 37%, stated spending time with family was their top priority.
Perhaps that is what I observed on December 26th. I walk for exercise, and that is what I was doing on a path near our house on the day after Christmas. It was a cool, but nice afternoon. Lots of folks were out. I greeted each one with a "Merry Christmas." From some I got a puzzled look, others responded with a smile. Very few returned the greeting. To be honest, most seemed to be pre-occupied, a few others distressed. Not much Christmas cheer, even from those who were accompanied by other people.
My guess is that most of those I met had spent Christmas Day with friends and family. A few might have even spent it in church. But did the Spirit of the Christ Child remain? It sure didn't seem so. Spending time with family is temporary. Having Christ in your life is forever. That is not the way we think or operate, however. We tend to seek those things that offer instant gratification.
Don't get me wrong. I value family time. Barb and I had our whole gang together for eight hours on Christmas Day. After everyone left I was soon craving for more. But the spirit of the Christ Child remained with me. I was reminded of that during my personal devotional time the next day, and again as I worshipped on the 2nd Day of Christmas.
Time with family is temporary, but time with Jesus is forever.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Parents, Not Teachers, to Blame for Poor Education
A brief article buried in the front section of yesterday's Dallas Morning News caught my attention. Poll: Parents to blame for school problems , the headline proclaimed. The article focused on a recent survey conducted by Stanford University. Only 35% of those surveyed faulted teachers, as opposed to 68% who believed parents deserve most of the blame. The survey was conducted in late September of this year and involved 1,001 adults nationwide who were surveyed by phone.
I am one who has always believed that the education of a child is primarily a parent's responsibility. As a Christian, I think the Bible makes it clear that is God's desire. Numerous times in the Old Testament, God reminds the Children of Israel of the need for parents to teach their children. (Deuteronomy 6:7 and Proverbs 22:6, as examples) The same theme is carried forth in the New Testament. (Ephesians 6:4 and 1 Timothy 3:4) One of my struggles during my years as a church educator was to convince parents that it was not mine or the church's primary job to provide religious training. We were there to assist them. That was a commitment they made at the time of their child's baptism.
Barb and I live in the City of Farmers Branch. As I write this our town is in the news because our mayor wants to form a seperate school district for our city. Currently most of the two-thirds of the children in our town who attend public school are in the Carrollton-Farmers Branch School District. Most to the remaining children, about a third, attend one of three large private schools within out city: Parish Episcopal School, Mary Immaculate Catholic School and Greenhill School. A small number of parents home school their children. Our mayor does not feel the CFBISD reflects our community. He also takes issue with the quality of education. If the Stanford study is correct, starting a new school district is not the answer. Getting parents involved is.
The decision on where a child goes for their education remains a parental one. The government, especially local politicians, should not interfere. Parental involvement, particularly when we're talking about religious, ethical and moral issues, is crucial. That is the way God intended it.
I am one who has always believed that the education of a child is primarily a parent's responsibility. As a Christian, I think the Bible makes it clear that is God's desire. Numerous times in the Old Testament, God reminds the Children of Israel of the need for parents to teach their children. (Deuteronomy 6:7 and Proverbs 22:6, as examples) The same theme is carried forth in the New Testament. (Ephesians 6:4 and 1 Timothy 3:4) One of my struggles during my years as a church educator was to convince parents that it was not mine or the church's primary job to provide religious training. We were there to assist them. That was a commitment they made at the time of their child's baptism.
Barb and I live in the City of Farmers Branch. As I write this our town is in the news because our mayor wants to form a seperate school district for our city. Currently most of the two-thirds of the children in our town who attend public school are in the Carrollton-Farmers Branch School District. Most to the remaining children, about a third, attend one of three large private schools within out city: Parish Episcopal School, Mary Immaculate Catholic School and Greenhill School. A small number of parents home school their children. Our mayor does not feel the CFBISD reflects our community. He also takes issue with the quality of education. If the Stanford study is correct, starting a new school district is not the answer. Getting parents involved is.
The decision on where a child goes for their education remains a parental one. The government, especially local politicians, should not interfere. Parental involvement, particularly when we're talking about religious, ethical and moral issues, is crucial. That is the way God intended it.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Kids and Cars: The Age Old Dilemma
It happened again last week. A group of Fort Worth teens were rushing to get back to their high school after an off-campus lunch break. Some witnesses said they were racing, but the drivers deny that. In reality that's not important. The unfortunate consequence is that one of the cars involved went out of control and had a horrific crash. A young man was killed. The victim was a passenger. His family described him as a good kid, who took his studies seriously. He was also a baseball player, who dreamed of playing college ball. His coach stated he had a good chance of being the starting 2nd baseman next spring.
A friend from our church was working nearby, and heard the crash. He was one of the first people on the scene: twisted metal and one young man who obviously was beyond help. It's an image that will forever be etched in his mind. We both shook our heads, "kids and cars," I stated. "But I was the same way when I was a kid," he replied. "I had my Camero. We went fast and took risks," he recalled. "Me too," I had to admit. My American Graffiti set was Eight Mile Road, in Detroit. It was a divided roadway. The suburb of East Detroit stood on one side and the City of Detroit was on the other. Races took place on the Detroit side. Known fact: The Detroit Police had bigger issues than enforcing the speed limits. The staging area was a drive-in, Dunkin' Burgers. Chevy 409's and 428 Plymouth Hemi's were both present, along with other hot cars.
Kids and cars: It's a dilemma for parents. Turning sixteen and getting your drivers license is viewed as a right-of-passage. Most parents face the prospect with mixed feelings: No more chauffeuring vs. handing the car keys to "our babies." Barb and I went through it three times. Our first "Kid car" was a 1980 Ford Granada. Our oldest son, Peter, labeled it the "Turbo Turd." It was an ugly brown with a tan roof to match. It was big, heavy and we felt our kids were safe surrounded by all the sheet metal. I don't recall any speeding tickets and only one minor fender bender.
There are a couple of things parents need to do. It obviously starts with providing proper training, followed up with some very clear rules and consequences. We also need to be observant. Who are the friends and associates of our teens that we don't feel comfortable with them riding with? As with the other teen issues, open honest communication is vital. The last step is probably equally important. Put them in a vehicle that is safe. Their image is not as important as their security.
A friend from our church was working nearby, and heard the crash. He was one of the first people on the scene: twisted metal and one young man who obviously was beyond help. It's an image that will forever be etched in his mind. We both shook our heads, "kids and cars," I stated. "But I was the same way when I was a kid," he replied. "I had my Camero. We went fast and took risks," he recalled. "Me too," I had to admit. My American Graffiti set was Eight Mile Road, in Detroit. It was a divided roadway. The suburb of East Detroit stood on one side and the City of Detroit was on the other. Races took place on the Detroit side. Known fact: The Detroit Police had bigger issues than enforcing the speed limits. The staging area was a drive-in, Dunkin' Burgers. Chevy 409's and 428 Plymouth Hemi's were both present, along with other hot cars.
Kids and cars: It's a dilemma for parents. Turning sixteen and getting your drivers license is viewed as a right-of-passage. Most parents face the prospect with mixed feelings: No more chauffeuring vs. handing the car keys to "our babies." Barb and I went through it three times. Our first "Kid car" was a 1980 Ford Granada. Our oldest son, Peter, labeled it the "Turbo Turd." It was an ugly brown with a tan roof to match. It was big, heavy and we felt our kids were safe surrounded by all the sheet metal. I don't recall any speeding tickets and only one minor fender bender.
There are a couple of things parents need to do. It obviously starts with providing proper training, followed up with some very clear rules and consequences. We also need to be observant. Who are the friends and associates of our teens that we don't feel comfortable with them riding with? As with the other teen issues, open honest communication is vital. The last step is probably equally important. Put them in a vehicle that is safe. Their image is not as important as their security.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Reflecting on Crisis
The most recent edition of Time Magazine arrived in my mailbox on Saturday emblazoned with the headline, What Really Happened 2000 - 2010. The time-frame issue offered reflection pieces on the major events that happened during the decade that will end December 31. It made for great reading, and I would highly recommend it. This current decade has been a time of tremendous change, consider the technological advances, just for starters. The way we view elections was altered due to the "Chad Debate" in 2000. Our country will forever be different because of the events of 9/11. We have endured contant war as we tried to fight terrorism in Iraq and then Afganistan. One of our countries most historic and iconic cities was almost totally destroyed by Hurricane Katrina and we have all been effected by the unstable economy. As a nation we have been in almost constant crisis.
Crisis are a reality. As a write this I have friends who are dealing with the ultimate crisis: the immenent death of a family member. Barbara Brunworth had a serious heart attack last Wednesday night. She has never regained consciousness. Test show serious brain damage. Her family faces the tough decision to take her off life support. Her husband, Jerry, was headmaster during most of my years at Lutheran High. Jerry was much more than a boss. When my wife, Barbara, went through cancer surgery it was Jerry Brunworth who sat with me and prayed. Barbara Brunworth's daughter, Liz, and her husband, Brad, were colleagues during my tenure at LHS. We remain close friends. As families, our lives have been connected in so many ways. I spent time with them on Friday. Despite the situation, they were confident and rational. There faith and hope in Christ were obvious. I know they will grieve, but ultimately they will be ok, because Barbara's eternal life is secure.
In John 16:33 Jesus tell us, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world." Crisis are a reality in this world. We are just the blink of an eye away from a tragedy. I still maintain, the strongest witness we can give as Christians is the way that we react to those crisis. In all things we must be people of hope. Now, before those difficult times strike, is the time to get yourself and your family prepared. The way to do that is to be in God's Word and to surround yourself with a community of faith. It's not a question of if, but rather when that tragedy is going to happen. Celebrate the present, but arm yourself for the future.
Crisis are a reality. As a write this I have friends who are dealing with the ultimate crisis: the immenent death of a family member. Barbara Brunworth had a serious heart attack last Wednesday night. She has never regained consciousness. Test show serious brain damage. Her family faces the tough decision to take her off life support. Her husband, Jerry, was headmaster during most of my years at Lutheran High. Jerry was much more than a boss. When my wife, Barbara, went through cancer surgery it was Jerry Brunworth who sat with me and prayed. Barbara Brunworth's daughter, Liz, and her husband, Brad, were colleagues during my tenure at LHS. We remain close friends. As families, our lives have been connected in so many ways. I spent time with them on Friday. Despite the situation, they were confident and rational. There faith and hope in Christ were obvious. I know they will grieve, but ultimately they will be ok, because Barbara's eternal life is secure.
In John 16:33 Jesus tell us, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world." Crisis are a reality in this world. We are just the blink of an eye away from a tragedy. I still maintain, the strongest witness we can give as Christians is the way that we react to those crisis. In all things we must be people of hope. Now, before those difficult times strike, is the time to get yourself and your family prepared. The way to do that is to be in God's Word and to surround yourself with a community of faith. It's not a question of if, but rather when that tragedy is going to happen. Celebrate the present, but arm yourself for the future.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Why Marriage? Because God Ordained It.
The cover of the current Time Magazine caught my attention the second I removed it from the mailbox. "Who Needs Marriage?," the editors of the popular news magazine asked. As someone who has been married to the same woman for over forty-one years, I was intrigued. I discovered the feature article focuses on a Time/Pew Research Center poll that relects our nation's ideas, expectations and realities of contemporary marriage. One obvious conclusion is, "We're more flexible about how the family is defined." The number of single parents, and unmarried couples raising children are proof of that.
A more defining issue for me is the way we view marriage. Consider the comments from Andrew Cherlin, sociologist at Johns Hopkins University: "Getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life." The Time article uses the engagement of Prince William, and recent marriage of Chelsea Clinton as examples, of couples who relect that. It's a reality that educated individuals are waiting longer to marry. Having an established career and being financial stable are viewed as being important. Those with only a high school education or less are much more likely to not view marriage as a prerequisite to starting a family.
It was an unrelated letter to the editor that appeared in the same issue that I feel identifies the root problem when it comes to marriage and other social issues. The letter was a reaction to an interview with physicist Stephen Hawking in which he made the statement that, "physics does not allow for the existence of God." "As I see it, the only handicap Hawking has is his ability to recognize a personal God who created the universe." note the author of the letter. The common factor is God's Word. It's the Bible that credits God as the creator of all things and as the one who ordained the union between male and female. Marriage, as defined by scripture, has two purposes: Companionship, "It is not good for a man to be along," )Genesis 2:18) and Procreation: "Be fruitful and mulitiply."(Genesis 1:22).
If the institution of marriage is to survive as God intended, it is our responsibility to defend and promote it as such. Our children need to be taught that marriage is part of God's plan. We need to remind those around us that God's plan for marriage is that it be the union of one male and one female. The only way that happens is if our kids are in God's Word, and that they see the same in us.
A more defining issue for me is the way we view marriage. Consider the comments from Andrew Cherlin, sociologist at Johns Hopkins University: "Getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life." The Time article uses the engagement of Prince William, and recent marriage of Chelsea Clinton as examples, of couples who relect that. It's a reality that educated individuals are waiting longer to marry. Having an established career and being financial stable are viewed as being important. Those with only a high school education or less are much more likely to not view marriage as a prerequisite to starting a family.
It was an unrelated letter to the editor that appeared in the same issue that I feel identifies the root problem when it comes to marriage and other social issues. The letter was a reaction to an interview with physicist Stephen Hawking in which he made the statement that, "physics does not allow for the existence of God." "As I see it, the only handicap Hawking has is his ability to recognize a personal God who created the universe." note the author of the letter. The common factor is God's Word. It's the Bible that credits God as the creator of all things and as the one who ordained the union between male and female. Marriage, as defined by scripture, has two purposes: Companionship, "It is not good for a man to be along," )Genesis 2:18) and Procreation: "Be fruitful and mulitiply."(Genesis 1:22).
If the institution of marriage is to survive as God intended, it is our responsibility to defend and promote it as such. Our children need to be taught that marriage is part of God's plan. We need to remind those around us that God's plan for marriage is that it be the union of one male and one female. The only way that happens is if our kids are in God's Word, and that they see the same in us.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Paying for What Should Come Naturally
A commercial that started playing on one of the radio stations I listen to last week caught my attention. It is for a service that parents can use to monitor their teens social networks activity. The radio spot features a mom who found out her son was depressed and considering taking his own life via the service. As the commercial begins an announcer informs the listener that it is based on a real life experience. My immediate response was that while this is a great service, why would a parent who is doing their job need it?
I could have provided them with plenty of real life experiences. During my years of working with teens I often found myself sitting down with parents to discuss information I had obtained about their teen. Sometimes it involved thoughts of suicide, other times it was evidence of their involvement in drugs or alcohol. Most of the time their reaction fell into one of two groups: Shock - "They are what?", or Denial - "No way, not my child. Both responses led me to believe they probably were clueless.
Here is a word of advice: As the parent of a contemporary teen nothing should surprise or shock you. Most teens, even good kids, will make some poor choices along the line. Even if they make good choices, they will be exposed to other kids who don't. As a result, we need to constantly monitor their behavior and be involved in their lives. That means having regular one-on-one time with them, and taking our turn in hosting them and their friends in our home. It also means monitoring their social network activity. Become part of their Facebook community and on a regular basis check their cell phone. Watch for those changes in behavior that indicate something is up.
The other step parents should be taking is to surround their teens with a support system of significant adults. Those individuals should share your value system. Coaches, church youth counselors and other adults who work with your teens all can provide another set of eyes and ears. Get to know them and make them aware that you appreciate them and value their concern for your child. In doing so, you are initiating a relationship that allows them to approach you should a concern arise.
Again, why waste money on something you should naturally be doing yourself.
I could have provided them with plenty of real life experiences. During my years of working with teens I often found myself sitting down with parents to discuss information I had obtained about their teen. Sometimes it involved thoughts of suicide, other times it was evidence of their involvement in drugs or alcohol. Most of the time their reaction fell into one of two groups: Shock - "They are what?", or Denial - "No way, not my child. Both responses led me to believe they probably were clueless.
Here is a word of advice: As the parent of a contemporary teen nothing should surprise or shock you. Most teens, even good kids, will make some poor choices along the line. Even if they make good choices, they will be exposed to other kids who don't. As a result, we need to constantly monitor their behavior and be involved in their lives. That means having regular one-on-one time with them, and taking our turn in hosting them and their friends in our home. It also means monitoring their social network activity. Become part of their Facebook community and on a regular basis check their cell phone. Watch for those changes in behavior that indicate something is up.
The other step parents should be taking is to surround their teens with a support system of significant adults. Those individuals should share your value system. Coaches, church youth counselors and other adults who work with your teens all can provide another set of eyes and ears. Get to know them and make them aware that you appreciate them and value their concern for your child. In doing so, you are initiating a relationship that allows them to approach you should a concern arise.
Again, why waste money on something you should naturally be doing yourself.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Kids and Caffeine
I passed by a local Starbucks one evening last week and noticed the teenagers present far outnumbered the adults. At first glance I thought it was pretty cool. Afterall, they were clustered in small groups and seemed to be working on school work together. But as I considered it further something bothered me. They all were drinking caffeinated drinks. Those of you who know me are probably thinking, "Physician heal thyself." I will admit that if you catch me before noon you will probably observe me with a cup of coffee in hand. No caffeine after noon, however. I know what it does to me sleep pattern.
That is my concern for today's teens who seem to have a predilection toward coffee and energy drinks. From my perspective, this is due in no small part to sleep deprivation. The average teenagers get about two hours less sleep a day than their body requires. Experts state that teens, because they are still growing and developing, need about nine and a half hour sleep a night. Studies tell us the average teen gets only about seven and a half hours sleep.
Sleep deprivation is a huge problem. We hear alot about teens drinking alcohol and then driving, but little about the acidents caused by drowsy driving. The reality is lack of sleep not only effects teens ability to drive, but also classroom performance. If you are around teens much you can probably guess another consequence, irritability.
As a parent you might consider helping your teen to discover ways to organize their life better so they get more sleep and rely less on caffeine to keep them going.
That is my concern for today's teens who seem to have a predilection toward coffee and energy drinks. From my perspective, this is due in no small part to sleep deprivation. The average teenagers get about two hours less sleep a day than their body requires. Experts state that teens, because they are still growing and developing, need about nine and a half hour sleep a night. Studies tell us the average teen gets only about seven and a half hours sleep.
Sleep deprivation is a huge problem. We hear alot about teens drinking alcohol and then driving, but little about the acidents caused by drowsy driving. The reality is lack of sleep not only effects teens ability to drive, but also classroom performance. If you are around teens much you can probably guess another consequence, irritability.
As a parent you might consider helping your teen to discover ways to organize their life better so they get more sleep and rely less on caffeine to keep them going.
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