Teen Suicide

I spent Wednesday night with a group of parents at University Baptist Church in Fort Worth. A member of their youth group had taken his life on Monday morning. Knowing my background as a school counselor and youth advocate, my friend had asked me to help the parents process what had taken place. A team of trained grief counselors from the Fort Worth ISD were meeting with the teens at the same time. Many of those present had a personal relationship with Nathan, the young man. One mom reported that she and her daughter had given Nathan a ride home from a youth event on Sunday night. It was hard to comprehend how the happy young man they had known could just twelve hours later kill himself.

Teen suicide is not a new issue. I was serving a church in Cape Girardeau, Missouri in the early seventies. We experienced three teen suicides in a short period of time. The community responded by establishing a crisis phone line. I had the privilege of serving on the initial board. During my tenure at Lutheran High Dallas, suicide was an ongoing concern. I was involved in numerous interventions and fortunately never had a student take their own life.

I don't think we will ever truly understand the "why" behind teen suicide. I do know that lack of a pre-frontal cortex in the teenage brain, can result in teens often acting in irrational ways. Think about the numbers times you have mentally asked, "What were they thinking?" We also know from experience that teens can ride an emotional rollercoaster, being silly one minute and in tears the next. If there is one comfort it comes from know we have a Savior who undestands, even when we don't.

As a parent, the thought of losing a child or grand child goes beyond my comprehension. The question is, how can I prevent my child from taking their own life?

It starts with creating an atmosphere of openness when it comes to sharing emotions. When we talk about our fears and feelings, we give our teens permission to talk about theirs. That especially comes to the feeling of love. We can never express it enough. Because of their nature we can't always expect our teens to recipricate. Getting teens to open up about what they are feeling prevents them from internalizing them.

Secondly, keep your radar on when it comes to detecting changes in routine or friendships. Some of those could be natural transitions but any change becomes a stress point. Don't hesitate to ask questions.

Finally, make sure your teen has a support system. They need to be surrounded by adults who not only care about them but share your value system. In times of crisis, such individual might be the ones your teens turn to.

We can never totally eliminate teen sucides but we can build in safe guards to lessen the risk with our kids.