Grand Parenting 104

We have four grandsons and each one is unique.  The youngest is Daniel Paul Seale.  He is our daughter and son-in-law’s first born.  It had been a few years since we had a baby around, but I quickly remembered my role as grandpa.  We are blessed to have all our grandkids relatively close by and twice blessed to have Daniel with us one day a week.  I am the one who sings silly songs and takes him on long walks.  At almost fifteen month, he also wants to be my helper when I am working in the yard.  He learned quickly where the hose is kept and knows how to turn the faucet on.  When he gets outside the first thing he does is pick up the watering can and head for the hose. 

Daniel is different from our other grandsons, however.  He is definitely going to be a digital native.  Put him in the family room and the first thing he does is look for the TV remote.  We thought he could satisfy him by giving him an old remote, minus the batteries.  He excitedly took it and went over to the TV and started pushing buttons.  When nothing happened the device was quickly dis-guarded.  The boy knows the difference.  It is the same thing with my iPhone.  I gave him my old phone, but when it didn’t light up when he pushed the button he had no use for it.  I do not recall our older grandsons even knowing what a remote or mobile device was when they were his age.

Such is the world today. Today’s kids are born into a world where technology is a way of life.  Our oldest grandson, Andrew, is fourteen and has his own cell phone.  His brothers have their own iPads.  When they come to stay overnight they bring the devices along and stay in touch with mom and dad and their siblings via facetime.  Yes, they do play games on those mobile devices but Peter and Amy have established limits and they live by those even when their parents are out of sight.

There are some parallels with Daniel, however.  He will sit and look at books with you, and when he is tired he wants to be cuddled.  Meals and snack time are always entertaining and yes he does need to have his diaper changed regularly.  There is another big similarity.  Daniel longs for security.   When he is scared he cries and wants to be held.  That’s okay, because it is a scary world that he and I live in.  These days I want to curl up in the arms of my Heavenly Father.  When I first heard of the mass shooting in Las Vegas my response was to long for Jesus presence in my life and in the lives of those directly affected. 

The most important role that I have as grandfather is to make sure Daniel is not just aware of the security and hope we possess in Jesus but to see it acted out in a real way.  In addition to the biblical stories, he needs to hear my faith story.  God has brought me through the tough time, just like he will deliver him from those times as well.

Do College Students Understand the First Amendment?

College campuses have a reputation for being fertile ground for discussion and debate when it comes to issues of the day.  Public universities in particular are viewed as being a place where those with alternative views and perspectives cannot only have a voice but find others who share their perspectives.  As a result a university community might not only have a Young Republican and Young Democrat organizations but clubs representing extreme perspectives like Socialism and Communism.  We expect the same kind of atmosphere today.  After all the current generation of college students grew up have a reputation of being tolerant and open-minded. 

A recent survey of college students seems to indicate the exact opposite might be true.  The study was done by John Villasenor, a Brookings Institution senior fellow and University of California at Los Angeles professor.  It was motivated by concerns about the “narrowing window of permissible topics” for discussion on campuses.  John Villasenor conducted a nationwide survey of 1,500 undergraduate students at four-year colleges.

The Back Lives Matter movement began as a response to what many saw as the intentional targeting of Blacks by police officers.  It was to be expected that there would be protest and rallies on college campuses.  It was a cause many young people identified with.  The conflict arose when individuals with the opposite perspective wanted to express their views on campus.  Many universities cancelled the appearance of White Supremacist on their campuses because they feared a violent response.  If John Villasenor’s study is correct they had a reason to be concerned.  One in five of the college students polled responded that it was “acceptable to use violence to disrupt a controversial speaker.  Over half of those polled felt it was acceptable “shout over controversial speakers so they can’t be heard.”

Today’s young people might have a reputation for being tolerant and desiring to be politically correct but that open-mindedness only goes so far.  When pushed, many college students will strike back.  In such situation using violence is permissible. And we are left to ask, “Where did this come from.”  Is it possible this is a learned behavior?  Could we, as older adults, encouraged this behavior by our response to view points and perspectives that run counter to our traditions or value systems? 

As a society I believe we all need to listen more and talk less.  We also need to respect those who hold different beliefs, perspectives and value systems.  We do not need to agree with someone to love them and respect them.  In the process they might begin to see Jesus in us.  Remember Jesus’ words to Nicodemus, “The Son of Man came not to condemn the world but that the world might be saved through him.”  (John 3:17)   Perhaps we need to condemn less and practice grace more.

Religious or Spiritual?

Many years ago I led numerous Bible studies using the book How to be a Christian without Being Religious by Fritz Ridenhour.  The book was a survey of Paul’s Epistle to the Romans in an insightful, yet easy to comprehend manner.  Fritz Ridenour’s premise was obvious.  There is a big difference between giving the outward signs of being religious, going to church and wearing a cross, and walking the path of discipleship. The Gospel should not only be applied to our lives, but should spread throughout our lives and impact all our relationships.

I thought of Fritz Ridenour’s book as I read a new report from Pew Research.  The debate between being “religious” and “spiritual” continues to this day.  In the current context, religious people would include practicing Christians who attend church and carry their Bibles.  Spiritual individuals believe in a “supreme being” and might even pray but have little use for organized religion.   According to the latest data from Pew Research, a growing number of American fall into the latter category.  It is easy to see this as a disturbing trend.  It is shown in the reality that mainline denominations are losing members and one church after another faces the challenge of continuing its ministry as attendance declines. 

From my perspective this is more of a challenge, than it is a tragedy.  The challenge lies in being Jesus’ disciples in a broken and lost world.  The fact that a good percentage of the people we meet each day consider themselves spiritual needs to seen as a positive.  The challenge comes in putting aside our “religious” expectations and focusing on the Gospel.  Today’s teens and young adults long for authenticity.  Religious traditions and practices mean little to them unless they are applied to daily life.

That is the challenge.  How do we pass the torch of faith and values in a way that is going to impact the lives of the next generation?  It will not happen if we only have fellowship with our “church” friends.  It means stepping out of our comfort zone into the world of contemporary culture.  It requires us being Jesus in a broken world. 

Reformation 500: Where Have We Gone Wrong

Where have we gone wrong?  It was a question I was moved to ask as I read the recent report from Pew Research.  As we get ready to celebrate the 500^th Anniversary of the Protestant Reformation staff at Pew Research polled American to gain an insight into how people view the Reformation and the biblical perspective Martin Luther and other reformers espoused.   Obviously we have not gotten the word out effectively.  According to the poll only 17% of mainline Protestants believe that Jesus is the only way to salvation.  Even more shocking is the 53% associate good works with salvation.  While it is difficult to know what portion of those surveyed are Lutheran, it is still shocking to me that so many who view the Reformation as a historically significant event miss the whole point.

My experience tells me that even some “good Lutherans” get confused.  I remember my experience years ago with the Kennedy evangelism approach.   People I spoke with were quick to respond “yes” when asked about their hope for eternal life.  When it came to the question of “how” their response most often was, “I have tried to lead a good life.”  Many of those interviewed had grown up in the Lutheran Church but still were clinging to the idea that “I must have to do something.”

When writing curriculum, whether it was for a Bible class, Sunday school or confirmation, I was taught to make sure the Gospel was clearly presented in each lesson.  When I am asked to preach, I always make sure that the story of salvation is stated clearly.  You never know when someone might be hearing it for the first time.  In discussing faith with others I always err on the side of caution when talking about grace and God’s unconditional love for us.

I know a lot of Lutheran communities are planning special service to celebrate the 500 Anniversary of the Reformation.  I guess that is okay, but I think the best way we can celebrate is by being Gospel-Centered in our dealings with people, especially the lost and those who might be different from us.  

That Dreaded Jury Duty?

Maybe I am weird, but I actually don’t mind being called for jury duty.  I see it as my duty, and usually come home with some interesting stories to tell.  Aside from shopping at Walmart (something I do not enjoy), I can think of few places where I can see such a cross-section of society.  I know I am going to meet some interesting people while waiting to be called, and in those long waits in the hallway.  

After all the years of rejection, I actually got to serve on a jury a few years ago.  It was a memorable experience, and great study of group dynamics.  It took us one day to reach a verdict and then three days of deliberation trying to determine the sentence.  There might even be a book based on the case since one of the members of the jury was a retired police detective who now writes crime novels.  In spite of the tension and differences of opinion we left with a sense of accomplishment.  

I thought of all this yesterday when I read a new report from Pew Research.  According to a recent poll, 67% of Americans still equate jury duty with something you do as a civic duty.  Older adults (65+) are most likely (78%), while only 50% of young adults (18-29) held that opinion.  Around 70% of baby boomers and members of generation X view jury duty as a civic responsibility. It is estimated that only about 15% of Americans actually receive a jury summons each year, and only about 5% of us actually get to serve on a jury.

So if most of us see it as sign of good being a good citizen, why all the moaning and groaning when we receive that jury summons?  What message are we sending when we complain publicly about being called to serve?  That is especially the case when the audience might include children, teens and young adults.  I might add that our comments about paying taxes and obeying the traffic laws might also send the wrong message.  One concern about millennials and generation Z (those born since 2000) is that they do not have of sense of national pride as older adults.  It is not enough to just teach American history, we need to be underscoring the responsibilities that go with it.  Even out casual comments might sent the wrong message.

With Teens it has to be Personal

“How many kids showed up?”  It was a question I knew I would be asked after every event during my years in youth ministry.  Sometimes it was the senior pastor on Monday morning, other times it was my own family when I got home.  Youth ministry is not unique on that account.  We tend to evaluate a church based on the average Sunday attendance, but, lots of folks in the sitting in the pew does not always guarantee they are growing spiritually.  We can plan an event that attracts a flock of teens but if the experience does nothing to further their relationship with Christ it is hard to call it youth ministry.

It took me a long time to learn the lesson; high numbers do not mean success.  It is all about relationships; my relationship with the people and ultimately their relationship with Jesus.  That has become even more so in youth ministry today.  Contemporary teens are over-programed and frequently stressed.   Their lives can become so full that they have little time for regular youth activities church.  By the time they are juniors and seniors we might see very little of them, other than Sunday morning.  As a result the participation numbers are down.  We have fewer kids and less time to work with those that we do have.  Still the door is open even for a relationship with kids who do not attend youth activities.   

Youth ministry has always been about relationships.   Probably the only difference is that now relationships are often not face to face.  Social media and the ability to text and facetime make it possible for kids to contact us 24/7.  All of this makes me a little envious.  In the days of landlines and postcards, daily contact with the kids in the youth group was near impossible.  If I got a call from a teen in the middle of the day it was probably not a good things; it either meant there was an emergency or they were in trouble.  Now kids can text their youth minister just to tell them “Hi” or to let them know they “Aced” their biology exam. 

Come to think of it, we all should look for opportunities to stay in touch with teens this way.  I never thought the day would come when I would get text messages from my grandson, Andrew, but that day is here.  What an opportunity!  But our communication with teens and young adults should not be limited to our grandchildren.  If there are young people in our lives, we need to show them we care.  Part of that comes from connecting on social media and letting them know they can contact us.  Greeting them at church and showing an interest in their lives and interest is a great way.  Showing up at their sporting events, concerts and other activities is another.  

It should especially be the case for those involved in ministry.  Every student should have their youth minister, DCE or one of the volunteer leaders on their contact list on their mobile devices.  It starts already in confirmation class.  Do you have a question or concern?  Text me.  Facing a tough decision and need someone to talk to, let me know.   

How many kids showed up?  No, how many kids have you had contact with this week? That should be the way we evaluate our ministry to teens.

Honestly, Doubt is a Reality

One thing I appreciate about most millennials is their honesty.  Once they feel comfortable with you, they will tell you exactly how they feel about an issue. Unfortunately, that is often not the case with many adults.  Granted there are some people who are opinionated.  Those folks are quick to get on their soapboxes concerning issues they are passionate about. Regrettably, that is not the case with many adults.  Most of us are satisfied with surface conversations, talking about the weather or our favorite sports team.  Think about it.  When was the last time you had a deep, heart to heart, conversation with a friend.

A recent report from The Barna Group indicates that doubt and fear about their faith is more prevalent among adult Christians than we might think.  Almost two-thirds of the adults polled for the study indicates that they had experienced doubt concerning their faith and even the existence of God.  If that is indeed the case, there are a lot of us who are hiding our deepest thoughts and concerns.  We do not talk about those uncertainties because we do not want people to think less of us.  As a result we play the religious game.  We put on a facade that we are confident and sure of our faith, when in reality fears and doubt are buried within us. 

If we can just open the door to a discussion about those doubts and fears we might not just create an atmosphere of honesty but an environment where millennials would feel welcome.  It is time for us to change the image that young people have of the church.  God’s desire is not for a worship community that focuses on spirituality but on brokenness.  That is why confession and absolution are such an important element when we gather as a community of faith.  God loves us, even amidst our doubts and fears.