Teen Says Thanks for a Second Chance

Last week Adriana Camarillo's parents got the message no parent want to hear, "your child has been seriously injured in an accident." 18 Year old Adriana was attending summer classes at her Grand Prairie, Texas high school. During a break from class she climbed into the backseat of a male student's Volkswagen Jetta. That driver got into a street race with another student. When the driver lost control, the car overturned and crashed into a tree. Critically injured Adriana had to be extricated from the crushed car.

Yesterday she was able to return to the scene of the accident. She carried with her a large sign saying thanks to those who had saved her life. She also had the opportunity to personally thank one of the men who came to her aid. Adriana, who was wearing a seatbelt, told those gathered, "There were people here supporting me, watching out for me. Not everybody gets a second chance at life when something like this happens." Adriana is still recovering from a severe concussion and broken verrtebrae.

Adriana mom, Elizabeth Camarillo, had words for all parents. "Teens need to be reminded to slow down and remember there are consequences for their actions."

That is a message that needs to be delivered to all teens. A lot of emphasis is put on teenagers who get behind the wheel and drive recklessly. Unfortunately, the victims very often are the innocent kids who made the decision to get into the car with them. Discuss this with your kids. It's a pretty good bet they can tell you which of their friends are responsible drivers and which ones aren't. That's where the line should be drawn. As for getting into a car with anyone that they don't know, the best bet is always to say "no" and find another ride.

Memories of Dad

Last Sunday was Father's Day. For me it was more like a Father's Weekend. Katie and her fiance, John, came over Friday night and fixed dinner for Barb and myself. Mark and his financee, Kristen, stopped by Sunday evening and brought dinner with them. As we were wrapping up our meal I heard from our oldest son, Peter, who had spent the afternoon golfing with our oldest grandson, Andrew. As you can tell I value family time.

One of the highlights of the day was reading an article by Evan Grant in the Dallas Morning News. Evan covers the Texas Rangers for the paper. He is from Atlanta, and as luck would have it the Rangers were playing the Braves this weekend. The trip was made even more special by the fact that his dad was able to attend the game with him on Friday night. This was no normal trip to the ballpark. Evan's dad, Sheldon, is dying of cancer. He's been under the care of a hospice nurse for two months. Sheldon Grant can only see shadows and could barely hear the P.A. announcer, but that did not dull his enthusiasm. In spite of his declining health he wanted a bag of peanuts, and Evan marveled that he could still shell them himself. Evan recalled that forty years earlier his dad had taken him to his first Atlanta Braves Game. That time they stayed to the end, but this time his dad said he was tired in the sixth and asked to leave.

I have similar baseball memories with my dad. Growing up in Detroit we were Tiger fans. Old Briggs Stadium, later renamed Tiger Stadium, was the home ballpark. I remember my first game. The Tiger won 1 - 0, the only run scoring on a Frank House homerun. A rookie named Al Kaline was sick that day and did not play. The last game I watched with my dad was the All Star Game in 2005. My dad was dying of cancer and I went to Detroit to spend a last few days with him. Watching the All Star Game was a family tradition. I knew dad's days were numbered when he couldn't make it past the 3rd inning. One dad rule: You never left a ball game before it was over.

Not all of us are baseball fans, but hopefully all of us have something that links us to those we love. Maybe it's football or camping. Perhaps it's attending movies or concerts together. Whatever it is, celebrate it for all it's worth. Our time on this earth is short, and we never know which Father's Day, or Mother's Day will be our last time to say, "Thanks for the memories."

The Dallas Mavericks: Teachable Moments

Sports fans not just in the DFW community, but across th country, have been captivated by the Dallas Mavericks and their winning the NBA Championship. Those who know me are aware that I have a certain disdain when it comes to professional basketball. As a coach myself, I compare the NBA to the World Wrestling Federation: Way too much drama. It might be called basketball, but it's not the way the game was intended to be played. The twenty-four second clock puts too much emphasis on offense, which is only half the game. Secondly, some of the violations, like traveling and palming the ball, are seldom called. I could go on, but you get the picture.

I am, however, excited for the DFW community. It's nice to go through an entire month and not hear a word from Jerry Jones or the Cowboys, especially since the Rangers seem to have returned to mediocrity. In my opinion, the Mavericks won because they could play defense. I am also happy for Dirk Nowitzki because her seems to be the anti-hero, shy and pretty humble.

For parents: there are some teachable moments in the success that the Mavericks have found. It begins with Team Work. The Miami Heat had the superstars, but the Mavericks had players who could function as a unit. As I watched Game 6 I was amazed at their passing skills and the way they anticipated each others moves. Secondly: They model commitment . Dirk had his opportunities to play elsewhere, but chose to stay in Dallas because he felt he owed it to the fans. Even owner, Mark Cuban, showed a sense of commitment to others. His decision to have former owner, Don Carter, receive the trophy was very classy. Lastly: for the most part the Mavericks let their actions speak for themselves. There was little trash talking and no gloating or celebrating on the court until their mission was accomplished.

In the midst of celebrating the Championship, take time to talk with your teens about what we can learn from the Mavericks.

Rules Without Consequences Make no Sense

The Irving, Texas School District made local headlines last week when they announced they would once again count homework as part of a student's grade. This reverses a decision made a year ago. The rationale: More high school students were receiving failing grades under the new policy. My immediate response was, "Da."

Having spent years working in a high school setting, I have seen the value of homework. I also know that most students view it with a certain degree of disdain. As a teacher, homework usually accounted for 20% of the total grade in my classroom. Students who were poor test takers even benefited from having their daily work graded. Even then, given a choice those students would have avoided taking assignments home. There had to be consequences attached to assigning homework. Assigments reinforced what had happened in the classroom, and in some cases challenged the students to take the principle taught to the next level.

Most parents are aware of this. If you have a rule, there needs to be consequence if the rule is broken. If a child breaks their curfew they need to forfeit double the time the next weekend: Thirty minutes late means one hour. If they fail to do their chores, it means giving up going out one night the following weekend or loss another privilege.

We all need rule to insure that their is structure in our lives. There also needs to consequences when we break the rules. So, what are the consequences when a parent does not hold up their end of the bargain?

You Can't Hurry Love

It was quite a weekend for our family. On Saturday we helped our daughter Katie move into a new apartment that she and her fiance, John, will share after they are married in September. We were planning on hosting all of the family on Memorial Day. That turned into a special celebration when our youngest son, Mark, called Sunday night to tell us that he and his girl friend, Kristen, were engaged. Two weddings are now on our agenda. We are excited for both Katie and Mark, and feel blessed that like our oldest son, Peter, they have found their soul mates.

To be honest, Barb and I often wondered whether either Katie or Mark would find a life partner. Both went through four years of college without having a serious dating relationship. Mark has been in full-time ministry here in Dallas for over six year. Katie got her masters degree before starting her full-time career. As a parent, it's easy to be concerned that your adult children will never find a mate.

We have learned some things in the process. They are principles I think every parent of a teenager, or young adult need to keep in mind.

You can't hurry love. It's easy to see that as a trivial statement, thanks to the Supremes and Phil Collins, but it's a fact. As much as we would like to program or plan our children's lives, we can't. Parent's should never play the role of matchmaker.

Remember, your role is to be a consultant and not a manager. It's ok to express your opinion, but you cannot run someone else's life. Even if your adult child enters into a relationship that you don't feel good about, it has to be their decision. And don't ever say, "I told you so."

Prayer is vital. We are in constant prayer for all of our children and grandchildren. One of my petitons has been that Katie and Mark would find God-fearing mates. I was persistent in that request. I was also confident that in His own time, God would answer that prayer. Once again God has proven his goodness.