How Parents can Keep Their Teens Connected with the Church

David Kinnaman is president of the Barna Group and also the author of a new book, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving the Church and Rethinking Church. The books is the culmination of a five-year project that included eight national studies, as well as interviews with teens, young adults, parents and church professionals.

The author makes it clear that their is no one single reason for young people leaving the church. Rather,there are six significant themes indicating why three out of five (59%) of young Christians are choosing to disconnect with the church. For this entry in my blog I would like to focus on two of those themes.

Churches seem overprotective. Today's teens and young adults have an unprecedented access of ideas and worldviews. Their desire is to connect with the world they live in. They get turned off when the church gets defensive or re-acts out of fear. Almost one quarter (23%) of teens and young adults said, "Christians demonize everything outside the church." Other perceptions were that the church ignores the real world and that the church is too concerned that movies, music and video games are harmful.

Teens' and young adult's experience of Christianity is shallow. Many young people leave the church because they feel something is lacking in their experience. They sense a lack of passion among adult believers. One third (31%) said, "church is boring." Others felt the church was not relevant to them. A quarter (24%) stated, "the Bible is not taught clearly or often enough,"

These trends are not totally new. In her 2004 book, Practicing Passion, Kenda Creasy Dean wrote about teens quests for a more passionate church.

Now the questions must be: What can parents do to address the issues.. No Christian parent wants their child to abandon their faith. Let me make a couple of suggestions:

We can't ignore or become defensive about contemporary issues. We also must hold our church accountable for addressing the issues as well. Nothing is accomplished when all we tell teens is that, ".... is wrong." We need to give them the biblical resources so that they can grapple with the issues and draw their own conclusions. This is where our church, especially the youth ministry staff, become a vital resource.

We must live out our faith passionately. If our teens see the church as lacking passion, the change must begin with us. We must be into God's Word on a daily basis and practice a walk of Christian discipleship. When we live the faith, we are providing our kids with the best example possible.
Lastly, when we see enthusiasm within the church we need to "fan the flame," rather than "quench the fire."