Christmas 24/7/365

Just in time for Christmas, Pew Research released a report that reveals a lot about the way our contemporary culture views Christmas.  Not surprising, the spiritual focus is on the decline.  The survey was done in early December of this year.  Just over two thousand adults, ages eighteen and over, were polled. Among those surveyed, just over half (51%), viewed Christmas as a religious holiday.  About one-third (32%) celebrate Christmas, but view it as a cultural celebration.  Not surprising, fewer Americans are attending worship as part of their celebration of Christmas. 54% said they planned to attend a Christmas worship service, that compares with 69% who noted they had attended Christmas worship in the past.  Even in Dallas, considered to be one of the most "Christian" cities in the country, I noticed a more generic, politically correct observance.  "Happy Holidays" has replaced "Merry Christmas."

As I was out and about today, I was typically greeted with a "Happy Year."  When I responded with a "Merry Christmas" it was often greeted by a somewhat puzzled look.  I am determined to continue to observe the Twelve Days of Christmas, however.  Our outside decorations will stay lit until Epiphany, January 6.  Our tree won't come down until January 7.

We need to do more than just observe the Twelve Days of Christmas, however.  It's not even enough to remind people that "Jesus is the Reason for the Season."  Christmas is all about God bursting into this world in a miraculous way.  It's about God bridging the void between Himself and humanity.  It's about a Savior who not only brought peace, but grace and the forgiveness of sins.  Ultimately it about a Savior that brings hope for eternal life.  That is Good News that needs to be shared in words and deeds 365 days a year.  If we expect the world to join us in the celebration of Jesus' birth, we need to live as His disciples.  May the Spirit of Christmas dwell in your hearts and lives every day.  When the world sees that; maybe they will be more inclined to join us as we celebrate his birthday.

Christmas: The Real Father's Day

The following is one of the prayers that was included in my book, Real Men Pray, which was published in 1996.  It is my prayer again this Christmas.

This is Your day, Father.
Easter belongs to Jesus and His victory over death,
but Christmas belongs to You.

I can't imagine the struggle You must have gone through.
You allowed Your Son to become a human being
and not only face the humiliation of human life,
but even death itself.
And Jesus did it for the sake of all people, many of whom couldn't care less.

Sometimes this fact restrains my Christmas celebration.
All the world appears joyful as,
"Peace on Earth" becomes the cliche' of the day.
Everyone become religious as they celebrate the birth of a Child
they personally do not know.

Father, others might struggle to understand my melancholy attitude.
But as a father, I reflect on your cost.
I pray that You would make me a disciple
worthy of the price You and Jesus paid.
As a sinner, I know I can never measure up.
And as a redeemed saint, I know I can never stop trying.

Father, thanks for Christmas and the new life
You have given me.  Amen.

A Lesson from the Life of Ethan Couch

There has been a huge outcry in the Dallas-Fort Worth community over the last forty-eight hours as a result of a judge's decision to give a young man probation rather than jail time.  The young man is sixteen year old Ethan Couch who was  involved in an accident that killed four innocent people.  Ethan's blood alcohol level was four time the legal limit when he drove his pick-up, its bed filled with other drunken teens, into a disabled vehicle.  Killed in the accident were the driver of the disabled vehicle, and three good Samaritans.  One of those killed was youth pastor, Brian Jennings, who was on the way home from his own son's high school graduation.  Ethan Couch's truck was traveling at 70 miles per hour in a 40 MPH zone.  Officers who investigated the accident stated it was the most violent crash they had ever seen.

During the trial, Ethan's defense team based their case on the fact that he was the victim of a dysfunctional and abusive family.  Witnesses testified that his parents were irresponsible.  As a result Ethan was allowed to do whatever he wanted.  Basically, he was out of control.  The judge in the case, Jean Boyd, must have bought their case because Ethan is no longer allowed to see his parents.  He is being sent to a recovery program in California.  He will be under court supervision for an additional nine years once he returns to Texas.  He is to have no contact with his mom and dad. 

The families of the victims are understandably outraged.  They feel that justice was not served.  The Sheriff of Tarrant Count, where the accident took place, wanted Ethan Couch to serve as an example.  With no tangible punishment, it seems to give other teens the license to live recklessly.  It's unfortunate that the one person involved in this crime is not able to respond.  That would be youth pastor, Brian Jennings.  Brian had invested his life in working with teens, I am confident some of whom were troubled.  If you work with kids long enough, they will break your heart.  I have to wonder if Brian Jennings had been the judge in this case the results might not have been any different. 

I don't know what happened behind closed doors.  What exactly was said between the Judge Boyd and young Ethan?  Somewhere there must have been some indication that Ethan needed a second chance; that sending him to prison would have served no purpose.  At age sixteen he deserved a "do over," this time with responsible adults in his life.  I know that is a hard pill to swallow, especially for those who are grieving the deaths of those who were victims to Ethan's recklessness.  In reality, we all need second chances.  And we have a God who offers that.  I can only pray that somewhere in the process of rebuilding his life, Ethan can come to know that God, and Son, Jesus, who is a forgiving and second-change kind of Savior.

Reflections on the Legacy of Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela died last week.  While I am not much of a student when it comes to world news, there are certain individuals who because of their leadership and character have left an impression on me.  Nelson Mandela is on that short list.  I recall reading about the injustice of apartheid in the book Cry the Beloved Country.  Nelson Mandela took the lead when it came to ending the oppression that served as the backdrop for that story.  He was arrested and imprisoned because of his resistance to apartheid.  After twenty-seven years in prison, through is will and determination, the battle was won.  One image that is etched in my memory is the walk as he left prison.  Throngs of his supporters lined the road to cheer him on, but he walked humbly.  Two of my favorite quotes came from that chapter of Nelson Mandela's story.  In responding to how he could forgive those who had imprisoned him he commented, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”  Another time he noted, "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies."  It is no wonder that an entire country, including those who opposed him, learned to respect him and elected him their leader.

While I have never experienced injustice to the same degree as Nelson Mandela, there have been times when I have been a victim.  I recall one time years ago when I was publicly attacked and falsely accused.  While I didn't handle that incident with anything close to the dignity and humility of Nelson Mandela, I came away ready to forgive those who had slandered me.  In time, one of those involved in the trying to have me removed from my position at the church became a friend.   Unfortunately, two of the families involved left the church.  I never had the opportunity to settle accounts with them.  In my heart I have forgiven them and moved on.  Yes: resentment over past injustices can become a deadly poison. 

Hardly a month goes by without some news story featuring the family of a victim.  Often the quotes reflect anger; "I hope he rots in prisons."  "I can never forgive her for what she has done to our family."  Nothing is gained when we do not forgive those who have wronged us.  In his book, Forgive and Forget, Lewis Smedes encourages readers to even forgive those who have no regard for us. 

Nelson Mandela should serve as a model for all of us, especially those of us who are trying to relate to teens and young adults.  Like all of us, they tend to make mistakes.  Sometimes, in the process, they offend and hurt us.  We need to forgive and always keep the door open.  Without forgiveness there will never be reconciliation.  Without reconciliation we will have no opportunity to pass the torch of faith and values. 


 
 

The Holidays: A Family Faith Dilemma

Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday seasons.  Like many families, we were gathered around the table for the celebration.  Our family is probably not typical in that all our children are involved in full-time ministry.  Their spouses are also active in their churches, using their gifts where appropriate.  I am well aware of the fact that in many families, adult children not only are not involved in church, but have no desire to affiliate with a faith community.  In some case adult children are even antagonistic toward organized religion. 

When families are together it's easy to use the situation to get across the point that we are disappointed that our children have turned their back on their faith.  In many cases our children grew up in the church, attending Sunday school and confirming their faith in their early teens.  Perhaps they were involved in youth ministry and even went on mission trips or helped with vacation Bible school.  Something happened somewhere along the line that caused them to add the church to the list of things that were not relevant to their lives.  In such cases we might be moved to use the holiday gathering to deliver a message conveying our disappointment.  Warning; here are some things we might not want to say:

"I sure wish you would go back to church."

"Are you ever going to get your children baptized?"

"We will be going to church Christmas Eve.  You can meet us there... if you can remember the way."


The best way to approach the situation is to continue to be people of hope.  Share your faith through your actions, not your words.  And, unconditional love should rule the day.  No matter what happens, your children are still your children.  Love them for you they are, not who you  would like them to be.  Continue to pray for them, and ask the Holy Spirit to touch their lives. 

Taking the Defense of Creationism Seriously

Yesterday the Texas State Board of Education members adopted new high school science textbooks.  The new texts includes full coverage of evolution without the disclaimers that religious conservatives and critics of Darwin's theory had sought.  Frankly, I am not surprised by the decision.  It is just another example of a shift toward a more secular culture.  A few years ago I had the opportunity to hear creationist Dr. Kenneth Ham.  He might be the first speaker at a Lutheran educators conference that travels with a personal bodyguard, a result of numerous death threats.  Yes, it is a cultural war that is being waged. 

It's a reality that many teenagers who have grown up in the church are forsaking the faith many of their ancestors have held so precious.  While there has always been some attrition during the college years, experts like Dr. Ham are quick to point out that now faith is being challenged during the high school years.  Often the crucible is evolution.  Students are being taught a theory that runs counter to the stories they were taught in Sunday school, and unfortunately they often do not have the resources to process the information.  Perhaps that is the problem: We teach stories while the world teaches theories.  Theories are generally tested propositions that can be used as principles to explain or predict.  Hence, the theory of evolution contains principles that purportedly explain the origin of all living species, including mankind. Unfortunately, all to often we teach our children using picture books and when the moving on to the Genesis account.  In this day and age that is not sufficient.  It's not enough to simply teach that, "God created the heavens and the earth."  Creation theory must also be taught. Our students must also be taught how to process information and defend their faith. 

The secularization of our culture is a reality.  It is no longer enough to just teach our children doctrine.  The future of the church hinges on our ability to equip them to defend that faith as well.

Reflections on the Assassination of JFK, Part 2

In many ways the 50's and early 60's were my age of innocence.  Granted, there were bullies at school and we lived in a small house that never seemed to have enough bedrooms, but overall I had very few cares.  I was aware of the Cold War and the Soviet menace but it didn't seem to really effect me.  I recall having air-raid drills at school in the early 50's but after the Korean War they suddenly came to an end.  Probably just as well: I could never understand how crawling under my desk with my head covered was going to protect me should someone decide to bomb Detroit.  Part of the sense of security was probably due to the fact that we had a president who seemed to be more of a national grandfather.  President Eisenhower was a World War II hero.  Like an aging relative: he had health issues.  I remember being told a couple of time to pray for him because he had suffered a heart attack.  

I recall the controversy that evolved around President Kennedy's election.  Our nation had never had a Catholic president before and some conservatives warned that in times of crisis he might be more inclined to listen to the Pope than his advisers.  After having had nothing but aging leaders, I found President Kennedy was a breath of fresh air.  He was someone I could identify with.  He was young and had a family.  I remember being told by a teacher that JFK was proof that our country was ready for the kind of change youthful leadership would bring.  Even the Cuban Missile Crisis could not dull that.  Our dynamic young leader stood toe-to-toe with the Russian President, Nikita Khrushchev, and the Soviet leader blinked.  Our Camelot was secure, at least for another year.

Camelot ended on November 22, 1963.  The age of innocence was replaced by turmoil, uncertainty and violence.  We were vulnerable as a nation.  Within a short time we mourned the death of two more national leaders, Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy.  We also faced the reality of the Viet Nam War, a conflict that hit close to home since I was of draft age.  The peace of the 50's was replaced by violence in the street.  My hometown of Detroit suffered the most from these conflicts and has never recovered.  During the political conventions of 1968 I witnessed, via television, protesters my age being beaten in the streets of Chicago.  Then came the drug culture, another dose of the reality that we live in an imperfect world.  Even music was different after the tragic events of 11/22/63.  The Beatles arrived a few months later, followed by the protest songs, featuring singers like Bob Dylan and Barry McGuire. 

Through it all I continued to ponder the thought my dad had spoken the afternoon of the assassination.  People turn to the church during times of crisis.  Over the years my faith has gotten me through all the changes and transitions.  I've come through personal crisis, like my wife's breast cancer and the sudden loss of my job.  We have also weathered national crisis like 9/11.  My hope remains in an Eternal Kingdom rather than an earthly Camelot.

Reflecting on the JFK Assassination

As I write this, our nation is preparing to commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of the assassination of President Kennedy.  Since we now live in the Dallas area, that historic event is in the news on a daily basis.  I often drive down Houston Street past the former Book Depository Building, which now holds the JFK Museum.  I can't see the grassy knoll and not think about the events that took place there.  There is a mark in the street at the spot where the presidential limousine was at the time the shot was fired. 

I was a senior in high school on November 22, 1963.  It was the seventh period and I was in a study hall in the school library.  Miss Belk, our school counselor, came in and made the announcement.  "The President is dead."  My first memory is of how quiet the school hallway was as we went to clean out our lockers and head home for the weekend.  After school activities were cancelled, so a couple of my friends asked if they could have rides home.  A second impression is how different everything felt as we moved through the street.  On some street corners people just stood stunned. 

When I arrived home my dad was waiting in the driveway.  His office had closed early and he had taken the bus home.  His first words to me, "Church will be full on Sunday."  I must have had a puzzled look.  My dad had lived through World War II and knew that in a time of national crisis people turned to their faith. 

I was a paperboy during my high school days.  I delivered the morning paper, The Detroit Free Press.  I woke up at five every morning and delivered over one hundred and fifty papers.  The morning of November 23, 1963 is etched in my mind, for a number of reasons.  I was still in shock, and on top of that the weather was eerie.   Heavy storms had moved through the previous evening and the streets were littered with tree limbs and other debris.  The clouds were heavy and ominous, almost like in a Hitchcock movie.  In addition to my normal papers, an additional fifty copies of the morning edition had been left at our doorstep, with a note that I was to sell them on a street corner after I had completed my route.  Within fifteen minutes of arriving at the corner of East Warren and Outer Drive, the papers were gone.

Our family stayed glued to the television over the next three days.  It was like Walter Cronkite became part of our family.  Along with the rest of the nation, we mourned.  My parents were not democrats, but that did not stop us from grieving, especially as we saw the Presidents children.  Even my favorite radio station, WXYZ, played somber music rather than the usual top forty hits.  My father was correct: the church  was full on Sunday.  I can still picture chairs lining the aisle and in the narthex. 

If you lived through the events of 11/22/63, I am sure you too have memories.  I sincerely believe that it is important to share them with those who were not alive at that pivotal moment in our nations history.  In my blog next week I will share why that event was pivotal for me and why I think it was a turning point for our nation as well.

Passing the torch does not just mean the legacy of faith, but our national heritage as well.

Reformation 2013

Yesterday was Reformation Day.  While the rest of the world celebrated Halloween, I reflected on the legacy of Martin Luther and his impact on both the church and my personal faith.  I have always thought of reform as an ongoing process.   Reforming the 16th Century church was an overwhelming challenge.  Over centuries the church had become stagnant and lost focus.    It took ninety-five thesis for Luther to identify the issues that he wished to debate.  Today I would like to offer five issues that I would like to see addressed as we strive to reform today's church and to more effectively minister to a contemporary culture.

Loving people where they are at, and not where we want them to be.  Jesus loved people where they were, and tried to lovingly move them to where He wanted them to be.  Take Nicodemus for example.  In John 3 Jesus accepts Nicodemus for who he is, a Pharisee.  He gently directs the conversation to the point where Nicodemus begins to consider Jesus' perspective.  In the end Nicodemus becomes an advocate for Jesus (John 7:50-52) and a follower (John 19:39).  We can never make a difference in the lives of others if we don't have a relationship with them.  Consider how different things would have turned out if Jesus said, "You are a Pharisee and I don't want to talk to someone like you."

Questions are OK: The church has gained a reputation as not being a place where you can ask questions concerning moral or ethical issues.  Teens and young adult especially avoid asking question within a Christian setting, because they don't want to be labeled.  We need to have a format where the issues of the day can be discussed.  While we need to teach our children and youth God's plan and His desires for his people, we must also equip them to defend those beliefs.  That happens through discussion.

Recognizing that Faith is Personal: The relationship that an individual has with God is very personal.  The important thing is that such a relationship exists.  We cannot expect every person to share the same traditions and practices that we do.  The only imperative is that an individual recognizes Jesus Christ as their Savior and the only way to salvation. 

Substance is more important than style: Twenty-five years ago David Luecke wrote the book Evangelical Style and Lutheran Substance.  It was the first time I was challenged to think outside of my Lutheran context.  I have come to realize it is theology that makes me a Lutheran Christian.  The style of worship and the context might change but the basic truth that Jesus Christ died for my sins remains the same.  I am still renewed daily by the waters of Baptism and through His body and blood. 

Less generational ministry: As one who spent his career working with teens and young adults, this is a tough one to swallow.  I have come to realize that compartmentalizing people into age appropriate ministry might not be the most effective way to nurture faith.  We need to find a way to merge older adults into youth ministry.  We need to be nurturing and supporting families, equipping parents to do what God intended them to do, teach their children the faith.  Cross-generational ministry is the future of the church.

I continue to pray for the daily renewal of our church.  I have no reason not to be optimistic.  God is good.

I Guess I Just Got with the Program

Earlier this year I had the honor of being involved in the ordination of my good friend, Doug Widger.  If your not familiar with that rite, at one point other ministers present have the opportunity to lay hands on the new pastor and share an appropriate scripture.  As I stood waiting my turn I noticed that I was the only one holding a Bible.  The others were using various electronic devices to reference their verses.  Some had smart phones, others were using a tablet, I-pad or electronic reader. If I needed a nudge to get with the program, God provided it.  My Bible slipped from my hands and landed on the communion rail.  At that point I vowed to join the electronic revolution. I soon added a scripture app to my I-phone.  I also have a Bible available on my Kindle.  I still marvel at the convenience.  I no longer carry a Bible when I make my chaplain rounds.  I just pull up an appropriate verse on my smart phone.  Nobody has complained. I still believe it is God's inspired Word, even if the format has changed.  During Bible study I continue to use my trusted Thompson's Chain Reference NIV Bible, but I also use my phone to pull up other translations and paraphrases.  By the way, my Bible app also has two commentaries and a Bible dictionary.  Talk about convenience.

Evidently, I am not alone.  A report I read last week from The Barna Group indicated that over 70% of practicing Christians now read the Bible electronically.  Obviously, millennials are leading the way.  Even 35% of non-believing young adults read the Bible and seek information on spiritual issues electronically.  Amazing the transition in such a short period of time.  I will admit that initially I felt a little outside of my comfort zone, but I've gotten over it.  By the way, times have changed in other ways.  I wrote the first draft of this blog on my laptop, while awaiting my flight at DFW Airport.  Even more amazing: I am posting while working at a Starbucks a thousand miles away from home in suburban Detroit.  I could not have done that twenty years ago.

At times it is difficult for me as an adult to adjust to the pace of this modern electronic world, but then I think of what an wonderful gift it is.  We are not only able to read the Bible in various ways, but also share the Gospel message via social media.  Just think what Jesus could have done had he come in such a time as this.  No wait: He put us in this world to do it for Him.

Forgiving the Sins of our Youth, and Theirs

I made some pretty poor choices during my high school and college days.  I don't plan on ever running for public office because, I don't want people checking into my past.  It's probably a good thing I live in Texas, a thousand miles away from where I grew up.  As far as I know, there are no witnesses to my to my teenage indiscretions in the general vicinity.  Somewhere there are people who could provide some pretty sordid details.  I have always felt it was some of those poor decisions and the consequences that have helped me identify with teens.  My goal always has been to help kids make smart choices. 

I thought about the sins of my youth last week when I read about Christy Deweese.  Christy is the Dallas teacher who's job is in jeopardy because of a choice she made during her college years.  Christy worked part-time as a model.  In that role she  was selected as Co-Ed of the Month by Playboy Magazine.  She earned her degree and now is a Spanish teacher at Townview Middle School.  When her Playboy spread became public, some called for her firing.  Parents and students alike are coming to her defense saying she is a good teacher who cares about her students.  Those calling for her firing point to the fact that the students have found pictures of Ms. Deweese on the Internet.  You can imagine that they are the topic of conversation among the students, especially the boys. 

OK, I would feel a little uncomfortable if one of her students was my son or grandson.  I would prefer they learn Spanish and not human anatomy from her. Still, if she is a competent teacher I think we need to view this as a teachable moment for everyone involved.  It's an opportunity to talk about how our decisions have consequences.  It also should cause us to reflect on how we practice grace and forgiveness in our lives.   I am not sure of the level of contrition when it comes to Christy Deweese, but I am aware of countless people who cross my path everyday who carry the burden of past mistakes.  They continue to be haunted by the memories of past decisions and their negative consequences.  My calling is to help them learn from their past, to heal and move forward.  The past determines where we are today, but has no bearing on where the future might take them. 

Millennials Show Little Interest in the News

It was a casual comment, but I  soon realized the young cashier had no idea what I was talking about.  She was clueless to what was happening in the news.  I had little cash in my wallet and had handed her my credit card to pay for a relatively small purchase.  I made a remark about promising not to run up a credit card debt.  "I don't want to end up a trillion dollars in debt like the government," I continued.  She seemed puzzled.  "That is part of the reason the government is shutdown.  It's not only about Obama Care," I continued.  It was then I realize, she really was out of touch with what was going in the world outside her little sphere.  Our national debt and the affordable health care act were not even on her radar.

She is part of a generation that pretty much ignores the news.  Most millennials don't read newspapers.  They don't watch the news on TV either.  Diane Sawyer?  Scott Pelley?  Wolf Blitzer could be an outside linebacker in the NFL for all they know (that would be a pretty cool name for a sack leader).  Those under the age of thirty tend to be a rather self-absorb generation.  Unless the events of the world knock on their door, they hardly notice.  In the midst of a government shutdown and budget crisis, life goes on inside their personal bubble. 

Before writing this article I visited mashable.com, one of the more popular websites frequented by teens and young adults.  The website offers an overview of culture and the news from a millennial perspective.  There was no mention of the governmental shutdown on the homepage.  I found "nation and world" on the menu and clicked it.  The lead news story was on the FBI bust of the Silk Road online drug marketplace.  Then I found it, a secondary story on how "The Shutdown Won't Stop NASA's Curiosity Rover."  That was it.

I grew up reading the newspaper and watching television news.  Walter Cronkite was one of my heroes.  While in high school I got up at 5:00 AM every morning to deliver the Detroit Free Press.  I still read two newspapers each day.  I have several other national dailies delivered to my i-phone.  I usually glance at those to gain additional insights. 

It does bother me that we have a younger generation that seems to be disinterested when it comes to matter outside their personal world.  I have decided that the best way to counteract their lack of interest is to be a more responsible citizen myself.  When the opportunity arise, I will engage others in a conversation of the topics of the day.  My hope is that somewhere along the line some young folks will join in, or at least realize that what happens outside their little world does effect them and the rest of us.

We Need to be the Reason Millenials Stay with the Church

I am wondering if millennials are getting a bum rap when it comes to their association with mainline churches.  A recent article published by the Barna Group revealed that it isn't just young adults who are avoiding God's house on Sunday mornings.  Nation-wide, 47% of American adults reported that they had not attended church in the last six month.  That compares with 52% of millennials who gave the same response: that's only a 5% difference.  In light of that, I can conclude that it is not just those who are under the age of 30 who are turning their back on the church.

The folks at Barna also provided some insights into why some young folks are staying connected to the church.  When it came to why they attend church, the number one reason was they had close friends (59%), followed "gaining an understanding of my purpose for a life in Christ."  In other words the reason millennials stay committed to a worship community is relationships and personal relevance.

When I read the Barna report, I immediately thought of a conversation that I had with a father sometime back.  It was one of those casual chats that I occasionally have in Starbucks.  In this case I was working on my laptop, but I had my Bible open next to it.  I have found that an open Bible is can be a great prompt.  This dad asked what I was reading, we began a chat.  He was concerned about his daughter and appreciated my passion for reaching out to millennials.  His daughter had graduated from a college and moved to a major city in the Midwest,  She was a creative illustrator and dad was proud of her work (he showed me samples on his phone).  His daughter had been into the Goth culture in high school and had several body piercings.  During college time she added a couple of tattoos.  Dad did not always approve, but in his words, "You love them for who they are."  The daughter had grown up in the church and according to dad was even active in a Christian organization in college, but now she was not attending church.  She can't find a church where she is comfortable.  There was a pregnant pause in our conversation.  "Can I be honest?" dad asked.  I nodded.  My daughter values traditional worship, but when she shows up the members ignore her. 

His story is all to familiar.  Lets face it.  Most of us "over fifty Christians" enjoy our worship communities.  We look forward to the Sunday morning experience.  Part of that experience is the fellowship time.  I am probably like you in that I enjoy checking in with friends that I typically only see on Sunday mornings.  Don't confuse the issue by asking me to have a conversation with someone who is different.  But that is what Jesus called us to do.  Jesus welcomed all people, and he always accepted them for who they were, not who he wanted them to be.  When we welcome millenials into our worship community we are opening the door to a possible relationships.  When that happens, we need to be ready to take on the tough issues of the day with an open mind, and then an open Bible. 

We might have the opinion that young people only want to relate to people their age.  The reality is they see value in experience and desire relationships with folks of all ages.  The vital things is that people be open to sharing their insights.  An integral part of that sharing is our relationship with Jesus Christ. and insights into our personal walk of discipleship. 

Grandparents Behaving Badly

I normally try to avoid personal pet peeves on my blogs, but an incident last Friday compels me to change my policy, at least for the moment.  The pet peeve is people who don't use crosswalks.  In this case it was a woman with three small children, including a baby in her arms.  I can still see the fear in the eyes of the little boy, probably four or five years old.  There he was on an island, as a few inches away cars whizzed past at 45 mph.   Rather than walk the twenty steps to the intersection, the woman chose to cross the street in front of a McDonald's.  This was no young mom, but rather a grandmother... someone who should have known better.  Evidently grandma had not read the article in the paper two days prior.  Another grandmother, along with her two grandchildren, had been seriously injured.  They too had tried to cross the street against traffic.

They are called crosswalks for a reason.  They are provided so that there is a safe place for people to cross busy streets.  Most municipalities have even provided signals that tells us when it is safe and when it is not.  Many now even have a system that indicates the time left until the light turns green and it is no longer safe.  In fact, it's against the law to ignore the signs and cross a street against the light.  It's called jaywalking, and unfortunately it is seldom enforced.  I shudder when I see children involved in at risk behavior.   It's particularly troubling when it is an adult who has made the decision that puts them in the line of fire.

As parents and grandparents we have a responsibility to make sure our children are safe and secure.  I also believe we have an obligation to avoid behaviors that set a poor example.  I view the excessive use of alcohol or the use of tobacco products as behavior that should be avoided when children are present.  Cabinets containing dangerous items should be locked and sharp objects out of sight.  In the same way, we should model positive and God-pleasing behavior in our language, including the things we say about other people.  We also need to be driving within the speed limit and... using crosswalks.

Parenting and grandparenting not only carries with them the responsibility to pass on the heritage of faith and values, but to model behavior that promote safety, good health  and proper citizenship,

Reflecting on 9/11

Like most American, I can tell you exactly what I was doing and feeling on September 11, 2001.  My personal world had been rocked the previous afternoon when we had received the word that my wife, Barb, had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  Still, life had to go on.  The next morning I was back in the office serving as school counselor at Lutheran High School of Dallas.  The first item on my agenda was to meet with three students who had skipped school the previous day.  They had driven to Arkansas to pick up a friend who had had second thoughts after running away from home.  I had checked out their story, and while I appreciated their dedication to their friend, I was trying to help them work through the decision making process: two of them were on academic probation and could not afford to have missed a day of class.  Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by the principal, Pat Klekamp.  "I need you now," she exclaimed.  I knew immediately that something was seriously wrong.  Pat always respected my privacy when dealing with students.  She also always knocked before entering my space. 

I followed Pat to her office, asking the school secretary to tend to the students I had left behind.  Pat clued me in on the news.  The students were becoming aware, as more of the teachers turned on the televisions in their rooms.  "We need to do something to reassure them," Pat noted.  We immediately decided to use the customary religion period after second hour as a time for sharing words of assurance and for prayer.  I was given the task of pulling something together.

Less than an hour later I stood in front of the assembled student body.  The mood was somber, I still recall how the kids silently entered the room.  By this time both towers had fallen and it was obvious the death toll would be high.  There was no doubt that our nation was under attack.  There were rumors that the next city to be attacked was Dallas.  It had become personal to at least two students who had relatives who were in New York City, one of whom was scheduled to be in one of the towers. The first scripture that I shared with the students and faculty was Psalm 121:1, "I looked to the hills.  Where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord."  

I continue to share that same verse with patients as I make my rounds as a hospital chaplain.  Though our earth might be rocked... our souls are secure.  The same Lord who watched over the Children of Israel watches over us.  The Savior who strengthened the disciples and the other New Testament believers, gives us the power to stand against Satan's attacks today.  We are going to be OK. We should  never forget the events of 9/11 and the victims of that attack.  We also should never forget our Savior, Jesus, who insures that their future and ours is secure.

Keeping the Door Open for Seekers

An article on www.CNN.com this week started me thinking about the way we reach out to seekers; those who don't openly confess Jesus as Savior but are willing to listening to the message.  Seekers tend to connect with the church through questioning.  They often don't connect with God through traditional faith patterns.  When they pray, it's more with hope than it is confidence. The article that perked my interest was titled Six Types of Atheist and the author was Dan Merica.  While I never considered seekers to be atheist, one of the groups was seeking agnostics.   In the opinion of the author, seeking Agnostics are unsure about God but open minded.  In many cases they have been brought up by Christian parents and often they have even confessed that faith publicly. 

The seeds of doubt and skepticism that grow into atheism are sown and take root during the teen years.  It could be their exposure to the theory of evolution.  It might be because they see the church as being hypocritical.  They might see the church as irrelevant to their world.  The unfortunate reality is they perceive the church as not being a place where you can discuss these issues.  If you express any doubt or skepticism you are labeled.  When the tough questions are asked, instead of answers the response is usually you need to have more faith.

Unfortunately the climate within many faith communities does not encourage engagement with those who are young and seeking.  We often look with disdain on those who young.  They dress and look differently.  Tattoos? Body piercings?  Purple hair?  That's not our style.  We not only don't feel comfortable but we don't like it.  In such cases our personal bias can become the barrier that does not allow us to engage them in conversation, much less to talk about the issues. 

As a church we need to welcome the seeking agnostics.  We also need to give them a forum where there the questions can be asked and the issues discussed.  As long as they are part of our community we have the opportunity to pass on the heritage of faith.  Questions, doubt and even rebellion are part of faith development process.  When we do not allow a forum where the issues can be discussed, we run the risk of losing them. 

Trying to Get into the Head of Those Sport Bikers

It happened again yesterday.  Barb and I were on the Stemmons Freeway heading into the city.  As is the pattern, I heard the high pitched whine before I saw him.  I glanced in my rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of a lime green sports bike.  He went by me on the right, swung across the front of my car pulled into the center far left lane.  I was driving at 60 MPH, but he had to have doing at least 100 MPH.  I am just glad he is not my kid, I thought to myself. 

The reality is he is someone's son, grandson, or nephew.  I've grown accustom to them.  You can't  get on a highway in the DFW area without encountering at least one sports biker.  The worst experience is to encounter a pack of them at night.  I recall one evening in particular.  We were on Loop 12, coming back from a Ranger game.  There must have been fifty of them riding single file.  I am sure they were traveling at twice the speed limit as they snaked around cars.  All of a sudden there were brake lights ahead.  I slowed down enough to view a twisted bike laying by the side of the road.  His name appeared in the paper two days later as a statistic.  I wonder if any of his biker friends showed up at the funeral.  I don't recall seeing any of them having stopped to check on him that evening.

I have thought about the sports bikers.  I have even prayed for their safety.  I also have a theory about them.  In their mind there is no difference between fantasy and reality.  Allow me to explain: If you have ever been around a video arcade you have seen the game where the player sits on a motorcycle.  I tried it once, but my reflexes are not quick enough.  In the game you are on the bike traveling at over 100 MPH weaving around curves, dodging pretend obstacles, or slower moving vehicles that appear in your path.  If you crash, you just hit reset.   

I have tried my hand at other video games.  I still enjoy my NASCAR game that allows me to drive at high speeds around the various tracks.  In the game I can compete against my heroes, and yes sometimes I win.  I also got to drive one of those 3,400 lb. beasts for real, thanks to a Christmas gift from our kids.  Let me tell you, I was a lot more cautious than I am on the computer.  There is a big difference between driving 150 MPH on a real track and that same speed and faster in a computer game.

I think we have a responsibility to help kids see the difference.  That involves talking to them about their gaming experience and even limiting how much time they do it.  It also means talking to them about our concern for their safety and the importance of making good choices.  Remember, there is no reset button in the game of life.

Why I am Glad to be Living at This Time

I sent out my monthly email newsletter this morning.  With the touch of a button, I had scheduled the newsletter to go to almost five hundred individuals at exactly 7:00 AM central time.  Within minutes I was able to log on and check to see who had opened the email.  I did the writing and layout myself.  I even added pictures and graphics with a click of my mouse.  I had my wife do the editing and proofreading.  The marketing service I use allows me to maintain a mailing list and monitors who is reading my publication and what links they follow.  They even offer ideas on how to reach a broader audience more effectively.

I couldn't help but think about how different my world is than thirty years ago.  It was about that time that I, along with good friends Larry Brandt and Jack Giles, launched Parish Ministries Resources. We were directors of Christian education (DCE's) and our goal was to produce resource materials that our peers would find useful.  Our first product was a quarterly newsletter, Insights into Christian Education.  In addition to monitoring trends in Christian education and offering tips for professional educators, we reviewed products.  What Consumer Reports Magazine did on automobiles and refrigerators, we did for Sunday school, vacation Bible school and adult education materials.  We got a lot of positive feedback.  One major Christian bookstore in Chicago even asked us to do their annual VBS workshop.  They liked the fact that we didn't try to sell a product, but rather helped leaders identify the curriculum that was most suitable for their needs.

Jack, Larry and I were able to keep that ministry going for eight years, even though it never reached the point where we broke even.  It continued to cost us money out of our own pockets just to keep things afloat.  In the end we sold the publishing rights to LEA-TEAM (now the Parish Education Network of the Lutheran Education Association) for $1.00.  Overhead expenses did us in.  Most of our money went into typesetting, printing and postage.  It probably cost us about a thousand dollars to do each issue of Insights into Christian Education.  The monthly expense to do my Passing the Torch newsletter is about 2% of that.

We all should feel blessed to live in such a time as this.  The resources and the network we need to pass on the traditions of faith and values to our children, and grandchildren are readily available.  We have no excuse.  God has provided us with all the tools we need and he has blessed us with an awesome, life-changing message to share.  Pass the Torch!

Why Belief in Biblical Creation is Important

A few years back I heard a presentation by creationist, Dr. Ken Hamm.  He happened to be doing a keynote address at a conference where I was also on the program.  One of the things that Dr. Hamm said has stayed with me.  More children begin to question their Christian faith during high school than during college.  That flies in the face of what I had always believed.  During adolescence teens are still living at home under the influence of their parents.  Many teens attend worship regularly and are involved in the youth ministry at their church.  How can it be that the young people we see in church every Sunday might be actually slipping away when it comes to a relationship with their Lord and Savior? 

I thought of Dr. Hamm's words recently when I read the latest statistic when it comes to the belief in a Biblical creation.  The report, released by the Federal Government, indicates that there has been an 8% increase in the last ten years in the number of people who believe humans evolved from another form of life.  While only 21% of Americans believe in evolution per se, we are a divided nation when it comes to whether both creationism and evolutional theory should be taught in our schools, 40% support it and 32% are opposed.

In Dr. Hamm's mind, and I happen to agree, the issue of evolution is often litmus test when it comes to a young person's faith.  For many young people it is the first time they are taught something that runs counter to what they have teen taught in church and Sunday school.  That, coupled with the opinion among many young people that the church is hypocritical, leads them to at the least view church as irrelevant.  At the worst, they see Christianity as nothing but "smoke and mirrors."

How do we respond to this disturbing trend?  It begins when we equip children and teens to respond to the tough questions.  How can they defend their faith when it is called into question?  Secondly we need to make the church a place where questions about the tough issues can be asked, without being labeled a heretic. 

Biblical creation is a doctrine that is worth defending.  While it has nothing to do with our salvation, that can only come through belief in Jesus Christ, it is an important component.  When it comes to God's Word I don't believe we can pick and choose when it comes to what is truth and what is fiction.

Kids Have it Easy These Days, and So Do We

While sometime television commercials can be annoying, they do provide us with insights into our culture and way of life.  One example is the series promoting ATT U-verse.  The commercials feature kids reflecting on the "easy lifestyle" of their younger siblings.  When reflecting on the ability to move the television around without a connection, they remark, "Kids have it easy these days." I see it as a comment on both how quickly our world is changing and how blessed we are to live at this time. We don't have a remote TV, but we do have a satellite dish that provides over a hundred channels, most in high definition.  Not only is television different, but millennials are the first generation to grow up not knowing what life is like without a computer.  We can also point to the fact that teens, and those younger, are the first to live in a world where they don't know about life before cell phones. 

As I reflect on how much I rely on my mobile device, I too find myself thinking; "How did I survive in the old world?"  I use my cell phone to: keep my personal calendar, check my e-mail, take notes, read the Bible, play games, take pictures, surf the Internet, and yes I make phone calls on it too.  I get constant updates on news, sport scores and use it as a GPS.  I can read books, watch videos and shop using my mobile device.   Oh: and it has a piano and drum app and also a flashlight I can use to find my way in the dark.  Amazing, my first computer was a hundred times bigger and didn't have any of those functions.  Come to think of it: it had no memory.  Everything was stored on floppy disks.

I personally have no desire to go back to the way things were.  I enjoy the convenience of today's technology.  My hope is that all of us who can still remember the "good old days" will learn to embrace change rather than resist or complain about it.  That might mean learning to love those folks who walk around looking at their mobile devices or who have those buds sticking in their ears.  One of those folks might be me.

The Pope Gets It

While I am not a Catholic, I am growing to like and respect Pope Francis.  He seems to have a sincere passion for the lost and broken people in this world.  I also appreciate the fact that he has shunned some of the extravagance that traditionally has come with the office.  He also made a statement last week than reinforced my esteem for the pontiff.  Concerning gays he stated, "If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge."

Don't get me wrong.  I still believe that homosexuality runs counter to God's desire for his people.  I also maintain that the marriage relationship should be limited to one male and one female.  I have come to the conclusion that being gay is not a choice for some people.  Some people are born gay.  It is the way they are wired.  They have a natural tendency to be attracted to those of the same sex.  They are who they are.   I remember telling my students when I was teaching psychology; it's not the emotion or desire that is bad, it's what we do with it. We have a choice when it comes to behavior.  Our actions should always be God pleasing. 

God desires a relationship with each one of us.  He sent His Son, Jesus, to be our advocate and make that possible.  When we seek that relationship, our lives are transformed.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can live lives of service.  The color of our skin or our sexual orientation does not change that. 

Jesus loves all people.  We need to go no further than John chapters 3 and 4.  In John 3, He has a conversation with Nicodemus, a man who represented everything Jesus stood against.  In John 4, He encounters a woman who is living with a man outside of marriage.  Jesus loved them both for who they were, not who he wanted them to be.  He calls us to do the same.  Our world is full of people who are different than us.  Some of those people live lifestyles that run counter to ours.  Others have worship traditions or revere gods other than The Trinity.  In some cases we might even find friends or members of our own family heading down that path.  God calls us, in all circumstance, to be Jesus and love them for who they are, not who we want them to be.  Without a relationship we have no opportunity to make a difference in their lives.

Kortni's Last Request

It's been four years since the death of Kortni Marshall.  I thought it was time to again honor her last request.  This is a blog that first was posted on August 4, 2011. 

The realities of our sinful world have hit me hard over the last week.  On Friday night my brother, Jim, called to tell me of the death of his wife's nephew.  Jason was only thirty, but had a hard life.  His mother deserted the family when he was a child and he struggled with a bi-polar like disorder.  Jason also battled the demons of addiction.  He spent time in prison, but was finally putting things back together.  He was in a halfway house and had even reconnected with his family.  They found him dead Friday afternoon.

On Saturday I got news of the sudden death of one of my former Lutheran High students. Kortni Marshall and her twin sister, Kimberly, were in our daughter Katie's class.  My memories are of a smiling, pixie-like face.  Kortni was too innocent, almost naïve, but always full of life.  There was another side to Kortni.  Like Jason, she fought the demons of addiction.  Her last requested is posted on the Dallas Lutheran Alumni page on Facebook.  "Tell everyone.  Addiction is real, and it's a disease that can kill you."

Drugs and alcohol are a reality in the teenage world.  The choices kids make can lead to tragedy and heartbreak later on.

Two realities:

The average teenager has their first experience with alcohol during the middle school years.  Most of the time it takes place in an unchaperoned home environment. Alcohol is considered to be a "gateway drug."  Kids who try alcohol in any form are at risk for trying other drugs..

While drugs have been an issue since I was in college, the culture is much different today.  The marijuana available today is twenty times stronger than the stuff smoked in the sixties and seventies.  It's also usually laced with other drugs that are designed to create dependence.

Kortni was a baptized and redeemed child of God.  She now rests in Jesus strong arms.  The demons can harm her no more.  Just remember her last request.  Please talk about this issue with your teens.  "Addiction is real and it's a disease that can kill you."  I only wish Kortni was still here to deliver the message personally.

Parenting an Emerging Adult

It's the time of year when many parents are preparing to send their children off to college.  In addition to it being a time of transition, it can also be a confusing and disconcerting.  Even if school is only an hour away, they will be entering a different world.  Life will never be the same for you or for them.  Barb and I have been down that road three times.  The image of them waving goodbye in the rearview mirror is etched in my memory.  While two of our three children went to college an hour away at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, our middle child chose Valparaiso University in Indiana. 

Fuller Youth Institute has identified those going through the period as emerging adults.  Emerging adulthood can already begin in high school and will probably continue into the mid-twenties.  The transition from high school to college only intensifies the issue.  It's a struggle for them as they vacillate between being a child and being an adult.  It's a confusing time for us as well.  Sometimes we feel like we need to check the temperature of the room before we say anything.  It be especially helpful to remember these two characteristics of emerging adults.

Identity Exploration: Emerging adults are still searching for their personal identity.  As a result they will shift in their interests and their relationships. Yes, they will probably change their major at least once as they seek to find their real passion.  They might even try a different hairstyle or style of clothes.    In their spiritual development, they might try different worship settings or denominations.  It's important to keep this in mind and not overreact.  There is a tendency to view all changes as permanent, when in many cases they are just trying something to see how it feels.


Feeling In Between: In many ways emerging adults are caught in between still being a child and being an adult.  As a result we might often feel like they are pushing us away, and then in a matter of minute moving back toward us.  Remember, while they might be on their own they still are probably financially dependent on us.  Real financial freedom is probably years away.  When it comes to holidays they will probably want to be with family, but might seem preoccupied with what's going on with their college friends while also checking in with old friends. 

While it's can be a challenging period, if we have done our job in terms of providing spiritual roots and a sense of values they are probably going to get through this stage just fine.  Remember: continue to pray for them and always extend an extra measure of grace in their direction.   Be patient: this too shall pass.

From The Moral Majority to the Missional Minority

The days of the Moral Majority are long gone.  There was a time when America was a Christian nation.  The moral majority was more than just a vocal group of evangelical leaders. For centuries our values were anchored to The Bible.  Sex outside of marriage was considered wrong.  Co-habitation before marriage was frowned on.  Same-sex marriage was not even on our moral radar.  All of the above have now become acceptable behavior.  The conservative, evangelical voices are still there, but they are mere clanging bells.

All is not lost, however.  There is a new voice: The Missional Minority.  I was not even aware of the term until this weekend when I read an article on www.churchleader.com.  The author, Trevin Wix, actually tried to put a positive spin on the value shift.  He pointed out that Christians have been in the minority in other parts of the world, like Great Brittan and much of Europe, for centuries. The world-wide trend has just caught up with us. 

Being the minority might discourage us or make us uncomfortable.  Outside of our worship communities we might stick out.  It's more than just the fact that we might wear a cross or be seen praying before meals.  The lifestyle we live and they way we run our lives should be making a statement.  Hopefully, they don't have us labeled because of our "judgmental" attitude.  It's OK to have our personal moral compass focused on The Bible, but when it comes to those whose lifestyle differ from our, we just need to love and accept them.  We need to have a relationship with them, before we can impact their lives.  We need to view them in the same way that God views us, as broken sinners.

If you are struggling with this concept consider the New Testament church.  The disciples and other followers of Jesus were a Missional Minority.  Their desire was to share the Good News of salvation.  They were also out of step with the rest of their community.  All you need to do is read the first few chapters of the Book of Acts to realize their impact.  How ironic that after centuries we find ourselves in the same position, and we don't even need to worry about being thrown to the lions or losing our heads over it.

 

A Lesson Learned from the George Zimmerman Trial

The verdict is in.  George Zimmerman was found not guilty of murder in the death of Trayvon Martin by a jury of his peers .  That is the way our justice system is designed to work.  Unfortunately, the repercussions of the verdict continue to resound throughout our land.  My mind flashes back to the turbulent 60's and the racial tensions that divided our land.  I don't know what happened that night.  All I know is that one teenager is dead and another man has lost his freedom even though he was found not guilty.

There is one aspect of this whole situation that troubles me.  I also believe it provides us with an important lesson.  The issue has nothing to do with racial profiling or gun rights.  It does have to do with learning to listen when we are told not to do something.  Let me put this into context by quoting a portion of the 911 transcript from that night;

Dispatcher: "Are you following him?

George: "Yeah."

Dispatcher: "We don't need you to do that."

George: "Okay."

George Zimmerman said, "Okay." and then did exactly the opposite.  He got out of his car and followed Trayvon even though instructed not to.  I can understand his reaction.  He had reported suspicious individuals before, only to have them drift off into oblivion before the police arrived.  And yes, there continued to be crime in his neighborhood.  The reality is, he was told "don't" and he still did.  This is the lesson we all need to learn.  We tend to focus on teenagers and young adults.   We tell them not to experiment with drugs, and they still do.  We warn them about the dangers of getting in the car with someone who is driving under the influence and they still do.  We talk to them about being honest and always telling the truth, but they still lie to our faces.  It goes on and on.  "We don't need you to do that."  They respond, "Yeah," and then do it anyway.

Where do they learn this pattern?  We are told not to text and drive, and we do it anyway.  We are warned about dangers of obesity, but do nothing to change our eating habits.  Unfortunately it often takes a tragedy to force us to make the lifestyle change.  This regrettable event cost a young man his life and I would only hope that we would all learn the lesson, "No means No."  That is a reality that we need to be passing on to the next generation and once again the best way to teach is to model ourselves.

The Reformation and Our Cultural Shift

There is no denying that fact that values have shifted.  I was reminded of that again last week when I read the results of a new survey done by the Barna Group.  For decades, they have been tracking our national stance on traditional marriage.  This report compared current public opinion with that of ten years ago in 2003.  The most recent research was done during the last two weeks in June.  For the first time, less than half of Americans (48%) view marriage as limited to the relationship between one man and one woman.  That is 4% less than the 52% in 2003.  There was a slight decline in the number of practicing Protestants who support traditional marriage, 70% as opposed to 75% in 2003.  The most shocking statistic for me was the number of practicing Catholics who support same-sex marriage.  It almost mirrors that of the general population, 50% compared to 64% in 2003.

I had a theory but I was reluctant to share it because, to be quite honest, it might offend some folks. Then over lunch after church yesterday I was shared the information with our son, Mark.  I purposely just told him about the report, not my theory.  His response mirrored my mine.  It's a result of the Reformation.  Protestants not only spend more time reading their Bibles, but they also tend to take God's Word literally.  This isn't saying that Catholic are less spiritual, only that Protestants tend to hold to more traditional views when it comes to moral and ethical issues.  Let there be no doubt that the Vatican supports traditional marriage.  It's just that the message doesn't always trickle down.  The whole point of the Reformation was to reform the church.  It began with putting the Bible into the hands of people, allowing them to read it and grow from it.  When that happens, lives are changed not because someone says they should but because "Thus says the Lord." 

I believe in traditional marriage.  I also maintain that our laws should reflect that. Granting more freedom to gays and lesbians runs counter to God's desire.  That does not mean I want them to be excluded from God's family.  Jesus died for all people, that includes me and all the baggage that I carry.  There are no degrees of sin, "for all fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).  I think that we, as descendants of the reformers, have done an OK job when it comes to preserving traditional values.  We, however, have a long way to go when it comes to practicing Grace-filled living.

Learning to Change The World

Eleven years ago I was immersed in my job as a high school counselor.  I spent my time trying to help students work through personal issues, make wise choices and to stay academically focused.  I guess I was aware that the students had changed, but I don't recall the term millennials being part of my vocabulary.  While I was aware of a societal shift, I really didn't think about the how and why.  I certainly didn't consider the long-term implications.  Fortunately, other people were.  Our son Mark and his wife, Kristen, are moving to a new apartment this weekend.  As part of the process he decided to get rid of some books.  One of them ended up in my hands, Generation 2K, What Parents and Others Need to Know about the Millennials.     Most shocking was the copyright date, 1999.  The author, Wendy Murray Zoba, was very aware of the new generation.  Wendy was an associate editor for Christianity Today and she used the resources of that publication to do some of the initial research on those born after 1980.

Other people were aware of millennials.  My wife was recently going through old papers.  One thing she came across was notes from the summer of 2002.  Our daughter, Katie, was getting ready for her freshmen year at Texas Christian University.  She and Barb had attended the orientation.  Barb's notes, "Millennials (ages 3-21): Sensory -emotional age, building relationships and believe they can make a difference."    The folks at TCU, like other college leaders across the country, realized that their student population was changing.  It was about that time that TCU changed their marketing slogan to, "Learning to Change the World," an obvious nod to a generation that "believed they can make a difference" (see my wife's notes above).

It's one thing to label millennials and even begin to attach characteristics to them as a generation, but it's a whole different issue when we realize the impact that they are having on our culture. On the negative side we can talk about the way our values have shifted on issues like same sex marriage.  On the positive side we can relate to their inclination to become involved in service to others.  I would also hope that we be disturbed over the fact that many of them have turned a cold shoulder to mainline Christianity.  When it  comes to this last issue, I would pray that we would find a need to react to it, rather than run from it.  We need to seek ways to relate to teens and young adults and try to be messengers of hope, rather than prophets of doom.  Maybe we need to take a lesson from TCU and learn to change the world.

Whistleblowers: A Throwback to the Sixties?

I am a child of the sixties.  My generation will always be known as the protest generation.  The Viet Nam War gave birth to the peace movement.  Blatant segregation brought about boycotts and protests.  We were also just starting to learn what we were doing to our environment, resulting in major changes in the way we live.  My college class, The 69ers, was known as the rebels.  I think the University still tries its best to ignore us.  We brought dancing to the campus for the first time, probably because our off-campus parties were getting out of hand.  We thumbed our nose at school policy and elected a married homecoming queen.  Later in the school years a sit-in of the office of the Dean of Students was organized. 

I thought about that as I perused last week's Time Magazine.  The cover article was on the current breed of millennial protesters.  Today they are called whistle blowers, as they bring to light the way in which our government intrudes into the private lives of citizen.  There is much debate over their actions, with some even labeling them traitors.  Indeed there probably are more parallels between millennials and baby boomers than either generation wants to acknowledge.  Both tend to be  somewhat altruistic and self-absorbed at the same time.  There is a desire to "make a difference" among today's young folks, much the same as there was for my generation.  The problem comes when things are taken too far.  Boycotting a particular store, wearing a "peace symbol, and even occupying the dean's office is one thing.  Burning down  the army recruiting office or endangering the lives of innocent people is a whole different issue. 

Before we are quick to judge the actions of today's militants, we need to reflect back on the "sins of our youth."  Their motives might be the same as ours. They see what they view as an injustice and desire to make a difference.  I suspect the enemy within us already knows they are being watched and monitored.   That in itself is a step in the right direction... but I probably shouldn't say anymore because I just never know who might be reading my blog.

Remember:It is Social Media

I was reminded twice in the last week that Facebook can be a very dangerous thing.  Don't get me wrong, I not only enjoy social media but I have found it a great way to share my ministry with others.  We do, however, need to be judicious in how we use it.  The first incident was a major news story in Dallas.  While the second incident did not make the news (it came via a friend) the impact might be more disconcerting.

April Sims was a 23 year old 911 operator for the City of Dallas.  She was on the job only a few months.  She was hired after the city had received criticism for slow response.  As a result they hired numerous new operators.  April seemed to be a great candidate since she seemed to be young, bright and enthusiastic.  She also evidently came with a strong racial bias.  That is what got her in trouble.  She posted her comments about that particular racial group and their lack of rational thinking on Facebook.  She also violated city policy by posting comments on some of her work experience.  Needless to say, her career as a 911 operator was short.  Since she was a recent hire and on probation, she could not appeal her bosses decision. 

In the second case, a father was fired because of comments his teenage daughter made about his employer.  As my friend related, the dad shared with his family some of his frustration at work and that he might be seeking a different job.  Daughter took the information and ran with it.  "I guess my dad's boss is being an a _ _.  Hope he soon finds someone who appreciates him."  You never how far the web of social media extend.  Somehow... Some way... The boss caught wind and dad was shown the door sooner than he would have liked.

I have come to the conclusion that there is no set answer to the question: When are kids old enough to use social media?  In my opinion, there are some adults who don't possess the needed level of maturity, or maybe that is common sense.    When it comes to teenagers, we need to remember that we are the parent and they are the child.  Hence their use of social media should only come with our consent.  It should be directly related to their level of maturity and their track record for making good decisions.  If our response is "no," we need to back that up with specific examples of poor choices.  Secondly: If we grant teens the right to use Facebook and other social media, we need to establish some guidelines.  Who are appropriate friends?  What picture are appropriate and what are not?  And yes, we will be checking periodically.  Last: keep it social.  If I go to a party or social gathering I will go out of my way to avoid people who I know have a political agenda.  If I want their opinion on an issue I will ask.  Otherwise, keep it to yourself.  Same thing with Facebook.  It is also not the place to make negative comments about other people. 

And yes, we do have the right to slip into the roll of consultant if we see adults, including our adult children, using social media in an inappropriate manner.  Remember: Consultants offer advice based on their experience and expertise, and they back-off. Ultimately the individual has to make the decision on how they are going to use the information. 

Airline Passengers who Never Got Off the Ground

Hurray for AirTran Airways for putting a group of unruly teens in their place and teaching us all an important lesson when it comes to air safety.  In case you missed the story, let me fill you in on the  details.  A group of 101 teens and their 8 chaperons were kicked off a flight from New York to Atlanta because some of the students would not comply with the FAA policy that all cell phones must be "off " during take-off and landings.  The kids were from Yeshiva of Flatbush Academy in Brooklyn.  In addition to continuing to use their phones, some of the students refused to take their seats and buckle-up.  First the flight attendants and then the captain himself asked the students to comply.  When they refused, he ordered the plane back to the gate where the kids were removed from the plane.  Air Tran did rebook them on later flights but the group could not travel together and some kids had to travel to Atlanta through Milwaukee. 

I have experienced this issue from both sides.  I have travel by plane with a group of teens.   Two things I always stressed: Listen to and follow the instructions, and respect the other passengers.  I have never had a problem.  I have also been a passengers on planes where groups of teens were on board.  I don't recall ever being offend or bothered by their presence.  My only negative experience came with a group of adults who "partied to hardy."  A flight attendant threatened to have the captain contact the airport to have police waiting for our arrival.  At that point an air marshal, who just happened to be on the plane, flashed his badge and things calmed down in a hurry. 

There is more here than just a lesson to obey the FAA rules.  There is also the issue of respect for authority and being courteous to others.  Unfortunately some adults still struggle with the same issue.  Almost weekly there are news report of unruly passengers being removed from planes, but most of us have learned to comply,  When the order is given to "Turnoff all electronic devises and return seat backs  to the upright and locked position," we have learned to accede. 

I wish the same pattern existed on our highways.  Speed limit signs and double white lines seem to be irrelevant.  I don't think putting flight attendants behind the wheel of police cars is the solution.  The answer lies in the way we respect and treat the rules and those who are there to enforce them.  My guess what those students from Brooklyn really lacked was adults in their lives who modeled appropriate and respectful behavior.

Lessons Learned at Graduation

It's predictable this time of year that there is going to be at least one news story about a student that is banned from graduation because of a violation of school policy.  It becomes a news event because Johnny or Jeannie's parents decide to sue the district in order to have the ruling reverse.  Typically, the student in question is a "good kid" who has no history as a recalcitrant. 

This year, the student's name is Lauren Green.  She is a senior at McKinney High School.   Lauren is an honor student (4.0 GPA) who has already earned 30 hours of college credit.  She has never been a discipline problem, according to her mom.  Lauren seems to have made only one mistake in her school experience.  She got aboard a party bus bound for the prom with eleven other students. When the students staggered off the bus at their destination, they were busted.  According to school official, all of them admitted consuming alcohol and some them even listed the other student who were on board and also drinking.  School policy banned them from the prom and also required thirty days attending an alternative school.  Students who are enrolled in an alternative program are not allowed to participate in school activities.  No walking across the stage on graduation night.  Her diploma is in the mail. Mom's response: Sue the school district.  Last Friday the judge appointed to hear the case through it out.  He noted that the court had no authority to over-rule a school district policy.  Chalk one up for the system.  It probably says something for "sweet Lauren" that she wasn't even in the courtroom.   It was just mom and her little sister, who appeared to be there for moral support.  We can only assume Lauren was where she belonged, in school. 

It is  a parental instinct to come to our children's defense is we feel they have been treated unfairly.  I have felt my share of parental wrath.  There are a couple of words of wisdom that apply here.  They come not only from my experience as an educator, but as a parent.  No teen or young adult is perfect.  They will from time-to-time make poor decisions.  Secondly, sometimes when poor decisions are made there are consequences.  While I understood the source of  parental anger, I was always offended when parents accused me of not treating their precious child fairly, or worse yet wanted to eliminate the consequences. 

By the way, the same two principles apply to adults: We all make mistake and sometimes those mistakes come with consequences.  In this case the consequence is a mom with egg on her face.

Sense of Entitlement not Limited to Millennials

We hear a lot these days about entitlement, especially when we talk about millennials.  I checked the dictionary for a definition and discovered, entitlement is "the right to guaranteed benefits under a government program."  I put in my years of work and now I am entitled to Social Security... after all I did pay into the program over the years.  Today word has taken on an additional meaning.  I am entitled to something because of who I am.  When it comes to millennials, some of them feel they are entitled to have the latest in mobile devises or to a college education.  Some young athletes feel they are entitled to a position on the team because of who they are, or who their parents are.  College graduates feel they are entitled to a top paying job right out of school.

I got to thinking recently, many older adults might have the same sense of entitlement.  Once I reached the mid-fifties a new term was added to my vocabulary: Senior Discount.  While it's nice to get a 10% discount when I shop at a certain grocery store, or to get a break on my greens fee when I golf, I have to wonder: why me?  It seems to me that parents of young children should get a discount too.  Raising children is expensive and many young parents are just getting started in their careers.  They often have tight budgets.  How about a young parent discount?

I don's see millennials as having a corner when it comes to a sense of entitlement. I also see it in older adults who have a lifestyle that focuses on themselves   "I've paid my dues.  Now I am entitled to time to relax, to play golf and maybe travel a little."  There are even whole senior communities that appeal to this sense of entitlement.  What probably troubles me most about this sense of senior entitlement is that they want to limit their relationships to other who are the same age or those who share their interest.  Aside from their grandkids, they have no interest in associating with teens or young adults.  That is a shame because if there was ever a generation that needs their insights and expertise, it's today's millennial generation.

"What Do You Have for Us?"

For the sake of anonymity I will call him Sam.   He had a child at Lutheran High during the time I worked there but I had not seen him since I left six years ago.  Sam and his family were not Lutheran, but attended a large Protestant church.  They were involved and he was on the church vestry.  After getting caught up on the family news, I asked if they still attended the same church.  He paused, "We're kind of shopping around."  I didn't have to ask because Sam offered an explanation and with it came an insight.  The senior pastor has been there for almost twenty years and is nearing retirement.   A few years ago they added a young associate to the staff.  "He a dynamic preacher, but he doesn't seem to relate to the people my age." 

"Who does he relate to?" I asked. 

"Mostly young folks," he responded.  "He kind of ignores those of us who have been around for years.  It's like, 'What do you have for us?"  

While I could identify with Sam's perspective I had to think, "So what's the problem?"  In a time when teens and young adults are turning their backs on the church, we need more pastors who can relate to them.   I could also understand Sam's perspective that the young pastor was not concerned about his needs.  That might be especially difficult if Sam and his friends had supported the church with their time and money.

It does create a dilemma for a church, especially since Christians are usually not open to change. If there is one thing we can say about our culture at this time it is that there is change.  Values have shifted and even faith perspectives have changed.  For those of us over sixty, probably the best thing to do is focus on the eternal hope we have in Jesus.  That never changes.  I also would encourage them to try to relate to millennials.  The church needs them, just like it needs us.

Touching a Hot Button

It has been four weeks since the release of my new book Passing the Torch: Sharing Faith and Values with the Millennial Generation.  I am a little overwhelmed by the initial response.  While the book hasn't made any one's list of best sellers, I have gotten a lot of positive feedback.  This book is my second attempt at self-publishing.  My first book, Parenting Without Guilt: Avoiding the Seven Things Parents do to Screw-Up Their Kids, did alright in terms of sales but I never had that many invitations to talk about the book.  This time is different and I am getting positive feedback and inquiries.  I've concluded that while there are an abundance of books on parenting, there are not many authors who have tackled the topic of millennials.

What I am hearing is that people want to do something to reverse the trend: Teens and young adults are leaving the traditional church.  This has been happening for over a decade but it seems like people are finally ready to take action.  It's not enough just to be concerned, it takes a desire to understand and seek out millennials.  It also means accepting those whose values and lifestyles might clash with what we believe.  One criticism of the church is that it is not the place to ask questions or to discuss controversial issues.  If you express an opinion that goes against the mainstream, you can expect get a "cold shoulder."  That has to change.

The book attempts to help adults, especially those over forty, to begin to understand those under the age of thirty.  It also includes strategies on how to begin to make a difference.  The bottom line is we need to be people of hope in the midst of change.  When we model our lives after Jesus, we can make a difference.  Remember, Jesus always accepted and loved people for who they were.  He calls us to do the same.  You can check out the book at www.outskirtspress.com/passingthetorch.  The book is available on Amazon.com in both standard and Kindle formats.

Ok, So What is Appropriate Attire?

It was my wife who brought it to my attention, yesterday.  "I think it might be something you might want to comment on," she remarked.  It was a radio report on the informality at which millennials approach job interviews.  It seems for some, flip-flops, shorts and tees have become OK attire when interviewing for a job.  Some young adults even bring along a friend, or a parent.  One young lady even showed up for a job interview accompanied by her cat.  "What are they thinking," I was caused to wonder.

Then today I met a young man at the airport that caused me to reconsider.  He was wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt, tattered shorts and sandals.  He hammered away at his laptop while he also chatted on the phone.  During a break in the action he asked me if I knew where the closest Starbucks was.  When he returned I stuck up a conversation.  It turns out he is partner, with a college friend, in a social media consulting business.  They have around a dozen employees and work with other small companies.  They help them use social media to spread their message.  When I commented about the report mentioned previously, he just laughed.  "Our employees work at home, so they might be naked for all I know," he commented.   "I do have a three piece suit, because I know certain clients expect that image," he concluded.

I guess it's a matter of adapting to the situation.  I am sure there is a big difference in the dress code at a law firm, as opposed to a social media giant like Facebook.  Come to think of it, I can draw from experience.  In retirement, we get around to the churches where our kids are involved in ministry.  Most Sundays we attend The Crossing Church in Dallas where our son, Mark, is lead pastor.  It tends to be a younger crowd and the atmosphere is informal.  On those Sundays I can wear jeans and and open collar shirt.  Our daughter is assistant director of music at Prince of Peace in Carrollton.  If we are attending the 8:00 am traditional service I will usually wear a sportcoat and tie, but if it's one of the contemporary services I can get by with an open collar shirt and slacks.  I dress in a similar fashion if we are going to Aledo, Texas to visit The Summit where our other son, Peter, is lead pastor. 

Perhaps that is what we need to be sharing with the younger generation.  It's OK to be yourself, but you also need to consider the expectations of others.  What's appropriate?  That's doesn't just include how we dress, but the kind of language we use and degree of etiquette.   To be honest, I don't think God really cares about how we look.  Rather like in the case of David (1 Samuel 16:7), he judges the heart. 

 

Reflections on Baseball and the Way we Share the Score

We came home last evening after spending four days with our three grandsons (ages 9, 7 & 5), while our son, Peter, and his wife attended a conference in Florida.  The boys are in the middle of little league season and they pretty much live baseball.  In the between games and practices, they play baseball in the backyard on a diamond they have set up.  They also follow their favorite teams, and players.  They have MLB-TV so they can pretty much watch any game.  They also each have at least one fantasy team that they manage.  The first one up each morning turns on the TV to the MLB Network to get the recap from the previous evening so they can update their brothers when they wake up.  They take great pride in having the information first.

I couldn't help but think of how different it is to my childhood experience.  Few games were on TV and we had to rely on the morning paper to update us on the scores from around the league.  Late at night during the summer I would lie in bed and listen to the late games on the radio.  My dad had rigged up an antenna on a pole outside that allowed me to pick-up stations from around the Midwest.  I could listen to the Reds, Pirates, Cardinals,  Cubs and White Sox.  There were no west coast teams in those days, so everything pretty much was done by 11:00 PM. 

I still am in awe when it comes to the way we get our information today.  By the time I open the paper in the morning the scores from the previous evening are old news.  On any particular evening I have a choice of multiple games to watch.  It's not uncommon to be following my favorite team, The Detroit Tigers, on my i-phone, while watching the Texas Rangers on TV. 

Many of the same things apply when it comes to how we access God's word.  I still prefer my leather-bound Thompson's Chain Reference NIV Bible when it comes to devotions and Bible study, but I also have an app on my i-phone that allows me to read any chapter in the Bible from multiple translations and paraphrases.  The same app has commentaries and a Bible dictionary.  Amazing technology!

With all these changes, one thing remains constant.  God's story remains the same and there is never a doubt when it comes to what the final outcome of the contest is going to be.  The way God's story is told through our lives changes constantly though.   When it comes to sharing that story with others,  it is still best conveyed in a one-on-one personal way.  Verbal communication is still the best way to pass the torch.

A Shift in Public Opinion on Marijuana: The Millennial Effect

I was born in 1946.  That makes me a baby boomer.  Boomers were born between 1946 and the mid-60's.  Dad's came home from World War II ready to settle down and start families.  The average married couple had four children.  My generation impacted our society in a way no other generation had.  To begin with, we comprised the largest population group in American history.  We flooded the educational system: As an example. the community colleges were initially created to serve us.   Now a new generation, that outnumbers even the baby boomers, is impacting our culture.  In shear numbers the millennials, those born between 1984 and 2002, will dwarf my generation, and we are just beginning to feel their effect.

I was reminded of that again last week when I read a new report by the Barna Group.  According to their research done earlier this year, for the first time a majority of Americans favor the legalization of marijuana.  The margin is small, 51% in favor and 45% opposed, but the shift has begun.  I can say that because of the significant 11% swing in public opinion in the last two years.  You might ask: How can that be?  More and more millennials are becoming part of the adult population and according to the Barna folks, 65% of millennials favor the legalization of pot.  Warning: Before you start throwing stones you need to know that 50% of baby boomers also support the legalization of marijuana.  Another indication is the fact that 24 states have already taken steps to decriminalize the drug. 

I am not here to take a stand on the issue, although I do have an opinion.  I can see the issue from both sides.  As long as pot is illegal those desiring to use it will have to deal with the criminal element to get it.  That means supporting the Mexican Drug Cartel and well, you get the picture.  Marijuana is a gateway drug and the folks to peddle it will be glad to sell you something stronger.  To legalize it takes away that risk, but I also know the marijuana is a drug.  It promotes a lifestyle that I struggle to see as God-pleasing.  It also comes with health risks.  Let the debate go on.

I do know that we can never allow the court of public opinion influence who we are a God's people.  It's up to each of us to dig into God's Word and determine how it applies to our walk of discipleship.  To be honest, I don't believe God is going to condemn someone one to hell for smoking a joint, in the same way he is going to have mercy on those who commit other vices.  So, what should we be doing:

Be open to the opinions of others. Learn to listen and to love them for who they are,  I think that's what Jesus would want us to do.

Don't be so quick to judge.  Remember, we are all sinners in God's eyes.

Our actions will always speak the loudest.  Teens and young adults are watching to see how we run our lives.  At all times we need to be an example of hope, unconditional love and discipleship.