Social Networking

Our cyber society seems to have created a whole new set of issues. Many parents have brought up the topic of cyber bulling, using the internet or cell phone to post inappropriate or intimidating comments about others. I have also heard complaints about kids who run up high charges for texting.

I have a Facebook account myself. It's a great way to stay in touch with friends and family, but it's hard not to be concerned about some of the pictures posted by young friends. Some border on being provocative, even suggestive.

It seems to me that a lot of the problems could be solved just by parental supervision. Parents need to constantly moniter what is posted and what is being discussed. We had a social network when I was growing up. I remember evenings when there were as many as a dozen kids gathered on, or around, our front porch. Was the conversation always appropriate? No way, and neither was the behavior at times. But my parents were always within ear shot. Sometimes my mom's face would appear in the door and all it took was her look. Other times my dad would open the door and let us know our conversation was inappropriate. That was quickly followed with an apology. There were other nights my parents joined us. Nobody complained or left. It was an accepted fact that it was their house.

Secondly, there needs to be guidelines. If there's a problem that could mean restrictions. Maybe that means limiting the time on the internet, or controling the number of texts allowed per week. Sure, it might be met with resistence but parents need to remember who is in charge.

Lastly, there needs to be conversation. I know a lot of parents who respond to their kids text with another text. Why not ask for a phone call? It is a cell phone! Why not ask them to call instead of sending a text. That opens the door for a conversation. The tone of voice could also alert us to a potential problem. Parents need to look for other opportunities to have a conversation with their kids as well.

The cyber world we live in is a reality. It is what it is. We can't change it and go back to a simpler time. We can, however, control the influence it has on our lives.

Mistakes are Good

Another national publication has focused on the issue of over-protective parents, aka helicopter parents. The cover story of this week's Time Magazine is The Case Against Over-Parenting.

Some of this over-protectiveness is out of concern for their child's safety and welfare. It is an evil world and we hear daily of children who have been victimized. The Time article also focuses on another root cause for parents to be over-protective. They can't handle their kids failure.



We've heard stories of parents who take it to the extreme when their child fails to make the team or cheerleading squad. I've had college admissions folks tell me that a required skill is the ability to distinguish which admissions essays have been written by someone other than the student applicant. It runs much deeper than this, however.



The Time article reports on one Kansas elementary school that has issued a "no rescue" policy. It was instituted after the principal noticed a table in the office covered with lunch boxes and notebooks brought in my parents whose child had left them behind. "The tipping point," the prinicipal noted, "was when a mom rushed in with a necklace meant to complete her daughters coordinated outfit.

Lessons from NASCAR

I am a NASACR fan. Some, including members of my own family, think I am obsessed with it. I do have my share of NASCAR apparel, including a somewhat colorful racing jacket. I also have large collection of 1/24 scale cars and a race scanner I take to the track. I have an autographed picture of my favorite driver, Bobby Labonte, hanging in my office. I have the link to his website listed as a favorite on my computer. I also know his vital statistics, his family history and the name of his wife, that would be Donna, and kids, that would be Robbie and Madison.

I guess my love for NASCAR, and racing in general, goes back to growing up in The Motor City, Detroit. I have always enjoyed watching races but when they built a new track only 45 minutes from my house, it was just too convenient. When I attended my first race, I was hooked. There is no adrenalin rush like watching, and hearing, forty-three stock cars take the green flag.

Some things I like about NASCAR: The parking is free and they let you carry in your own coolers with food and drinks. More, importantly, I like the family values. The NASACR Circuit really is a city on wheels. The drivers and their families travel together and stay clustered together in their motor homes at the track. Before the race you can see the families hanging out together. They support each other and remain friends away from the track.

There is also a spiritual side to NASCAR. What other major sports begins each race with an invocation (prayer), before the singing of the National Anthem. This isn't just a token "nod to God" either. The Gospel is almost always presented. Raceway Ministries meets the spiritual needs of the NASCAR family as they cross the country. Chapel services are held each Sunday and many of the race teams include Bible study as part of their weekly schedule.

So why am I including this information on my blog? NASCAR was in town last weekend and I had the opportunity to take my son, Peter, and two oldest grandsons, Andrew and Caleb, to the track for the first time. We had an awesome night watching the Truck Series. I am sure we will be going back many more times. I think they have caught my passion. Even two year old, Jonathan, will line up his cars and then announce, "Gentleman, Start Your Engines."

I only pray that I am even more passionate about sharing my faith in Jesus Christ, with the boys. It's great to have a sport where my interest and my faith are connected.

Helicopter Parents

A column in today's Dallas Morning News, Parents, Park Your Helicopters," caught my eye. I have always enjoyed reading Steve Blow's thoughts. Today was great example.

Steve reflected on a visit with a friend who is an educator. The person used the term Helicopter parents, a reference to those who feel an intense need to be overly protective of their children. Such individual feel a need to swoop in anytime their child is in trouble and intervene on their behalf. Being concerned about your child is one thing, having the desire to step in everytime they are in trouble is another. The later is just not healthy.

During a workshop I was doing on Sunday, one dad shared an experience from his work. He is in a position where he is involved in interviewing recent college graduates who are applying for jobs. He noted that it is not uncommon to have a parent accompany them on the interview. That is being a "Helicoptor Parent!"

I truly believe that we raise our kids to let them go. Our goal is for them to be successful, self supporting adults. The best way to do that is to set them free to set their own goals and make their own decisions. It means transitioning to the role of consultant, rather than manager as our children develop.