Church-fil-a

Chick-fil-a is my first choice when looking for a quick place to grab a bite to eat.  I like the atmosphere and the food is good.  There is also a consistency to the level of service.  Being from up north, I was not familiar with Chick-fil-a until we moved to Dallas thirty years ago.  I enjoyed the food the first time I tried it, but it was a visit from a Chick-fil-a owner that made me a loyal fan.   I was serving as youth and young adult minister at Holy Cross Lutheran Church.  He stopped by to drop off an information packet and some job applications.  He was hoping I would pass them on to members of the youth group.  I was impressed with his openness about his faith and his desire to mentor young people.  He also talked about Chick-fil-a’s program to help student employees set aside money for their education. 

Ypulse recently published an article on the favorite restaurants among young people ages 13-35.  I was surprised because at the top of the list was Chick-fil-a. I would have expected Starbucks (#5) and Chipotle (#13) to the leaders but it seem like young people share my passion for Chick-fil-a.  In case you are curious, Taco Bell, McDonald’s and Subway were the others in the top five. 

I think the church could learn some things from Chick-fila.

 

A welcoming Smile: People who work at Chick-fil-always seem to be happy.  They greet you with a smile.  I have visited churches where no one greeted me; much less met me with a smile.  Often we get so engaged talking and checking in with friends that we miss and even ignore the strangers in our midst.  There are no strangers at Chick-fil-a.

Servant heart:  “Can I refresh your drink?”  That is not something you will hear at other fast food restaurants.  There are actually people at Chick-fil-a who want to serve you.  There are workers who just walk around clearing tables, picking up trash and making sure customer’s needs a met.  It seems like everyone at Chick-fil-a has servant heart.

Mentor youth: All fast food restaurants depend on young people to fill out their staff.  Chick-fil-a seems to do a better job of training and then mentoring their young workers.  Students who are working their first part-time job are not a disposable commodity.  They are individuals who are at the beginning of a life-long journey. 

In-N-Out Burger is another chain that seems to have caught the vision.  Since they are still viewed as a regional chain, they did not make the Ypulse list.  They too are a faith-based company and I see many of the same characteristics.  Oh yes, and when you are done with your fries if you turn over the container you will find a scripture verse. 

Our Dreams vs. Their Dreams

I was in my first year on the staff at Lutheran High School of Dallas.  I had been hired as school counselor but that was only a half time position.  To be full time I needed to fill out my schedule and had to be in the classroom a couple periods a day.  I ended up teaching psychology and 7^th grade math.  With a Masters in counseling, teaching psychology was very much in my comfort zone.  Teaching math was another matter.  I will admit I was always just one lesson ahead in the teacher’s manual.  It was in the middle of the second semester that I had my first experience with “parent wrath.”  The head of the math department had informed me that I needed to test the students on their skill level in order to determine which students would take pre-algebra as 8^th graders.  At that point I was naïve in terms of what this meant.  Starting algebra in middle school put students into a college prep track.  That did not mean the students who took an additional year of math were doomed to failure, but rather they were not ready for the abstract concepts involved in algebra.

I was not ready for the backlash from parents whose children were not going to be taking algebra as 8^th graders.  You would have thought I had destined them for life-long failure.  The first question most of them asked, after we had moved past “this is not fair,” was what can I do to change this.  Some asked for their students to retake the test, others immediately wanted to hire a tutor.  The bottom line was most them were willing to do whatever it took to get what they felt their child deserved.

This was not limited to academics.  I know there were parents who donated time and money to the athletic program in hopes that it would earn their child a spot in the starting line-up.  I know the same thing went on in other extra-curricular activities as well.  Parents will go to almost any length, at almost any cost, to insure their child’s success.

I thought of all this as I read about the recent college admission scandal.  Some parents are still willing to pay big bucks to get their children in prestigious school in order to guarantee their success.  Yes, unfortunately those with wealth have a leg up when it comes to opening the door to certain schools.

When I wrote my book Parenting without Guilt: Avoiding the Seven Things Parents do to Screw up Their Kids I dedicated a whole chapter to living your dreams vicariously through your kids.  One danger in parenting is that we see the possibility to atone for our failures in the lives of our children, not realizing the danger involved.  They do not always share our dreams and aspirations.  During my years both as a DCE and school counselor I tried to help students cast a vision of what they wanted to be.  Once that vision was cast, I would help them chart a path to reaching it.  Sure, parents played a role in the process.  Usually, they provided some financial resources.  But, more importantly they were supporters and encouragers. There is no greater satisfaction as a parent than seeing your child realize their dreams

Reflections on Turning 73

I recently celebrated another birthday.  Overall, it was a pretty typical day.  It’s probably a sign of the times that one of the things on my agenda that day was a visit to my chiropractor.  It took me a long time to discover that other than my wife, I needed another person to keep me in line.  I did hear from all three of our kids and got some crazy cards.  There were also some meaningful greetings on Facebook.  I do feel loved and appreciated, and no I do not feel like 73. 

There are a couple of things that I have learned along the way.  I wish I had learned some of them sooner, but then one thing I have learned is “no regrets.” 

Daily quiet time alone with the Lord is not an option.  I wish I had learned this earlier in my ministry years.  For decades my spiritual life was a mess.   I wanted to do “great things for the Lord” not realizing I needed to be spiritually fit to do that.  It was during my time as school counselor at Lutheran High of Dallas that I realized I needed to be equipped spiritually for each day.  My days started early because I needed be ready for what God would put before me that day.  God never let me down.  Time and again he gave me exactly what I needed.  That routine continues to this day.

Live John 3:17.  “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” I am not called to judge those I meet.  I only called to love them.  My prayer each day is that people might come to know Jesus through me.  It is a vastly different world than the one I grew up in.  The church is no longer viewed as a safe place, rather as a institution that is judgmental and hostile toward those outside its walls.  If the image of the church is to change, it must begin with me.  I must love them for who they are, who I would like them to be.  Only then is there hope they will become who God wants them to be.

I have learned to value family and friends.  I cherish the time I get to spend with my family.  We are so blessed to have all of our children and grandchildren within an hour drive.  I especially value the honest one-on-one talks that I can have each of them.  I value my church family at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church.  I feel especially blessed to be part of our daughter, Katie’s, music ministry.  I also treasure the close relationship I have with my Bible study buddies, Dave, Gary and Dan.  I also am grateful to be part of the DFW-DCE community.  Their youthful spirit and enthusiasm keeps me young and in touch with the realities of ministry today.

God is good.  I pray that he continues to give me good health and a youthful spirit. 

The Church and The Gender Issue

The United Methodist Church made national news last week.  The country’s largest Protestant denomination ended its national convention split over the issue of same-sex marriage and the ordination of LGBT clergy.  Officially the Methodist Church voted to maintain the traditional stance on marriage and ordaining gay clergy, but almost half (47%) the delegates to the convention disagreed.   

In some manner, every mainline denomination faces a similar dilemma.  How do you balance the traditional biblical stance with the shift in culture?  How do you stay relevant but maintain God’s plan for marriage and procreation?

In my mind God’s desire for is for a marriage to be between one man and one woman.  Throughout scripture from the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:24) on, God blesses the relationship between a man and a women.  All marriages and references to marriage in the Bible involve men and women.  The problem with this perspective today is we live in a post-Christian society.  Much of the world operates from a “what feels good for me” perspective.  According to research on today’s teens from the Barna Group, 33% of members of Generation Z 33% of those polled gender has more to do with how a person feels.  While 48% of those surveyed says sex orientation is determined at birth, 12% of those polled say they are “not sure” how a person’s primary gender is determined.  It is obvious today’s teens struggle with this the issue of gender identity.

So, where does this leave us?  Yes we are holding to values that seem outdated from a worldly perspective.  The other thing to remember is that we are called to love people for who they are, not who we want them to be.  That includes those who live lifestyles or hold opinions that run counter to ours.  Remember Jesus words to Nicodemus in John 3:17, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”  From my perspective we are called not to condemn or judge those whose lifestyle or opinions we find objectionable.  Instead, we are called to love them and point them to Jesus.  Only when they come to know Jesus and study God’s word is there hope that they might come to realize God’s desire for their lives.