Being an Easter Christian

We lived in Dundee, Illinois prior to moving to Dallas twentry-three years ago. Our neighbors across the street were Dan and Wanda. Dan and I connected immediately because we had many things in common. He was the son of a Lutheran pastor and a serious sports fan. He was very active in his church, teaching a Bible class and serving as the church trumpter for all festivals. Dan had a very gregarious personality, allowing him to instantly connect with strangers. Dundee still had a small town atmosphere and everyone knew Dan. Dan worked out of his house and it wasn't uncommon to see a police car parked out front. The officers knew Dan always had the coffee pot on and everyone was welcome to stop by. Wanda had MS and, while it was in remission, she and Dan decided not to have children. But Dan loved kids, especially teenagers. He was an avid Chicago Bears fan and Sundays in the fall he would host the neighborhood boys. They would snack and watch the game together.

Dan celebrated life. He was also open about his faith. His pastor told me that on his first Easter as the church he was shocked to find a colored Easter Egg in the pulpit when he got ready to preach his sermon. As he scanned the congregation Dan's giggling gave his secret away. It was a tradition that continued every year.

Dan was a successful business man. He worked for non-profits, helping them generate funds. His outgoing nature made him a natural at hosting golf outings, auctions and other events. Dan was friends with many pro athletes and local celebrities. He lived a fast lifestyle, but those of us who knew him accepted it as part of his job.

It all came crashing down one January afternoon. One of the organizations Dan worked for discovered he had been embessling funds. Dan caught wind of it so instead of attending the meeting where he would be confront, Dan killed himself. Prior to that he stopped by Wanda's office with a dozen roses and a love letter. Our dinner that evening was interrupted by a pounding at the door. Wanda was hysterical. She had found his body in the garage next to his favorite shotgun.

Yesterday was Easter and I once again thought of Dan. In many ways he was the antithesis of the Christmas and Easter Christians we professional church workers talk about. They surfaced again yesterday. A quick poll around the dinner table revealed all three church represented had seen attendance double what is normal. Dan, on the other hand, was the opposite. He was visible around his church every Sunday, but something had gone wrong. When faced with his sin, he chose to bail out. Jesus words from the cross, "Father forgive them..." (Luke 23:34) were forgotten. The Good News of the empty tomb did not apply.

We are Easter people. You most likely attended worship yesterday as a family, but today is when "the rubber meets the road." Jesus' victory rings hallow if we don't live everyday fearlessly for him. We are still sinners, but the barrier between our sins and Our God has been destroyed. No sin is greater than Jesus' love for us. That's a lesson we need to pass on to our children, and the best way to do that is to live it. Everyday.

Some Thoughts on Rob Bell and Hell

Pastor Rob Bell is in the news these days. This week's Time Magazine bears the cover, "What if There is No Hell?" That is an issue raised because of some things Rob Bell says in his new book, Love Wins. For those who are not familiar with Rob Bell, he is pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He is best known for his provocative Nooma video series.

Let me say upfront that I have not read Love Wins. It is on my "must read" list, but I have done enough digging to think I know where Rob Bell is coming from. I am not so sure that he is questioning the existence of hell, as he is theological rigidity, and a faith that excludes anyone. In the words of St. Paul in Colossians 1:20, "an through him (Jesus) to reconcile to himself all things, things on earth and things in heaven, by making peace through the cross." If there is a hell, and I do believe that there is, it is up to God to determine who is condemned to punishment. For those of us who believe in Jesus Christ as our hope, the focus needs to be on heaven and the eternal victory.

I do a lot of reading, and some of my reading is of a spiritual nature. When I want to be challenged in my faith I usually read Philip Yancey or Mark Buchanan. I don't agree with everything they write, but then that true of most non-fiction authors. Faith is a very personal thing. I am a Lutheran because it comes closest to what I personally believe. I hope that I have passed on my faith to my children. I truly believe that each of them in their own way has established their own personal faith.

That is what I would encourage all parents to do. Develop a personal relationship with God. In the process, come to know yourself as his child. Share your faith story with your kids. Then, place them in the right environment and give them the tools to develop their own personal faith.

This is what I do know. Jesus died for me and in the process defeated sin, death and the devil. His Resurrection Victory is my victory, and I can't wait to get to heaven to celebrate that victory with him.

Alcohol and Parental Responsibility

I became familiar with the routine during my years as a high school counselor. Our school had a zero tolerance policy when it came to drugs and alcohol, both on and off campus. First offense: there would be consequences, but we would work to help the student. Second time offenders were told they had to withdraw as students. Still students regularly flirted with the policy. This time of year it was especially rampant. Seniors, anticipating the end of their high school career, were especially susceptible. Kids and alcohol: It's always been a dance with death.

A recent report by the Parentship at Drugfree.org (www.drugfree.org)confirms that teens continue to show a casual,even carefree, attitude when it comes to alcohol. Researchers surveyed 2,544 random teens nation-wide. When questioned about the risk of drinking, 45% said they, "didn't see it to be a big deal." 68% of teens polled reported that they had consumed alcohol. The average age for the first experience was 14. Furthermore, 25% admitted that they had smoked marijuana within the last month, indicating that use of that illegal substance is common as well. Parents who think it's not a problem and that their kids are not vulnerable are naive. It's a sure bet, your kids are going to be exposed to marijuana and drinking among their peers before they graduate from high school.

Alcohol and marijuana are both gateway drugs. Gateway drugs are habit forming substances whose use could lead to abuse of drugs that are more addictive and dangerous. My experience is that kids who consume alcohol are susceptible to making poor decisions. Coupled with the fact that the adolescent brain is poorly equipped to make good decisions and you can see the potential risk. When it comes to marijuana, it exposes kids to a culture whose singular goal is to get them addicted. Remember, marijuana is still illegal and the people who want to sell them marijuana will be happy to sell them something that will provide "just a little bigger high,"

Parents play a significant role when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Mom and dad are both consultants and role models. They are consultants when they discuss the issue with their teens and help them establish ground rules. The importance of being a role model is just as vital. Kids are watching. That means monitoring your own alcohol consumption and making sure that if alcohol is involved there is a designated driver.

During my time at Lutheran High School of Dallas I often used Jerry Rhoades, a Dallas Police narcotics detective, as a resource. Jerry was especially good at challenging kids to "step up to the plate" when it came to their parent's drinking. He would pointedly tell them, "If you are out to dinner with your parents and they consume alcohol, ask for the car keys." If they are telling you to not get into a car with someone who has been drinking, that should include mom and dad.

Taking the i Out of My Phone

About a month ago I got my first i-Phone. Barb has had her for over a year. Mark and Katie have Apple smart phones as well. My old phone broke; Coming from a counseling background, it's really frustrating when I have a phone where people can hear me but I can't hear them. It would have cost almost $100 to replace my old phone. When I asked for other options I was shown an i-Phone which was half of the cost. I am learning to use it, although for the first few weeks I wondered how a smart phone could make a person feel so dumb.

It is really a useful tool. I was at a conference last week and took my notes on my phone and then e-mailed them to myself so I could print them when I got home. I appreciate being able to access e-mails on the road, and map/GPS feature is helpful.

While I am becoming more comfortable with the phone, I am still struggling with the name. I recognize Apple intent in marketing product with the name "i". But really, does our self absorbed culture does not need another product that focuses on the individual. Personally,I don't want my phone to be about me. I want it to be a vehicle that allows me access to others and their worlds. If there is a convenience, it should come from my ability to be more organized and accessible.

Today's technology is amazing. I can't comprehend where we might be ten years from now, considering how different our world is today from even five years ago. When I reflect on how different our world is today from when our kids were teens I marvel at the great communication system God has given us. Texting gives you instant access into your teen's world. Even if they don't respond, they will still see your message to "Be careful" and "Stay safe." They will take your parental conscience with them wherever they go. Imagine that: Your kids will always have a link to you in their pocket or purse.

How Do We Respond to Authority?

I grew up on the eastside of Detroit. I recall a time when a neighbor's house caught fire. As kids we had the opportunity to watch all the action as the firemen battled the flames. We then spent months as "sidewalk superintendents" watching the remodeling. We were just grateful that it wasn't our house. I get the same feeling living in Dallas and not being a Dallas Cowboy fan. It's great entertainment and I am just glad it's not my team.

It's happened again. Two the local heroes were in trouble over the weekend. In the case of wide receiver Dez Bryant, his actions not only made the news but raised some eyebrows. Mr. Bryant was with some associates at North Park Mall when the security folks, who are off-duty Dallas Police, asked them to pull up their shorts because their underwear was showing. Instead of complying, Mr. Bryant cursed at the officers and pointed out that they were not stealing anything or doing something illegal. It seems that this is not the first time North Park security has had to deal with Mr. Bryant. There have been two other incidents where he has gotten into arguments with a shopkeeper and with a female friend.

I guess what is troubling to me is the way this individual responded to authority. The request was simple. "Pull up you pants." I am not sure that a "No Sagging" sign is posted at North Park, but I know I have seen them in other public places where young people gather. When an authority figure, especially a police officer, asks you to do something, your only response should always be "Yes Sir," or "Yes Mam."

I don't know much about Dez Bryant's background. Perhaps he hasn't had the role models in his life who taught him how to respond to those in authority. If that is the case, I hope someone steps in soon to be that figure. What is troubling to me is the number of times I have witnessed similar responses from young people who should know better. Often the source of their antagonistic behvior becomes clear when I meet their parents. The "adults" in this case are quick to defend their "child" while calling into question any adult who would accuse their son/daughter, no matter what position of authority they might have.

Your kids are watching to see how you respond to the authorities in your life. When you show respect, and a willingness to cooperate, you are teaching them a valuable lesson. And before you jump to any conclusions, make sure you have all the information.

CHEATING: WHERE IS IT ROOTED?

Two news articles that I read last week reminded me that cheating continues to be a growing problem in our schools.

During my years at Lutheran High School of Dallas, I taught advance placement psychology in addition to my responsibilities as a school counselor. My students were required to do a research paper. As part of grading process I would check to make sure the papers were actually the work of the students and not plagiarized. On the average, one paper in five had at least in part been copied from the internet. Often whole papers had been downloaded. I required those who had cheated to re-write the paper. They were docked 10% - 25% on their grade, depending on the degree of the offense.

According to the Josephson Institute on Values, 62% of students admit to having cheated on a test. Over 50% acknowledge copying all or part of a major paper.
80% confessed to copying another student's homework. A recent article in USA Today reported that one-half of all teens admit to storing information on their cell phone that is then used during a test.

Cheating is not limited to students. Teachers at George Washington Carver Academy, a charter school in Highland Park Michigan, are under the watchful eye of state officials. In the past the teachers were caught altering the scores on state proficiency tests. Across the country, thousands of teachers admit to having doctored tests scores. It's no wonder. The pressure is on teachers to perform. Salary incentives and even their jobs might be on the line if performance does not improve.

Before we start judging students and teachers, let me ask you a question. Do you always drive at the speed limit? My experience tells me probably not. I do obey the posted limit. When I drive Interstate 635, the loop that circles Dallas, I often feel like I am a highway cone. It seems like no one is driving the speed limit. I know the excuses because I have heard them. "I need to speed just to keep up with traffic," or "The police won't bother you unless you are going at least
10 MPH over the limit."

The reality is: Cheating is cheating. Sixty MPH means the speed limit is sixty. You exceed that and you are breaking the law. And that is where cheating is rooted.

America, We Have a Problem

America's public education system has been in the news lately for all the wrong reasons. The Wisconsin Teacher's Union has made headlines over their stand-off with the states governor. Here in Texas, our public schools are facing a crisis due to the state budget shortfall. All school district are slashing millions from their budgets as less money will be available from the state. This comes at a time when test scores indicate that less that fifty percent of our countries 8th graders can read proficiently.

In his book, Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell dedicates a whole chapter to the crisis in American schools. He focuses on the difference between Asian schools and our U.S. educational system. It's hard to deny that students from far eastern countries have passed U.S. students in terms of achievement. Gladwell points out one basis difference. Asian students do not get an extended break, summer vacation, like most American students do. Gladwell uses statistics to point out how cognitive skills are lost over the long summer break.

A second factor is that in the Asian culture the brightest college students are encouraged to go into careers in education. Teachers are not only fairly compensated but viewed with much esteem. Contrast that to America where our brightest and best often go into high tech or business careers.

Turning around our country's educational system is not going to happen overnight. I am afraid we need to get past our current financial crisis before we can even begin to address long-range changes.

I do have one suggestion for parents. Get involved. In Texas thousands of people pack football stadium on Friday nights, but few people attend school board meetings. Most school PTA programs have died from lack of interest. The average school board election attracts less than 25% of the eligible voters. The key to addressing any crisis is to attack it head-on. It begins with you and the ownership you take in your child's education.