Raising Our Kids to Let Them Go

Barb and I had the honor of attending a farewell celebration for our son, Mark, on Sunday. Mark has concluded his ministry with LINC North Texas. For the last seven years he has been an urban missionary. He has worked out of New Hope Community Church in East Dallas. I think even Mark was surprised at the number of community people who attended. A couple of the kids who were part of the after school program spoke of how Mark had impacted their lives. Mark has accepted a new position as a church planter with Waters Edge Lutheran Church in Frisco. He and our other son, Peter, will both be ordained in January, 2011.

It's easy to be proud of all three of our kids. Our daughter, Katie, is also in full-time ministry as a worship director, but both my wife and I acknowledge that it is more a gift from God than anything we have done. One thing we agree on is that we've raised our kids to let them go. We've sent all three of them off to college and given them the opportunity to pursue their dreams.

In the case of Mark we can point to two specific turning points in his life. In both it involved putting him in God's hands. Mark wanted to study in Europe in the second semester of his sophmore year. He was scheduled to leave in January, 2002, just months after 9/11. We took a deep breath and let him go. Many prayers of thanks were lifted up when he was finally back on US soil. Those four months changed Mark. It was during that time that he learned to communicate with, and appreciate, different culture. It was great preparation for urban ministry. The second leap-of-faith was supporting his decision to move in the building at New Hope. There was no apartment. He moved a bed into the church library, but in relocating in that community he proved his commitment to the people. Yes, it was scary. In those days crime was rampant in that area of east Dallas. There were break-ins and there was vandalism, but Mark stayed for a year. By that time he had established his root in that community. He built a ministry on those relationships.

My message to all parents is to love your kids while you have them, but ultimately you have to raise them to let them go. That means giving them the freedom to try and to fail. It also requires placing them in God's hands.