Frazzled Families

 You are in the middle of two years of your life you will not remember.”  There are certain comments that you not only remember, but where you can actually recall the exact location and circumstance.  In this case the words came from our good friend, Jean Heyse, as we stood in the driveway of the house, she shared with her husband Bob.  They were more than just friends.  Being a ministry family that was separated from the usually generational support system, we relied on church friends to come along side us and provide childcare, so we got a little break.  During our time in Dundee, Illinois Bob and Jean Heyse were our kids “surrogate grandparents.”

We were a somewhat unique family in that there is nine years difference between our oldest, Peter, and the next in line.  That meant at that point in time we had two children under the age of three and another who was on the verge of being a teenager.  Bob and Jean had stepped up to watch the youngest two while Barb and I enjoyed some time with Peter.  Now it was back to reality and Jean was offering both words of encouragement and truth.  Barb and I were both working full-time, she as a pre-school teacher and church musician and I as a DCE.  It was a “crazy time.” 

I thought of those hectic times in the last week as I read about the struggles that parents have been going through in the last year.  The pandemic has greatly impacted the members of the Millennial generation who are now parents.  They have had to pivot, from life as they knew it prior to COVID-19 to being sheltered at home.  No school or daycare for the kids.  The commute to the office has become the journey from kitchen to the dining room table where they try to get work done on their laptop, while also overseeing their kids.  They are balancing careers, while also overseeing their children’s education. 

New research from The Barna Group is even greater proof of not only how frazzled young parent are, but also their level of concern.  Nine out of ten parents report that they are concerned about their child’s academic and social growth.  In addition, anxiety and depression are at an all-time high among children and teens.  The same study also indicates that Christian parents have the same concern about the spiritual development of their children. 

I guess it is my “glass half-full” perspective that has caused me to see this as a rare opportunity for the church.  Those who minister to children and their parents have never had a more open opportunity.  Parents are hurting and they are begging for someone to listen to their cry and come along side them.  The challenge for the church is that the current circumstance calls for a different approach to ministry.  The big, flashy, “Sunday Morning Experience” approach no longer works.  This is a time when we need to take our ministry to them via social media and one-on-one contacts where they live. 

Millennial parents do not want “canned program” or lots of activities to entertain their kids.  They are crying for people who will listen to them, and them come along side them to help them navigate this difficult world.  The window of opportunity is quickly closing.  While we want to celebrate the re-opening of worship centers and enjoy fellowship with those we have missed, the real ministry is waiting for us in our neighborhoods. 

A Dose of Millennial Reality

 

After having gone through almost a year and a half of living under the threat of a pandemic, it is not surprising that my personal priorities and concerns are vastly different than they were two years ago.  I have commented to my family that I feel as if I have aged ten years since March of 2020.  As the death toll rose, I began to realize the possible impact and the issue of my own mortality became genuine.  In recent months both Barb and I have had to deal with health issues that brought that actuality into clearer focus.  Ensuring the financial future of our family, revisiting our will and even pre-planning our funerals have become higher priorities.  I have also become more focused on staying healthy, both physically and emotionally.  I have had to watch my diet much more than I did in the past.

I recently read an article that caused me to think about how different my priorities and concerns are different from those under the age of forty.  The information came from a recent study done by YPulse, a research company that tracks trends among Millennials and Gen Z’s.  It compared the top issues and concerns among those generations in 2020, verses 2019.  It is not surprising that COVID-19 replaced climate change/global warming as the top concern.  As expected, race/discrimination was listed second among their concerns.  What was shocking is what followed; Technology addiction, debt and personal finances and job security were the next highest concerns. 

While those of us over sixty-five are concerned about our health, and quality of life, those under forty are struggling with very practical issues.  As we consider our own mortality, they are wondering what their lives will be like in twenty to thirty years.  In the world where technology is advancing at an alarming rate, it is hard to comprehend what the future holds. 

This has drastic implications for a church that as struggled to stay relevant.  With most members over the age of sixty, it is not surprising that the conversation around the coffee pot on Sunday morning usually focuses on two things; our personal aches and pains and how the values have shifted to the point where the once forbidden has now become commonplace.  In the process, we expect the church to minister to us and our needs.  As a result, we can give little thought on how to reach and minister to those under forty.  We recognized that there is a void in congregational membership when it comes to young adults, but struggle to know how to overcome that.

It will only begin to change when we focus on seeking to understand the needs of those around us, especially those who belong to the younger generations.  We also need to remember that Millennials in particular are not looking for advice, as much as they are for individuals to come along side them and partner with them.  We must not only be messengers of hope but seek ways to help them address the issues facing them and their families.