Learning to Change The World

Eleven years ago I was immersed in my job as a high school counselor.  I spent my time trying to help students work through personal issues, make wise choices and to stay academically focused.  I guess I was aware that the students had changed, but I don't recall the term millennials being part of my vocabulary.  While I was aware of a societal shift, I really didn't think about the how and why.  I certainly didn't consider the long-term implications.  Fortunately, other people were.  Our son Mark and his wife, Kristen, are moving to a new apartment this weekend.  As part of the process he decided to get rid of some books.  One of them ended up in my hands, Generation 2K, What Parents and Others Need to Know about the Millennials.     Most shocking was the copyright date, 1999.  The author, Wendy Murray Zoba, was very aware of the new generation.  Wendy was an associate editor for Christianity Today and she used the resources of that publication to do some of the initial research on those born after 1980.

Other people were aware of millennials.  My wife was recently going through old papers.  One thing she came across was notes from the summer of 2002.  Our daughter, Katie, was getting ready for her freshmen year at Texas Christian University.  She and Barb had attended the orientation.  Barb's notes, "Millennials (ages 3-21): Sensory -emotional age, building relationships and believe they can make a difference."    The folks at TCU, like other college leaders across the country, realized that their student population was changing.  It was about that time that TCU changed their marketing slogan to, "Learning to Change the World," an obvious nod to a generation that "believed they can make a difference" (see my wife's notes above).

It's one thing to label millennials and even begin to attach characteristics to them as a generation, but it's a whole different issue when we realize the impact that they are having on our culture. On the negative side we can talk about the way our values have shifted on issues like same sex marriage.  On the positive side we can relate to their inclination to become involved in service to others.  I would also hope that we be disturbed over the fact that many of them have turned a cold shoulder to mainline Christianity.  When it  comes to this last issue, I would pray that we would find a need to react to it, rather than run from it.  We need to seek ways to relate to teens and young adults and try to be messengers of hope, rather than prophets of doom.  Maybe we need to take a lesson from TCU and learn to change the world.

Whistleblowers: A Throwback to the Sixties?

I am a child of the sixties.  My generation will always be known as the protest generation.  The Viet Nam War gave birth to the peace movement.  Blatant segregation brought about boycotts and protests.  We were also just starting to learn what we were doing to our environment, resulting in major changes in the way we live.  My college class, The 69ers, was known as the rebels.  I think the University still tries its best to ignore us.  We brought dancing to the campus for the first time, probably because our off-campus parties were getting out of hand.  We thumbed our nose at school policy and elected a married homecoming queen.  Later in the school years a sit-in of the office of the Dean of Students was organized. 

I thought about that as I perused last week's Time Magazine.  The cover article was on the current breed of millennial protesters.  Today they are called whistle blowers, as they bring to light the way in which our government intrudes into the private lives of citizen.  There is much debate over their actions, with some even labeling them traitors.  Indeed there probably are more parallels between millennials and baby boomers than either generation wants to acknowledge.  Both tend to be  somewhat altruistic and self-absorbed at the same time.  There is a desire to "make a difference" among today's young folks, much the same as there was for my generation.  The problem comes when things are taken too far.  Boycotting a particular store, wearing a "peace symbol, and even occupying the dean's office is one thing.  Burning down  the army recruiting office or endangering the lives of innocent people is a whole different issue. 

Before we are quick to judge the actions of today's militants, we need to reflect back on the "sins of our youth."  Their motives might be the same as ours. They see what they view as an injustice and desire to make a difference.  I suspect the enemy within us already knows they are being watched and monitored.   That in itself is a step in the right direction... but I probably shouldn't say anymore because I just never know who might be reading my blog.

Remember:It is Social Media

I was reminded twice in the last week that Facebook can be a very dangerous thing.  Don't get me wrong, I not only enjoy social media but I have found it a great way to share my ministry with others.  We do, however, need to be judicious in how we use it.  The first incident was a major news story in Dallas.  While the second incident did not make the news (it came via a friend) the impact might be more disconcerting.

April Sims was a 23 year old 911 operator for the City of Dallas.  She was on the job only a few months.  She was hired after the city had received criticism for slow response.  As a result they hired numerous new operators.  April seemed to be a great candidate since she seemed to be young, bright and enthusiastic.  She also evidently came with a strong racial bias.  That is what got her in trouble.  She posted her comments about that particular racial group and their lack of rational thinking on Facebook.  She also violated city policy by posting comments on some of her work experience.  Needless to say, her career as a 911 operator was short.  Since she was a recent hire and on probation, she could not appeal her bosses decision. 

In the second case, a father was fired because of comments his teenage daughter made about his employer.  As my friend related, the dad shared with his family some of his frustration at work and that he might be seeking a different job.  Daughter took the information and ran with it.  "I guess my dad's boss is being an a _ _.  Hope he soon finds someone who appreciates him."  You never how far the web of social media extend.  Somehow... Some way... The boss caught wind and dad was shown the door sooner than he would have liked.

I have come to the conclusion that there is no set answer to the question: When are kids old enough to use social media?  In my opinion, there are some adults who don't possess the needed level of maturity, or maybe that is common sense.    When it comes to teenagers, we need to remember that we are the parent and they are the child.  Hence their use of social media should only come with our consent.  It should be directly related to their level of maturity and their track record for making good decisions.  If our response is "no," we need to back that up with specific examples of poor choices.  Secondly: If we grant teens the right to use Facebook and other social media, we need to establish some guidelines.  Who are appropriate friends?  What picture are appropriate and what are not?  And yes, we will be checking periodically.  Last: keep it social.  If I go to a party or social gathering I will go out of my way to avoid people who I know have a political agenda.  If I want their opinion on an issue I will ask.  Otherwise, keep it to yourself.  Same thing with Facebook.  It is also not the place to make negative comments about other people. 

And yes, we do have the right to slip into the roll of consultant if we see adults, including our adult children, using social media in an inappropriate manner.  Remember: Consultants offer advice based on their experience and expertise, and they back-off. Ultimately the individual has to make the decision on how they are going to use the information. 

Airline Passengers who Never Got Off the Ground

Hurray for AirTran Airways for putting a group of unruly teens in their place and teaching us all an important lesson when it comes to air safety.  In case you missed the story, let me fill you in on the  details.  A group of 101 teens and their 8 chaperons were kicked off a flight from New York to Atlanta because some of the students would not comply with the FAA policy that all cell phones must be "off " during take-off and landings.  The kids were from Yeshiva of Flatbush Academy in Brooklyn.  In addition to continuing to use their phones, some of the students refused to take their seats and buckle-up.  First the flight attendants and then the captain himself asked the students to comply.  When they refused, he ordered the plane back to the gate where the kids were removed from the plane.  Air Tran did rebook them on later flights but the group could not travel together and some kids had to travel to Atlanta through Milwaukee. 

I have experienced this issue from both sides.  I have travel by plane with a group of teens.   Two things I always stressed: Listen to and follow the instructions, and respect the other passengers.  I have never had a problem.  I have also been a passengers on planes where groups of teens were on board.  I don't recall ever being offend or bothered by their presence.  My only negative experience came with a group of adults who "partied to hardy."  A flight attendant threatened to have the captain contact the airport to have police waiting for our arrival.  At that point an air marshal, who just happened to be on the plane, flashed his badge and things calmed down in a hurry. 

There is more here than just a lesson to obey the FAA rules.  There is also the issue of respect for authority and being courteous to others.  Unfortunately some adults still struggle with the same issue.  Almost weekly there are news report of unruly passengers being removed from planes, but most of us have learned to comply,  When the order is given to "Turnoff all electronic devises and return seat backs  to the upright and locked position," we have learned to accede. 

I wish the same pattern existed on our highways.  Speed limit signs and double white lines seem to be irrelevant.  I don't think putting flight attendants behind the wheel of police cars is the solution.  The answer lies in the way we respect and treat the rules and those who are there to enforce them.  My guess what those students from Brooklyn really lacked was adults in their lives who modeled appropriate and respectful behavior.

Lessons Learned at Graduation

It's predictable this time of year that there is going to be at least one news story about a student that is banned from graduation because of a violation of school policy.  It becomes a news event because Johnny or Jeannie's parents decide to sue the district in order to have the ruling reverse.  Typically, the student in question is a "good kid" who has no history as a recalcitrant. 

This year, the student's name is Lauren Green.  She is a senior at McKinney High School.   Lauren is an honor student (4.0 GPA) who has already earned 30 hours of college credit.  She has never been a discipline problem, according to her mom.  Lauren seems to have made only one mistake in her school experience.  She got aboard a party bus bound for the prom with eleven other students. When the students staggered off the bus at their destination, they were busted.  According to school official, all of them admitted consuming alcohol and some them even listed the other student who were on board and also drinking.  School policy banned them from the prom and also required thirty days attending an alternative school.  Students who are enrolled in an alternative program are not allowed to participate in school activities.  No walking across the stage on graduation night.  Her diploma is in the mail. Mom's response: Sue the school district.  Last Friday the judge appointed to hear the case through it out.  He noted that the court had no authority to over-rule a school district policy.  Chalk one up for the system.  It probably says something for "sweet Lauren" that she wasn't even in the courtroom.   It was just mom and her little sister, who appeared to be there for moral support.  We can only assume Lauren was where she belonged, in school. 

It is  a parental instinct to come to our children's defense is we feel they have been treated unfairly.  I have felt my share of parental wrath.  There are a couple of words of wisdom that apply here.  They come not only from my experience as an educator, but as a parent.  No teen or young adult is perfect.  They will from time-to-time make poor decisions.  Secondly, sometimes when poor decisions are made there are consequences.  While I understood the source of  parental anger, I was always offended when parents accused me of not treating their precious child fairly, or worse yet wanted to eliminate the consequences. 

By the way, the same two principles apply to adults: We all make mistake and sometimes those mistakes come with consequences.  In this case the consequence is a mom with egg on her face.