Christmas: The Real Father's Day

The following is one of the prayers that was included in my book, Real Men Pray, which was published in 1996.  It is my prayer again this Christmas.

This is Your day, Father.
Easter belongs to Jesus and His victory over death,
but Christmas belongs to You.

I can't imagine the struggle You must have gone through.
You allowed Your Son to become a human being
and not only face the humiliation of human life,
but even death itself.
And Jesus did it for the sake of all people, many of whom couldn't care less.

Sometimes this fact restrains my Christmas celebration.
All the world appears joyful as,
"Peace on Earth" becomes the cliche' of the day.
Everyone become religious as they celebrate the birth of a Child
they personally do not know.

Father, others might struggle to understand my melancholy attitude.
But as a father, I reflect on your cost.
I pray that You would make me a disciple
worthy of the price You and Jesus paid.
As a sinner, I know I can never measure up.
And as a redeemed saint, I know I can never stop trying.

Father, thanks for Christmas and the new life
You have given me.  Amen.

A Lesson from the Life of Ethan Couch

There has been a huge outcry in the Dallas-Fort Worth community over the last forty-eight hours as a result of a judge's decision to give a young man probation rather than jail time.  The young man is sixteen year old Ethan Couch who was  involved in an accident that killed four innocent people.  Ethan's blood alcohol level was four time the legal limit when he drove his pick-up, its bed filled with other drunken teens, into a disabled vehicle.  Killed in the accident were the driver of the disabled vehicle, and three good Samaritans.  One of those killed was youth pastor, Brian Jennings, who was on the way home from his own son's high school graduation.  Ethan Couch's truck was traveling at 70 miles per hour in a 40 MPH zone.  Officers who investigated the accident stated it was the most violent crash they had ever seen.

During the trial, Ethan's defense team based their case on the fact that he was the victim of a dysfunctional and abusive family.  Witnesses testified that his parents were irresponsible.  As a result Ethan was allowed to do whatever he wanted.  Basically, he was out of control.  The judge in the case, Jean Boyd, must have bought their case because Ethan is no longer allowed to see his parents.  He is being sent to a recovery program in California.  He will be under court supervision for an additional nine years once he returns to Texas.  He is to have no contact with his mom and dad. 

The families of the victims are understandably outraged.  They feel that justice was not served.  The Sheriff of Tarrant Count, where the accident took place, wanted Ethan Couch to serve as an example.  With no tangible punishment, it seems to give other teens the license to live recklessly.  It's unfortunate that the one person involved in this crime is not able to respond.  That would be youth pastor, Brian Jennings.  Brian had invested his life in working with teens, I am confident some of whom were troubled.  If you work with kids long enough, they will break your heart.  I have to wonder if Brian Jennings had been the judge in this case the results might not have been any different. 

I don't know what happened behind closed doors.  What exactly was said between the Judge Boyd and young Ethan?  Somewhere there must have been some indication that Ethan needed a second chance; that sending him to prison would have served no purpose.  At age sixteen he deserved a "do over," this time with responsible adults in his life.  I know that is a hard pill to swallow, especially for those who are grieving the deaths of those who were victims to Ethan's recklessness.  In reality, we all need second chances.  And we have a God who offers that.  I can only pray that somewhere in the process of rebuilding his life, Ethan can come to know that God, and Son, Jesus, who is a forgiving and second-change kind of Savior.

Reflections on the Legacy of Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela died last week.  While I am not much of a student when it comes to world news, there are certain individuals who because of their leadership and character have left an impression on me.  Nelson Mandela is on that short list.  I recall reading about the injustice of apartheid in the book Cry the Beloved Country.  Nelson Mandela took the lead when it came to ending the oppression that served as the backdrop for that story.  He was arrested and imprisoned because of his resistance to apartheid.  After twenty-seven years in prison, through is will and determination, the battle was won.  One image that is etched in my memory is the walk as he left prison.  Throngs of his supporters lined the road to cheer him on, but he walked humbly.  Two of my favorite quotes came from that chapter of Nelson Mandela's story.  In responding to how he could forgive those who had imprisoned him he commented, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”  Another time he noted, "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies."  It is no wonder that an entire country, including those who opposed him, learned to respect him and elected him their leader.

While I have never experienced injustice to the same degree as Nelson Mandela, there have been times when I have been a victim.  I recall one time years ago when I was publicly attacked and falsely accused.  While I didn't handle that incident with anything close to the dignity and humility of Nelson Mandela, I came away ready to forgive those who had slandered me.  In time, one of those involved in the trying to have me removed from my position at the church became a friend.   Unfortunately, two of the families involved left the church.  I never had the opportunity to settle accounts with them.  In my heart I have forgiven them and moved on.  Yes: resentment over past injustices can become a deadly poison. 

Hardly a month goes by without some news story featuring the family of a victim.  Often the quotes reflect anger; "I hope he rots in prisons."  "I can never forgive her for what she has done to our family."  Nothing is gained when we do not forgive those who have wronged us.  In his book, Forgive and Forget, Lewis Smedes encourages readers to even forgive those who have no regard for us. 

Nelson Mandela should serve as a model for all of us, especially those of us who are trying to relate to teens and young adults.  Like all of us, they tend to make mistakes.  Sometimes, in the process, they offend and hurt us.  We need to forgive and always keep the door open.  Without forgiveness there will never be reconciliation.  Without reconciliation we will have no opportunity to pass the torch of faith and values. 


 
 

The Holidays: A Family Faith Dilemma

Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday seasons.  Like many families, we were gathered around the table for the celebration.  Our family is probably not typical in that all our children are involved in full-time ministry.  Their spouses are also active in their churches, using their gifts where appropriate.  I am well aware of the fact that in many families, adult children not only are not involved in church, but have no desire to affiliate with a faith community.  In some case adult children are even antagonistic toward organized religion. 

When families are together it's easy to use the situation to get across the point that we are disappointed that our children have turned their back on their faith.  In many cases our children grew up in the church, attending Sunday school and confirming their faith in their early teens.  Perhaps they were involved in youth ministry and even went on mission trips or helped with vacation Bible school.  Something happened somewhere along the line that caused them to add the church to the list of things that were not relevant to their lives.  In such cases we might be moved to use the holiday gathering to deliver a message conveying our disappointment.  Warning; here are some things we might not want to say:

"I sure wish you would go back to church."

"Are you ever going to get your children baptized?"

"We will be going to church Christmas Eve.  You can meet us there... if you can remember the way."


The best way to approach the situation is to continue to be people of hope.  Share your faith through your actions, not your words.  And, unconditional love should rule the day.  No matter what happens, your children are still your children.  Love them for you they are, not who you  would like them to be.  Continue to pray for them, and ask the Holy Spirit to touch their lives. 

Taking the Defense of Creationism Seriously

Yesterday the Texas State Board of Education members adopted new high school science textbooks.  The new texts includes full coverage of evolution without the disclaimers that religious conservatives and critics of Darwin's theory had sought.  Frankly, I am not surprised by the decision.  It is just another example of a shift toward a more secular culture.  A few years ago I had the opportunity to hear creationist Dr. Kenneth Ham.  He might be the first speaker at a Lutheran educators conference that travels with a personal bodyguard, a result of numerous death threats.  Yes, it is a cultural war that is being waged. 

It's a reality that many teenagers who have grown up in the church are forsaking the faith many of their ancestors have held so precious.  While there has always been some attrition during the college years, experts like Dr. Ham are quick to point out that now faith is being challenged during the high school years.  Often the crucible is evolution.  Students are being taught a theory that runs counter to the stories they were taught in Sunday school, and unfortunately they often do not have the resources to process the information.  Perhaps that is the problem: We teach stories while the world teaches theories.  Theories are generally tested propositions that can be used as principles to explain or predict.  Hence, the theory of evolution contains principles that purportedly explain the origin of all living species, including mankind. Unfortunately, all to often we teach our children using picture books and when the moving on to the Genesis account.  In this day and age that is not sufficient.  It's not enough to simply teach that, "God created the heavens and the earth."  Creation theory must also be taught. Our students must also be taught how to process information and defend their faith. 

The secularization of our culture is a reality.  It is no longer enough to just teach our children doctrine.  The future of the church hinges on our ability to equip them to defend that faith as well.

Reflections on the Assassination of JFK, Part 2

In many ways the 50's and early 60's were my age of innocence.  Granted, there were bullies at school and we lived in a small house that never seemed to have enough bedrooms, but overall I had very few cares.  I was aware of the Cold War and the Soviet menace but it didn't seem to really effect me.  I recall having air-raid drills at school in the early 50's but after the Korean War they suddenly came to an end.  Probably just as well: I could never understand how crawling under my desk with my head covered was going to protect me should someone decide to bomb Detroit.  Part of the sense of security was probably due to the fact that we had a president who seemed to be more of a national grandfather.  President Eisenhower was a World War II hero.  Like an aging relative: he had health issues.  I remember being told a couple of time to pray for him because he had suffered a heart attack.  

I recall the controversy that evolved around President Kennedy's election.  Our nation had never had a Catholic president before and some conservatives warned that in times of crisis he might be more inclined to listen to the Pope than his advisers.  After having had nothing but aging leaders, I found President Kennedy was a breath of fresh air.  He was someone I could identify with.  He was young and had a family.  I remember being told by a teacher that JFK was proof that our country was ready for the kind of change youthful leadership would bring.  Even the Cuban Missile Crisis could not dull that.  Our dynamic young leader stood toe-to-toe with the Russian President, Nikita Khrushchev, and the Soviet leader blinked.  Our Camelot was secure, at least for another year.

Camelot ended on November 22, 1963.  The age of innocence was replaced by turmoil, uncertainty and violence.  We were vulnerable as a nation.  Within a short time we mourned the death of two more national leaders, Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy.  We also faced the reality of the Viet Nam War, a conflict that hit close to home since I was of draft age.  The peace of the 50's was replaced by violence in the street.  My hometown of Detroit suffered the most from these conflicts and has never recovered.  During the political conventions of 1968 I witnessed, via television, protesters my age being beaten in the streets of Chicago.  Then came the drug culture, another dose of the reality that we live in an imperfect world.  Even music was different after the tragic events of 11/22/63.  The Beatles arrived a few months later, followed by the protest songs, featuring singers like Bob Dylan and Barry McGuire. 

Through it all I continued to ponder the thought my dad had spoken the afternoon of the assassination.  People turn to the church during times of crisis.  Over the years my faith has gotten me through all the changes and transitions.  I've come through personal crisis, like my wife's breast cancer and the sudden loss of my job.  We have also weathered national crisis like 9/11.  My hope remains in an Eternal Kingdom rather than an earthly Camelot.

Reflecting on the JFK Assassination

As I write this, our nation is preparing to commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of the assassination of President Kennedy.  Since we now live in the Dallas area, that historic event is in the news on a daily basis.  I often drive down Houston Street past the former Book Depository Building, which now holds the JFK Museum.  I can't see the grassy knoll and not think about the events that took place there.  There is a mark in the street at the spot where the presidential limousine was at the time the shot was fired. 

I was a senior in high school on November 22, 1963.  It was the seventh period and I was in a study hall in the school library.  Miss Belk, our school counselor, came in and made the announcement.  "The President is dead."  My first memory is of how quiet the school hallway was as we went to clean out our lockers and head home for the weekend.  After school activities were cancelled, so a couple of my friends asked if they could have rides home.  A second impression is how different everything felt as we moved through the street.  On some street corners people just stood stunned. 

When I arrived home my dad was waiting in the driveway.  His office had closed early and he had taken the bus home.  His first words to me, "Church will be full on Sunday."  I must have had a puzzled look.  My dad had lived through World War II and knew that in a time of national crisis people turned to their faith. 

I was a paperboy during my high school days.  I delivered the morning paper, The Detroit Free Press.  I woke up at five every morning and delivered over one hundred and fifty papers.  The morning of November 23, 1963 is etched in my mind, for a number of reasons.  I was still in shock, and on top of that the weather was eerie.   Heavy storms had moved through the previous evening and the streets were littered with tree limbs and other debris.  The clouds were heavy and ominous, almost like in a Hitchcock movie.  In addition to my normal papers, an additional fifty copies of the morning edition had been left at our doorstep, with a note that I was to sell them on a street corner after I had completed my route.  Within fifteen minutes of arriving at the corner of East Warren and Outer Drive, the papers were gone.

Our family stayed glued to the television over the next three days.  It was like Walter Cronkite became part of our family.  Along with the rest of the nation, we mourned.  My parents were not democrats, but that did not stop us from grieving, especially as we saw the Presidents children.  Even my favorite radio station, WXYZ, played somber music rather than the usual top forty hits.  My father was correct: the church  was full on Sunday.  I can still picture chairs lining the aisle and in the narthex. 

If you lived through the events of 11/22/63, I am sure you too have memories.  I sincerely believe that it is important to share them with those who were not alive at that pivotal moment in our nations history.  In my blog next week I will share why that event was pivotal for me and why I think it was a turning point for our nation as well.

Passing the torch does not just mean the legacy of faith, but our national heritage as well.