Caffeine and Kids

I recently met a friend at a local Starbucks on a late afternoon.   Two young men were ahead of me as I headed to the store.  One held the door for me and even greeted me with a friendly smile.  In this case they were "really young" men.  My guess is that they were middle school age.  They were definitely the youngest Starbucks patrons I had met, at least without a parent or guardian.  While I was ahead of them in line, I did linger long enough to see what two boys their age would order.  One had a regular iced coffee and the other an Iced Caramel Macchiato. 

While I will acknowledge we live in a world where Starbucks has passed McDonalds as the top restaurant chain, I have to wonder what we have come to when grade school kids are kicking back coffee after school.  I did not start drinking coffee until I was in college.  It seemed like the adult thing to do; again I stress the word "adult."  The initial article for this issue deals with sleep deprivation among teenagers. One unfortunate result is that many teens rely on caffeine to help them function.  It is not just coffee, but often high powered energy drinks and even carbonated beverages like Mountain Dew. 

If we sense the possibility of this is a detrimental behavior, I think the best thing to do is have a healthy conversation with them.  We need to be aware that one of their responses might be that they are only modeling what they see in us.  While that is a valid point, the difference is adults are not still growing and developing.  Sleep deprivation and too much caffeine can be harmful to a teen.

Reflections of MLK Day

Tomorrow is Martin Luther King Day. Having lived through the turbulent sixties, I marvel at how things have changed. I recall sitting in a junior high classroom and hearing my teacher talk in an angry tone about how disgusted she was at seeing a "nice young white man" give up his seat on a bus to a "colored woman." I have visited the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit where the bus that Rosa Parks took her historical stance on is displayed.   I recall reaching the back of that bus where I found a mom explaining the significance of the event to her two grade school age children. This time it was a White family in the back of the bus.

I once almost had a close encounter with Dr. King. I was in 8th grade and a member of our church basketball team. Our games were played on Saturday morning in the gym at Grosse Pointe High School. Grosse Pointe was, and still is, a very affluent suburb of Detroit. In those days it was highly segregated. Dr. King was scheduled to speak at the school that afternoon. His appearance was high controversial. There was a strong police presence as we left after our 11:00 AM game, some angry people stood behind barricades.  They were holding signs that said some pretty ugly things.  It was scary.

I was home in Detroit on spring break from college on that night in 1968 when Dr. King was shot. I was at church. I had been recruited to sing with the church choir for Easter. A member of the bass section was the one who broke the news. "The King is dead," he said with a smile. There was a real sense of satisfaction in his voice.   I knew differently.  My dad had taught me that.  He loved all people, regardless of race.   It was that attitude that allowed my parents to live in the same neighborhood on the Detroit’s eastside for over sixty years, until their health failed in 2004. 

Today we live in a house where my neighbors are Hispanic, Indian, Vietnamese and Cambodian. I recently remarked, "all we need is a Black Family to move in to make things complete."

Thank Dr. King for being the catalyst for change.

My New Year’s Wish List

I have always enjoyed the music of Christmas.  In my mind Chris Rice’s Welcome to Our World captures the impact of the Savior’s birth in a most meaningful way.  I still marvel at the way Michael W. Smith can take traditional carols and enhance them in a contemporary format.  For Barb and I, one of our memorable evenings was hearing Michael W. Smith and the Dallas Symphony in a Christmas concert a few years back (made even more special since we were in the front row). 

During the most recent holiday season I found myself drawn to song I had previously viewed as a little "simplistic.”  The song, Grown-Up Christmas List, was first made popular by Amy Grant.  The chorus expresses a desire to see some things that on the surface might seem idealistic; “a world where wars would never start and everyone would have a friend.”  We might be moved to ask, where is the message of the Christ Child in the lyric?  This year as I listen I I found myself thinking but isn’t that what Jesus desires from his followers; a world where grace and peace over-rule conflict and war. 

Now I would like to offer my “grown-up” New Year’s list.  They are dreams that I have for the New Year.  Granted, like the words of the song they might seem a little idealistic but they are things I truly believe Jesus desires from his disciples. So, here are the dreams that I have for faith communities in 2017.

No Prejudice: We need to seek to know and understand those who are different from us.  The obvious is to try to reach across cultural lines and get to know those who come from different ethic and spiritual traditions.  Less apparent is those within our worship communities that have different perspectives and values.

A Church without Walls: For too long we have thought of the church as a building.  The church is really the people of God.  That is why I choose to use the word “worship community.”  In my mind the people who gather for worship on Sunday are a worship community.   The church is those same individuals when they leave that experience and venture out into the world.  This has all kinds of implications from Bible studies that meet in a local restaurant instead of a church classroom, to a pastor who makes the local Starbucks his part-time office.

Less Emphasis on Number and More on Relationship: The number of people who occupy the pews on Sunday morning is not as important as the number of lives those individuals touch during the week.   Consider the life of the Savior.  His ministry never happened inside the walls of the synagogue.  He met people where they were at.  With few exceptions, there is little indication they ever became part of his community of followers.   Still, there is no doubt that because of their contact with The Savior their lives were never the same. 

That is my prayer for The Church is 2017 and beyond.

Christmas Peace in the New Year

I am a traditionalist when it comes to the celebration of our Lord’s Birth.  I take the carol of the Twelve Days of Christmas to heart.  The season of Christmas begins on December 25^th but continues until January 6^th.  Our decorations are still up and each day the magi move a step closer to the manger scene.   They will finally arrive on Epiphany.  Daily I revisit the Christmas story.  As we enter the New Year the initial words of the angel to the shepherds ring in my mind, “Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy for all people.”

As we enter a New Year I sense a lot of "fear" and uncertainty among people.  Almost on a daily basis we hear reports of terrorist attacks, or mass shootings.  On a political level, I cannot recall a time when our nation is more divided.  We will soon have a new president, even though over have the population voted for his opponent.  I sense that many of those who support our new leader did so because they fear the threat of change.  In their minds, new immigrants and the growth of other culture within our country are a reason for fear.

On a personal level I must acknowledge I live daily with fear.  As I age I worry about my health.  I am also aware that my wife is a cancer survivor and every six month we have to go through follow-up visits.  We fear the cancer returning.  Okay, I am even afraid to get behind the wheel of my car sometimes.  Driving in Dallas can be scary.  I worry about the welfare of our kids and grandkids.  Life is so delicate and at times it seems like we are hanging by a thread.

Then I remember the words of the angel.  “Do not be afraid.”  Jesus has conquered sin, death and the devil.  The stuff that happens here is just temporary.  My eternity is secure and Jesus will never abandon me.  There is so much more.  This is “good news of great joy for all people.”  If all people are come to know the joy, it must happen through me.  When I live joyfully and fearlessly, I open the door for them to see Jesus in me. 

That is my challenge to you as we begin the New Year.  Live fearlessly!  Live joyfully!  If the next generation is to get that message, it must happen through us.

A Christmas Prayer

Twenty years ago Concordia Publishing House published Real Men Pray: Prayer Thoughts for Husbands and Fathers, a book of devotional prayers that I had written. For this Christmas week I would like to share the prayer for Christmas.

This is Your day, Father.

Easter belongs to Jesus and

            His victory over death,

            but Christmas belongs to you.

I cannot imagine the struggle You must have

            gone through.

You allowed Your Son to become a

            human being and not only face

            the humiliation of a human life

            but even death itself.

And Jesus did it for the sake of all people,

            many of whom could not have cared less.

Sometimes this fact restrains my Christmas

            celebration.

All the world appears joyful as

            “Peace on earth” becomes the cliché

            of the day.

Everybody becomes religious as they

            celebrate the birth of a Child

            they might not know personally.

Father, others might struggle to understand

            my melancholy attitude.

As a father, I reflect on your cost.

I pray that You would make me a disciple

            worthy of the price You and Jesus paid.

As a sinner, I know I can never measure up.

And as a redeemed saint,

            I know I can never stop trying.

Father, thank you for Christmas and the new life

            You have given me.  

Amen.  

It Is Christmas Coming and so are the Millennials

I recall a conversation I had with a pastor teammate many years ago.  I was busy preparing for the various holiday activities; caroling with the youth group and the children’s Christmas service.  In addition to planning the worship services he was busy visiting the many shut-ins who were members of the church.  When I remarked how I was looking forward to the time away visiting family out of town on the day after Christmas he made a statement that surprised me.  He was staying in town because he anticipated some “issues” within the church family.  The puzzled look on my face prompted his response.  “When family members who don’t get along the rest of the year are forced to spend time together, all kinds of things can happen.” 

The reality is Christmas does carry with it certain expectations.  While we picture families gathered around the tree exchanging gifts and joining to sing carols at the piano, more often there is discord and strife.  Grudges and feelings that are buried the rest of the year can come bubbling up when we have to spend time with people for whom we have very conflicted feeling.  The good news of the Savior’s Birth can be drowned out by the realities of a sinful world. 

Unfortunately many families are facing similar circumstances when their millennial children return home for Christmas.   We look forward to spending time as a family but cannot put aside the fact that they might have made choices and decisions we do not agree with.  As a result we might have an agenda.  We see the opportunity to discuss the fact that they are not attending church or making moral decisions that run counter to our values. 

My prayer is that the peace of the Christ Child might come and dwell within your home this Christmas.  The sharing of that “Christmas Peace” must begin with you.  Jesus comes into the midst of our brokenness, including the fractured relationships that exist within families.  Our goal should be to let those we meet see the Christ Child in us.  Put aside the personal agendas and let the “peace of Christ” dwell in you richly.  Perhaps the time together in the serenity of Christmas will provide a platform for a time of reconciliation down the road. 

Grace Loncar Died

Grace Loncar took her own life.  I saw her obituary in the Dallas Morning News.  Teen suicides do not normally make the news but Grace’s family is well known in the community.  Her dad is prominent attorney Brian Loncar and her mother Sue the artistic director at the Contemporary Theater of Dallas.  Grace was sixteen and junior at the award winning Booker T. Washington School for the Performing Arts.  Grace has already made a name for herself on stage.  The obituary noted that she had battled depression since age eleven.  The disease finally won and now her family and friends grieve her loss.

I grieve too.  Depression and teen suicide are issues I am all too familiar with.  I dealt with depressed student when I was a high school counselor.  The threat of suicide was always present and I took it seriously. Suicide has always been high on the list as a cause of death among American teens.  It has always been tough being a teenager and the increasing pressure to succeed can be overwhelming.  Then there is the struggle for identity and the desire to conform to the counterfeit image the world establishes.  There was a time when these matters were confined to the home and school hallway but in the world of social media they can be out there for the whole world to see.

The topic of depression and teen suicide recently was a front page story on Time Magazine.  The article noted that percentage of teens who have had a major episode of depression in the last year has grown from 8% in 2006 to 12.5% in 2015: an alarming increase.  Girls are almost three times more likely than boys to suffer from depression.  Boy are, however, more likely to suffer from anxiety disorders.  An estimated 6.3 million teens are afflicted with some form of anxiety disorder.

The responsibility for responding to the epidemic of depression and suicide should not fall on parents and educators alone.  It is a community problem.  That should especially be the case within the family of believers.  It begins when we offer a smile and encouraging word to the teens and young adults who are around us.  It continues when we accept them for who they are, instead of asking them to conform to our standards.  It continues when we engage in conversation and learn to listen to them their concerns and opinions.  It also means watching for the warning signs of depression.  When we see something, say something. 

Next time you pass a teen or young adult who seems sad think of Grace Loncar.  I do not want to read another teen obituary.