In my last two blogs I have focused on the issue of why some many teens and young adults are walking away from the church. Earlier this week I read an article that approached the topic from the opposite point of view. Jon Nielson, a veteran youth pastor, proposed three traits of youth who don't leave the church.
He begins by calling those within the church to get back to an understanding of what salvation is: "a miracle from God through the working of the Holy Spirit." He states that we need to stop talking about "good kids" who attend church and youth group regularly, and focus on their faith. Our strongest weapon is prayer. We need to be praying for our kids and their faith.
Secondly, teens that stay faithful to God have been equipped for the challenges that they will face. In Jon Nielson's words, "They have been equipped and not entertained." We need to remember that these kids are growing up in a world that is hostile toward the church and the values it stands for. Whether the issue is evolution or homosexuality, teens need to not just be taught what is right and what is wrong, but why. They need to be able to see all contemporary issues through the lens of Holy Scripture.
Lastly, they have been raised in families that celebrate God's grace. Their parents preached the Gospel to them, but they also live it. Remember Ephesians 6:4, "Parents don exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
While I agree with much of what Jon Nielson writes, I would add two additional traits. Such teens attend churches that passionately seek to engage them in worship and Bible study. Such worship communities are also made up of adults who seek to model discipleship and have a desire to share their faith traditions with the next generation.
As the Body of Christ we need to be people of hope and live as such.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Are We Too Judgemental?
I spend four hours every Wednesday as a volunteer ambassador at DFW Airport. I assist travelers at an information booth in Terminal C. It's a great place to people watch and I ave seen and met all kinds. I thought I had seen it all until one young man got off a flight a couple of weeks back. It was hard not to notice him. His hair was buzzed short except for a crop of hair that formed a perfect curl right in the front. That hair looked like a rainbow: pink, yellow, and green. I thought of the trolls our daughter played with as a child. It didn't end there. He was wearing a pink sweater vest, lime green pants and pink ballet slippers. My immediate reaction was: "Weirdo."
As it was, he wandered over to the monitors that are above my podium. He stood amidst the crowd of travelers staring, obviously looking for his flight. Thirty seconds went past and he still seemed puzzled. Finally I decided I had to intervene. "Do you need help?" I asked. As it turned out he was flying to New York,and was confused by the airport codes. We located his gate and I pointed him in the right direction. He then asked if I was a really a volunteer. When I responded in the affirmative his response was, "Cool, Thanks for doing that." In the end he seemed like a nice guy. Was he Gay? I don't know. Maybe he was just a little eccentric. The reality is he needed help and I assisted him. I couldn't help but thinking I was doing what Jesus would have done.
That's the kind of Savior we have. Jesus accepted people for who were were and loved them that way. Once the relationship was established, he then had the opportunity to meet their need or confront their sin. Without first having a relationship, that would never happen.
Last week I wrote about two of the reasons young people are leaving the church. My initial reaction to the young man at the airport is an example of another thing that young people see wrong with the church and Christians in general. We tend to be judgemental and exclusive.
Young Americans have been shaped by a culture that esteems open-mindedness and tolerance. As a result young adults are the most eclectic generation in American history. Many young people view the church as a country club that is only open to people who fit certain criteria. When individuals don't fit the mold, they will probably feel excluded and unwelcome. Often, outward appearance becomes the criteria.
One of the challenges that Christian parents and other adults face is now to be accepting of others, without compromising who we are and what we stand for. If we are secure in our faith, encountering people who are different should not be a problem. It is always best to love and accept first. Once we have a relationship we are in a position to talk about our faith and values.
As it was, he wandered over to the monitors that are above my podium. He stood amidst the crowd of travelers staring, obviously looking for his flight. Thirty seconds went past and he still seemed puzzled. Finally I decided I had to intervene. "Do you need help?" I asked. As it turned out he was flying to New York,and was confused by the airport codes. We located his gate and I pointed him in the right direction. He then asked if I was a really a volunteer. When I responded in the affirmative his response was, "Cool, Thanks for doing that." In the end he seemed like a nice guy. Was he Gay? I don't know. Maybe he was just a little eccentric. The reality is he needed help and I assisted him. I couldn't help but thinking I was doing what Jesus would have done.
That's the kind of Savior we have. Jesus accepted people for who were were and loved them that way. Once the relationship was established, he then had the opportunity to meet their need or confront their sin. Without first having a relationship, that would never happen.
Last week I wrote about two of the reasons young people are leaving the church. My initial reaction to the young man at the airport is an example of another thing that young people see wrong with the church and Christians in general. We tend to be judgemental and exclusive.
Young Americans have been shaped by a culture that esteems open-mindedness and tolerance. As a result young adults are the most eclectic generation in American history. Many young people view the church as a country club that is only open to people who fit certain criteria. When individuals don't fit the mold, they will probably feel excluded and unwelcome. Often, outward appearance becomes the criteria.
One of the challenges that Christian parents and other adults face is now to be accepting of others, without compromising who we are and what we stand for. If we are secure in our faith, encountering people who are different should not be a problem. It is always best to love and accept first. Once we have a relationship we are in a position to talk about our faith and values.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
How Parents can Keep Their Teens Connected with the Church
David Kinnaman is president of the Barna Group and also the author of a new book, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving the Church and Rethinking Church. The books is the culmination of a five-year project that included eight national studies, as well as interviews with teens, young adults, parents and church professionals.
The author makes it clear that their is no one single reason for young people leaving the church. Rather,there are six significant themes indicating why three out of five (59%) of young Christians are choosing to disconnect with the church. For this entry in my blog I would like to focus on two of those themes.
Churches seem overprotective. Today's teens and young adults have an unprecedented access of ideas and worldviews. Their desire is to connect with the world they live in. They get turned off when the church gets defensive or re-acts out of fear. Almost one quarter (23%) of teens and young adults said, "Christians demonize everything outside the church." Other perceptions were that the church ignores the real world and that the church is too concerned that movies, music and video games are harmful.
Teens' and young adult's experience of Christianity is shallow. Many young people leave the church because they feel something is lacking in their experience. They sense a lack of passion among adult believers. One third (31%) said, "church is boring." Others felt the church was not relevant to them. A quarter (24%) stated, "the Bible is not taught clearly or often enough,"
These trends are not totally new. In her 2004 book, Practicing Passion, Kenda Creasy Dean wrote about teens quests for a more passionate church.
Now the questions must be: What can parents do to address the issues.. No Christian parent wants their child to abandon their faith. Let me make a couple of suggestions:
We can't ignore or become defensive about contemporary issues. We also must hold our church accountable for addressing the issues as well. Nothing is accomplished when all we tell teens is that, ".... is wrong." We need to give them the biblical resources so that they can grapple with the issues and draw their own conclusions. This is where our church, especially the youth ministry staff, become a vital resource.
We must live out our faith passionately. If our teens see the church as lacking passion, the change must begin with us. We must be into God's Word on a daily basis and practice a walk of Christian discipleship. When we live the faith, we are providing our kids with the best example possible.
Lastly, when we see enthusiasm within the church we need to "fan the flame," rather than "quench the fire."
The author makes it clear that their is no one single reason for young people leaving the church. Rather,there are six significant themes indicating why three out of five (59%) of young Christians are choosing to disconnect with the church. For this entry in my blog I would like to focus on two of those themes.
Churches seem overprotective. Today's teens and young adults have an unprecedented access of ideas and worldviews. Their desire is to connect with the world they live in. They get turned off when the church gets defensive or re-acts out of fear. Almost one quarter (23%) of teens and young adults said, "Christians demonize everything outside the church." Other perceptions were that the church ignores the real world and that the church is too concerned that movies, music and video games are harmful.
Teens' and young adult's experience of Christianity is shallow. Many young people leave the church because they feel something is lacking in their experience. They sense a lack of passion among adult believers. One third (31%) said, "church is boring." Others felt the church was not relevant to them. A quarter (24%) stated, "the Bible is not taught clearly or often enough,"
These trends are not totally new. In her 2004 book, Practicing Passion, Kenda Creasy Dean wrote about teens quests for a more passionate church.
Now the questions must be: What can parents do to address the issues.. No Christian parent wants their child to abandon their faith. Let me make a couple of suggestions:
We can't ignore or become defensive about contemporary issues. We also must hold our church accountable for addressing the issues as well. Nothing is accomplished when all we tell teens is that, ".... is wrong." We need to give them the biblical resources so that they can grapple with the issues and draw their own conclusions. This is where our church, especially the youth ministry staff, become a vital resource.
We must live out our faith passionately. If our teens see the church as lacking passion, the change must begin with us. We must be into God's Word on a daily basis and practice a walk of Christian discipleship. When we live the faith, we are providing our kids with the best example possible.
Lastly, when we see enthusiasm within the church we need to "fan the flame," rather than "quench the fire."
Friday, March 9, 2012
Reflections on Grandparents Day
Barb and I spent this morning at our grandsons' school, St. Paul Lutheran School in Fort Worth, Texas. It was grandparents day and the church sanctuary was packed. They had a very nice assembly featuring the school choirs and orchestra. They also had a humorous version of Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader, with a senior couple matched against their granddaughter. Yes the student won.
The highlight for me was sitting with our oldest grandson,second grader Andrew. After he had showed me around his classroom and read a book to me, he asked if I would answer some questions. The questions had been printed out for him, but as he asked each one he listened patiently as I responded. He wanted to know where I was born (Detroit) and what kinds of games I liked to play as a child (outdoor activity baseball, indoor Monopoly). He also was curious about my first job (paperboy).
I reflected back on a conversation that our daughter, Katie, had with my grandmother. Katie was in middle school and had the assignment of interviewing someone who had experienced history. At that point grandma was one hundred years old: That's a lot of history. One of the questions was: What is the greatest invention during your lifetime. I was thinking the telephone or radio, but grandma trumped that, "electricity." She went on to describe what life was like before the electric light. Katie sat amazed.
Our children can learn so much from listening to the stories from previous generations. Some of those are stories of faith, other are of family traditions. Some are stories of tragedies and others of great accomplishments. Even in the world of social media and mass communication, there is still a need for storytelling. Make sure that is part of your child's experience.
The highlight for me was sitting with our oldest grandson,second grader Andrew. After he had showed me around his classroom and read a book to me, he asked if I would answer some questions. The questions had been printed out for him, but as he asked each one he listened patiently as I responded. He wanted to know where I was born (Detroit) and what kinds of games I liked to play as a child (outdoor activity baseball, indoor Monopoly). He also was curious about my first job (paperboy).
I reflected back on a conversation that our daughter, Katie, had with my grandmother. Katie was in middle school and had the assignment of interviewing someone who had experienced history. At that point grandma was one hundred years old: That's a lot of history. One of the questions was: What is the greatest invention during your lifetime. I was thinking the telephone or radio, but grandma trumped that, "electricity." She went on to describe what life was like before the electric light. Katie sat amazed.
Our children can learn so much from listening to the stories from previous generations. Some of those are stories of faith, other are of family traditions. Some are stories of tragedies and others of great accomplishments. Even in the world of social media and mass communication, there is still a need for storytelling. Make sure that is part of your child's experience.
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