Teens and The Shopping Mall

During my time as counselor at Lutheran High School of Dallas I received a unique phone call one Monday afternoon. It was from the head of security at one of the local shopping malls. He was calling me as a courtesy, and said the information was off the record. He went on to tell me that three of our students had gotten in trouble at the mall the previous Saturday. He knew they were our students because they were wearing apparel with the school brand. They also had student ID's. He obviously could not provide names but he suggested that I remind all our students that no matter where they were, they were representing our school. I thanked him and assured him that I would address the issue. Yes, it was not the way we wanted our school to be represented. Since we were a small private school, and there were few secrets: It didn't take long to find out who the students were. While I never addressed them specifically, I did discuss appropriate behavior with several groups students, making sure to include them.

The experience came to mind recently when it was reported that the most popular mall in Dallas, North Park, is banning unchaperoned teens under seventeen after 6:00 PM. The same article reported that some malls in the U.S. did not allow any unchaperoned teens. The issue; teen behavior had become a problem and their meer presence was bothering other patrons.

I can understand the many good teens who act responsiby being upset, but I also realize why malls have to take the actions they do.

I think part of the solution lies within the realm of effective parenting. When kids report that they are heading to the mall the two questions that should be asked are: What is the purpose of the visit? Who will you be with? Going to the mall for a specific purpose is ok. Going to the mall to hang out is not. It's the old adage: Idle hands are the devil play ground.

We also need to remind our teens over and over that no matter where they are they represent their families, their schools and even more than that they represent their God.

Face to Face Conversation Still Rules

There is no doubt that we live in the age of social networking. Facebook, My Space and Twitter are part of our worlds. When you add in the amount of texting that we do as American, it's easy to assume that face-to-face conversation in on the decline. According to a new book, that is not the case.

The appropriate title is The Face-to-Face Book. The authors, Ed Keller and Brad Fay, are principals in a market research and consulting firm. Over the last six years they have collected data on over 2 million conversations. One surprising finding is that 75% of our conversations still happen face-to-face. Even more significant is that people tend to view such conversations as more positive and satisfying. People are perceived as being more credible when they communicate face-to-face, as opposed to on-line.

If you have any doubt that this is the case, visit a fast food restuarant or coffee shop where teens are present. You will quickly conclude that teens still enjoy hanging out together and talking to each other.

The question now becomes: what can we as parents be doing to encourage face-to-face conversation. As with other behavior, the best way is to model it. Talk about the value of personal conversation and identify individuals in your life who you enjoy visiting with on a regular basis. Build in time for personal conversation as a family. Family meals at home or at a restuarant provide such opportunities. Stipulate that texting is not allow during such times. Establishing no texting zone. Designate certain rooms in the house as no texting areas, and don't allow texting in the car. Limit the social network conversation between you and family members. Insist that information, comments and the expression of opinions between family members be expressed face-to-face.

Social networking is a great way to stay in touch with those that we do not see on a regular basis, example old friends or relatives that live far away. Social networking should never be a replacement for good old conversation.

ONE TEEN ISSUE THAT CAN BE SOLVED

Our teens are at risk. Unfortunately many of the issues threatening our teens are out of our control. When we allow them behind the wheel of a car we run the risk that that they might make a fatal decision. As much as we preach about the dangers of substance abuse, some teens are still going to experiment with drugs and alchohol. Another reality is teen suicide. We can know the warning signs, but even then some kids will slip through the cracks and decide to end their own lives.

So what is the teen issue that can be addressed and solved? It's obesity. The reason we need to address it: Type 2 diabetes.

According to a recently released report done by the University of Colorado Denver, a third of American children and teens are overweight and obese. Such kids are at a higher risk of developing Type 2 diabetes.

I am familiar with Type 2 diabetes because it runs in my family. Five years ago my doctor told me I was a borderline diabetic. As a result my mantra became, "diet and exercise." I watch what I eat and I walk two miles at least five times a week. I monitor my blood sugar. When I had my last physical the topic of diabetes never came up.

As adults we can teach our kids the value of good nutrition. We can model that behavior by being responsible eaters as well. We can make sure our kids are getting their proper exercise and be an example there as well. We can control what is eaten within our homes.

Our grandsons, ages 4 - 8, were staying in our home over the Christmas holiday. I happen to pass through the kitchen during breakfast time. Grandma had placed the various cereal options on the kitchen table. I was surprised to hear five year old Caleb reading the nutritional value of each one. He knew exactly how many grams of sugar and protein each contained. If a five year old gets it, why not a fifteen year old?