Reflections on Entering a New Year

There is something about the week between Christmas and New Years Day that puts me in a  contemplative mood. It is probably enhanced by the fact that the house is quite again, after the Christmas Celebration earlier this week.  We had all the kids and grand kids here for twenty-four hours.  What a delight! 

Perhaps it is because I am growing old, and slowing down too I might add, I probably spent more time watching and listening this Christmas than in years past.  I still find it hard to believe that I am closer to seventy, than I am sixty.  Where has the time gone?  Forty-three years of marriage, three married children and three grandsons.  I guess I really am old, but then I talk to my mom who is ninety-one (something I do every Sunday) and she puts things in perspective.  Mom has always had trouble hearing and now her eyes are failing as well, but she still finds reasons to celebrate life.  There is little complaining.  She is more concerned about my welfare and that of my family than anything else.

So what does all this mean, as we stand on the brink of 2013?  I don't know what the year will hold.  I am sure there there will changes - especially if our leaders can't get together and find a solution to this fiscal crisis our nation is in.  Getting older does open up the possibility of health issues.  My wife, Barb, is still going through the transition into retirement.  Through it all I can honestly say that God is good and faithful.  Our future here on this earth is always in a state of flux, but our future is secure.  The Christ Child took care of that.  2013,  like 2012, will be another year to rest in the arms of His Peace. 

As one year rolls into the next, this is the message we must convey to our children and grandchildren.  Jesus told his disciples, "In this world you will have trouble, but fear not: I have overcome the world." (John 16:33b).

In Search of Christmas Peace

I sense that many of those around me are having a difficult time finding peace this Christmas.  We are still struggling with the murders of the children in Newtown, Connecticut and then there is the threat of the "fiscal cliff."  This is not the first Christmas where I have experienced this.  I recall the past holiday seasons where there has been a sense of unrest.  1963 in particular comes to mind.  President Kennedy was assassinated only days before Thanksgiving and as a result there seemed to be a pall over the entire holiday season. 

Tragedy and unrest are nothing new in this world.  Consider the world into which the Christ Child was born.  The Jews were an oppressed people.  Even the lives of the holy family had been disrupted because Caesar had decided he need to make sure he was getting his fair share.  On arrival in Bethlehem they found themselves "street people," their only shelter being a stable.  The tragedy came later when Herod, out of jealousy, ordered the murder of innocent children.

Very few people caught the vision of "Peace on Earth" in those days.  I believe that Mary and Joseph sensed it, as did the shepherds.  Simeon and Anna sensed it (see Luke 2:21-38).  I pray that you will sense it too during this Christmas Season.  Remember Jesus' words to his disciples, "In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world." (John 16:33).

Celebrate well this Christmas.  In the midst of tragedy and uncertainty we have peace... the peace found in a manger. 

Every Gunman has a Parent

I was left numb today by another mass shooting.  This time it is an elementary school and children are among the victims.  This follows another shooting earlier this week in a shopping mall in suburban Portland, Oregon.  It's at the point where nothing shocks me anymore.  Schools, factories, offices and even churches have been the scenes for mass killings.  Once again we are hearing cries for stronger gun control.  I have never owned, or even fired, a gun, but I have many friends who do.  All of them seem to be normal, emotionally stable individuals.  I don't think outlawing guns, other than for hunting purposes, is the solution.

What I do think we need to be doing a better job at is identifying those who could potentially become involved in anti-social behavior.  Like cancer, early detection means a better possibility of effectively treating.   During my years of working with teens I can recall numerous times when I saw the beginnings of behavioral patterns that I saw as troubling.  I usually sought out a colleague who also knew the teen, seeking their opinion.  If they saw the same pattern and shared the same concern; The individual was on my radar.  I usually attempted to get close to the teen, when possible within their peer group.  If I sensed their friends shared a similar concern, it was time to get parents involved.  This is usually when things got complicated.  You see, in most cases parents "wear rose colored glasses" when it comes to the behavior of their child.  Seldom did parents share my perspective.  Even if they did they were reluctant to act, usually taking a "they will grow out of it," stance.  Rarely did they ask me to refer them to someone for professional help. 

I sincerely believe we need to address this issue within the family structure.  When parents see their children having anger control issues, exhibiting violent tendencies or the beginning of anti-social behavior, they need to address the issue and not ignore it.  Secondly, we need to move past the stigma of asking for professional counseling and help.  The reality is we all need some professional help somewhere along the line.  When it comes to our teens, we might just be saving their future, as well as the lives of others who they might potentially harm along the way.

Putting an end to violence begins at home.

Young Souls at Risk

I just finished reading the book Sticky Faith by Kara Powell and Chap Clark.  At a time when so many youth and young adults are turning their backs on the institutional church this book is must read book for parents and all Christians who have a relationship with a teenager.  If you are a member of a church, this includes you.  The nurture and caring of children and young people is a responsibility we share. 

A Sticky Faith is:

Both internal and external,
Both personal and communal, and,
Both mature and maturing. 

Such a faith continues to grow and flourish during the college and young adult years; the exact time when so many formerly "strong and committed" Christian youth are walking out the door.

One key component is a "Sticky web of Relationships" (chapter 5 in the book).  One concept Kara a and Chap introduce is the 1/5 ratio.  As an educator I thought I understood the concept, but the authors are not talking about one adult for every five students in a youth group or Bible class.  They are suggesting that every Christian young person should have five adults in their lives who are having a significant impact on the spiritual development of that teenager. 

I suggested similar relationships in my book Parenting Without Guilt.  One mistake parents make is not providing a support system for their teens.  It's important that the adults who make up that support system share a similar faith and values perspective with mom and dad.  Youth leaders, scout leaders and coaches all are in a position to impact the lives of your kids.   Kara and Chap go a step further in being more intentional.  They suggest maintaining an open line of communication with those folks.  They encourage parents to talk about those relationship with their teen and including those adults in their daily prayers. 

If the teens in our worship community are to have a Sticky Faith that grows and matures during their college years and beyond, it is a shared responsibility to make that happen.  More than the future of the church is at stake.  We are talking about young souls that are at risk.