Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rights of Passage

Tomorrow is the first day of April. We're are heading into an exciting season for many families. I am referring to the rights of passage that go with this time of year, particularly graduations. Such events can provide parents with a variety of contrasting emotions. This year, I can again identify. Our daughter, Katie, is completing her masters program and graduating from Dallas Baptist University.

It's important for all of us to keep things in perspective. Each right of passage is another step and another opportunity. It's easy to get caught up in the past. Rights of passage also mean change. Change always brings stress with it. Change also means growth and that is where the focus needs to be. I know from experience that there is no great joy than watching your kids grow up and be successful on their own.

When it comes to rights of passage the focus needs to be on them, and not on us. Hopefully they have plans and dreams. In that case they are excited. Their focus is on what is ahead. We need to do the same. It is our responsibility to listen and then support them in reaching for their goals. Every individual deserves the right to pursue their own dream. If their future is cloudy, we need to offer our support in helping them clarify their plans.

Secondly, we need to savor the moment. Rights of passage tend to be "Kodak Moments." We want to freeze the picture and just enjoy the experience. Relax and enjoy these days for what they are.

Lastly, continue to pray for your kids. Pray passionately that God will bless their dreams and visions. Pray that they will have the opportunity to use the special gifts God has given them. Pray for their safety as well but pray for their faith development as well. If they continue to walk with the Lord, God will bless them.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

It's Still About Relationships

I am headed to a meeting with the DFW area DCE's today. I easily the oldest member of the group. It's kinda fun being the elder statesman. Youth ministry has changed a lot since I started almost forty years ago. We used 16 mm projectors instead of DVD players. No, I don't miss having to thread the film. My first office computer was when I started at Holy Cross in Dallas twenty years ago. I used it for word processing, no hard drive just room for two floppy disks. Ministry was very different even then. There was no texting or Facebook. I never dreamed you would be able to set up a chat room and talk with kids on line. I am still amazed that I carry around a cell phone in my pocket. That was something only for "super heroes."

Yes, youth ministry has changed but two things have not. Being a teenager is still a challenge, perhaps now more that ever. It's also still about establishing a relationship with kids. It is only through a relationship that you have any hope of impacting the lives of kids. The teen years are a criticial time in faith development. Teens need adults who can be mentors and role models. Love must be unconditional. Being able to listen and offer guidance is key

Not providing spiritual roots is one mistake that parents make in raising their kids. Even church-going parents can fall short when it comes to spiritual development. The problem comes when we view religious education the same way we do algebra and history. Teach the material, take a test and get a passing grade. Spiritual development is ongoing. It's also relational, it's about our relationship with Jesus Christ. That is better caught than taught. That's where providing a loving, caring environment is vital. Youth ministry takes a team of adults who not only care for kids and interact with them. They also must share our values and faith perspective.

It's easy to get caught up in looking at the size of the youth group or the dynamic reputation of the youth leader. Having the most modern, kid-friendly facilities is not going to create an environment where kids are nurtured in their faith. That only happens through relationships. Get to know the youth ministry staff at your church, not just the professional staff but the voluneteers as well. They are important people in the life of your teenager.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Spring Break

"It's spring break, so I am sure attendance will be down this morning," my wife commented on our way to church yesterday. I dropped her off at our church in Colleyville and headed to Fort Worth where I was scheduled to speak to an adult Bible class. "I am sure our attendance will be off this morning," my friend remarked when he greeted me at his church. "It is spring break," he noted.

In both cases they were right. But then, I remember how I looked forward to spring break when I was working at Lutheran High of Dallas. The kids looked forward to it too. It was difficult to get them to focus on the days prior to. Many of them would be off to Colorado to ski or Florida to bask in the sun. Trips to Europe were also popular. I am ok with taking a spring break. God rested on the 7th day, remember. Although I don't think he flew to Cancun to relax.

I would hope that Spring break is a time of family renewal. The tendency for many adults is one of two extremes: to either refuel the personal tank by doing nothing or to fill the time with endless activities and come home needing rest.

I would hope the time away allows for a more relaxed atmosphere where the walls come down, allowing open and honest communication. Try to schedule some time for that. Meals are a good time, especially if you are eating out because there is no responsibility to prepare the meal and serve it. Look for other opportunities as well, like when you're waiting in the line at Disney World, or traveling in the car.

Make worship a part of your vacation as well. It's a great time to let the kids lead. Allow them to plan the family devotions, perhaps using Scripture verses that are important to them. It gives them the opportunity to talk about what they like and don't like about their normal worship experience and for you to focus on what true worship is.

Spring breaks are great, just don't take a break from God.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

America Less Christian

A survey released yesterday declares that America is less Christian than it was twenty years ago. Seventy-five percent of Americans now call themselves Christian, as opposed to eighty-six percent in 1990. The data was compiled as part of the American Religous Identification Survey from Trinity College in Connecticut. Christian is not losing influence to other faiths, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon etc. Rather, religion overall is on the decline. Denominations are taking a major hit, with all mainline groups showing a loss in membership.

William Donohue, president of the Catholic League, has an interesting comment. "The three most dreaded words are thou shalt not." People are not athiests, he continued. "They just don't want to be told what to do with their lives."

Comments from two young women that I heard interviewed reinforced Mr. Donohue's statement. One stated, "I don't see anything in religion that benefits me."

I am extremely troubled but not surprised by this trend. In our self absorbed, society that looks for instant gratification, the intangible elements of hope and security beyond this world are a hard sell.

I can tesify that it does make a difference, however. I spend eight to ten hours each week working as a hospital chaplain. I service long-term acute care facilities, meaning many of the people I see are rough shape. Some are in their last days. There is a marked difference between those who are people of faith face that time, as opposed to those outside the faith. Each time I am called into one of those situations I remark the same thing, "Where would I be without Jesus?"

I still maintain the greatest testimony a Christian can give is how they react in time of crisis. Which leads me to my parenting point. We are in a crisis at this time. The current economic situation in our country is scary, and I don't think it is going to end soon. The strongest witness you can give to others, including your own kids, is to face the future with confidence. It's a time to share how our faith is more important than the physical things of this world. All the stuff of this world will pass away but our relationship with Jesus Christ goes beyond this world.

If we believe that, we need to live that. In the process I think we will be making a statement and passing on the heritage of faith to the next generation.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Reflections on the 63rd Anniversary of My Natal Day

Today is my birthday. No, I don't feel like sixty-three. Question of the day is, How did I get here so quickly.

God has a way of helping me keep things in perspective. My devotions this morning had me in 2 Corinthians 4, that's the Jars of Clay chapter. The verse I decided to focus on was verse 16.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though we outwardly are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV)

I must admit that when I am with other people my age it's easy to feel like I am on the set of Cocoon. How quickly we can focus on our aches and pains. Like many others my age I have a laundry list of health concerns: blood sugar, blood pressure, cholestrol, prostate, acid reflex, etc. I never thought I would reach the point where I would need one of those little pill boxes to keep everything straight. I am there.

Actually, I am not in bad shape for the shape I am in. I walk two miles most days. I watch my diet and am trying, seriously this time, to lose twenty pounds. I have become very good at learning to relax.

I have learned to appreciate those relationship that really matter. I am looking forward to having our family, kids and grandkids, together tomorrow to celebrate. In our changing world, those are the things that really matter.

The one aspect of my life that seems to be on the up-swing is my relationship with God. I still don't understand God's love and grace but I have learned to lavish myself in it. How Great is Our God!!! That's the one thing that matters now and in eternity.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My Little Girl is Twenty-five

Our daughter turns twenty-five today. She's living under our roof right now so, last night before I retired I requested that she not get me up at 3:00 AM like she did twenty-five years ago.

I am not sure there is any significance in her turning twenty-five. She's about to finish graduate school and set out on a career as a worship leader. She is a gifted singer/songwriter and plays multiple instruments. Yes, I am proud of her but then I am proud of her two older brothers as well.

My message to parents today is, it's worth it. There is no greater joy than watching your kids grow up. If we are there to help them cast a vision for themselves and then support them in that effort, they will probably turn out ok. The important thing is that we give them the foundation to build that life on. That comes through imparting values and providing them with spiritual roots.

Secondly, enjoy this time. Our kids grow up way too fast.

Happy Birthday, Katie. Thanks for the memories and God's blessings on the future.