What Does Black Friday say About Us.

I have survived another Black Friday by sitting on the sidelines.  I recall the experience of a friend my age last Thanksgiving.  His son and family were out of town, so grandpa had the assignment of going to the store to purchase the big screen TV at a discount price.  He was waiting outside the store in plenty of time, but he was not prepared for the terror he was about to face.   I could sense the fear in in his voice days later as he described the aggressive, borderline violent, behavior of the other shoppers.  I don't even recall if he achieved his goal of hauling home the TV.  I was just glad he survived to tell the story.

The whole Black Friday tradition disturbs me on multiple levels.  I don't like what it says about our consumer driven culture.  We seem to want more and more, while wanting to pay less and less.  Then there is the aggressive nature to which some of us will go to get what we want.  Finally there is what is required of the store employees who have to stock the shelves and man the registers for the Black Friday shoppers.  For many that means giving up Thanksgiving family time. Maybe we are just taking advantage of those at the bottom of the workforce.   I recently read report that pointed out the retail employees are among the lowest paid employees in the country.  They rank right along side fast food workers.   It is not surprising that some Walmart employees picked this weekend to protest the way they are being paid and treated.

Just when I had thought I had heard everything I didn't want to hear about Black Friday an other news story caught me ear.  One of the Dallas TV stations sent a reporter to cover the shoppers camped outside a Best Buy store in Plano, Texas.  It was two night before the doors would open for Thanksgiving night bargains.  The problem was the tents were empty.  Seems people had pitched their tents and then gone about their business.  They had staked their spots at the front of the line, leaving those who wanted to play by the rules behind.  Those individuals were angry, and planned to confront the absentee shoppers.  I have not heard anymore, so I can only hope things worked out.

I am left wondering what all this says about our culture and its value system.  What kind of message are we sending to the world, much less the children who observe our behavior.

My Favorite Holiday

This coming week we will celebrate our National Day of Thanksgiving.  I have come to appreciate Thanksgiving Day to the point that it has become my favorite holiday.  I know that we are Easter People.  From a spiritual perspective the annual celebration of our Lord's Resurrection trumps every other holiday.  Christmas is, well Christmas, but quite frankly the schedule can wear me out.  So much goes into the preparation that I end up tired, and then have to take down all the decorations.  How I enjoy Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is about family and food.  When it comes to things I am thankful for, those are at the top of the list.  I am very grateful to live in a country where I have all my needs met.  I daily recognize how blessed I am.  I am well fed, and live in a comfortable home.  I am relatively healthy and have more clothes than I need.  I am part of a great family and am surrounded by friends who love me and accept me for who I am.  I am among the most blessed.

My plans for this year include lots of family time.  I will be walking in the Annual Dallas Turkey Trot with our daughter, Katie, and her husband, John.  Sometime Thursday afternoon Peter and his family will come over.  We plan to watch the TCU-Texas Football game that evening.  Mark and Kristen will join the celebration on Friday and we will celebrate the traditional Thanksgiving feast together.  I am sure along the way we will play some games and probably have at least one game of touch football in the yard. 

I pray that you and yours will have a blessed Thanksgiving.  Along the way take time to share with your family members,especially the kids, how grateful you are.  Your attitude of thanksgiving is another message that needs to be past to the next generation.

The Affluenza Epidemic

The Ethan Couch case won't go away.  Those who live outside the DFW Metroplex might not be familiar with Ethan Couch, so let me fill in the blanks.  Ethan was sixteen years old when he killed four people.  An hour before the accident Ethan stole two cases of beer from a Walmart.  At the time of the crash he was driving his dad's Ford F350 pick-up with seven friends along for the ride.  His blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit when he plowed into a disabled vehicle on a dark two-lane road.  The driver of the disabled vehicle, along with three bystanders who had stopped to help, were all killed.  One of those murdered by Ethan Couch was youth minister, Brian Jennings, who was on his way home from his son's high school graduation. Ethan and all his companions survived even though none were wearing seat belts.

The story does not end there.  During the trial a psychologist, testifying for the defense, stated that Ethan Couch was a victim of "affluenza."  In other words, he had been raised in a wealthy environment that had blinded him to the consequence of his behavior.  So was born a new term.  Affluenza: The inability to understand the consequences of ones actions because of financial privilege.  Ethan Couch was found guilty, but was not sentenced to jail.  Instead he was sent to a rehab program.  The accident was over eighteen months ago, and Ethan Couch is still in rehab.   This week it was announced that he has been moved to a ranch for troubled youth in West Texas. 

It's ironic that I first heard the latest chapter of this story today while driving on the Dallas North Tollway.  I have often referred to this highway as the "BMW Freeway."  For the wealthy residents of Collin Country (Frisco and Plano), it is their link to the city.  Today it was not just "Beamers," but Jaguars, a Porsche and yes a Ferrari.  The speed limit on the DNT is 70 but all of the them were exceeding it by a least 15 MPH.  An old man like me, who drives the speed limit in the center lane, feels at risk.  I view it as another example of "Affluenza."  I don't think any of those drivers have given a thought to the consequence should something, or someone get in their way.  I've driven by the scene of a few of those crashes.  It's not pretty.

But then, I should know something about Affluenza.  I have been infected with it too.  While perhaps not to the extent of Ethan Couch, if we live a typical American middle or upper class lifestyle we probably daily make decisions without thinking of the consequences.  It might be a simple thing like using a Styrofoam cup instead of a mug that can he reused, or buying clothing made in a sweat shop in some Third World country. 

The truth is, "affluenza" is real and we need to think of the consequences.  The members of the millennial generation are watching us.  We might talk about their expensive taste or consumer driven lifestyle but the unfortunate truth is they learned it from us.  Maybe now is the time to begin to make some changes. It's not to late to stop the "Affluenza" epidemic.

The End of the Millennials

It is no secret that the church has missed the boat when it comes to reaching millennials.  A majority those born during the last two decades of the twentieth century view the Christian Church as being insensitive and judgmental.  In their mind the Christian community has become an irrelevant voice.  We can debate any of the above, but the reality is less than one in four young adults who grew up in the church is still activity engaged in a Christian community.  That does not mean they do not have a faith.  Many still pray and read the Bible.  A majority still believe in God and even claim Jesus as their Savior, they just don't see mainline Christianity as a way to live that out. 

While we should be attempting to win back those who have wandered off, I think our focus should be on making a difference in the lives of those still in our midst.  I am writing about the high school youth who are members of our churches.  The current flock of teens is the last of the millennials to pass through our doors.  If they are still visible in our community we still have a chance to make a difference.  Even if they are not as engaged as we would like, we still have the opportunity to reach out and make a difference.

It begins with relationships.  For decades the church has relied on youth ministry professionals to take the lead in that effort.  Congregations have hired a youth pastor, or director of Christian education to gather the kids together and keep them engaged.  The staff person who heads the youth ministry department would then train a select few other adult volunteers in mentoring the teens.  If the numbers looked good, the church leaders assumed they were doing a good job.  That model no longer works.  The reality is it never was biblical.  The responsibility for passing on the heritage of faith should be shared by the entire community. 

For the next four years I would encourage you to move out of your comfortable pew and into the lives of the teenagers in your midst.  Instead of gathering around the coffee pot on Sunday morning, you need to be in the youth room, or wherever it is the teens are gathered.  If you notice that a young person who was once visible suddenly has disappeared, ask questions.  Reach out to them.  Write them a note, friend them on Facebook or send them a text.  Let them know you care about them.  Most of all; share you faith story. 

Polishing the Good Apples

I just finished reading the cover article in the most recent Time Magazine.   The story, titled Rotten Apples, approaches the issue of how difficult it is to fire bad teachers.  Much of the article focused on the State of California where teachers can receive tenure after as little as two years of experience. Once that happens the unions and teacher association make it almost impossible to terminate them.

While we all have heard stories of incompetent educators, I like to focus on the millions of teachers who are dedicated to educating America's youth.  As a retired educator, albeit in the private sector, I will admit a bias, but I also can draw on current experience.  I teach in our local school district as part of the Student Advancement Leadership Initiative (SALI), a program of LINC North Texas. Every other Friday I spend the day at our neighborhood middle school working with 7th and 8th graders.  I also am part of the parent nights that LINC hosts in other middle schools around our district.  As a result I have opportunity not just to work with teachers but partner with them.  From my experience they are not only competent, but extremely dedicated.  They also do their jobs with a smile, showing real concern and compassion for their students.

Yesterday I had a conversation with an individual that reinforced my impression.  He was seated next to me on the parking shuttle from the TCU football game .  Traffic was terrible, so believe me we had time to talk.  He was a school administrator at a high school in another school district in the DFW area.  He was curious about the SALI program and I was interested in hearing about his experience.  His number one concern was keeping competent teachers happy and employed. Low pay was not as much an issue as staff moral.  In his opinion many teachers feel under-appreciated.  They also function in a culture that expresses little esteem for them as educators. Teaching is not viewed as the honorable profession it once was.

We all know teachers.  In some cases they are friends, in other cases they teach our children and grand children.  In all cases, they need our support and encouragement.  I would encourage you to go beyond just kind words.  Do something for them. Give them a Starbucks gift card or box of candy. Write a note of thanks.  I still have a box full of thank you notes from parents that I received during my classroom days.  They still make great reading when I need encouragement.

Don't focus on the bad teacher, rather work to affirm and nurture the good ones.

Ebola is not the Only Thing We Should be Fearing

Dallas is finally known for something other than the city where President Kennedy was shot.  Thousands of people still venture downtown and gawk at the grassy knoll.  They tour the Six Floor Museum and, when traffic clears, have their pictures taken standing next to the "X" on Elm Street.  Now the focus is on Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital.  People want to know more about the hospital where the Ebola Virus first was discovered in America.  Dallas is now famous as the City that brought Ebola to the United States.  I am just back from ten days on the road.  When people found out I was from Dallas their first question was often about Ebola.  The whole country seems to be in an uproar over the Ebola Virus.  It is the number one story on the news.  I don't think I have experienced this kind of national panic since 9/11.  The fear following 9/11 I could understand, but fear of Ebola is another issue.

Here is my take: What are we afraid of?   Ebola is not an airborne virus.  Unless you have direct contact with a patient who actively has the virus there is no danger.  You are only exposed if have contact with the victim's body fluids.  I will give Dallas Mayor, Mike Rawlings, and County Judge, Clay Jenkins, credit.  They personally entered the apartment where the initial victim had been living in order to escort his family to a safe environment.  The two official were not wearing protect gear.  They walked in, greeted the family and left.  Mr. Jenkins even drove them to their new residence in his own car.  Both Mr. Rawlings and Mr. Jenkins get it.  There is no danger unless you touch the individual who has Ebola. 

I am familiar with infectious diseases and viruses.  I am in hospitals all the time.  I work two days a week as a hospital chaplain.  The hospitals I work with are long-term acute care facilities.  Many of the patients I see are on long-term antibiotics for various infections.  I have visited with patients who have MRSA and the West Nile Virus.  I also have learned to play by the rules.  I sanitize my hands before entering and when leaving any room.  When there is a sign on the door indicating isolation, I don a mask, and wear gloves and a gown.  I am not afraid!.  People need ministry and I go.  The health care professionals I work with, especially the nurses, therapists and aids, are my heroes.  They work daily in that environment, but do their jobs with no fear about what they are exposed to.  To my knowledge none of them has ever been infected. 

It's ironic that there is such an uproar over the Ebola virus.  Granted, it is a deadly virus and needs to be taken seriously, but the general public has no reason to fear.  It's sad that there is another virus that is infecting our country that no one seems to be concerned about.  It's sin!  We are all effected by the virus.   Many people will not even admit that they have it.  They are going to die in sin, and few of them seem to be concerned.  Unlike the Ebola Virus, where there is an antidote,   We can insure that people are protected from the disease of sin.  The answer is Jesus Christ and his message of Grace and Forgiveness.  If we live fearlessly as people of hope, we can make a difference.  We can tell the world that there is nothing to fear.  We are all going to die sooner or later, but that is not the end.    Spread the word.  Be people of hope and pass the torch. 

Bullying: Even You Can Do Something

I wonder whatever happened to Robbie Garrett (not his real name).  Robbie was in my physical education class freshman year in high school.  I didn't know Robbie very well because PE was the only class we had together.  I probably wouldn't still be thinking about Robbie except I have always felt sorry for him.  Robbie was bullied.  He had a nick name that I really cannot share.  Let's just say his anatomy had an unusual feature, and that is not something you want exposed in a boy's locker room. Not only was Robbie subject to verbal abuse, but physical abuse as well.  Towel snaps: need I say more.  I didn't take part, but like most observers of bullying I did not  intervene.  As is usually the case, I was just grateful it wasn't me, after all I had feet that looked like surfboards
9th Grade males can be brutal.  Robbie Garrett did not come back for sophomore year.  I don't know why, but it  it had been me, I wouldn't have wanted to return to that environment.  As far as I know Robbie was a good kid.

Why after all these years am I writing about Robbie Garrett?  I just finished reading a chapter on bullying in Danah Boyd's new book, It's Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens. Today's social media allows bullies to take their harassment to a whole new level.  With cyber-bullying there is no escaping, even when you away from school. Boyd's book defines bullying, "as a practice in which someone of differential physical or social power subjects another person to repeated psychological, physical , or social aggression." That matches the case of bullying I witnessed years ago and also saw during my years working with teens.  It usually involves a big kid, or kids, repeatedly physically tormenting a little kid or a popular teen repeatedly spreading nasty rumors about an outcast.  Back in those days we thought of it as teasing, but by any name it is wrong.

I am sharing my experience with bullying because I want to encourage you to share yours.   Maybe you were a victim, or perhaps just an observer.  Your story needs to be shared with the young people in your life.  While they might not be the kind of student who intentionally picks on another student, it's a pretty good bet they've observed it or maybe been a victim.  Either way, the worst thing to do is nothing because that is what give the bullies there power.