Peace on Earth and in the Family.

I spent most my years in ministry serving local churches.  I was a director of Christian education, and the holidays were always a hectic time. There was a Sunday school Christmas service to plan, and parties for various groups. I also usually organized the night of Christmas caroling.  During many of those years I also sang in the church choir, and the holiday season always involved extra practices. We always lived some distance from our extended families.  That required traveling, usually on the day after Christmas, in order to see family.  I always saved a weeks vacation for the time between Christmas and New Years.  One year the pastor I was in team ministry with confided to me that he was jealous that I could take the week off.  He went on to tell me that Christmas and the days following were some of his most stressful days.  I guess my puzzled look called for an explanation.  "My counseling load goes up during the holidays.  Families members who do not get along the rest of the year are suddenly forced to spend time together," he explained.  Over time I experienced the realities of family conflicts during the holidays.  I got involved in my share of holiday counseling.  The unfortunate reality is a family holiday party can often be very different than the "Peace on earth" the angels proclaimed.

A report I read  last week caused me to think about family time and people's expectation for Christmas.  The article was published by The Barna Group and included the results of a recently conducted survey.  The intent was to determine people's expectation for this holiday season and to determine how they intended to celebrate this year.   91% of those polled said they plan to celebrate Christmas and 70% said they did so for religious reasons.  When it came to how they intended to celebrate the holiday the number one response (72%) was spending time with family.  The desire to be with the ones we love also seems to know no generational limits. From millennials to senior citizens, we look forward to celebrating Christmas.

Yes, some young people value family time and even desire to maintain tradition.  I recall the conversation I had with one female student during the week prior to Christmas break.  She was frustrated with her parents.  The reason: they had planned a skiing vacation that meant they would be in Colorado, and not at home Christmas Day.  She wanted to be in church Christmas Eve, rather than sitting by the fireplace in s ski lodge.  She wanted to around the tree on Christmas morning opening gifts, and not skiing down the slopes.  She was especially upset because she was a senior and knew the future years would bring lots of changes.

I would encourage you to cherish the family time this Christmas. I would also hope you will keep those family traditions.   It can be a stressful time, especially if it means welcoming home children or other relatives who might have made poor choices.   It can be a challenge to be hospitable with those who seem to have gone out of their way to alienate us the rest of the year.  Even if our values clash the rest of the year, we need to set those aside.  Let the peace of the Christ Child dwell in your heart and in your home.  Maybe the best way to get across the message of the Christ Child is practice unconditional love, especially during the holiday seasons.

Repeat the Sounding Joy

I still have a memory of the first time I sensed there really was a Christmas spirit.  I must have been in the fifth or sixth grade.  The example of holiday joy and bliss was someone who to that point I had an only had an adversarial relationship with.  He was the pharmacist who also owned the local drug store.  At that time we lived on Woodhall Street on the east side of Detroit.  The Woodhall Drug Store stood in the corner of East Warren and our street. The store only had two employees most of the time, the pharmacist and a grandmotherly type woman who ran the cash register up front.  When I walked into the store I always hoped she was on duty, because the owner seemed to have a sour disposition toward children.  The store had a candy counter, but that was not the real draw for me. They stocked Topps Trading Cards and I was serious customer; baseball cards and football cards, depending on the season.  When the regular clerk was at the register, it was service with a smile. When she was absent and the owner filled it, the experience was far less pleasant.  My small transactions, baseball cards were a nickel a pack in those day, seemed to be viewed as an interruption.  That was especially the case if he had to come out from his cage at the back of the store to meet my meager demands.

It was a couple of days before Christmas and the decorations had been hung about the store.  When I entered the store I immediately noted an empty counter at the front of the store.  I was not looking forward to dealing with "Mr Surly."  The bell over the door had announced my arrival, so he was already making his slow trek my way.  The expression on his face was dower and I sensed he saw my presence as an interruption.  I don't recall the item, but as he handed me my purchase I felt compelled to share some Christmas cheer.  "Merry Christmas," I proclaimed.  Much to my surprise for the first time in memory I saw the man smile.  "Merry Christmas to you too," he countered.   Lesson learned.

If there is to be a Christmas spirit, it must begin with us.  If you believe that the babe born in a manger is the Messiah; you have the Christmas Spirit.  If you believe that babe came to be your Savior from sin, death and the devil; you have the Christmas Spirit.  If you recognize that the story doesn't end at the manger, or the cross, but at an open tomb; you have the Christmas Spirit.  I would encourage you to put aside the hustle and bustle that often comes with the season and focus on the real reason for the season.  Smile more. Share some cheer and if you are going to be generous with anything, make it Christmas joy.

Larry, Moe, Curly and Christmas

What is a Christmas tradition that your family has?  I was asked that question again last week.  We had gathered as a church family for dinner, as we do twice a month.  We are a small enough flock that we can meet in a home.  After dinner our host always has a question that we spend time responding to.  This time it was on family traditions.  Our son, Mark, who is also our pastor, had the opportunity to respond ahead of me.  His answer was predictable because it is the one our kids all like to laugh about.  It is simple, yet meaningful, tradition involving the magi in our manger scene.

It actually isn't my tradition; I learned it from one of my mentors.  I worked with Pastor Bill Huener during my years serving as a DCE at Immanuel Lutheran Church in Downers Grove, Illinois. Bill lived his life by the liturgical church year and celebrated every festival.  He also had traditions that accompanied each one.  Part of his Christmas celebration involved the three magi and the nativity scene.  The magi, our kids called them Larry, Moe and Curly, do not arrive at the creche until January 6, Epiphany.  Each year they begin their journey somewhere in the house east of where the manger scene is located.  Each day they move closer to the manger until they actually arrive on Epiphany. That is our way of celebrating the twelve days of Christmas.  It is also a reminder that the orthodox branch of the Christian Church celebrates Our Lord's birth on January 6th.  Out of respect for his orthodox neighbors, Bill always left all of his decorations up until the day after Epiphany.  I still do the same, even though to my knowledge my neighbors celebrate Christmas in December 25.

What traditions do you celebrate as a family?  Some involve food like scotcharoos or wassail, favorites at our house.  Others might involve a favorite song that is sung around the piano, or decorations that have special meaning.   While you are observing those traditions this year take time to share with your family the story behind the traditions.  Along the way remind them of the reason behind the seasons.  Advent, the four Sundays before Christmas, is a time of preparation when we reflect on the promise of the Savior and why he had to come into the world; namely our sinful nature. There really are twelve days in the Christmas season and it ends with Epiphany.  The Epiphany season runs from January 6 to Ash Wednesday.  During that time we contemplate the fact that the magi and others who met the Christ Child had a passion to share the Good News of his birth.

What Does Black Friday say About Us.

I have survived another Black Friday by sitting on the sidelines.  I recall the experience of a friend my age last Thanksgiving.  His son and family were out of town, so grandpa had the assignment of going to the store to purchase the big screen TV at a discount price.  He was waiting outside the store in plenty of time, but he was not prepared for the terror he was about to face.   I could sense the fear in in his voice days later as he described the aggressive, borderline violent, behavior of the other shoppers.  I don't even recall if he achieved his goal of hauling home the TV.  I was just glad he survived to tell the story.

The whole Black Friday tradition disturbs me on multiple levels.  I don't like what it says about our consumer driven culture.  We seem to want more and more, while wanting to pay less and less.  Then there is the aggressive nature to which some of us will go to get what we want.  Finally there is what is required of the store employees who have to stock the shelves and man the registers for the Black Friday shoppers.  For many that means giving up Thanksgiving family time. Maybe we are just taking advantage of those at the bottom of the workforce.   I recently read report that pointed out the retail employees are among the lowest paid employees in the country.  They rank right along side fast food workers.   It is not surprising that some Walmart employees picked this weekend to protest the way they are being paid and treated.

Just when I had thought I had heard everything I didn't want to hear about Black Friday an other news story caught me ear.  One of the Dallas TV stations sent a reporter to cover the shoppers camped outside a Best Buy store in Plano, Texas.  It was two night before the doors would open for Thanksgiving night bargains.  The problem was the tents were empty.  Seems people had pitched their tents and then gone about their business.  They had staked their spots at the front of the line, leaving those who wanted to play by the rules behind.  Those individuals were angry, and planned to confront the absentee shoppers.  I have not heard anymore, so I can only hope things worked out.

I am left wondering what all this says about our culture and its value system.  What kind of message are we sending to the world, much less the children who observe our behavior.

My Favorite Holiday

This coming week we will celebrate our National Day of Thanksgiving.  I have come to appreciate Thanksgiving Day to the point that it has become my favorite holiday.  I know that we are Easter People.  From a spiritual perspective the annual celebration of our Lord's Resurrection trumps every other holiday.  Christmas is, well Christmas, but quite frankly the schedule can wear me out.  So much goes into the preparation that I end up tired, and then have to take down all the decorations.  How I enjoy Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is about family and food.  When it comes to things I am thankful for, those are at the top of the list.  I am very grateful to live in a country where I have all my needs met.  I daily recognize how blessed I am.  I am well fed, and live in a comfortable home.  I am relatively healthy and have more clothes than I need.  I am part of a great family and am surrounded by friends who love me and accept me for who I am.  I am among the most blessed.

My plans for this year include lots of family time.  I will be walking in the Annual Dallas Turkey Trot with our daughter, Katie, and her husband, John.  Sometime Thursday afternoon Peter and his family will come over.  We plan to watch the TCU-Texas Football game that evening.  Mark and Kristen will join the celebration on Friday and we will celebrate the traditional Thanksgiving feast together.  I am sure along the way we will play some games and probably have at least one game of touch football in the yard. 

I pray that you and yours will have a blessed Thanksgiving.  Along the way take time to share with your family members,especially the kids, how grateful you are.  Your attitude of thanksgiving is another message that needs to be past to the next generation.

The Affluenza Epidemic

The Ethan Couch case won't go away.  Those who live outside the DFW Metroplex might not be familiar with Ethan Couch, so let me fill in the blanks.  Ethan was sixteen years old when he killed four people.  An hour before the accident Ethan stole two cases of beer from a Walmart.  At the time of the crash he was driving his dad's Ford F350 pick-up with seven friends along for the ride.  His blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit when he plowed into a disabled vehicle on a dark two-lane road.  The driver of the disabled vehicle, along with three bystanders who had stopped to help, were all killed.  One of those murdered by Ethan Couch was youth minister, Brian Jennings, who was on his way home from his son's high school graduation. Ethan and all his companions survived even though none were wearing seat belts.

The story does not end there.  During the trial a psychologist, testifying for the defense, stated that Ethan Couch was a victim of "affluenza."  In other words, he had been raised in a wealthy environment that had blinded him to the consequence of his behavior.  So was born a new term.  Affluenza: The inability to understand the consequences of ones actions because of financial privilege.  Ethan Couch was found guilty, but was not sentenced to jail.  Instead he was sent to a rehab program.  The accident was over eighteen months ago, and Ethan Couch is still in rehab.   This week it was announced that he has been moved to a ranch for troubled youth in West Texas. 

It's ironic that I first heard the latest chapter of this story today while driving on the Dallas North Tollway.  I have often referred to this highway as the "BMW Freeway."  For the wealthy residents of Collin Country (Frisco and Plano), it is their link to the city.  Today it was not just "Beamers," but Jaguars, a Porsche and yes a Ferrari.  The speed limit on the DNT is 70 but all of the them were exceeding it by a least 15 MPH.  An old man like me, who drives the speed limit in the center lane, feels at risk.  I view it as another example of "Affluenza."  I don't think any of those drivers have given a thought to the consequence should something, or someone get in their way.  I've driven by the scene of a few of those crashes.  It's not pretty.

But then, I should know something about Affluenza.  I have been infected with it too.  While perhaps not to the extent of Ethan Couch, if we live a typical American middle or upper class lifestyle we probably daily make decisions without thinking of the consequences.  It might be a simple thing like using a Styrofoam cup instead of a mug that can he reused, or buying clothing made in a sweat shop in some Third World country. 

The truth is, "affluenza" is real and we need to think of the consequences.  The members of the millennial generation are watching us.  We might talk about their expensive taste or consumer driven lifestyle but the unfortunate truth is they learned it from us.  Maybe now is the time to begin to make some changes. It's not to late to stop the "Affluenza" epidemic.

The End of the Millennials

It is no secret that the church has missed the boat when it comes to reaching millennials.  A majority those born during the last two decades of the twentieth century view the Christian Church as being insensitive and judgmental.  In their mind the Christian community has become an irrelevant voice.  We can debate any of the above, but the reality is less than one in four young adults who grew up in the church is still activity engaged in a Christian community.  That does not mean they do not have a faith.  Many still pray and read the Bible.  A majority still believe in God and even claim Jesus as their Savior, they just don't see mainline Christianity as a way to live that out. 

While we should be attempting to win back those who have wandered off, I think our focus should be on making a difference in the lives of those still in our midst.  I am writing about the high school youth who are members of our churches.  The current flock of teens is the last of the millennials to pass through our doors.  If they are still visible in our community we still have a chance to make a difference.  Even if they are not as engaged as we would like, we still have the opportunity to reach out and make a difference.

It begins with relationships.  For decades the church has relied on youth ministry professionals to take the lead in that effort.  Congregations have hired a youth pastor, or director of Christian education to gather the kids together and keep them engaged.  The staff person who heads the youth ministry department would then train a select few other adult volunteers in mentoring the teens.  If the numbers looked good, the church leaders assumed they were doing a good job.  That model no longer works.  The reality is it never was biblical.  The responsibility for passing on the heritage of faith should be shared by the entire community. 

For the next four years I would encourage you to move out of your comfortable pew and into the lives of the teenagers in your midst.  Instead of gathering around the coffee pot on Sunday morning, you need to be in the youth room, or wherever it is the teens are gathered.  If you notice that a young person who was once visible suddenly has disappeared, ask questions.  Reach out to them.  Write them a note, friend them on Facebook or send them a text.  Let them know you care about them.  Most of all; share you faith story. 

Polishing the Good Apples

I just finished reading the cover article in the most recent Time Magazine.   The story, titled Rotten Apples, approaches the issue of how difficult it is to fire bad teachers.  Much of the article focused on the State of California where teachers can receive tenure after as little as two years of experience. Once that happens the unions and teacher association make it almost impossible to terminate them.

While we all have heard stories of incompetent educators, I like to focus on the millions of teachers who are dedicated to educating America's youth.  As a retired educator, albeit in the private sector, I will admit a bias, but I also can draw on current experience.  I teach in our local school district as part of the Student Advancement Leadership Initiative (SALI), a program of LINC North Texas. Every other Friday I spend the day at our neighborhood middle school working with 7th and 8th graders.  I also am part of the parent nights that LINC hosts in other middle schools around our district.  As a result I have opportunity not just to work with teachers but partner with them.  From my experience they are not only competent, but extremely dedicated.  They also do their jobs with a smile, showing real concern and compassion for their students.

Yesterday I had a conversation with an individual that reinforced my impression.  He was seated next to me on the parking shuttle from the TCU football game .  Traffic was terrible, so believe me we had time to talk.  He was a school administrator at a high school in another school district in the DFW area.  He was curious about the SALI program and I was interested in hearing about his experience.  His number one concern was keeping competent teachers happy and employed. Low pay was not as much an issue as staff moral.  In his opinion many teachers feel under-appreciated.  They also function in a culture that expresses little esteem for them as educators. Teaching is not viewed as the honorable profession it once was.

We all know teachers.  In some cases they are friends, in other cases they teach our children and grand children.  In all cases, they need our support and encouragement.  I would encourage you to go beyond just kind words.  Do something for them. Give them a Starbucks gift card or box of candy. Write a note of thanks.  I still have a box full of thank you notes from parents that I received during my classroom days.  They still make great reading when I need encouragement.

Don't focus on the bad teacher, rather work to affirm and nurture the good ones.

Ebola is not the Only Thing We Should be Fearing

Dallas is finally known for something other than the city where President Kennedy was shot.  Thousands of people still venture downtown and gawk at the grassy knoll.  They tour the Six Floor Museum and, when traffic clears, have their pictures taken standing next to the "X" on Elm Street.  Now the focus is on Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital.  People want to know more about the hospital where the Ebola Virus first was discovered in America.  Dallas is now famous as the City that brought Ebola to the United States.  I am just back from ten days on the road.  When people found out I was from Dallas their first question was often about Ebola.  The whole country seems to be in an uproar over the Ebola Virus.  It is the number one story on the news.  I don't think I have experienced this kind of national panic since 9/11.  The fear following 9/11 I could understand, but fear of Ebola is another issue.

Here is my take: What are we afraid of?   Ebola is not an airborne virus.  Unless you have direct contact with a patient who actively has the virus there is no danger.  You are only exposed if have contact with the victim's body fluids.  I will give Dallas Mayor, Mike Rawlings, and County Judge, Clay Jenkins, credit.  They personally entered the apartment where the initial victim had been living in order to escort his family to a safe environment.  The two official were not wearing protect gear.  They walked in, greeted the family and left.  Mr. Jenkins even drove them to their new residence in his own car.  Both Mr. Rawlings and Mr. Jenkins get it.  There is no danger unless you touch the individual who has Ebola. 

I am familiar with infectious diseases and viruses.  I am in hospitals all the time.  I work two days a week as a hospital chaplain.  The hospitals I work with are long-term acute care facilities.  Many of the patients I see are on long-term antibiotics for various infections.  I have visited with patients who have MRSA and the West Nile Virus.  I also have learned to play by the rules.  I sanitize my hands before entering and when leaving any room.  When there is a sign on the door indicating isolation, I don a mask, and wear gloves and a gown.  I am not afraid!.  People need ministry and I go.  The health care professionals I work with, especially the nurses, therapists and aids, are my heroes.  They work daily in that environment, but do their jobs with no fear about what they are exposed to.  To my knowledge none of them has ever been infected. 

It's ironic that there is such an uproar over the Ebola virus.  Granted, it is a deadly virus and needs to be taken seriously, but the general public has no reason to fear.  It's sad that there is another virus that is infecting our country that no one seems to be concerned about.  It's sin!  We are all effected by the virus.   Many people will not even admit that they have it.  They are going to die in sin, and few of them seem to be concerned.  Unlike the Ebola Virus, where there is an antidote,   We can insure that people are protected from the disease of sin.  The answer is Jesus Christ and his message of Grace and Forgiveness.  If we live fearlessly as people of hope, we can make a difference.  We can tell the world that there is nothing to fear.  We are all going to die sooner or later, but that is not the end.    Spread the word.  Be people of hope and pass the torch. 

Bullying: Even You Can Do Something

I wonder whatever happened to Robbie Garrett (not his real name).  Robbie was in my physical education class freshman year in high school.  I didn't know Robbie very well because PE was the only class we had together.  I probably wouldn't still be thinking about Robbie except I have always felt sorry for him.  Robbie was bullied.  He had a nick name that I really cannot share.  Let's just say his anatomy had an unusual feature, and that is not something you want exposed in a boy's locker room. Not only was Robbie subject to verbal abuse, but physical abuse as well.  Towel snaps: need I say more.  I didn't take part, but like most observers of bullying I did not  intervene.  As is usually the case, I was just grateful it wasn't me, after all I had feet that looked like surfboards
9th Grade males can be brutal.  Robbie Garrett did not come back for sophomore year.  I don't know why, but it  it had been me, I wouldn't have wanted to return to that environment.  As far as I know Robbie was a good kid.

Why after all these years am I writing about Robbie Garrett?  I just finished reading a chapter on bullying in Danah Boyd's new book, It's Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens. Today's social media allows bullies to take their harassment to a whole new level.  With cyber-bullying there is no escaping, even when you away from school. Boyd's book defines bullying, "as a practice in which someone of differential physical or social power subjects another person to repeated psychological, physical , or social aggression." That matches the case of bullying I witnessed years ago and also saw during my years working with teens.  It usually involves a big kid, or kids, repeatedly physically tormenting a little kid or a popular teen repeatedly spreading nasty rumors about an outcast.  Back in those days we thought of it as teasing, but by any name it is wrong.

I am sharing my experience with bullying because I want to encourage you to share yours.   Maybe you were a victim, or perhaps just an observer.  Your story needs to be shared with the young people in your life.  While they might not be the kind of student who intentionally picks on another student, it's a pretty good bet they've observed it or maybe been a victim.  Either way, the worst thing to do is nothing because that is what give the bullies there power.

Jury Duty and Grace

I have been called for jury duty numerous times over the years, but until this week I had never been selected to serve on a jury. Most times I made it into the courtroom and went through the interview process only to be sent home.  I must admit I sometimes felt cheated in not being able to hear the rest of the story.  In those cases I had learned just enough about the crime that I was intrigued.  It was like reading the opening chapters of a novel and not being able to finish it.  All that changed this week.  Unlike other instances, I did not have a good feeling about this trial.  The defendant did not look like a hardened criminal, but it seem obvious that a violent crime had been committed.  During part of the interview process we asked questions about our experience with domestic abuse.  My thought was, "No thanks.  I will pass."  God had other plans and my name was called.

The defendant was in his late fifties, but we were told he had the mental capacity of a 5th or 6th grader.  While he had been married to the same woman for 37 years it was unclear how much time they had actually been together.  She was described by those who knew her as controlling and vindictive.  She also had been both physically and verbally abusive toward him.  The weapon in this case was a sock with a metal lock in it.  It belong to her and evidently she had used it on him numerous time.  On the night in question, he managed to get it away from her.  With weapon in hand he released the pent-up anger  brought on by years of abuse.  We saw the pictures and they were not pleasant.  .

It was obvious a crime had been committed.  Agreeing on a conviction was easy .  We found him guilty of assault with a deadly weapon.  Our job as a jury was only half finished, however.  The defendant wanted us, rather than the judge, to determine his punishment.  From the start, the twelve of us were divided.  I was part of the minority that was pushing for court supervision, rather than jail time.  The majority felt he should be punished because a crime had been committed.  As I surveyed the situation, I realized that the others who shared my view were the younger members of the panel. After three rather intense hours, we were sent home by the judge.  After a few more hours of deliberation the next morning, we were still deadlocked. "Keep talking," the judge told us.  Finally we reached an agreement.  We sentenced the defendant to jail, but it was deferred.  If he could abide by the conditions of his court supervision, he would not serve a day. Oh yes: one conditions is they not see each other. 

During the deliberation I was able to share my faith as I talked about grace.  One of the young women who shared my perspective noted that was driving her view as well.  Like the others, I was disturbed by the picture of the victim after the attack, but apart from his relationship with her I did not view him as a violent man.  He had never been convicted of a crime before.  Those who knew him said that the violence was out of character for him.  What would be gained by sending him to prison?

Serving on a jury can easily be viewed as an inconvenience.  It disrupts our normal routine.  Dealing with the court system can also be frustrating: the wheels of justice move slowly.  Still, it is part of our civic duty.  In my case it also proved to be a moment when I could talk about my faith and experience in working with teens who had made poor choices.  The way we talk about jury duty and other civic responsibilities can influence those who are younger, and maybe even some of those who share our life experiences.

If you are called.  Serve!

Ron Washington and Respect

Ron Washington, former manager of the Texas Rangers, made a public statement today.  For those who live outside the DFW area or who are not baseball fans, you might be wondering why this was a big deal.  Two weeks ago Ron Washington, the most successful and beloved manger in the history of the Rangers, resigned.  The team only said it was due to personal issues.  Since then, rumors have abound.  Some of the rumors focused on a conflict between Ron and the general manager, Jon Daniels.  Other reports insinuated that Ron Washington had become involved in an inappropriate sexual relationship with a female reporter.  Ron's comments today confirmed that it was the later.

I have always liked Ron Washington.  He is an old school baseball guy.  He also always made it clear that he respected the game and its history.  One of my favorite R. W. quotes is, "That's the way baseball go."   Translated: That just the way the game has always been.  Ron also is, an always will be, a coach and teacher.  He still pitched batting practice and spent time each day on the field teaching basic skills. He loves the running game and doesn't hesitate to try a squeeze play.

Today we also discovered that Ron Washington respects marriage and the commitment between husband and wife.  Ron has been married to Gerry Washington for 42 years.  He wants us to believe the only reason he resigned is because he desires to focus on his relationship with his wife.  He accepted responsibility for the act and apologized to the players, coaches, fans.  He also asked for privacy.  There are people who want more.  They are not convinced his affair is the real reason behind his departure.  There must have been a feud or some conflict.  Still other fans have reacted with, "What's the big deal?  People have affairs all the time and still keep their jobs."

Ron Washington lives life passionately.  Those who covered the Rangers said he was the most transparent coach they had ever worked with.  You always knew where he stood.  He could be honest to a fault.  That's why I want to believe him this time.  He made a poor choice and has accepted responsibility.  Now he wants space to focus on the relationship with his wife.  He only wants us to accept that and his apology.  He also wants us to let it go and move on.

Sounds like a great lesson for all of us.  When we mess up, take ownership and responsibility.  If an apology is needed, it ought to be given.  That is a behavior that makes us authentic and real to those around us, especially our kids.

Shopping Malls and Reflections on the Good Old Days

I went to high school at Lutheran High School East in Detroit.  One of the great features of going to LHE was it's convenience to Eastland Shopping Center.  Eastland was a cluster of stores that were connected by park-like walkways.  It was not until later years that the complex was enclosed and it became a "shopping mall."   Eastland was a great place to hang out.  It was an easy walk from our school and if the weather was inclement, you could catch the bus in front of school and ride the couple of blocks.   I have great memories of visiting the mall with friends.  Funny, other than buying a burger at Big Boy or having a soda at the Saunder's Ice Cream Shop, I don't recall doing much shopping.  It was most the attraction of being with friends and conversation.

I don't go to shopping malls much these days.  Evidently, today's teenagers don't hang out there much either.  The two big shopping malls in north Dallas are North Park and The Galleria.  Both cater more to older adults.  I did stop by North Park one day this summer, just to test my theory.  It was a hot north Texas day, but very comfortable inside.  I observed a lot of young moms pushing stroller with other youngsters trailing behind.  I saw some fifty-plus women having lunch at one of the cafes. There were also older adults sitting on benches involved in conversations.  The shops all seemed to be busy, but I observed very few teens.  I even walked by the food court expecting to see some clusters of kids there, but none were insight.  The only young adults I saw were working in the stores.

Kids don't have a need to socialize at the mall anymore.  They have social media.  They can stay in touch with their friends 24/7 and they don't need to be at home on the computer.  They can text on their smart phones and use the same device to check-in on Facebook and Insta-gram.  When they do have a need to shop, they can do that on-line.  If they want to visit a store, it's probably doing to be one where they can park their car outside and walk in.  That is probably the reason why shopping districts like Mockingbird Station and the Shops at Legacy are so popular.  Just another sign that our world in changing.

Sleep Deprivation: Kids at Risk

Little known fact: more people die in car accidents due to drowsy driving than drunk driving.    Teenagers are especially vulnerable.  Experts tell us that the average teenager needs over 9 1/4 hours sleep each night. Teens need more sleep than the rest of us because they are still growing and developing.  Unfortunately the typical teen gets gets considerably less.  87% of high school students get less than 8 1/2 hours sleep.     That leaves a sleep deficit of almost an hour each night. Even extra sleep on the weekend will not make up for that.  Like many adults, many teens now rely on coffee and other caffeinated drinks to keep them alert.  Not a healthy choice.  Sleep deprivation is an epidemic that is putting most kids at risk.

During my years at Lutheran High of Dallas, I taught A.P Psychology, in addition to my job as school counselor.  One unit dealt with consciousness and as part of the curriculum we covered sleep and the sleep cycle.  I tried to help my students understand the implications when they and their peers didn't get the right amount of rest each evening. One year I challenged my students to come up with possible solutions to the problem.  One option was to alter the school day; to start school an hour later and extend the end of the day the same time.

Last week I read a report that the American Academy of Pediatrics had called for just such change.  Their recommendation was to delay the start of school for middle and high school students until 8:30 AM.   I immediately heard some negative reaction from educators.  The major issue is what the change would mean to extra curricular activities, especially athletics.  Still, the reality is are putting our teens at risk if we don't make the adjustment.

Why wait until school administrators get on board?  That is probably not going to happen. Then, why should we wait?  Every parent has the responsibility to insure the safety and welfare of their student.  It starts when we have an honest conversation with our teens about their sleep habits and then helping them make the adjustments..  We don't want them driving drunk or with someone under the influence.  Why should we allow them to go through life drowsy?

Learning to Live With a New Normal

I am learning to live with a new normal.  Three weeks ago, on a Saturday morning, I awoke with a severe pain in my lower back. That was nothing unusual since I had been diagnosed with moderate arthritis in my lower back and neck. This sharp pain was different.  I discovered how intense when I tried to take a step.  I ended up crawling down the steps to the family room where I spent the rest of the weekend in my recliner. Now three weeks later I am on the road to recovery.  Thanks to my chiropractor friend, Dr. Stephen Tietjen, and a physical therapist I am now beginning to function again.

Things are different, however.  I am learning to manage my pain.  For the first time in my life I am having to pay someone to cut my lawn.  I now sleep in my recliner since it hurts to lie flat.  I have also learned to say "yes" when people offer to do things for me.  No golf for the immediate future. I am told things should continue to improve, but right now I am enjoying life for what it is.

Making adjustments as we face a changing world or new challenges is part of life, especially for those of us who are older.  One of the most drastic changes, for many of us who are baby boomers, is in the way the world communicates.  Think of all the new words that have been added to our vocabulary; social media, texting, tweets, Facebook and mobile devices.  What happened to good old face to face conversations?

A just started reading a new book that might change my perspective on how I feel about changes when it comes to communication.  The book is titled It's Complicated: The Social Life of Networked Teens. The author, Danah Boyd, spent three years studying, observing and talking with teens about social media and the way they communicate.  One of her conclusions is that kids are still kids.  Where a generation ago kids found community at the shopping mall or local fast food restaurant, today's teens live in a much more demanding and complicated world.  They find community through social media.  Parents and other adults use their cellular devices to communicate and network.  Teens use theirs to stay in touch with friends and create community.  Sounds to me like when it comes to communication, the new normal is a lot like the old to most teens.

How we adjust to change can effect how we related to the world and the people around us.  We can resist change or go with.  We can attempt to understand or complain about it.  We can reflect on the past or look to the future with anticipation.  Our attitude toward change might very well effect our ability to share the Good News and be Jesus' disciples.

Reflecting on the Death of Robin and Jack

I was watching the 6:00 pm news last evening when the word broke of the death of Robin Williams.  What saddened me most was the fact that this talented man who made us all laugh had taken his own life.  I had little time to process the loss of Robin Williams when my world was rocked by another death.  Dave Rahberg phoned to tell me that our mutual friend, Jack Giles, had gone home to heaven.  A short time later I was on the phone with good friend, Bill Ameiss, reminiscing memories of Jack and how he had impacted our lives.

I enjoyed Robin William's humor.  He was a talented actor, but whenever I saw him interviewed I sensed there was a troubled man beneath the surface.  I was not surprised when I learned that he battled substance abuse.  Humor can only hide the sadness within for so long.

While I watched Robin Williams from a distance, I knew Jack intimately.  We first met in 1973 when he was a rookie DCE and I, with four years of experience, was the veteran.  Over the years we worked together on many projects.  During the 80's we became partners, along with the sainted Larry Brandt, in Parish Ministries Resources, Inc.  Our journal, Insights into Christian Education, was pretty cutting edge at the time.  I was the creative mind, Larry was in touch with the resources, and Jack could process everything and develop a plan.  My last lengthy conversation with Jack was an example of that.  Last fall, we were together at a conference in Katy, Texas.  I had a new writing project that I was excited about.  Jack was a sounding board, helping me think through the process and the challenges I faced.  In the end I shelved the project.  Thanks again, Jack.

There is an irony in the fact that Robin Williams and Jack Giles died on the same day.  Robin Williams entertained us, and made us laugh, but it was only temporary.  Sure, he lives on in his movies, but what he offered us was shallow.  If you need proof, consider the way he died. He was a broken man who, because of his depression, could not face the realities of life.  Jack died with dignity.  He faced death with the same practical confidence he did other challenges.  Through his faith in Jesus Christ, Jack knew that death was but the door to eternal life.

Those of us who are left behind now have the challenge of living the legacy that Jack, Larry and others who have gone before us.  We are Easter People and Hallelujah will always be our song.

High School Heroes: Peaking to Soon

Multiple stories in the Dallas Morning News last week caught my attention.  They involved athletes who had a difficult time adjusting to life after high school. I guess it is a problem that spans generation.  Johnny Johnson was a star athlete at Dallas Samuel High School in the 1960's.  Basketball and baseball were mere aversions, Johnny was a football player.  He could have played running back for most major universities but because of grades he ended up at a junior college.  After two successful years, he transferred to Wichita State but there things turned sour.  There was a recruiting scandal and he was involved.  In the end he ended up returning to south Dallas. He was easy prey for the drug dealers that were part of that culture.  He ended up in prison, and only decades later was he able to rebuild his life in another state.

The other stories involve a current players.  Two years ago Devonte Fields was a freshman star as a defensive end for the TCU Horned Frogs.  He spent last year on the sidelines injured.  He also had time on his hands and ended up getting in trouble with the law.  This year was supposed to be his triumphant return, he was the pre-season pick to be The Big 12 defensive player of the year.  All that was put on hold when he was accused of assaulting his ex-girl friend.  He was quickly suspended as the situation is resolved.  All of this comes on the heels of the University of Texas kicking no less than five players off their roster for various violations of school policy. 

I recall a high school classmate, who shall remain nameless, who was a pretty good athlete.  He was also not much of a student.  There is probably one in every class; a smooth talker who could manipulate others and usually skirts the rules.  A big deal was made about the fact that he had been recruited to play college football, but he didn't last a year.  The rumor was that decisions off the field that led to his dismissal.

It was an issue that I had to deal with professionally, especially during my years as a high school counselor. There was a least one over-achiever in every class and they were not always athletes.  Our goals as a faculty was to acknowledge their accomplishments  but keep them grounded.  We also made sure they were held to the same rules.  Those of us in the counseling office also worked hard to make sure they were focusing on the future.  Helping them set goals and plan for college was a vital.  I am proud to say that most of our star athletes have been successful in the real world.

Those of us who are adults need to take care that we don't put our young people on pedestals.  When that happens, it is easy for them to hit their peak in high school.  They go off to college thinking they have it made, expecting to be stars and to receive all the attention and special privileges stars deserve.  The second thing is to help them stay grounded, holding them to the same expectations as we do other students.  Lastly, it means helping them focus on the future, using their high school experience to reach for higher goals, even if it isn't on the athletic field.

A Lesson from a Hip Grandma

I usually spend Wednesday afternoons at DFW International Airport where I serve as a volunteer ambassador.  I provide information and try to help people navigate the five terminals.  On a typical day I assist somewhere around 125 people.  In between I do a lot of people watching.  This week one of those was a very "hip" grandma.  She was traveling cross-country with three of her grandchildren.  This grandma was trying to corral three teenagers.  The oldest two were girls who I suspect were in the "eye rolling" stage: You know the look when you ask a teen to do something they think is beneath them.  This grandma was capable of rolling her eyes right back and letting them know who was in charge, and "yes, you will do what I ask."  The boy was probably 13 or 14, but already had the "surfer look" down; muscle shirt and earring to boot." 

The plane leaving my gate was heading to Orange County, California.  I could only assume they were heading for a vacation seeing the sites, although they hardly look like the Disneyland crowd.  After they had settled in she called them together.  There were ninety minutes till the flight left.  "Go get yourselves something to eat," she announced.  Then, holding her cell phone up for them to see, she instructed, "And let me know where you are at.  No issues!"

Curious, once the kids departed I wandered over.  Yes they were heading to southern California to see their father, her son.  They, along with their mom, lived in the southeast.  The trip west was an annual event.  "We let them fly alone over the holidays, but this one provides me with time with them.,"  she noted.  Suddenly their was the sound of an antique car horn. She glanced a her phone but in stead of typing the response she put the phone to her mouth.  "Just a fruit smoothie, please," she dictated.  Turning back to me she reported, "They just want to make sure I am fed, too."

I had other passengers to help, so I returned to my podium.  When I heard the announcement that the flight to Orange County was ready for boarding, I turned to check on grandma.  Her grandson was sitting beside her playing a game on his tablet, but the girls were nowhere in sight.  No worry.  Grandma got out her cell phone and once again dictated, "Plane boarding.  Get here now."  The words were barely out her mouth when the two teens surfaced, carrying grandma's smoothie. 

With all the changes in communication comes a choice; Stay current and embrace them or be left behind.  If we opt out, we might be leaving our grandchildren behind too. We need more hip grandma's in the world. 

Relating to Millennials: Humble Love should Rule Over Condemnation

Unconditional love and true friendship are two of the requirements if we want to relate to millennials.  It can especially be the case when we are talking about the teenagers who are part of our worship community.  Unconditional love requires that we accept young people with their flaws.  It also means welcoming them back with open arms when they make poor choices.  When it comes to friendship: Many young folks give us the impression that they have a wide circle of friends, but often those relationships come with conditions.  In the world of social media, many of those relationships are casual, having no roots.  While true friendship typically requires a mutual interest in each other, our relationship with millennials might be one-sided.  They might have little enthusiasm when it comes to hearing about what going on in our lives.  We are probably going to spend more time listening. 

Unconditional love and friendship are obvious requirements but a recent article that I read added humility to the list.  The author was Chris Martin and it was published on www.churchleader.com.  Chris Martin is a millennial whose ministry involves helping people relate to his generation.  One statement in the article especially struck me, "The church will reach Millennials when God’s truth is embodied in humble love more than constant condemnation."  We are all sinners.  Our lives are flawed.  Still we have a tendency to see the sins of other, more than our own.  That especially should be the case with young people.  How can they wear their hair that way?  Why do they insist of having different parts of their body pierced?  What is the purpose of all those tattoos?  We need to love them for who they are, and we need to be honest about our flaws.

Humility is a requirement if we desire to reach out to the young people who pass through our lives. 

Don't Like Change: How do you Feel About Irrelevance?

As I write this blog post, Barb and I are wrapping up a twelve day road trip.  We have visited a lot of family along the way.  This morning I awoke in Valparaiso, Indiana, home of Orville Redenbacher and Barb's brother Gary and wife, Susan.  There is another connection; Our son, Mark, went to the college here.  Valparaiso University was a life-changing experience for him.  For me the highlight of the trip was the four days I spent in Detroit.  I got some quality time with my mother and her brother, my Uncle Don.  The visit also brought back a flood of memories.  I got listen to the Tigers on the radio (no cable TV in mom's apartment), and spend time playing cribbage with my uncle on Belle Isle., After church Sunday we drove north to St. Claire for a perch dinner. We dined overlooking the river.  A lake freighters passed during our meal and I was able to stand on the deck of the restaurant and wave to one of the crew members.  How often I did that as a child. 

This morning I have had time to put things in perspective: The past has everything to do with where and who I am now, but very little to do with where I go and what I do in the future.  While it's okay to reminisce, but we cannot live our lives looking to the past.  I saw an interesting quote this morning in a article titled The Ten Lasts Gasps of a Dying Church.  The author, Brian Dodd, wrote, "If you don't like change, you are going to like irrelevance even less." How true!  In our fast-changing digital world, we cannot live in the past. 

So, I have reached the point this morning where I am ready to move on.  I am planning on doing some work on my next newsletter this afternoon.  There is a Starbucks near the university, so I plan on hanging out there and tasting the local culture.  I am also anxious to get home, and back to my writing project.  I am about half way done with the manuscript for: Relevant? The Church as it Relates to Millennials.  I also wait in anticipation to see what the future holds, feeling blessed to be alive at this time. 

Reflecting on July Fourth

Over the weekend Barb and I celebrated The Fourth of July.  No matter how I celebrate it, the holiday is always special for me.  This year was no different.  We kept our tradition and spent the evening of July 3rd watching the fireworks in Addison.  Kaboom Town is annually rated as one of the top displays in the country.  After putting out the flag on the Fourth, I spent some time working in the yard.  Our son, Mark, stopped by in the afternoon and I cooked some steaks on the grill.  We played bocci ball and spent time sharing family memories.  Sunday we traveled to Aledo where we celebrated Peter's birthday with the whole family together, minus Kristen who is still in Africa. 

Before I began any other activities on The Fourth, I spent time in God's Word.  I was directed to Psalm 33:12.  "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people he chose for his inheritance."  (NIV)   I reflected on our heritage as "One nation under God" and yes I grieved at how far we seem to have drifted.  As a country, I don't feel our values are in line with God's plan.  Our national motto might be, "In God we Trust." but statistics seem to indicate that a minority of the population see Jesus Christ as their Lord in Savior.  Even if we trust in God, we seem to place our hope in ourselves and our own resources.

As I listen to other older adults, I sense that I am not alone.  I like to spend some time each week working in coffee shops, usually a Starbucks.  Recently, attracted by the 49 cent senior coffee, I stopped by the local McDonalds to get some work done.  A group of at least a half dozen senior men sat nearby.  I assume from the conversations they were house regulars.  I also discerned that they had a negative view of our society, especially those under thirty or who were from a different culture.  It was too much.  I finished my coffee and decided to continue my writing at home.   Too much negativity.

As adults we have a choice.  We can complain, or we can set out to make a difference.  Nothing is accomplished if we invest all our energy into bemoaning how bad things are.  If we are change our culture, it must begin with us.  If our country has drifted from our heritage, perhaps it is because we have failed to share the message.  If that is the case, the best time to initiate change is now.  Pass the Torch. 

Millennials: The Broke Generation?

I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan.  I am a baby boomer, but both of my parents grew up during the depression.  That experience left its mark on both.  While we would have been considered a middle class family we did not have much.  The house where we lived during the fifties was really small and crowded for a family of six.  When we moved to a larger house it was closer to town, instead of in the suburbs.  Even then, it required my mom going to work to make ends meet.  There was one car and my dad was a "drive it till the wheels fall off" kind of guy.  After graduation I bought my first car, a 1956 Plymouth, for $75.  Not exactly an extravagant lifestyle.  In comparison to my parents, Barb and I have a more than comfortable lifestyle.  Until we retired, we both worked full-time, but we more than got by.  We own our own home and have two cars in the driveway, albeit both were bought used and would hardly be considered luxury models.  As I observe our oldest son and his wife, I see a similar lifestyle.   I would hope for the same thing from our youngest two children and their spouses. 

I recently read a newspaper article that casted some doubt on that possibility.  The article was by Washington Post columnist, Michelle Singletary, and titled Millennials' Financial Misfortune.  It reinforced what I had heard previously.  Millennials might be the first generation to end up worse off than their parents.  Part of the issue is that many of them lack basic knowledge when it comes to finances.  Across the board, they tend to spend more than they make,  The article references a study by Ameriprise Financial, "A majority of those polled feel stretched by car payments, credit cards and other bill."  On top of that only 57% who had access to a workplace retirement plan are contributing enough money to take full advantage of the employer match.  Data from Pew Research underscores all this information.  In addition 51% of them acknowledge that they don't expect there will be enough money left in the Social Security System by the time they retire. 

During my years at Lutheran High I taught a class titled careers.  It was a required course for all first semester juniors.  Part of the curriculum focused on college and career planning, but there were also units of life skills.  We talked about time management and budgeting while in college.  There was also a unit on long-range financial planning and the dangers of buying things on credit.  I still hear from former students thanking me for that experience.  Unfortunately, that course was dropped from the curriculum when I left.  That's typical.  Our educational system puts the emphasis on academics, but often misses the boat when it comes to life skills.  The responsibility instead is left to parents and older adults, and sad say, we are not always the best role models.

Tony Gwynn: A Lesson to be Learned

I shocked today to hear of the death of retired major league baseball player Tony Gwynn.  Tony Gwynn was only 54 years old.  For those who are not baseball fans, Tony might have been the purist hitter in baseball since Ted Williams.  He retired with .338 batting average.  Tony Gwynn spent his entire career with one team, The San Diego Padres.  That is a rarity in the days of free agency.  Tony Gwynn was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2007, the first year he was eligible.  After retiring from the Padres, Tony Gwynn returned to his alma mater, San Diego State University, as head baseball coach.  He was on a medical leave of absence at the time of his death.

Tony Gwynn died of cancer, but if you read the fine print the details come into focus.  Tony Gwynn had mouth cancer brought on by the use of smokeless tobacco during this playing days.   Those who covered the sport report that it was rare to interview him without the familiar chew in his mouth.  He had numerous surgeries to remove growths from his mouth during his playing days.  He was diagnosed with mouth cancer in 2011.  The NCAA, along with minor league baseball, has banned the use of smokeless tobacco.  Major League Baseball has not.  Maybe it's time. 

There is a lesson here for all of us when it comes to at-risk behavior.  Tobacco in any form, including smokeless, is a deadly habit. The abuse of alcohol and other drugs is dangerous.  The list could go on, but the point is there is a lesson to be learned here.  The decisions we make can come back to haunt us.  Tony Gwynn's story is worth telling.  Share it with the young people in your life, and talk about the risks involved.  Better than that, model the behavior yourself.  If you are still a smoker; Quit!  Nineteen years ago I did.

The Bible in the King's English?

I received my first Bible at the time of my confirmation.  It was a Revised Standard Version.  It served me well all the way through high school and I took it along when I started college.  In the late sixties I picked up my first copy of the American Bible Society's Good News for Modern Man.  It was the first paperback Bible I had seen.  GNFMM proved serviceable during my first years in youth ministry, but was soon replaced with The Living Bible, a contemporary paraphrase.  It was actually one of my teens that brought TLB to my attention. That eventually led to a meeting with the Board of Elders at the church I was serving at that time.  They were not sure of a Bible in contemporary language was appropriate.  I assured them that it was an important tool in making God's Word relevant to teens.  In the late eighties I started using the New International Version.  To this day my personal Bible is a Thompson's Chain Reference NIV Bible.  All the study helps make it an important resource in my writing ministry.  For devotional reading I prefer The Message, a contemporary paraphrase.

A report I read last week made me realize I am in the minority.  While the NIV Bible still is the best selling translation it way behind the King James Version when it came to the Bible most Christians preferred.  The report was published as part of the Bible in American Life project of Indiana University Purdue University Indianapolis.  19% of American Christians reported they used the NIV as their personal Bible, compared to 55% who used the KJV.   All other translations and paraphrases came in with less that 10%.  I am not surprised but still a little disheartened by the news.  While I still enjoy hearing the Christmas story read in the King's English, I also am aware that most people don't talk that way.  When was the last time you used the word "espoused" or "lineage." The KJV was originally written in 1611, and even attempts to make it contemporary come up short.

I have a Bible app on my smart phone.  I am able to read the Bible in over thirty different versions, including the Orthodox Jewish Version.  With all those options, I have to wonder why people still cling to the KJV.  My take is that it is part of tradition, or maybe a level of comfort.  I am also concerned about the degree that they are actually using the scriptures for personal Bible study.  We tend to be creatures of habit who cling to rituals.  Is that the case with our Bibles as well?  A bigger questions for me is: How does it impact our ability to share God's message with our contemporary culture.   I used The Living Bible because teens in the seventies could relate to it.  As a back-up I used my trusty Revised Standard or New International Versions.  It is no different today in trying to reach the millennial generation.  Use a scripture that they can relate to.  Is it the King James Version?

A Father's Advice

What is the most significant thing your father taught you?  I recall being asked that question one time.  It was one of the ice breaker questions asked at a professional conference.  The fellow ahead of me noted that his dad had told him to "Make sure your shoes are shined, your tie is straight and your zipper is up."  When it was my turn I joked that my dad taught me two things, "Love Jesus.  Hate the Yankees."  Actually I was pretty much on target.  My dad was an accountant by trade, but his passion was the church.  His favorite sport was baseball.  One of his rules was you were there at the beginning and you stayed to the end.  Our car was often the first one in the parking lot on Sunday morning and you always stayed till the end.  Same thing for baseball.  You never left a ballgame till the last out.  My dad taught me many other things, including how to relate to people.  My dad had no enemies, and quite a network of friends.  Now I am trying to pass that legacy on to my children.

An experience yesterday brought all of that to mind again.  I try to spend a couple hours each week working in a coffee shop.  It's one way I stay in touch with our culture and the world we live in.  Some times I work in a Starbucks, but yesterday I was at a Dunn Brother's in Addison.  I was finishing up my work when a young man seated himself at the table next to me.  Along with his coffee, he set his cell phone on the table.  Next, he did something I had not seen in a long time.  He got out a Day-Timer.  In the digital age I didn't think many people, especially someone under thirty, still used an agenda book. 

As I got up to leave I commented that it was nice to see someone still using an agenda book.  "Couldn't live without it," he responded.  He went on to note that he did use his cell phone for his contact list and to check his messages.  "I have my calendar on my phone too," he continued.  He must have seen my puzzled look, because he did have an explanation.  "I keep my notes on my customers in this book," he explained.  Now it made sense.  He was in sales and he kept a record of his visits with his clients in his Day-Timer.  I could tell from his extensive notes that he was a detail person.  He went on to say that his dad had taught him to use a Day-Timer as a way of tracking sales calls.  It made sense.  He was taking care of his customers in a very personal way.  The young man's father had passed on his legacy as a sales representative. 

Every parent has the responsibility to pass on a legacy.  For those of us who are Christians, it means passing on the legacy of faith.  My dad did it, and now I am trying to do it as well.  Passing on a legacy on how to play golf, cook or keep an agenda book is important, but none of those provide the eternal hope that comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

We Should Have Seen this Coming

Today's technology still amazes me.  I spent the last five days serving as a marshal at the Crowne Plaza Invitation at Colonial.  If you watch the end of the tournament on TV, yes that was me standing behind the 17th green.  Even while on the golf course I could check my email, keep track of the tournament scores and text members of family.  The later was helpful since at various times they were on the course and wanted to find me.  I've gotten accustomed to the convenience of digital world.  As one who used to carry around a Daytimer, I appreciate benefit of having my personal calendar available electronically.  I have stopped carrying a Bible when I make my rounds as a hospital chaplain, preferring to use the Bible app on my smart phone.  When it comes to research, I can sit at the kitchen table with my laptop.  I still read the newspaper for more detailed coverage but most news comes to me immediately via my cell phone. 

We should not be surprised at the changes.  According to an article recently published by The Pew Research Center it was predictable.  More than thirty years ago the Institute for the Future, a silicon Valley think tank, produced a report of the impact of electronic information technologies.  What is stunning is how right-on the forecast was.  At that time there was no world-wide web.  The Internet did not exist but its ancestor, ARPANET, did.  Fewer than three hundred host computers, mostly at universities and government agencies, were part of the network. 

What were some of the predictions:

A blurring of the lines separating work and home: "The person who works at home via an electronic system is not bound by the eight to five schedule that bind the person who must work with people or machines at a common site," the report notes.

Fragmenting of traditional media: "It is possible to custom design news bulletins limited to only those topics the average householder reads or is interested in."

Privacy concerns: "At the same time that these systems will bring a greatly increased flow of information and services into the home, they will also carry a stream of information out of the home about the preferences and behaviors of the occupants. 


Additional forecasts that were on target with things like electronic banking and the availability of
on-demand media.  The report also recognized that there would be new kinds of electronic relationships.   Decades before Facebook and Twitter, someone knew they were coming.


The bottom line is we should not be surprised at the changes the digital age has brought.  We are naïve if we think we can resist change or even deny it's existence.  Instead we need to embrace  it and view it as a way to relate to each other, especially the younger generation.

Rules are Rules, Even if they are not Enforced Consistently

The students at Duncanville, Texas high school made the news this week.  Administrators suspended over a hundred students for violation of the school dress code.  Some students protested and one student was so angry he threw a trash can across the school cafeteria.  The police were called in to restore order.  Police were back at the school the next morning.  They turned away students who were in violation of the same code.  The students complained that the school administration were not playing fair since they had not enforced the dress code all year.  One student commented that the teachers were more concerned about what they were wearing than what they learned.  And yes, once again some parents seemed to side with their students, feeling that the enforcement of the rules this late in the year was not fair.

I was a counselor at a high school that had a dress code.  Some students still tried to push the envelope.  Skirt length for girls and length of hair for boys were common infractions.  While most teachers were diligent at enforcing the code, the principal still felt a need to a couple times a year do a school-wide sweep.  I don't recall a student being suspended over a dress code violation, but I do remember the complaints from students.  Usually the grousing  was rooted in the fact that the dress code was not enforced consistently.  A student could have worn the same outfit numerous times and not been called on it.  Suddenly they were told it was a violation.  Still, like for the students in Duncanville, the code had been published.  In the case of Lutheran High School of Dallas, it was also printed in the agenda books that every student was required to have with them at all time.  In other words; they lived with it. 

Rules are a part of life, but they are not always consistently enforced.  Suppose the speed limit on a road you normally drive is 35 MPH but traffic always seems to be moving faster, so you typically go with the flow.  One day you get pulled over by a police officer.  He informs you have you were going 45 MPH.  You know you haven't done anything different than you normally do, but you also know the speed limit.  Telling the officer, "It isn't fair because you have done it that way before," will not fly.  The reality is rules are rules, whether they are dress codes or speed limits.

That is a value we need to pass on to the next generation and the best way is to model it.

A Time of Celebration and Anxiety

It has been a few years since I stepped away from my job as a high school counselor, but I still have distinct memories of this time of year.  It was a melancholy time as we got ready to launch seniors, some of whom I had invested a lot of time in.  It was also a stressful time.  There is something about the formula of spring weather, the anticipation of freedom and young hormones that puts kids at risk.  When you add in the availability of alcohol at certain graduation and end of the year parties, you have a volatile mix.

In some way, this is nothing new.  We might even right it off as part of the "right of passage."  This is the fiftieth anniversary of my high school graduation and I remember the parties.  I recall one friend laughing about his drive home in an alcohol stupor from one such event.  "I don't recall anything about driving home," he bragged.  "It was quite a party!"  At least my friend and the rest of my classmates, self included, survived that experience.  Last week a couple of DFW area teens did not.  In both cases alcohol and speed were involved.  I could only shake my head and silently grieve for the families involved. 

No matter what the age or circumstance, we are always parents to the children who grow in our homes.  I was reminded of that again yesterday as we gathered with our family.  There are eleven of us now, Peter, Mark and Katie, plus their spouses and the three grandsons.  I shifted back into the role of dad.  Listening, loving, supporting and offering some insights.

That should especially be the case if we have teenagers in our homes.  We need to be honest about the dangers of at-risk behaviors.  We need to confront the issue of alcohol and driving.  It's part of our responsibility. 

Listen to them and be especially attuned to warning signs of at-risk behavior.
Love them and remind them of how much you are concerned about their safety and well-being.
Support them in all of their endeavors.
Share your insights when it comes to at-risk behavior.

It's impossible to pass the torch of faith and values when we don't even have them in our lives to hug.  When you add alcohol to the formula of spring weather, freedom and young hormones, you have a deadly mix. 

The Forgotten Unemployed.

We went out to dinner with our son Mark, and his wife Kristen one night last week.  It was a belated celebration of Barb's birthday.  Her favorite restaurant is Olive Garden, so that is where we found ourselves.  Our waitress was a perky young lady who definitely had the gift of hospitality.  She not only took care of us but was engaging and friendly.  Toward the end of the evening I complemented her on her work.  "How long have you been doing  this?"  I asked.  She related that she had worked for Olive Garden for eight years.  She had been a hostess at another location and then transferred to her current job.  She went on to say that her real passion was art, and had earned a double Master's degree.  She also worked part-time teaching art at a local college.  She noted that she enjoyed teaching but it was difficult teaching as an adjunct because you never what you were going to be teaching.   Her passion is photography.  I could sense the frustration in her voice.

The young lady is typical of many millennials.  They often can't find jobs in their field of study.  The current unemployment rate among millennials is 15.5%, almost double the national average.  Many young adults are like our waitress friend; she could find work but it wasn't in her area of study.  The level of satisfaction was lacking.  She loved art history, not waiting on tables.  We might credit some of this to college graduates that have degrees  in areas of study that are not real marketable, like psychology or philosophy.  Some experts have pointed out that many millennials lack soft job skills, making them less desirable candidates.  I have met many young people, like the waitress, who have the social skills but still can't find jobs. 

I am sure that our waitress friend will be just fine.  She has a positive attitude and great social skills, but what about others who lack soft skills?  I guess that is where all of us who do have some life experience under our belts come in.  It begins by helping young people, especially those who still live at home, to develop social skills.  In the case of college graduates who have not found their niche, it might mean mentoring and encouraging them.  It also might be an opportunity for ministry.  I know some churches that have support groups for unemployed professionals, but why not a similar ministry to millennials.  It might be an opportunity for retired professionals to mentor young people.  Through the experience they also might experience the love of Jesus.

A Non-Discriminatory Policy

An article in yesterday's Dallas Morning News caught my eye.  The focus was on businesses in Mississippi who are displaying "We don't discriminate" signs in the windows of their the establishments.  Knowing the history of that area of the country you might think the current campaign is racially motivated.  In this case, the shop owners are letting customers know they do not discriminate against gays and lesbians.  The current campaign is a response to a state law that will take effect on July 1.  The law bans the government from limiting the free practice of religion.  While that may sound like a positive move, in the eyes of some it opens the door for some to ban individuals because they violate their religious principles.  The article gives the example of a photographer who refuses to provide service at the wedding of a gay or lesbian couple.   

While those who support the gay, lesbian, and trans-gender culture are behind the drive, the article focused on one particular shopkeeper who does not fit that profile.  Mitchell Moore owns Campbell's Bakery and proudly displays the "We don't discriminate" sign.  "I am a straight, white,  southern Christian conservative" notes Moore.  He goes on to state, "I don't understand why Christians consider one sin worse than another sin. 

I have never understood discrimination on any level.  Even growing up in Detroit in the sixties, I couldn't comprehend why some people were biased against Black people.  I never felt threatened by Blacks.  When my parents looked for a bigger house for our family, we moved closer to the central city.  At the same time many of our neighbors were fleeing to the suburbs.  I can trace my attitude to my father, who considered all people to be his neighbors.  That is probably why my parents were able to live in that house for over forty years and numerous changes in the community.   And I know dad's principles were based on the teachings of Jesus.  Jesus didn't discriminate during His earthly walk.  He ministered to all people, and when he gave his life He died for the sins of all people, including those who put him on the cross.

That is a principle we need to pass on to the next generation.  The best way to do that is to model Jesus' non-discriminatory policy.  We might have our faith-based values, but the only way to share those principles with those who are different is through a relationship. 

We are Always Easter People

Those who have read my book Passing the Torch might remember this story but it was much on my mind yesterday as we again celebrated Jesus' Resurrection.  I still reflect on it because it puts the Easter victory in perspective.

Carl Munzel was the organist and choir director at St. James Lutheran Church where I grew up.  My parents sang in the choir and it was expected that my siblings and I would as well.  When eligible, I joined the children's choir and then graduated to the youth choir after confirmation.  Carl Munzel was "old school" and even the children learned parts and often sang a cappella.   During my junior year in high school I was asked to join the senior choir.  As I recall there was shortage treble voices and I was asked to join the bass section.  The Lenten Season was always a busy time for our choirs.  In addition to Sunday mornings, the choir sang every Wednesday night for Lenten services.  We also learned a Lenten cantata that was usually sung on one Wednesday evening.  In the midst of all the somber music, we started to get ready for Easter.  This particular year we must have been struggling to move from "Stricken, Smitten and Afflicted" to "Jesus Christ is Risen Today" because in the middle of a rehearsal Carl got very agitated with us.  Carl Munzel was a short man and he walked with a distinct limp, but that evening he seemed to be a giant as he rose up behind the podium and took us to task.  "You people don't get it," he exclaimed.  "If this was Advent and we were preparing for Christmas you would be excited because we would singing about a baby.  If that baby stayed in the manger, we would not have a Savior.  We are Easter people." 

Carl's message must have been delivered effectively because over fifty years later I still remember it.  Without the Easter victory, we would have no hope, but Jesus did conquer sin, death and the devil.  He also destroyed the barrier between mankind and God.  We are Easter People who can live every day in the hope of the Resurrection.  All the troubles of this world are nothing in comparison to the glory that awaits us in heaven. 

Americans and The Bible: Skepticism is Growing

I started this day as I do every day.  Seated in my recliner, I read from my Bible.  During this season of Lent I am reading through Luke's Gospel.  I always read from my personal Bible, a Thompson Chain-Reference New International Version.  The Bible was a Christmas gift from my parent's over twenty years ago.  I had put the Bible on my Christmas "wish list" and specifically requested that version.  I like all the resources included in the Thompson and as a writer I find the chains helpful when working on a particular theme.  My Thompson is not the first Bible I received as a gift.  I received one at my confirmation, another when I went off to college and Barb and I received one as a wedding gift.  My guess is we probably have over three dozen Bibles in our house.  That means our family is way above average.  According to a recent survey done for the American Bible Society in partnership with The Barna Group, 88% of American households own a Bible.  Those homes typically have 4.7 Bibles.

While it was reassuring to know we would find Bibles in an overwhelming majority of American homes, I found some of the data gathered by The Barna Group disturbing.  Skepticism toward the Bible is growing.  In 2011, 10% of those polled saw the Bible as just another book containing stories and offering advice.  That number has grown to 19% in the most recent poll.  A majority of the skeptics (67%) are under the age of 48, with 28% of them being between the ages of 18-30.  While most people still view the Bible as sacred, that number is declining, falling from 86% to 79%.  57% of Americans are pro-Bible, believing that the Bible is the Word of God.  For me the most shocking statistic is that only 37% of American read the Bible at least once a week. 

For me, the daily time in God's Word is more than just a routine or discipline.  It keeps me focused on God's desires for me.  During my years as a high school counselor, I discovered that my early morning visits with God often equipped me for what was going to happen later that day.  Now, on those days when I am serving as a hospital chaplain, I find myself referencing a scripture passage from morning as I visit patients. 

We are called to be God's messengers to a broken world.  "You are the light of the world," Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 5:14.  "A city on a hill cannot be hidden," he continued.  The only way that we can make sure we are equipped and focused on that task is to begin each day in the Bible.  As Christian, when we do that we are bearing testimony to the power of that Word.  If we are going to reverse the trend when it comes to how people view God's Word, it has to begin with us. 

Being Proactive with School Violence

During my years as a school counselor I could count on it happening a couple times every school year.   A teacher would hand me a note or drawing with the comment, "You need to see this."  Perhaps the note would contain threatening comments or the drawing depicted a knife, gun or other symbols of violence.  In other cases one of my colleagues would approach me about a student who had become withdrawn, or expressing anger.  In all cases the student was on my radar.  Sometimes I would approach the student to find out what exactly was going on.  Other times I would seek insights from their peers to gain their perspectives.  I had a team of peer mediators who not only helped resolve conflicts but became my eyes and ears.  Part of the training involved how to identify bullying, depression and violent tendencies.  In all cases we tried to be proactive.

I thought of that again this morning as I heard initial news reports on the stabbings at a high school in suburban Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Twenty students have been injured, including some with life threatening wounds.  One student who escaped stated that the sixteen year old who is in custody had been bullied.  The police chief stated in an interview that there seemed to  be a pattern in the attack since most of the wounds were in the same lower abdomen area. 

One of the unfortunate realities of our educational system is that as budget money gets tight, student services get cut.  Often those student service include counseling or student intervention programs.  I recall a conversation a couple of years ago with one public school counselor.  He had over four hundred students assigned to him, leaving little time for individual contact.  He decided to retire rather of facing than face the increased responsibilities.   

I can speak from experience.  Seven years ago I was the victim of a budget cut.  The administration chose to reduce student service, rather than cut back in academic programs.  While I can understand the rationale,  I shutter at the implications.  During the first year I was retired I often heard from  teachers who were looking for insight into dealing with a student issue.  Unfortunately the phone calls stopped, although I still hear comments about what I and my colleague in the counseling office brought to the campus. 

The current environment puts added responsibility on parents and other adults to identify troubled teens and help them deal with their feelings or problems in a positive way.  When we ignore students who express anger, or who seems to have withdrawn, we are leaving the door open to more tragedies on our campuses. 

Millennials Don't Shared our Love with the Suburbs

In the late 1970's our family was living in Downers Grove, a western suburb of Chicago.  I was contacted by First St. Paul Lutheran Church in Chicago.  They wanted to interview me for a position on their staff.  St. Paul, located on Chicago's near north side, is one of the oldest Lutheran congregations in the country.  They were a vibrant congregation, still very passionate about ministering to the city.  In an attempt to reach urban professionals they had established an apartment ministry in the Carl Sandburg Village apartment complex.  While I was intrigued by the position, Barb and I decided it was not the kind of environment where we wanted to raise our family.  I still reflect back on that opportunity.  I grew up in an urban environment in Detroit.  I thoroughly enjoyed visiting downtown Chicago during the years we lived in that area.  I still enjoy visiting downtown Dallas.

Our son Mark has inherited my love for the city but he has taken it to a different level.  For a while he lived in a downtown loft.  At that point he was running a community center in east Dallas.  Within the last year, he and his wife, Kristen, have moved into an apartment in the Deep Ellum area of downtown.  The Crossing Church, where Mark serves as lead pastor, has The desire to see the city of Dallas transformed as one of it's core values.  Evidently, Mark and Kristen are not alone in their desire to live in an urban environment  .  A recent survey by Pew Research indicated that 62% of young Americans, ages 18-29, desire to live in an urban mixed-use environment.  Downtown Dallas isn't the only big city to be experiencing a renewal.  I recently read an article on the way downtown Detroit is being revitalized by an infusion of young urban professionals. 

I am not sure that the church has caught the same vision.  The Crossing Church is the first new Lutheran Church in Dallas in over fifty years.  During the same time four LCMS congregations have closed their doors.  Over that same period of time numerous new churches have been planted in the suburbs surrounding DFW.  One congregation even moved from a changing neighborhood to a suburb where there were already three other Lutheran churches. 

Urban ministry is difficult on a number of levels.  One of the biggest obstacles is the cost of operating a facility in the city.  Another challenge comes from the reality that millennials don't always financially support churches.   They also tend to be somewhat transient, and often try to avoid long-term commitments.  The best way to reach them is to meet them where they are at.  That might mean planting individuals in an urban environment and subsidizing their housing.  That's what St. Paul - Chicago was doing almost forty years ago.  In the same way, house churches and small group Bible studies are much more effective than trying to have a Sunday morning worship experience. You also need a core group of people who are passionate about the city and will support a ministry to it.

Lot, Sodom and Gomorrah and Millennials

I recently heard a sermon on the story of Sodom and Gomorrah.  The pastor, my friend Ken Holdorf, focused on the mercy that God showed to Lot and his family, rescuing them from the destruction of the evil cities.  It got thinking about another lesson that could be taken from the story.  That's a danger that comes having preached a few sermons in my life.  I often process the message in terms of what would I have done with the text?  In this case, I got to thinking about how it might relate to our ministry to millennials. 

To understand why Lot and his family were in danger we need to go back to a decision that he had made years earlier.  In Genesis 13 Abraham and Lot separate.  Lot, Abraham's nephew, had relocated to Israel with the rest of the family but a problem had developed.  As Lot's family grew, there was not enough property to accommodate them all.  Abraham proposed that they separate and gave Lot the option of staying or moving elsewhere.  Lot looked around and saw that there were greener pastures on plains near the Jordan River.  "It's looks good.  I will live there," he stated.  There was one problem with Lot's decision; he put he and his family at risk.  Lot and his family settled near the city of Sodom.  Genesis 13:13 specifically states, "the people of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord.  Not the place you want to raise a family.

I have seen the same thing countless times during my years in youth ministry.  Young people often make decisions that put themselves at risk.  They make decisions based on what looks good, or what is fashionable at the time.  When that happens they can end up going down a dangerous road.  In the process they could get hurt, and/or cause grief to those who love them.  The lesson we can learn from Lot's story is that we have a God who loves those who have made poor choices.  He longs to be reunited with those who have wandered astray.  Our God loves the broken and lost. 

We are messengers who need to deliver God's mercy and grace.  We are called to pray for those who have made poor choices and gone astray.  It can be difficult when we are the ones who have been hurt.  Sometime their poor choices have cost us money, in addition to the sleepless nights. The mistakes might even be obvious to us.  As a result we feel a need to blame or offer advice, when what we really need to be doing is loving them, accepting them and helping them move on. 

What's After The Millennials?

What are we going to call the generation that follows the millennials?  That was the question that host of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart, asked Paul Taylor of Pew Research.  While it's too early to put a label children born since 2000, the two jokingly came up with a few suggestions: digital natives, the selfie generation and the rainbow generation, a reference to their tolerance.  I could think of a couple more: centurions and generation like. 

Sociologist and others have been labeling generations for decade: baby boomers and generation x preceded the millennials.  Along with the labels come characteristics.  In the case of millennials they are viewed as being self absorbed and morally adrift.  They are also seen as being spiritual, but usually outside mainline Christianity.  I realize that there is some value in describing a particular generation.  For instance, it helps those who are marketing products, or in the case of churches understand who they are trying to reach.  But there is a danger in that we tend to view all members of that generation that way. 

I am part of a worship community that is a great example.  Our son, Mark, who according to "the experts" is a millennial, serves as our pastor.  Most of the paid staff, including the worship leader and director of media also were born between 1980 - 2000.  One of our elders is a millennial and on a typical Sunday morning probably half of the congregation would fall into that category.  I don't view any of them as fitting the millennial mold.  I could add our daughter, Katie Seale, to list of those outside the millennial box. Katie is director of music at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Carrollton, Texas. 

I am not tooting the horn for our kids, rather I want to make a point.  The environment children grow up in does make a difference.  Barb and I tried to Pass the Torch of faith to our kids, including our generation X son, Peter.  We also realized we could not do it alone.  We tried to put them in communities where there were other adults who mentored them.  They also were surrounded by peers who shared their faith and values.  We were blessed in that they followed that pattern during their college years, when faith was shaped within all three of them." 

As parents we cannot allow "supposed social experts" to determine our children's identity.  Millennial is a label that is put on a generation, not individuals within that age group.  It will be the same for the generation that follows.  As parents we need to not only set the rules, but the standards.  Values are established at home, and parents need to be the primary role models.  Lastly, we need to make sure they are in a community that reinforces what they have been taught.