Sixteen year old Kirstin Rausch of Southlake, Texas made the news last week. Actually she made it twice. The first time was in a paid newspaper ad placed by her parents, announcing thirty hours of free babysitting. The second time was the rest of the story. It seems the Kirstin had violated the family curfew. Her parents response was to require her to do thirty hours of community service.
Kirstin is not your typical delinquent. To begin with she's a member of her school's National Honor Society. Her school, by the way, is Southlake Carroll High School which is annually rated one of the top schools in the State of Texas, if not in the whole country. Friends and neighbors describe her as smart, friendly and mature for her age. Kirstin's offense did not involve being out on the street after hours. Rather, she had friends over after her parents had gone to bed. There was no mention of alcohol or drugs, rather it appears this was kids celebrating the rights of summer.
Rather than grounding her, or punish her in some other way, Kirstin's parents required her to do community service. If there was one troubling aspect, it's that babysitting was a last resort. The community organizations the Rauschs contacted could not come up with a project for a teenager who had violated curfew. As a result, she now is spending her free time watching neighborhood kids for free.
I have never understood why parents using grounding as punishment. My question is: who is being punished here? Who wants to be stuck in the house with a irritable teenager. I have always encouraged parents to discipline their children, rather than punish them. Punishment might temporarily stop a behavior but disciplines could produce lasting results. Discipline also requires a relationship between parent and child. It turns a bad decision into a learning experience, which is exactly what I think happened with Kirsten.
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