Parents Behaving Badly

I am never surprised when teenagers make poor choices.  It's a reality because they don't have the life experiences and decision making skills that most adults do.  It's also the way they are wired.  Teens are not equipped to process their impulses and emotions.  As a result they make poor decisions from time to time.  What is shocking is when parents allow themselves to be co-conspirators.

That came to mind yesterday when the news came out that a Colleyville, Texas mom had been arrested on a charge of criminal mischief.  This was not your usual case of toilet papering a home; Although there is surveillance video of the mom and middle-school kids purchasing 100 rolls of toilet paper from the local Walmart.  Raw chicken was left in the mailbox, mustard and peanut butter was used to print graffiti on the driveway, and sanitary napkins were hung along the driveway and placed in windows (yes the victim was hosting a sleepover for their daughter and friends).  As a final touch, additional slurs were written on the house.  You can argue that the estimate of $6,000 in damages seems a little over-inflated.  The eight kids involved, three boys and five girl, along with commando-mom, could probably have cleaned up the mess in two hours.

Teenage pranks happen all the time.  I have been victim to a toilet in the front yard, soon followed by a queen-size mattress.  I just accepted it as part of making a career working with teenagers.  In my case, a single call to a parent put a stop to it.  An anonymous letter of apology was also left on my desk - I did know the source and we shared a laugh years later. 

In the most recent case, what strikes me the most is that mom not only facilitated the vandalism, but took an active part; remember, someone had to provide the transportation since middle school students can't drive.  I am sure that her excuse is she just wanted to have some fun with her child and their friends.  That's all well and good, but when it comes to pranks and mischief, teens are perfectly capable to handling that themselves.   They also need to be held accountable when they step over the line.  In this case the line was not only crossed but destroyed.  If there was vandalism, mom, and not the kids, should be held accountable.

If you want a good relationship with your teenagers: Attend their concerts and sporting event.  Take them out to dinner and have some real conversation.  Go on vacation together.  At all times, however, be the adult role model they so much need and desire.