Tear Down the Silos and Pitch a Tent

As 2020 begins I am in the early stages of a new project.  I had been saying for a couple of years that I did not want to write another book.  First-off, I know from experience it is a lot of work.  Secondly, I knew the book I wanted to write would make some people uncomfortable, maybe even angry.  As a confirmed affirmation addict I was not sure I wanted to take that risk. 

Two events changed my mind.  While I was recuperating from my August hip replacement surgery I had trouble sleeping.  Restless night give you time to think.  Many of the thoughts seemed to focus on the future of mainline denominations in America.  I am sure it was God sending me a message.  The concept for my next project was becoming clear.  Still I put it off.    

Then in October our oldest son, Peter, received a call to be mission developer mission in Towson, Maryland.  I watch Peter and his family struggle with the decision.  It was clear that God had plans that even he did not understand.  He admitted to continually saying “no” but God kept sending a “yes” messages.  In the end Peter accepted the call.  He will start his new ministry in a few weeks.  Our oldest grandson, Andrew (age 16), will accompany him.  Amy, and the other two boys, Caleb (13) and Jonathan (12), will finish the school year here in Texas before moving.  Peter’s leap of faith provided the nudge I needed. 

So, I am beginning work on Tear Down the Silos and Pitch a Tent: The Future of the Church in America.  God has given me a vision of a church that looks very different from that of the typical congregation most of us grew up with.  While I am excited about the future of Christianity, there are probably more questions than answers at this point.  I just know the traditional formula of putting up a building and expecting people to come no longer works.  While the traditional model for parish ministry served us well for decades, in most cases does fit our current culture. 

I would ask for your prayers as I move forward.  My hope is to not just write a book, but provide a resource that worship communities can use as they look to the future.  I have no time table but promise to keep you updated. 

Joy to the World, Always

I am writing this in the afternoon of December 24^th.  In a few hours I will be singing in the bass section of the choir for the Christmas Eve Candlelight Services at our church.  One of the extreme blessings of being part of Prince of Peace Lutheran Church – Carrollton, Texas, is the opportunity to sing in the vocal ensemble once a month and be part of the festival choir that sings for holidays.  Tonight the choir will join the church orchestra to again celebrate the birth of the Christ Child.  An added blessing is the opportunity to work under the direction of our daughter, Katie Seale, who serves as director of worship and the arts at Prince of Peace. 

Tonight the hymn Joy to the World serves as the bookends of the service.  We are doing it as a choral anthem as a call to worship and again at the close of the service as a congregational hymn. 

I recently learned that Isaac Watts who composed the lyrics never intended for the song to a Christmas carol.  In 1719, Watts published a book of poems in which each poem was based on a psalm. But rather than just translate the original Old Testament texts, he adjusted them to refer more explicitly to the work of Jesus as it had been revealed in the New Testament.  Psalm 98 was the basis for one of those poems. Watts intended to focus on Jesus’s role as King of both his church and the whole world. More than a century later, the second half of this poem was slightly adapted and set to music of George Frederic Handel. Since that time it has become one of the most famous of all Christmas carols.

The fourth verse especially delivers a message we need not just at Christmas but every day of the year.

He rules the world with truth and grace,

And makes the nations prove

The glories of His righteousness,

And wonders of His love.

What a powerful reminder at a time when the world needs God’s truth and grace more than ever.  May the message of the hymn keep us focused on our calling to be messengers of grace, peace, mercy and truth not just during this season but throughout 2020 and beyond. 

Livinginsin.com

I spend one afternoon every week volunteering at DFW International Airport. As a DFW Ambassador I assist traveler negotiate their way around the five terminals that make up the largest airport (50 square miles) in the country.  On a typical shift I assist around a hundred harried visitors.  In some cases I even escort people who I am convinced would never find their way to the gate unless someone held their hand.  I have even helped people get reconnected with their lost passports, always a satisfying task.  I have met some interesting people along the way.  I especially enjoy hearing people’s stories.

A few weeks ago a couple came to me to ask for suggestions.  Their flight had been delayed for three hours and they were looking for ways to pass their time.  From appearance I assumed the two were probably about my age.  Time was I would have assumed they were married but things being what they are I have learned to not presume anything.  After asking where they were from, I asked “How long have you two been together?”  We’re not married, just good friends.” the fellow announced.  It turns out they were good friends in high school but now shared the common experience of having a spouse die.  They live about a hundred miles apart but enjoyed weekly rendezvous.  They also vacationed together regularly. This time they were heading to Reno.  “My friends just laugh at me,” he noted.  “My hashtag is “livinginsin.com.”

I guess that is what we have come to.  People have found creative ways to respond to God’s observation that, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)  These days that companionship can be found in a variety of shapes and sizes.  A recent poll of those under forty determined that more people had lived with someone outside of marriage than had been actually been married.  I am not sure if that even includes those involved in same-sex relationships.  According to the same poll about two-thirds of adults over fifty also view couples living together outside of marriage as being acceptable.  

It is an interesting time to be a disciple of Jesus.  Sharing grace and mercy has never been more challenging, but then I am hard to press to think of a time when people did not need to hear it loud and clear. 

A NASCAR Lesson in Discipleship

I am an avid NASCAR fan.  As a Lutheran, it seems like the perfect sport for me to be following.  What other sporting event begins with an invocation and allows me to carry in my own beer.  I especially enjoy the intensity of watching a race live.  When they are racing at Texas Motor Speedway, I am probably there.  Attending a summer race at the speedway in Michigan has become a tradition for my brothers and me.   My interest in racing started early.   I remember watching Monday night races at Motor City Speedway in Detroit on TV.  When I was old enough to drive I took my brothers to watch the Saturday night races at the quarter-mile track in Mount Clemens.  I was a fan of The King, Richard Petty, long before the races were broadcasts live on television.  A few years ago my family gave me the gift of driving school for Christmas.  I got to spend a Saturday evening at the speedway learning for to drive a stock car and then got to spend time on the track.  You can check it out on Youtube/NASCAR Grandpa. 

I am also able to draw many parallels between stock car racing and the walk of discipleship.  NASCAR is a team sport.  Behind every driver is a crew of professionals.  There is a specialist for almost every aspect of the car.  The cars are hand-built from the tires up.  When the cars arrive at the track for each race they are set up for that particular race.  The crew then makes fine-tuned adjustments to accommodate weather and track conditions.  One of the most decisive aspects is the balance of the car.  A half-pound of air added to a tire can make a critical difference.  A perfectly balanced care is able to reach optimum speed.  It’s a fine balance.  Step over that line and the car is out of control. The race team that does the best job often finds themselves celebrating in Victory Lane.

 

In many way that is like the balance that contemporary Christians are trying to achieve.  We are called to be disciples in a changing world.  In Romans 11, Paul challenges us to “not conform but to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  At the same time we are called by Jesus to be people of love, compassion and mercy.  The Gospels provide countless examples of Jesus showing grace and forgiveness toward those who were living lifestyles that ran counter to God’s plan.  It is a fine line.  How do we stay true to God’s desires when it comes to a moral lifestyle, yet show love toward those whose actions seem to run counter to God’s plan? 

I sincerely believe the answer does not lie inside church walls.  Jesus does not call us to a world where we are insulated from the current culture.  Instead He challenges us to be living, breathing disciples who share His message of hope.  That requires self-control on our part and compassion toward those who are lost.  It is a delicate balance.

Friendsgiving

Thanksgiving Day is an American tradition.   Legend is a 1621 feast in Plymouth, Massachusetts was prompted by a good harvest, which the Pilgrims celebrated with Native Americans, who helped them pass the last winter by giving them food in the time of scarcity. On October 31, 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a presidential proclamation making the holiday to the next to last Thursday in November.   Two years later, on December 26, 1941, he signed a joint resolution of Congress changing the national Thanksgiving Day from the last Thursday in November to the fourth Thursday.

Recently, Millennials and Gen Z’s have added a new twist to the observation of Thanksgiving.  Friendsgiving adds the gift of friendship to the other blessings.  According to the Urban Dictionary; “Friendsgiving is the celebration of a Thanksgiving dinner with your friends.”   It refers to a large meal eaten with friends either on or near Thanksgiving. Young people are serious about their Friendsgiving celebrations: The internet if full of instructions, sample menus, rules, and even commandments for Friendsgiving. Initially, Friendsgiving was a much less formal celebration of a Thanksgiving meal. 

For traditional church people, a Friendsgiving meal might be like a church potluck held in the confines of someone’s home or apartment.  Everyone who attends agrees in advance to bring something.  The host is responsible for cooking the turkey and making sure there is a proper table setting for each guest.  A good guest also brings along a bottle of wine to share and an appropriate gift for the host. 

Some of the Friendsgiving Commandments include:

Thou shalt not plan to cook/prep/assemble food in the host’s kitchen.

Thou shalt remember thy friends with allergies.

Thou shalt not be offended if no one eats your dish.

Thou shalt not critique any dish — including your own.

Whether it is a traditional Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving you celebrate, I pray that you enjoy the fellowship and take time to also remember our God who is the Giver of all good things.

Understanding Why They Don't Like Us

“Why is it that a generation that is so passionate about making a difference rejects an institution that is all about making a difference?”   A pastor friend asked me that question recently.  He was referring to today’s teens and young adults and their relationship with the church.  Millennials and Gen Z’s are quick to respond to the needs of children who live in poverty.  They can be passionate about protecting the environment.  Members of Generation Z in particular want to make a difference.  Their goal is to make the world a better place.  It seems like a perfect fit for young folks to want to partner with the church, a body that is all about grace, mercy and compassion has its roots.

 

The unfortunate reality is almost a third of Millennials and a quarter of Gen Z’s view Christians a hypocritical.  From their perspective Christians talk a good game but really do not carry through.  Another major stumbling block for people who have grown up in the world of STEM education (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) it is easy to see the church in conflict with what they have been taught.  An additional problem is their perception that the church is not a place to ask question.  In the minds of some young people the church does not even want to discuss issues like creation or moral issues. 

A recent report from Pew Research added another aspect to the question, why don’t Millennials and Gen Z’s like the church?  The sad fact is they do like the church meddling in the political arena.  In the highly charged, deeply divided atmosphere that currently exist; young people would like to see the church quiet, perhaps in the role of peacemaker. If anything, they want us to be praying for our leaders in general and not taking sides. 

Kids Want to be Youtube Stars

I was recently returning from Detroit on a Southwest Airlines flight when I came across an interesting article in the in-flight magazine.  I normally don’t spend a lot of time reading the magazines found in the seat pocket.  It is usually limited to those periods during takeoff and landing when I am asked to “store my large electronic device.”  In this brief, one page, piece focused on kids and Youtube.  It offered the shocking stat that 29% of kids want to be Youtubers when they grow up. 

For those who are uninformed; a Youtuber is an individual who makes a living producing videos and posting them on the social media website.  Just how you make money producing videos that people can watch for free I quite frankly don’t know, but when it comes to computers and social media I am oblivious on a lot of things.  The truth is more kids want to be internet stars than astronauts.  I have to wonder what happened to the days when kids dreamed of being a fireman, professional athlete or even a doctor.

Then I got to thinking.  During my middle school years I dreamed of being a disc jockey.  We had a family friend who was the nighttime DJ on the most popular top 40 station in Detroit, WXYZ.  His on the air persona was Wacky Weiss but in actuality he was Fred Weiss who sang in the bass section in the church choir.  On evenings when he was doing a remote broadcast, which in those days was quite common, we would stop by and watch him at work.  I was hooked.  I thought that was coolest job in the world and I would spend hours in my room programing my own 45 rpm records and practicing my on-the-air voice.  One evening in college we got to talking and it was surprising how many of my dorm-mates did a similar thing. 

Perhaps being a Youtuber is not that ridiculous.  The important thing is make sure our kids are surrounded by adults who keep them grounded in terms of faith and values.  In the end we are to do all things to God’s glory.  The requires that all of us filter how we use social media through the lens of humility and servanthood. 

A Family Mission Trip

I grew up is a somewhat idyllic community on the eastside of Detroit.  The Motor City was a vibrant, and still relatively safe, place in the late 50’s and early 60’s.  My friends and I really considered the whole city our playground.  In the case of my siblings and I, we also grew up in a neighborhood surrounded by family.  My aunt and uncle, as well as my grandparents, lived within a few blocks.  My three great aunts also lived with a mile.  Until last summer my Uncle Don, a World War II veteran, still lived in a house in that neighborhood.  Detroit is not a hospitable place these days, but uncle had great neighbors who watched out for him.  Whenever we talked to him about moving he dug his feet in.  After a serious fall, he finally listened to his doctor.  My siblings and I moved him into an apartment in a senior community in July, with the promise to return to deal with the house.

The move was easy.   Cleaning out a house filled with sixty-plus years of memories was another issue.   My Uncle has lived alone in the house for the last seventeen years.  You can only begin to imagine the condition of the house.  It meant going through years of family records and sorting through lots of stuff.  We found some gems like my uncle’s original Erector Set and his army uniform.  I also brought home lots of pictures including my mom on her wedding day and my dad in his WW II Coast Guard uniform.  My Aunt Phyllis taught the 2^nd grade Sunday school class at St. James Lutheran Church in Grosse Pointe until her health declined.  In going through her room we found old Sunday school lesson books, children’s hymnals and gifts that she had bought for her students.

Probably the most meaningful finds were a copy of the paperwork from my great-great grandmother’s passage through Ellis Island in 1922 and Ration Book from WW II. Both not only reminded me of what my descendants had gone through but the way God blessed them.  Family Bibles and a copy of a Lutheran Hymnal in German further underscored the faith of my ancestors.   The whole experience left me more determined to live their legacy. I also want to pass the torch of faith to my my children and grandchildren.  

Reflecting on the Decline of Christianity in America

Christianity is on the decline in America.  I did not need an expert to tell me that, but I found the facts and figures in a new report from Pew Research.  There has been a 12% drop in the percentage of Americans adults who describe themselves as Christian in the last decade alone.  In surveys conducted in 2018 and 2019 65% of American adults describe themselves as Christian, down from 77% in 2009.  During the same period the number of religiously unaffiliated has grown from 17% in 2009 to 26% currently.  The unaffiliated includes those who identify as atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular.

While the study from Pew Research does not provide data on individual denominations it is a known fact that that membership in every mainline denomination is on the decline.  The study did break down Christians into two sub-groups, Protestants and Catholics.  Protestants showed a larger decline from 51% of the population in 2009 to 43% today.  In 2009 23% proclaimed to be Catholic and that has dropped to 20% in 2019. 

While I am not an expert I think my years in ministry have provided me with some insights.  Allow me to share what in my mind are two of the major reasons Christianity is on the decline.

The emphasis on preserving tradition: While maintaining our church buildings and preserving our liturgy is important, they are man-made.  Church buildings, no matter how majestic or historically significant, are just structures.  When the focus becomes maintain what we have, rather than expanding the kingdom, we are doomed.  The same can be said for the style of worship.   The hymns we sing and the liturgy we follow are not ordained by God.  They are only vehicles to be used.  The Gospel message is the only thing that remains constant.  How it is shared needs to be constantly changing to fit the time and needs of the people who need to hear it.

The focus on internal relationship:  We need to spend less time around the coffee pot visiting with friends and more time in the parking lot welcoming visitors.  Years ago when the church growth movement was in vogue, one of the principles was that when someone joins a church there is a six month window during which they will invite friends.  The truth being that after that time they become en-cultured, and part of the church family.  Whether it be youth group, women’s guild, men’s club or senior ministry our friends are not only the ones we share an interest with but the focus of our lives.  In the process we build a wall between us and those who are different.  So often those are the people who really need to hear the Gospel

All is not lost.  I sincerely believe God’s church will survive.  The Gospel message will still be preached.  Those who listen to God’s call and respond to the needs of this world will find their ministries blessed. 

Tear Down the Silos and Pitch a Tent

A new report from the Barna Group confirmed what I already knew; most young adults do not feel cared for by those around them.  The Barna study was done in partnership with World Vision.  The study was not limited to the United States but rather included 15,000 18–35-year-olds from 25 countries around the globe.  In a fast-paced, internet connect world it was not surprising that 57% of those polled felt connected to people around the world.   When it came to feeling cared for only 33% felt “deeply cared for by those around me.”  Additionally, only 32% responded “they felt someone believes in me.”   The bottom line is there are a lot of lonely people in the world and many of them are under the age of 35%.

The report does have some encouraging things to say about faith communities.  Young adults who belong to a religious tradition seem to have stronger feelings of being in relationship with others.  Has expected those individuals were in the minority, 19% Christian and 23% another faith tradition.  While faith communities may be facilitators of connection for troubled 18–35-year-olds getting young adults in the door can be a challenge.  World-wide, Millennials seem little interested in connecting with a faith community. 

As I reflected on this I had to wonder if the traditional model of congregational ministry is not the problem.  That model has ministries divided up by gender or generational groups.  One popular term is “silo ministry,” with separate silos for people with various interests.  A church might have a men’s club and women’s guild.  There is a ministry to married couples, young adults and senior citizens.  Unfortunately we can become comfortable in our silos and so focused on those relationships that we can become oblivious to the greater needs of the community. 

Perhaps a tent is a better model.  Instead of separate silos (ministry groups) all people gather across generational and interest lines.  As I got to thinking about it, a tent model might be more biblical.  God’s Old Testament people worshiped in a tent.  It was called the Tabernacle.  The Old Testament model also was cross-generational.  The older adult took on the responsibility of communicating the faith to young generations.  Quite frankly, the “silo model” is not even biblical, it is just more comfortable.  Perhaps it meets our needs but not God’s desire for his church.

This Joker is no Joke

I was sitting in our family room over thirty years ago when a disturbing news bulletin flashed across the screen.  Families in a neighborhood not far from us were warned to lockdown and seek a safe place in the center of their house.  It was not a tornado that was eminent, rather a man dressed in camouflage and carrying semi-automatic weapons.  He was walking up and down a residential street firing randomly into homes.  Fortunately no one was seriously injured and police were able to safely arrest him.  He actually lived in the neighborhood and in his mind he was defending “his turf.”  When they searched his home they found poster of Rambo on the wall and a similar movie in his VCR. 

I thought of this incident on Friday when I read of the release of the new Joker movie. As I understand, the plot centers around a man named Arthur who is beaten down in life both mentally and physically.  As a result he descends into madness and takes on the character of “the Joker.”  In this scenario the Joker becomes happier and more well-liked has he embraces horror and anarchism.  In a world where mass shootings are so common, I struggle to find any value in this story.  Frankly, it sounds like the backstory to too many of the disturbed people who have committed actual violent acts.  The sad fact is too many people cannot distinguish fantasy from reality.

I will admit a bias when it comes to Hollywood.  My family will tell you that I don’t go to the movies.  We do own a DVD player but I prefer to watch concert videos or old sitcoms like Cheers, Coach or WKRP.  If I do watch a movie it’s usually a classic that I have seen before like Hoosiers or Coach Carter.  It’s a scary world and I don’t need to go to movie to be reminded of that.  I also disdain any film that promotes violence.  An additional reason for skipping the flics is Hollywood seems to have a genuine disdain for Christianity.  Additionally I feel the film industry promotes much of the moral shift that we have seen in our culture. 

I am not sure what I want you to do with this information.  I certainly am not advocating a boycott.  I guess I would just hope you are more aware of what kind of entertainment you watch and what kind of behavior and lifestyle you encourage.  Today’s children and teens are growing in a challenging environment.  We do not need an entertainment industry that further leads us further down the wrong path.

This Time Mattel is not Swell

“You can tell it’s Mattel, it’s swell.”  I grew up hearing that refrain.  To this day Mattel continues to be one of the leading manufacturers of toys.  Mattel has brought us Hot Wheels and Polly Pockets.  Their brands include American Girl, Thomas and Friends, Masters of the Universe and WWE.   Next to Lego, they are largest toymaker in terms of revenue in the world.  One of Mattel’s most successful toys continues to be Barbie, and, of course, her companion Ken.  Barbie and Ken have stayed relevant because they always change with the times.

Now Barbie and Ken have competition in a new line of dolls from Mattel.  The toy makers just introduced their first gender-neutral doll.  The Creatable World doll will be in stores for this Christmas.  The toy looks like a typical slender seven year old with short hair, but comes with a blonde wig featuring lustrous locks.  The wardrobe includes hoodies, graphic T-shirts, camo pants and sneakers.  Mattel is using the slogan “A doll line designed to keep labels out and invite everyone in.”

We probably should have seen this coming.  Target eliminated gender-specific sections in 2015, meaning dolls and Legos might be found in the same aisle.  Disney Stores banished “boy” and “girl” labels on children’s costumes allowing boys to be Belle and girls to be Captain America.  Mattel did away with boy and girl division last year.  This is another attempt to market to millennial parents.  2017 a Pew Research survey determined that 64% endorsed steering boys toward toy and activities associated with girls.  For comparison, 76% of parents supported steering girls toward boy’s toys and activities. 

There is a lot that troubles me in Mattel’s decision.  It starts with the name of the new toy, Creatable World.  The Bible makes it clear God created us “male” and “female.”  Our sexual identity is not our choice.  Additionally, unlike traditional toys like puzzles and firetrucks, these dolls allow children to project their own individuality and self-image on their doll, in effect choosing their identity.

 

While all these changes make us uncomfortable, it does not change who we are a disciples of Christ.  Our calling is to be Jesus in a contemporary world and to love people for who they are, not who we want them to be. 

Sad News about the News

I have always been a newspaper guy.  Growing up in Detroit we had two newspapers delivered to the house.  The Detroit Free Press came in the morning and The Detroit News in the afternoon.  The sports section was always my favorite because is contained the latest news on my favorite team, The Detroit Tigers.  I would review the box score every morning and then scan the box scores for all the other games.  Joe Falls was my favorite sports writer because he covered the Tigers, always with a touch of humor which helps if you are a Tiger fan. Strange as it sounds, my second favorite was the business section.  I was really into cars and since we lived in the “Motor City” it seemed like there was something new every day.  Fall was especially exciting as all the new models were previewed. 

I got to be part of the newspaper business while in high school.  I was a carrier for the Detroit Free Press.  That meant I was up at 5:00 AM every morning.  I often delivered over 150 papers and I had to have my route completed by 6:45 AM so I could catch the bus to school.  My guess is that half the homes on my route got the paper.  I took my responsibility seriously, because I knew some of my customers wanted their paper before they left for work. 

We have always subscribed to the paper, no matter where we life.  The Southeast Missourian when we lived in Cape Girardeau, the Chicago Tribune and Elgin Courier when we lived in Chicago and now the Dallas Morning News.  In addition to reading the daily paper I stop by the library once a week to read the USA Today and New York Times.  I know I could read some of those online but I like the feel of the paper in my hand and nothing tops reading the sport section with my morning coffee.

Barb and I are some of the few folks in our neighborhood that still get the daily paper.  A recent report for Pew Research confirmed what I already knew; the daily paper is dying.  Less than 10% of Millennials read a local newspaper daily.  Even among those over the age of 65 less than a third pay to subscribe to a local newspaper.  When I shared my concern with my son-in-law, John Seale, he reminded me that historically people got their news socially.  John is very well informed but I know he does not read a newspaper or watch the evening news.  He gets his news online or hears it from  friends.  It got to thinking about biblical times.  The local news was shared around the town well or at the local temple.  Maybe that was just another form of “social media.” 

Lessons Learned from Surgery

I have been on a journey over the last six weeks.  I have been very fortunate that at age seventy-three I had pretty much avoided major surgery.  Arthritis had taken its toll on my right hip and I was in constant pain.  Lip replacement surgery was my only option.  I managed to put the surgery off until after the national youth gathering and a family vacation but after a summer of activity, I was ready.   The experience has taught me some lessons.

Preparation:  I had to attend a class to prepare me for surgery.  I cannot stress enough how helpful it was.  While nothing could have fully equipped me for the challenge of the first few days, I understood what was happening and why.  It also helped to know what I would need to function once I was home.  We had all the items lined up, including the walker, shower chair and my trusty “grabber.”  I even have special laces so I could put on my shoes without tying them.

Patience: It takes time to heal and regain your mobility.  I also learned to be patient with other people.  The hospital staff and physical therapist were helpful but they are also busy people.  I learned to wait and appreciate them when I had them.  I am starting to function again but still am only at about 80%. I just need to be patient and follow my routine.

Discipline: Some of the therapy seemed senseless, while others was challenging and caused discomfort.  There was a reason for each exercise.  I had to follow the discipline of doing each exercise at least twice a day.  I also had to track my steps and force myself to walk each day. 

Family and Friends: I could not have done this without the support of those around me.  Our kids and grand kids all pitched in to get the house set up for when I got home.  Barb was a constant companion, meeting even my most basic needs.  She was a continual encourager.  My friend Dave pitched in by not only coming by to visit but getting me to my follow-up with the doctor.  Another friend, Gary, stopped by on a weekly basis to not only chat but do a Bible study with me. 

God’s presence: I was constantly aware of God’s love and presence.  Probably my most difficult time was at night.  The surgery required that I sleep on my back.  That is not normal for me.  In addition, my back hurt and the medication I was on cause me to hallucinate.  My sleep was constantly interrupted.  In the midst of that I could hear God’s voice.  Night after night he would place the right songs or scripture verses in my head to comfort and reassure me.

A Pronounced Change

I am a Thomas. I am the son of a Thomas, who was the son of a Thomas. It caused a dilemma when our first son was born.  Growing up I was known as Tommy.  I was determined my son would not go through his grade school years bearing that name.  The solution: both of our sons have Thomas as their middle name.  We also gave our children names that intentionally could not be shortened.  Katie is Katie, not Kathryn.  I guess there are some folks who call our oldest son Pete, but no one in the family would think of that.  I try to be respectful of other people’s names.  I want to make sure it is pronounced correctly.  I my case, there is another reason.  Thomas is my “Jesus” name.  It was the name given me at Baptism.  It is what Jesus will call me when we finally meet face to face.

I know there are times people use a pronoun in referencing me.  He (Tom) did this or I heard him (Tom) say that.  I did spend a couple of years teaching grammar, so I know that in certain instances it is okay to use a pronoun.  There are gender appropriate pronouns, “he” and “She” as an example.  There also gender-neutral pronouns like “they” and “them.”  Traditionally gender-neutral pronouns were plural, referencing more than one individual.

 

Now I understand there is a change in the wind.  According to a new Pew Research survey, about one-in-five (18%) U.S. adults know someone who uses gender-neutral pronoun.  Granted, over four in ten (42%) do not know someone and another 39% are clueless, having heard nothing at all about gender neutral pronouns.  Not surprisingly, the use of gender-neutral pronouns is most common among young adults age 18-29.  Seventy-three percent (73%) of young adults have heard “a lot” (36%) or “a little” (37%) about people using gender-neutral pronouns.  The awareness of gender-neutral pronouns greatly diminishes by age with only a little more than one in ten (11%) hearing “a lot” and 35% a little about gender-neutral pronouns. 

I guess I could have anticipated this change.  Our moral compass has gradually changed directions over the last two decades.  In the minds of some the lines between male and female have become blurred.  Still, it does not change my perspective as a Christian.  God is still the creator and the one who sustains of all things.  He created us male and female.  He is the one who wants to call us by our name.  The Trinity might be three distinct persons but He is still King of Kings and Lord of Lords. 

Pro Life and Pro Jesus

I have always been Pro-Life.  I was in my early years in youth ministry in 1973 when Roe vs. Wade made abortions legal, forever changing our cultural landscape.  Even back then I tried to stay current in terms of helping teens grapple with the issues to the day.  The abortion issue was no different.  We had a Sunday morning youth Bible class that was taught by a young couple.  We also had a Monday night youth forum.  On that evening I would lead a discussion on a current topic.  Our discussion on the abortion issue surprised me.  We were a very conservative church that reflected the middle class suburb where we were located. I knew which side of the issue most the members, including the parents, were on.  But there was a very vocal minority within the group.  Those teens could think of a variety of scenarios where abortion might be a good choice, if not the only option. 

I reflected on those nights of heated discussion as I read the latest data on the issue of abortion published by Pew Research.  To put it bluntly; we are a divided nation.  Unfortunately, those of us who are Pro-Life are in a dwindling minority.  Support to keep abortion legal in all/most cases is at an all-time high 61%.  When Pew Research first started tracking public opinion on the issue in 1995 a similar 60% favored legal abortion.  Sometime around 2007-2008 public opinion was split almost 50%/50%.  Since then the support to keep abortion legal has grown.  When it comes to “completely overturning Roe vs. Wade” opposition has never been higher.  Seventy percent (70%) of Americans say “No do not overturn,” up from 60% in 1992.  If you think that support to keep abortions legal is driven by Millennials who tend to take a more moderate stance on oral issues, you might be surprised.   Fifty-five percent (55%) of older adults (65+) favor keeping abortion legal. 

I can report that our youth group survived the abortion debate in the 70’s.  There were times when the discussion got heated, as many kids mirrored the opinion of their parents.  I usually tried to listen and make sure both sides heard each other.  That continued to be my approach as I counseled teens both as a youth leader and school counselor.  I still maintain that is the best course when we encounter those who disagree with us on all social or moral issues.  I listen, and when I do “speak the truth” I make sure it is done with love.  I want people to see Jesus in me. 

“God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.”  (John 3:17 ESV)

Smartphones and Our Culture

Smartphones have become a part of our culture.  No generation has been impacted more than Gen Z’s, those born since 1995.  That year is considered a generational marker since that is when the internet became available to everyone.  Gen Z’s are also the first generation to have grown up with the smartphone.  The first i-phone was introduced in 2007, right about the time when Gen Z the first Gen Z’s were in middle school. While it is doubtful every middle school student had a smartphone back then, like they do today, you get the picture.  Today’s teens and young adults have pretty much grown up with a cell phone in their hand.

Pew Research recently released the latest data on smartphone and today’s teens. It is estimated that 95% of high school teens have a personal cellphone.  The survey identified the way those 13-17 year olds use their phones.  A vast majority of cellphone-using teens say their phone is just a way to pass time, with 90% saying they use the phone that way.  A similar large percentage (84%) report they use their phones to connect with other people or to learn new things (83%).  It is not all positive, however.

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Cell phone use is often a “bone of contention” when it comes to teens and the adults in their lives.  There is an ongoing tension when it comes to cell phone use.  Some parents have made their homes cell phone-free zones, while others restrict their usage to certain times; no phones allowed at meal time or during the evening study time.  It is not uncommon for a teen to sleep with their phone next to them, and for them to check their phones during the night. 

As I thought about this I came to the realization that this tension is really nothing new.  During my high school years our home had one telephone line.  When we moved to a new house prior to my junior year my parents decided I needed my own bedroom equipped with an extension phone.  I suspect they probably sometimes regretted that, considering the tension it created: “How can you spend all day at school with them and then come home and talk for hours at night?” I recall my mother saying. 

There was another disturbing trend that came out of the Pew Research study.  Many teens (43%) admit to using their cellphone to avoid social contact.  While a smartphone is a great way to connect with people, it is also a way to avoid “face to face” interaction.  Avoiding social interaction was much more common among girls (54%), than boys (31%).  A sad reality is that while many teenage girls want to accumulate a long list of friends on social media they often avoid the intimate relationships that can truly be long-term and life-changing.

Reflections on El Paso

It was almost ten years ago that I came back from a mission trip with a challenge that God had put on my heart.  I had spent five days in the town of Booneville, Arkansas.  One of the local pastors asked us to spend time walking the streets of that economically challenged community praying for the town and its people.  I came back determined to prayer-walk our entire city of 25,000.  It took me about eight months but I accomplished my goal.  I met some interesting people and came away captivated by the diversity of Farmers Branch, Texas.  There is one impression that remains with me to this day.

Some nights I would walk blocks past manicured lawns and fine homes.  On those evenings the only sounds were an occasional mower or the whirring of a sprinkler head.  Other evenings I passed homes where neighbors were on the porches or standing in their driveways.  On those evenings I often struggled to walk a few blocks before the sun started to set.  People were curious.  They wanted to engage in conversation.  My only regret was my Spanish was limited to a few words.  Most of the time, I had to rely on someone to be my translator.  My conclusion: Anglos are content spending their evening inside the comfort of their homes, while Hispanics enjoy a sense of community.  In the Hispanic neighborhoods, families were often eating outside, sharing food and fellowship with their neighbors.  Neighbors were helping each other with projects, like putting new brakes on a truck or making repairs on their homes. 

I thought of my experience last week as I watched the residents of El Paso, Texas mourn together after the tragic events in their town.  My only time in El Paso was spent in the airport making a connection on Southwest Airlines.  I have spent extended time in other border towns.  I have been on mission trips to McAllen, Brownsville and Del Rio.  On my trips into interior Mexico our passage point was always Laredo, Texas.  The impression stays with me.  There is a real sense of community in each of those cities.  People want to engage in conversation.  They want to extend hospitality and are ready to help in any way possible.  They also know how to cook and their entire celebrations center around food and friends.  They also watch out for and protect each other.  If there is crime, it usually comes from outside the neighborhood. 

In the most recent case, the people of El Paso also know how to grieve together.  The population of El Paso might surpass 650,000 but in actuality it is a community of neighborhoods.  People work and worship together.  They support and watch out for each other.  While I sensed a lot of grief, I did not hear a lot of anger.  I heard little discussion about gun control, rather the focus was on healing and sending a message that “we will get through this together.” 

“In this world, you will have trouble. 

But take heart, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

While politicians and lobbyist argue about gun control and security from domestic violence, I believe God has called us to be people of hope in a broken and hurting world.

Family

I have experienced a lot of quality family time over the last two weeks. Since all our kids and grand-kids live in the DFW area, people assume we see each other regularly.  The reality of having so many of us involved in ministry means we have busy lives.  The occasions when we are all together in the same spot for an extended period of time is rare.  This summer has been special because Barb and I celebrated fifty years of marriage.  In June we had an extended family reunion to celebrate.

As part of the celebration, two weeks ago we were all together on Galveston Island for five days.  We created a lot of happy memories.  As the patriarch, I was content sitting in a chair watching the young folks frolic in the gulf surf.   Our family loves to play games.   Pinochle is part the Couser family tradition.   I always travel with a deck of pinochle cards in my suitcase.  Galveston was no exception.  While I did find much success at the card table, I achieve my first victory in the board game Ticket to Ride.  A more recent family past-time is playing Settlers of Cattan.  While I enjoy the game, I have yet to figure out the strategy on that game.  Our time sharing two condos on Galveston Island was a memorable in a positive way.

My journey since has been less pleasurable.  A week ago today I had hip replacement surgery.  Again, family was part of the journey.  Mark sat with Barb while I was in surgery and Katie was waiting when I arrived in my room after surgery.  Peter called and prayed with me the morning before I went into the operating room.  He stayed in regular contact throughout my hospital stay.  The whole gang was part of the transition home.  Katie picked me up from the hospital and Peter and Mark, along with two of Peter and Amy’s sons, moved a bed from upstairs into the family room.  Mark spent the first night home sleeping on the couch next to me.  It is probably appropriate that my first extended time sitting up was at our dining room table Sunday afternoon playing Ticket to Ride.

My rehab is proving more difficult than I anticipated but my family keeps encouraging me.  All three of our kids, and two of our grandsons have been able to assist me at different times.  Not a day goes when I do not hear a word of encouragement from each of them.  It is not limited to immediate family.  Katie’s in-laws have been there as well.  Kim Seale visited me in the hospital and prayed with me.  Laura Seale sat with me Sunday morning so Barb could play the organ at Prince of Peace. 

We need to cherish the family relationships that we have.  Life within a family can get messy at times but we need each other.  That includes our church family as well.  God did not create us to live our lives on an island.  Relationships are a way to share God’s gifts of love, mercy, compassion and grace.

Hey: I am Cusper

I recently found out that I am a “Cusper.”  I guess I should be somewhat relived that my generation at least has an identity.   In case you are puzzled, Custers are those born on the “cusp” of a generation.  I was born in 1946 and always was labeled as a Baby Boomer but in reality I do not fit the mold.  While most Baby Boomers want to retire and move to Sun City, or some similar “senior adult” community, I have no desire to spend the rest of the life play cards and hanging with other “old” people.  I definitely do not see myself as a member of the “Silent Generation.”  Other than hearing World War II from my Uncle Don, a WW II Veteran, I have no experience with that conflict.  Now I have a hanger on which I can place my generational cap.  I am a “Cusper.”

Okay, I am not a Cusper in the current context.  That is a term that seems to be reserved for those born on the cusp of the Millennial and Gen Z generations.  Loosely, they are those born during the last decade of the 20^th Century.  As a group, they are less self-absorbed and more focused than Millennials but not as driven to change the world as Gen Z’s. They also have vague memories of 9/11 and can recall life before hand-held mobile devices.  Like many Gen Z’s, Cuspers tend to be driven by social and environmental issues.  They desire to affiliate with organizations that are engaged with the world and the community.  They want to make a difference in the world.  Ministries to the homeless or economically challenged are important to them.  They will support efforts to feed starving children whether it is in Africa or inner city America.  They also are environmentally conscious.

It is probably best to remember that all Generational labels are arbitrary.  Not every person born within a period of time is going to be exactly like every other person their age.  God has created us each as a unique individual.  That uniqueness is what makes the world an interesting place but it can also frustrate those who desire to market a product or design a ministry to reach them.  In the case of those born too late to be a “true” Millennial and too old to a genuine member of Generation Z, they now have a generational identity. 

That does not make it easier to minister to the current Cuspers.  Part of that is their transient lifestyle.  Many of them are still in college, meaning they drift in and out of our lives.  Even if they are starting a career, they are probably still struggling to establish an adult identity.  All of which serves as a reminder that we need to not focus on ministering to a generation and more on reaching individuals one on one.