Who is Tommy Dorfman and Why we Need to Care About Her?

 I was drawn to an article in the most recent Time Magazine.  Okay, I will admit I drawn to the picture of what I thought was an alluring female.  After delving into the article, I was surprised to find out that it was Tommy Dorfman.   Tommy Dorfman is an actor who rose to fame playing a young man named Ryan Shaver on a Netflix show.  In her most recent roles Tommy Dorfman is being cast as a female.  You see, Tommy Dorfman has transitioned from a male to a female.  In the process, he/she has become a role model for LGTBQ youth in the United States.

While I find Tommy Dorfman’s transition troubling on multiple levels, I can reflect back on my own youth and my struggles with identity.  While I do not recall ever having questioned my identity as a male, I also realize I grew up in a different time when such ideas were not only tabu, but also not even on the cultural radar.  It is indeed a more challenging and difficult time to be a young person.  In many ways, the “you can be anything you want to be” dream has taken on a whole new meaning.

During my years in ministry, I had contact with countless teens and young adults who were struggling with their identity.  One of the great joys during my years as a school counselor was to watch students who were totally lost as middle schoolers, find their niche by the time they became seniors.  I found even greater pleasure when those students would return as successful alumni. 

I also counseled young people who were struggling with their identity as a person.  Yes, I did spend time discussing sexual identity with more than one student.  That was often a difficult conversation because as a faith-based school, the Gay/Lesbian issue was not supposed to be on the agenda. Of course, that was fourteen years ago and I suspect it is much different today. 

I know from Scripture that we are all, through the power of the Holy Spirit, being transformed into the people God wants us to be.  I know from personal experience, that God calls us to come along side those who are struggling with their identity.  This becomes a challenge for me today on multiple levels.  I know from experience that when I get involved with other people, it can get messy.  I might be drawn into situations or hear opinions that make me uncomfortable.  I also might encounter people who are heading down a path I see as running contrary to God’s desires for His people.

It is a challenge, but I sincerely believe it is one we must encounter. For too long the church, and church people, have become known more for “what we are against” than “what we are for.”  We have become quick to judge and slow to listen.  I truly believe we need to listen to people who like Tommy Dorfman are struggling with their sexual identity.  His behavior might be offensive to God, but then so is mine sometimes… and God loves me, just as He loves Tommy Dorfman just the same.