A Culture of Bullying

I do not talk about it much, but I was bullied when I was in grade school.  I distinctly remember being a victim while in 5^th and 6^th grades.  Reflecting back, I can understand why I was an easy target.  I was at the bottom on the food chain academically and unusually tall making my very uncoordinated.  My name did not help; my nick name was “cow brain.”  Then there was our family car.  While other dads drove Ford, Chevrolets or Dodges, my dad drove a 53 Willys.  Fortunately, the taunts stopped when I got to junior high and a couple of the antagonists transferred to other schools.  Still, I carry the memories with me.  As a school counselor had my radar up and watched for any students who might be a victim of bullying.

While bullying is still an issue a school environment, it probably carries more impact today.   While most of my classmates were aware of my plight, thanks to social media it might appear to today’s victims that the whole world knows.  Instagram is the social media site favored my most teens  It is projected that 80% or more of today’s middle and high school students are on Instagram.  The social media site allows individuals to make anonymous comment, and even form groups for the purpose of taunting others.  Coupled with the reality that everyone else seems to have a perfect image online.  After all, who is going to post uncomplimentary pictures of themselves.  Social media is a blessing and a curse.  It is no surprise that recent studies point to the reality that teens who are bullied are twice as likely to attempt suicide. 

Parents and school personnel cannot shoulder the responsibility for stopping bullying.  All of us need to have our eyes open watching for signs of bullying.  One sign is teens who seem to be isolated or by themselves.  It is especially important that we watch for those indicators in teens that are close to us.  Even as older adults we can help by offering encouraging words and by lifting them up in prayer.  We can also combat the issue by not becoming part of the culture of bullying ourselves.  Our words should always convey love, not hate and intimidation.

The Future of the Church

As I write this I am sitting in the lobby of a hotel in Minneapolis.  This place has been my home for the last week as I served on the adult care team for the LCMS National Youth Gathering.  I am mentally and physically exhausted.  I have walked an average of 18,000 steps (about 7 miles) over the last five days.  During that time I have ministered to more folks than I can count as I help folks walk through the highs and lows of a youth gathering.  I have also reconnected with numerous friends from various chapters of my past. 

I have come away convinced of two things: the future of the church is bright and youth gatherings are worth the investment of both time and energy.  I have long maintained the mission trips and youth gatherings are important cornerstones in building the future church.  They can be life changing events for the young people who participate and a shot of encouragement to those adults who minister to them.  While I have no statistics to go on, I suspect a good percentage of the kids who attended this gathering will end up in professional ministry.  Another good percentage will pursue other careers but still reflect on this experience as they become adult disciples. 

Make no mistake: youth gatherings are not cheap.  As part of the gathering staff, my expenses including travel, lodging and meals, have been covered.  Multiply that by the two hundred community life builders and you begin to get the idea.  Putting together a program is also expensive.  Kids will be turned off if the media, lights and sound are not first-rate.  Toby Mac was the opening night concert.  Not a cheap act but well worth every penny, as shown by the response from the youth. 

Bottom Line: The church needs to continue support these events. Plans are already underway for the 2022 gathering in Houston.  I would encourage you to support your church’s youth ministry as well.  Make sure both the volunteer and professional staff are supported and cared for.  Support any fund raiser the youth group sponsors, they really do help defray the cost for events life this.  Pray daily for the teens and those who minister to them.  Most importantly: get engaged in ministering to a youth as well.  If you have a role in your church, consider who will be doing that in ten years.  Unless we mentor young people the church will lack the people resources it needs. 

What Will Our Kids Chuckle About?

I spent last week in Detroit helping my brothers and their spouses move my ninety-six year old uncle out of the house he has lived in for the last sixty plus years.  Uncle Don is a World War II Vet who never married.  Aside from my mom, who is in a nursing home and a sister who lives in Maryland, we are his only family.  Growing up it was like having a second dad.  He has done so much for me over the years it was easy to say “yes” when it was time to circle the wagons.  We have been after him for years to move out of the “old neighborhood” in the city. His block is still pretty stable and he has great neighbors but the surrounding streets are filled with abandoned and burned out homes.  

Uncle Don did make it to our 50 Anniversary celebration a few weeks back but left with a broken arm after a fall.  Independent soul that he is, he went back house but before too many days ended up calling 911.  Now he is in a rehabilitation facility.  Along the way his doctor told him no more independent living.  I guess we are grateful he finally listened to someone.  We moved his basic furniture into a one bedroom apartment in the same senior living community our mom lived in for almost fifteen years.  The good news is he has a safe place to move into once he is released from the hospital.  The bad news is we still have a house full of stuff to sort through before we can think about having an estate sale and then putting the house on the market. 

We have been down this road before when mom and dad closed out their home sixteen years ago.  Not an easy task.  Folks who survived the great depression tend to save things not knowing when they might need them.  We filled two dumpsters with “stuff” my dad in particular felt he might “need” someday.  That fact, coupled with the reality that almost everything you picked up has a memory attached to it makes it a real labor of love.  Thank goodness we can listen to “sixties music” and laugh as we work.

There are some lessons to be learned here: Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and when it is offered accept it.  Secondly, think before you put something away thinking you might need it in the future.  It might just be the stuff your kids chuckle about before tossing it in the dumpster.