Last week, One of my youth ministry peers was looking for feedback on a link found on the Lutheran Education Association - Parish Educator Network (PEN) newsletter. The question posed by my peer was, do parent still have an influence? I don't usually respond to such posts, but when four hours past without a response, I felt I needed to respond. Of course parents have an influence. In fact, research continues to indicate that parents exhibit more influence than anyone else.
The article, authored by Lylah Alphonse, was subtitled: Stop Trying so Hard. Her message to parents, "Relax, you probably don't have as much influence as you think." She further stated that any influence is only temporary. How kids turn out is more determined by who they are, as opposed to the environment they are raised in. It's really just a continuation of the on-going "nature vs. nurture" debate.
Ms. Alphonse opinion flies in the face of any research I have ever seen. Need proof? Have you seen the Parents: The Anti Drug campaign? When it comes to substance abuse or sexuality, parents play a very important role.
Unfortunately, we cannot assume the influence a parent plays is always positive. Research by Search Institute, www.search-institute.org, indicates that most (68%)teens feel support from their parents, but a much smaller percentage (28%) report being satisfied with the level of communication they have with their parents.
There is some good news and some bad news here. Yes, parents make a difference, but we cannot assume the impact is always positive. If communications are poor, or the parents are making harmful choices themselves, the influence could be negative. If the parent is making poor choices when it comes to tobacco and alcohol use, are they giving their teenagers permission to do the same?
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