True Confession, and New Beginnings

It has been a few weeks since new broke of the case of extreme racism by members of a fraternity on the campus at the University of Oklahoma.  I previously reacted reacted to the issue of college Greek organizations and their racial bias.  In this blog I would like to look at the issue from a different perspective.  What are we to do with the two young men whose actions were reflected in the video?  The university has taken action.  They have been kicked out of school.  The fraternity is also gone from campus.  Now how are we, as a society, going to react?   What kind of retribution is going to be administer by the court of public opinion?

Before you are quick to judge and condemn the young men involved, I ask you to remember the sins of your youth.  I remember some of mine and they still haunt me.  I wish I could go back an talk to the girl I wrote a "dear John" letter to.  I wish I could take away some of the damage from the, so called. practical jokes that I got involved it.  I wish I could take back some of the hurtful words that spewed from my mouth.  I wish I had not attached hurtful nicknames to people who did not deserve it.  I wish I had told the truth and excepted the consequences instead of having the habit of lying my way out of difficult situations.

Now that I have spilled my guts, I would encourage you to do some hard thinking about the mistakes you made in your youth.  We have all done them; Cheated on a test,  lied to our parents, told a racial joke or maybe even used a racial slur.

The only difference in the case of the offense in question is the whole world knows about it.  That is the reality of social media.  Both young men have taken ownership of their mistakes and asked for forgiveness.  These men are both in their early twenties.  They both had bright futures in front of them.  The real tragedy might be if we do not allow them to learn from their mistakes and move on. The best way to do that is to stop talking about it.

Easter is Coming... and So are the Millennials

It is no secret that churches see their attendance swell on Easter Sunday.  Some of those folks are worshiping as part of a family gathering, but others might be visitors who are just looking for a place to worship on a day that they feel is sacred.  It is logical to think that some of those visitors might be young adults..  Experts tell us that many millennials are spiritual, even if they do not regularly attend worship.  In some cases they are drawn back to church on Easter because it is something they grew up doing.  So how do we prepare our church members, especially those who are part of the hospitality team, to welcome millennials? 

Do not hand them an information card:  Millennials are reluctant to share personal information until they feel comfortable.  Asking for an email address is not a good idea.  If they have a positive experience and feel their needs have been met, they will come back.  When they are ready, they will share relevant contact information.  

Focus on Gospel, not Law: While this might seem logical, it often is not the case.  We tend to want to remind once a year visitors that we around fifty-two Sundays a year.  We might even feel a sense of disdain toward those who only show up for festival services. That is not what millennials want to hear.  They view faith as a personal thing and might feel spiritual even if they are not attending a specific church on a regular basis.  Offer them a message of hope that is applicable to their situation.

Accept them for who they are: Some millennial visitors might not look like your typical church member.  They tend to dress casual.  Being dressed up might mean a new pair of jeans and collared shirt.  Body piercing and tattoos are acceptable among millennials.  Learn to live with that if you want them to come back.

Stay Traditional: Many millennials, especially those who grew up in the church, enjoy traditional liturgy.  That is especially the case on major festivals. Downplay the guitars and drums on Easter and Christmas.  

Do not expect them back next Sunday: Even if they have a great experience and feel comfortable, they probably are not going to become regular attenders.  The chances are slim that they are looking for a long-term relationship.  Rather they are looking for an accepting environment where their needs met.  When they have a crisis or need ministry, they will contact us if experience indicates they will be accepted unconditionally.

The bottom line is millennial are different.  We need to accept that and love them for who they are, not who we would like them to be.

I Must Admit My Bias

Okay, I will admit that I am biased.  The news out of Norman, Oklahoma last week reminded me of my disdain for fraternities, sororities and the entire Greek system.  This time it is the Sigma Alpha Epsilon chapter at the University of Oklahoma.  It even hits close to home because the two young men at the center of the controversy both are from Dallas.  One of them even graduated from prestigious Jesuit College Prep, the same institution that calls golfer Jordan Speith an alum.

Now I do need to provide a disclaimer.  Our oldest son, Peter, was a member of a fraternity during his time at Texas Christian University.  Beta Upsilon Chi is a Christian fraternity that is sanctioned by the university but not part of the Greek system.  The organization is open to any young man who is a follower of Jesus Christ and who is willing to commit to participating in all activities.  BYX also does not all alcohol at their events.  In spite of that their parties are some of the best attended.

In my mind the big difference in Greek fraternities and Sororities is that they get to hand pick their members.  During rush, those who want to be part of the Greek system try to impress the leaders of the various fraternities and sororities that they are worthy candidates.  The leadership get to decide who is their type and deserves membership. Since the  Equal Right Amendment there has been pressure on Greek organizations to admit People of Color, as well as those from other cultures. The current news story might be proof that admitting people does not mean you need to like them.

Still, the Greek system is part of the culture on most major university campuses.  Many high school graduates head off to college with the intent of pledging to a fraternity or sorority.  That leads us who stand on the sidelines, and that includes parents and grandparents, to underscore our values and ethics. It call for reminding them there are certain things that we will not compromise on.  Racism is certainly a part of that.  It is probably a conversations that two sets of parents in the Dallas area wish they had had.

Did Luther Get it Wrong?

I recently had the opportunity to meet Dr, Chap Clark.  Chap Clark is a professor in the youth ministry department at Fuller Seminary and author of the book Hurt: Inside world of  Today's Teenagers.  I have always respected Chap Clark and consider him a contemporary.  Like myself, Chap has dedicated his entire professional career to ministering to youth. 

Chap Clark was in the area at the invitation of a local Lutheran Church.  I was able to attend a town hall seminar.  It was an interesting mix of public school educators, counselors and church professionals.  I took a number of things away from that day, one of which is a new perspective on Deuteronomy 6.  That is the chapter where the Children of Israel are instructed to teach the Lord's decrees and commands to their Children.  Those precepts are to be passed on from one generation to the next. 

Chap Clark offered an insight into Deuteronomy 6 that I had not heard before.  He pointed out that the Lord's command was given to all the people, "Hear, O Israel."  He also pointed out that the references to "family" and "home" at that time meant the entire community.  The implication being that all those in the community shared the responsibility for passing on the heritage of faith to the next generation.   In my mind that runs counter to what I had always been taught: namely that parents have the primary responsibility for "nurturing their children in the faith." The church is there to assist and support them, but parent are to take the lead.  In the Table of Duties, found at the beginning of the Small Catechism, Martin Luther quotes Ephesians 6:4 in the command to parents, "bring them (your children) up in the training and instruction of the Lord."  The implication is that this is a parental obligation.

 All of this causes me to wonder if Martin Luther somehow got it wrong, or perhaps did not go far enough.  Maybe we should have another entry in The Table of Duties.  To the Church: "The commandments that I give you today are to be upon your heart.  Impress them upon your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)  The implication being that the community of believers has a responsibility to all the children in their midst.  When a child is baptized, they become part of our family.  While the parents have the primary responsibility, we all share in it.  We are all called to mentor young people.  That is not limited to children and teenagers, but young adults as well. 

The challenge now becomes, how do we get older adults to engage in the lives of young people.  For decades, we have allowed senior adult ministry to flourish in a bubble.  Check out the typical church on a Sunday morning.  After the service, the adults are gathered around the coffee pot, the children go to their Sunday school classrooms and the teens head to the "youth room."  And where is the space where the heritage of faith can be passed from one generation to the next?  What formats do we allow where more experienced believers can mentor those who are young?

Stuck With an Old Model

I drive a 2010 Chrysler.  It has almost 100,000 miles on it but it still serves me well.  I tend to drive a car until the wheels are about to fall off.  When the time comes I have no problem moving on to a newer model.  While my current vehicle does not have the features or performance of a 2015 model, it is a vast improvement over the car I drove twenty or thirty years ago.  Not it only is it more comfortable, my current vehicle gets better gas mileage and is much more dependable.  Most people tend to be that way. Upgrading to a new model car is something we usually look forward to. It is not just cars.  We also seek out the latest model when it comes to televisions or appliances.  So why is it is such an issue when it comes to a new model for worship?

I grew up going to church.  St. James Lutheran Church was very predictable.  Services were held at the same time during the twenty three years I was a member there.  Pastor George Kurz spent his entire ministry at that church.  He was not the only familiar face. Most of the membership was the same as well, but in actuality I only knew half the congregation.  Our family went to the 11:00 AM worship service because my parents sang in the choir.  Sunday school was also held at the same time as the 9:30 service and my parents were firm believers that I needed to attend the worship too.  I always sat with my grandmother.  I only recall one controversy during my years at St. James.  They tried to change the worship service times.  The switch to having services at 8:00 AM and 10:30 AM did not go over.  They went back to the old model.

As an adult I spent over twenty-five years serving churches as a director of Christian education.  I served four different congregations.  I don't recall many changes in worship styles in any of those churches.  Aside from the occasional youth led worship, or LWML Sunday, things remained status quo.  It was not just worship times or style.  You could almost set your watch to the arrival time of certain individuals.  If you looked out at the parking lot, their cars were usually parked in the same spot.  As I glanced at the congregation each Sunday I could usually expect to see people sitting in the same spots. The old joke is still true: How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb? The response: "Change?"

Currently, Barb and I are part of the worship community at The Crossing Church in Dallas. The Crossing is a church plant.  As such, we don't have a lot of traditions.  It is more about meeting the needs of people where they are at.  It also helps that those under forty usually outnumber those who are older.  There are patterns to worship, but nobody objects if we shake things up a little.  The theology is definitely Lutheran but the form very contemporary and free-flowing.

It still can be a struggle for some older worshipers.  We like the familiar.  We tend to sit in the same spot, want to sing the same style of music and talk to the same group of familiar friends.  Those things meet our needs, but then then that might be the problem.  Is it about me, or about sharing Jesus with others?  At The Crossing Church we are constantly reminded that, "It's not about me."  My needs are met because I know Jesus and I have experienced His love and grace.  Now I feel called to to share that Good News with others.  Sometimes that means seeking a new model.