Paying for What Should Come Naturally

A commercial that started playing on one of the radio stations I listen to last week caught my attention. It is for a service that parents can use to monitor their teens social networks activity. The radio spot features a mom who found out her son was depressed and considering taking his own life via the service. As the commercial begins an announcer informs the listener that it is based on a real life experience. My immediate response was that while this is a great service, why would a parent who is doing their job need it?

I could have provided them with plenty of real life experiences. During my years of working with teens I often found myself sitting down with parents to discuss information I had obtained about their teen. Sometimes it involved thoughts of suicide, other times it was evidence of their involvement in drugs or alcohol. Most of the time their reaction fell into one of two groups: Shock - "They are what?", or Denial - "No way, not my child. Both responses led me to believe they probably were clueless.

Here is a word of advice: As the parent of a contemporary teen nothing should surprise or shock you. Most teens, even good kids, will make some poor choices along the line. Even if they make good choices, they will be exposed to other kids who don't. As a result, we need to constantly monitor their behavior and be involved in their lives. That means having regular one-on-one time with them, and taking our turn in hosting them and their friends in our home. It also means monitoring their social network activity. Become part of their Facebook community and on a regular basis check their cell phone. Watch for those changes in behavior that indicate something is up.

The other step parents should be taking is to surround their teens with a support system of significant adults. Those individuals should share your value system. Coaches, church youth counselors and other adults who work with your teens all can provide another set of eyes and ears. Get to know them and make them aware that you appreciate them and value their concern for your child. In doing so, you are initiating a relationship that allows them to approach you should a concern arise.

Again, why waste money on something you should naturally be doing yourself.