"It's just not worth the hassle, anymore," a parent recently commented to me. They were talking about an attempt to set dating boundaries for their daughter, a high school sophmore.
Yes, setting down rules can be a hassle, but it's very much worth the effort. While there might be resistance, most teens really inwardly appreciate having boundaries. It helps them know what they can do without getting in trouble. It also gives them an out when pressured by peers. Yes, "My parents don't allow me to go there." does work. Teens also realize that boundaries help them develop self discipline. Boundaries are another way of letting them know you care.
Some recent studies prove that boundaries make a huge difference. An article published recently in the journal for the American Academy for Pediatrics, provided some examples:
Teens who had a set bed time of 10:00 PM not only got more sleep but were less likely to get depressed or consider suicide.
Teen drivers whose parents set and enforced rules were less likely to get speeding tickets, drink and drive or use their cell phones behind the wheel.
Parents who put restriction on the amount of time their teens spent on the internet or playing video games saw their students grades improve.
The challenge is for parents to communicate any boundaries in a caring, rather than a controlling, manner. Some tips:
> Any rules deserve an explanation.
> Consequences should be appropriate and clearly defined.
> Keep the lines of communication open. Be willing to discuss any rules.
> Let your teens know that you are monitoring their behavior.
> Make sure you live by the same rules. Yes, that mean no speeding tickets and not using your cell phone while driving as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment