Prepare to be Fired

The reality is at some point in time every parent is going to be fired. Allow me to explain. Like the rest of us, teenagers are constantly facing decisions. At some point they will encounter a dilemma that they don't want their parents to know about. Think back, you know there were issues you wanted to keep hidden from your folks. Let's be honest. If in your teen years you were invited to a party where you knew there was going to be alcohol present you wouldn't consult your parents on what to do. When faced with some issues, parents tend to over-react: "You are going to do what, with who?"

It's no different today. The issue might involve sex, substance abuse or might be ethical in nature. Almost every teen is going to face an issue they want to hide from mom and dad. That's why it's vital that we surround our kids with a support system. While we can't always control who their friends are, we do have some influence over who the significant adults are in their lives.

I recently returned from a three day retreat with a group of forty DCE, youth ministry folks. It's been over fifteen years since I've been in that kind of environment, but I found one thing the same. They still had a passion for children/teens and their families. Children and youth ministry professionals, along with the volunteers who are part of their ministries, are a valuable resource for you. Coaches, teachers and scout leaders can also fill that role. The important thing is that you place your teen in an environment where they are surrounded by adults who share the same faith and values that you do. If you are going to be fired as a parent, you want to make sure the people they are turning to for advice are guiding them in the same direction you would.

During my years as a youth minister, coach and school counselor there were countless times when I was called on by a teen for guidance on a tough issue. Yes, there were times when the matter was resolved without mom or dad even knowing it. There were other times when I would get a call after the fact. "I am not sure what was going on, but I am sure glad you were there for us."