The Church has Missed a Cultural Shift

This is the final post in the series on changes I feel the church must make if it is to effectively minister to millennials.  In the case of this issue, I sincerely feel the future of the church itself hangs in the balance.  I fear that many mainline churches, and perhaps whole denominations will disappear if we don't wake up to the changes happening around us.  Look around you; how many established churches in your community are on the decline.  Once dynamic churches are now facing dwindling attendance and decreasing financial resources.  Why?  Because the church has not grasped the extent to which millennials have impacted and changed our culture.  The culture has shifted and we've been left behind.

When it comes to young adults the expectation has always been: they graduate from high school, go off to college, finish their educations and get jobs.  Along the way they might drift away from the church.  They might still show up with their families at Christmas, but for the most part they are not connected spiritually.  No worry: They will get married and when they start their family they will come back.  That is the pattern we've seen for generations. 

That no longer is the case.  Consider:

Even though teens are socially engaged, some of them have already check-out on the church before they graduate from high school.  In many cases it is because they do not see the church as relevant to their lives.

Campus ministry is not a high priority for many denominations.  Hence, college becomes a spiritual wasteland.  They are being taught many theories that run counter to their Christian upbringing but there is no support system to help them grapple with the questions.

They are graduating into a job market that is not real open.  Many colleges graduates are unable to find jobs in their field of studies, furthering their disenchantment with our society.

More millennials are choosing to live together outside of marriage.  In many case that already began during college, where co-habituating is an acceptable behavior. 

Many young adults are delaying marriage until much later.  In many cases they have no desire to have the church involved when they do decide to get married. 

Then there is the gay/lesbian issue.  Most millennials consider being "gay" OK.  Some are even choosing that lifestyle themselves, again putting themselves at odds with many traditional churches.

And as for starting a family: that is probably going to be delayed too.  If they are waiting until they are in their thirties before beginning a family, there is probably less of a chance that they are going to gravitate back to church.

Yes, it is a changing world and we must adjust not only our way of doing ministry, but our way of thinking. 

Youth ministry must focus on confronting the issues of the day and equipping young people to respond to them. 

We must recommit to having a presence near college campuses. 

We must reach out to young adults, instead of waiting for them to come back to us.

It is a difficult and challenging time, but our God never changes and through the power of the Spirit, we can overcome the world together.   The Gospel message is still relevant, and boy does this world need it.

Re-Thinking the Way the Church Does Ministry

This is the third in a series of blog entries on the changes I believe the church must make if it is to effectively minister to the millennial generation.  In my opinion, the church must move away from generational ministry.  That might mean taking the lock off the women's guild closet in the kitchen, the men's club sharing their sacred smoker and the giving all access to the church youth room. 

The first church that I served in youth ministry had four kitchen.  Granted, it was a large church with a variety of church ministries that included a large parish school, but I learned early on their were lines of demarcation when it came to the kitchens.  First off, their was the school kitchen that was off limits because of local board of health restrictions.  Then there was the guild kitchen, ruled over by the women and the men's club kitchen were testosterone, smoke and barbecue sauce reigned.  Finally there was the parish kitchen where even the youth group was welcomed.  That church and its kitchens might have been the ultimate in terms of turf protection. 

If you are thinking things have changed, I would encourage you to look at the announcement that usually accompany your church worship folder.  Almost everything is compartmentalized: children's ministry, youth ministry, women's ministry and men's ministry.  Maybe your church has a young adult group, senior citizens ministry or music ministry.  And each ministry has its turf.  The thing is, every group has it's audience and that is who they appeal to.  It also means a lot of inward focus. 

If mainline churches are to survive over the next twenty years they must change the way they view ministry.  We must move away from generational ministry and move toward cross-generational ministry.  The legacy of faith must be passed from the older adults to the youth.  Parents with young children must hear from the empty nesters that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Older couples must mentor young couples in secrets to having a successful marriage.  The torch of faith must be past on not just from one generation to the next, but across gender and cultural lines. 

Loving People Where They are At, Not Where we would Like Them to Be

In my previous blog we looked at the story of Nicodemus in John, Chapter 3.  In this entry I would like to move ahead to the next chapter of John's Gospel.  There we meet a woman with a very sordid past.  She had been married five times and currently living with a man she is not married to.  On top of the, she was a Samaritan, considered an unclean half/breed by any respectable Jew.  Jesus encounters the woman at midday, at a town well.  The theory is the woman was there in the heat of the day to avoid the accusing eyes of the other women in town.  Jesus does not ignore the women, or look at her with incriminating eyes.  Instead he approaches her with a heart of compassion.  Jesus knows her past sins, but loves her just the same.  He enters in a conversation, that turns out to be somewhat revealing.  Jesus asks some pretty probing questions, and gently offers some insights, but in the end the woman convicts herself .  She leaves the encounter a different person, with a desire to change her behavior.  The woman also has a desire to tell everyone about the amazing man she has met. 

One of the obstacles that the church puts up today is that we don't want to love people where they are at.  All to often we desire some sign of repentance, or at least a desire to change, before we are open to sharing Grace.  I have to wonder if that the Samaritan woman would be welcome in the church today, but then I am not so sure that she would have been welcomed in Jesus day.  In fact, it was probably a good thing Jesus had sent the disciples off to find food just prior to meeting the women.  His followers would have been none to happy or accepting of the woman.  Perhaps that is the lesson here.  We, as Jesus' personal representatives, need to be seeking out the broken and lost people in our world.  We need to love and accept them in their sin and filth.  By being Jesus to them we might be opening the door to an eternal, life-changing relationship.  Maybe they will leave the conversation with a desire to tell their friends about the amazing conversation they had with a complete stranger.  Taking it a step further: That conversation might be the beginning of a relationship with Jesus.

The church is called to be the "light of Christ" in a lost and broken world, but the church as an organized body has often failed to do that.  As individual disciples, it is our responsibility to live out that calling.  Even if the lost and broken people never set foot inside our church door, they will have met Jesus through us.  Love people where they are at; only then will we have the opportunity to move them to where God wants them to be.

A Lesson from Nic at Night

I am going to do something little different in my blogs this month.  As I write this I am putting final preparations into a presentation I will be making at the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod Youth Symposium next week.  As part of that presentation I am going will be talking about why I feel the church has failed in reaching out to this generation of teens and young adults.  #1: From my perspective the church is not the place to express doubt or to ask questions.

In the third chapter of John's Gospel we meet a man by the name of Nicodemus.  Nicodemus was a Pharisee, the very group of church leaders who were opposing Jesus.  In time they would lead the campaign to have him put to death.  John tells us that Nicodemus approached Jesus at night and leads us to believe that he was alone. Nicodemus seemed to have been intrigued by Jesus teachings.  He was curious and had some questions.  Jesus enters into a dialog with Nicodemus. We are not privy to the entire conversation, but we can assume Jesus listened to Nicodemus and responded with some probing questions of his own.  In the midst of this Jesus speaks one of the most quoted verses in scripture, "God so love the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).

I wonder how different the outcome would have been had Jesus, seeing Nicodemus approaching, would have said, "I know who you are and what you represent and because of that we cannot even have a conversation."

Unfortunately that is often the message that many millennials hear when they approach the church with questions.  Perhaps the issue is the exclusive nature of Christianity.  In a culture where so many different faiths are represented, how can we claim that Jesus is the only way to eternal life?  Perhaps it's the Gay/Lesbian issue.  The reality is most millennials know someone who is Gay, perhaps that someone is a good friend.  A majority of teens and young adults accept that lifestyle as being OK.  How are they going to feel if they want to discuss the issue with us, but are stonewalled?

The church has to be open to discussing the issues of today.  We have to be accepting of those who have doubts, or who hold opinions who run contrary to tradition.  Unless we keep the door open, we run the risk of losing them.  We need to maintain those relationships and keep the discussion going.

Nicodemus became a believer.  In John 7:50 we learn that Nicodemus defended Jesus in front his peers.  After the crucifixion it is Nicodemus who joins Joseph of Arimathea in giving Jesus a proper burial.  Only God know what he has in store for those young folks in your life that have questions and doubt.  Take time to have an open and honest discussion with them, and never close the door to that relationship.