One of the more interesting people that I have encountered in my years of ministry was Otto the silversmith. Otto had his studio in Cape Girardeau, Missouri where Barb and I began our ministry. We normally think of silversmiths as designers of jewelry, but Otto often worked on a much larger scale. Some of Otto's projects were huge sculptures. When you walked through Otto's studio sometimes it was difficult to discern what went where. Thing often looked disjointed. "Don't judge my work until it is finished," he commented one time when I made a critical comment about one of his projects.
I thought of Otto over the weekend as I contemplated the horrific events that transpired in Colorado. Once again I heard people ask "Why?" or "How could God allow this to happen?" First-off: We live in a sinful and evil world. "In this world you will have trouble," Jesus told his disciples , but in his next breath he comforts them by say, "Take heart. I have over come the world." (John 16:33). When we view the isolated events like the tragedies of Columbine or Aurora it's easy to get discouraged and fearful. Things seem mixed-up and confusing, just like Otto's art. We are only see the disjointed parts. Only God can see the "big picture."
I don't want to trivialize the pain of the families who lost loved one in that tragic shooting. The pains of this world are very real to them, but so should be the love of our God. God is the comforter and the Conqueror. Satan may have his way and at times if might seem as if evil is winning, but those of us who know Jesus also know the final results are going to be an awesome work of art.
For us as parents and grandparents, that mean being people of hope, even in the midst of tragedy. Mourn with those who mourn, but stay confident and faithful. Moving forward as people of faith is the strongest testimony that we can give as Christian.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Branding Your Teen
Establishing a brand in the eye of the consumer is the goal of every marketing professional. Branding is the name, design or logo that identifies a company, business or service. If branding is effective just hearing a name or seeing a logo provides immediate recognition. McDonald's golden arches are a brand that is easily recognized world-wide. Sometimes just a simple color is used in branding. There is a certain shade of brown that causes people to immediately think UPS.
According to marketing expert, Nick Fuller, today's teenagers are very much into personal branding. They want to project a very specific image to their peers and to the world in general. According to Fuller, "They have hand-selected every photo, wall post, tweet and 'like.' Each is tied to their digital persona." In other words, teens are very savvy when it comes to projecting an image on social media.
Marketing professionals are very aware of the teen market. They are constantly monitoring their behavior hoping to gain insights by observing teen trends. They view teens as being consumers with almost unlimited financial resources. Hint! Hint! There is a red flag.
Parents need to be aware of this on two levels. First and foremost they need to be aware of the image their teens are trying to project. That might mean being friends with their teens and their peers on Facebook and on Twitter. If the images do not match the image or values they desire for their children they need to bring that to their teen's attention. It should be an opportunity to discuss it. It is also important to set guidelines in terms of spending. Teenagers need to learn to operate with a budget just like parents and families do.
You can read more from Nick Fuller at http://www.mediapost.com/.
According to marketing expert, Nick Fuller, today's teenagers are very much into personal branding. They want to project a very specific image to their peers and to the world in general. According to Fuller, "They have hand-selected every photo, wall post, tweet and 'like.' Each is tied to their digital persona." In other words, teens are very savvy when it comes to projecting an image on social media.
Marketing professionals are very aware of the teen market. They are constantly monitoring their behavior hoping to gain insights by observing teen trends. They view teens as being consumers with almost unlimited financial resources. Hint! Hint! There is a red flag.
Parents need to be aware of this on two levels. First and foremost they need to be aware of the image their teens are trying to project. That might mean being friends with their teens and their peers on Facebook and on Twitter. If the images do not match the image or values they desire for their children they need to bring that to their teen's attention. It should be an opportunity to discuss it. It is also important to set guidelines in terms of spending. Teenagers need to learn to operate with a budget just like parents and families do.
You can read more from Nick Fuller at http://www.mediapost.com/.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Fifty Shades of Porn
I picked up a copy of this morning's USA Today. As I read the Life Section I was surprised to find three books by the same author at the top of the nation's best selling books. The author is E. L. James and the books are part of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. I had never heard the term "mommy porn" until last week and it was used in referencing this series.
I decided to do some research and came across an article by Karen Yates on www.churchleaders.com. The article was titled Why Pastors Should Respond to 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' She notes, "An invasion of this book and its aftermath will soon impact marriages, friendships, communities and business." In her mind the church cannot and should not avoid this movement thinking it will blow over.
I will confess that I am not an expert when it comes to "mommy porn," or erotic literature in general for that matter, but my interest was perked. So this afternoon while I was waiting for a prescription at my local Sam's Club, I ventured to the book section to see if the store even carried the books. They do. In fact they had two different titles: the original and the most recent Fifty Shades of Dark. I must admit I felt a little uncomfortable even picking up the book. As I scanned the back cover the words "Erotic Fiction" jumped out at me. As I was reading the description I heard a female voice say, "excuse me." As I turned a middle-age mom, accompanied by her teenager daughter reached for a copy. Let's just say the look she gave me caused me to quickly move on. It was obvious I was intruding on "feminine turf."
I guess the word that bothers me most about this fiction is erotic. Allow me to explain. The erotic comes from the Greek word eros. In Greek the word eros identifies sexual, passionate love. It's one of four words that Greeks use for the word love. Another one of those words in agape, a sacrificial love as in the kind of love Jesus had for the sinful world. Eros labels a passionate, sexual act, while agape describes giving up one's self for another. Agape is a love all Christians should strive for. Eros, on the other hand, should be confined to the marriage relationship, not displayed on supermarket shelves.
In the end I have to question what kind of example Christian mom's who read such trash are setting for their daughters. By the way to the lady I encountered in Sam's: I am not a pervert and I am concerned about you and your daughter.
I decided to do some research and came across an article by Karen Yates on www.churchleaders.com. The article was titled Why Pastors Should Respond to 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' She notes, "An invasion of this book and its aftermath will soon impact marriages, friendships, communities and business." In her mind the church cannot and should not avoid this movement thinking it will blow over.
I will confess that I am not an expert when it comes to "mommy porn," or erotic literature in general for that matter, but my interest was perked. So this afternoon while I was waiting for a prescription at my local Sam's Club, I ventured to the book section to see if the store even carried the books. They do. In fact they had two different titles: the original and the most recent Fifty Shades of Dark. I must admit I felt a little uncomfortable even picking up the book. As I scanned the back cover the words "Erotic Fiction" jumped out at me. As I was reading the description I heard a female voice say, "excuse me." As I turned a middle-age mom, accompanied by her teenager daughter reached for a copy. Let's just say the look she gave me caused me to quickly move on. It was obvious I was intruding on "feminine turf."
I guess the word that bothers me most about this fiction is erotic. Allow me to explain. The erotic comes from the Greek word eros. In Greek the word eros identifies sexual, passionate love. It's one of four words that Greeks use for the word love. Another one of those words in agape, a sacrificial love as in the kind of love Jesus had for the sinful world. Eros labels a passionate, sexual act, while agape describes giving up one's self for another. Agape is a love all Christians should strive for. Eros, on the other hand, should be confined to the marriage relationship, not displayed on supermarket shelves.
In the end I have to question what kind of example Christian mom's who read such trash are setting for their daughters. By the way to the lady I encountered in Sam's: I am not a pervert and I am concerned about you and your daughter.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Is it Our Most Important Election?
I've heard a number of people say that this might be the most important presidential election in our country's history. Most of them are fellow Christian who are disturbed at the direction our country is taking. I share their concerns when I comes to the President Obamas' health plan. What I find more disconcerting is our national stance on Gay Rights and same-sex marriage. I am not sure I want to lay the blame at the feet of one particular individual and even point at one political party as being at fault.
This is not something that began with the Obama administration. We have been on the skids morally and economically for a long a long time. When it comes to the moral issues, I compare our nation to the frog in the kettle analogy. If you increase the temperature slowly the poor frog never notices until they boil to death. In the case of our moral dilemma the heat has been increasing for some time. The changes have been gradually happening for many years. How long has it been since abortions were made legal?
If there is blame to be placed here, I think it needs to fall on Christian parents, fathers in particular. I've recently been doing a lot of reading in the Old Testament book of Joshua. The same pattern is followed in the Book of Judges as well. When the people forget who God is and how he has blessed them in the past, things go down the toilet in a hurry. There is but One God and he made the rules. Our only task is to live by them and teach our children to do the same. It's not the church's responsibility to do that. It falls on moms and dads. See Exodus 13:14 for example. Thankfully we live in the New Testament era, so we live under grace. Our salvation is secure and we don't need to rely on our obedience. As God's people we still need to seek to do his will, with the full knowledge that life will be full of trouble if we don't
The solution lies in making sure the heritage of faith is passed on to the next generation. It also happens when we reflect our faith and values in our personal lives. It's also glorified when we elect to office those who will make God-pleasing decisions.
This is not something that began with the Obama administration. We have been on the skids morally and economically for a long a long time. When it comes to the moral issues, I compare our nation to the frog in the kettle analogy. If you increase the temperature slowly the poor frog never notices until they boil to death. In the case of our moral dilemma the heat has been increasing for some time. The changes have been gradually happening for many years. How long has it been since abortions were made legal?
If there is blame to be placed here, I think it needs to fall on Christian parents, fathers in particular. I've recently been doing a lot of reading in the Old Testament book of Joshua. The same pattern is followed in the Book of Judges as well. When the people forget who God is and how he has blessed them in the past, things go down the toilet in a hurry. There is but One God and he made the rules. Our only task is to live by them and teach our children to do the same. It's not the church's responsibility to do that. It falls on moms and dads. See Exodus 13:14 for example. Thankfully we live in the New Testament era, so we live under grace. Our salvation is secure and we don't need to rely on our obedience. As God's people we still need to seek to do his will, with the full knowledge that life will be full of trouble if we don't
The solution lies in making sure the heritage of faith is passed on to the next generation. It also happens when we reflect our faith and values in our personal lives. It's also glorified when we elect to office those who will make God-pleasing decisions.
Friday, June 29, 2012
The Tale of Two Dads
I spend Wednesday mornings at DFW Airport. I am a DFW Airport Ambassador. If you've been through DFW and seen the folks in green vests and jackets: I am one of those. During a typical four hour shift I usually assist about a hundred people, providing information and helping folks navigate around the enormous airport. It's also a great place to people watch and this past Wednesday I saw observed two dads who were about as polar opposite as possible.
Dad #1 was traveling with his two sons, I would have judged them to be around eight and ten years old. Dad was a good looking, projecting the image of a successful professional. His sons were well behaved. One of them was watching a video on a personal DVD player and the other sat quietly reading a book. Dad, was busy texting on a cell phone, when a second cell phone went off. Must be an important guy I thought: Two cell phones. He now became engaged in a heated conversation with whoever had called. I assumed it was business related. He was not happy that someone had evidently, in his terms, "Screwed up." Dad seem oblivious to his sons. As he continued his tirade, their focus shifted from what they were doing to watching dad. I felt bad for them. Not only was dad preoccupied, but they had to see him at his worst. At that moment, it was like his sons didn't exists. I have to wonder how dad will feel in a few years when the roles are reversed: Kids busy texting and ignoring dad.
When I first noticed Dad #2 I didn't even know he was a father. In the days of TSA security, it's unusual to see folks waiting inside security for an arriving flight, but this fellow was, and he was obviously anxious. When the flight arrived he moved closer and waited nervously as passengers exited. Finally he broke out into a huge grin. Soon the grin turned to a laugh. Obviously one of the departing passengers had brought him great joy. He hurried to the door where he greeted thee little boys who were acccompanied by a flight attendant. Hugs were exchanged and, after a prompt from the flight attendant, he showed her his photo ID. He signed a release and gathered the three boys together. I assumed he was their birth dad and the boys were coming for a summer visit.
I would like to think that Dad #1 is a good father and that he is going to get to spend some quality time with his sons on this trip. I only hope I was seeing him at his worst. I am also sure that there are going to be some moment when Dad #2 is going to get frustrated with his three boys. I only wish that I could have gotten the two men together to talk about their experiences and perspectives. There is so much to being a good dad.
Dad #1 was traveling with his two sons, I would have judged them to be around eight and ten years old. Dad was a good looking, projecting the image of a successful professional. His sons were well behaved. One of them was watching a video on a personal DVD player and the other sat quietly reading a book. Dad, was busy texting on a cell phone, when a second cell phone went off. Must be an important guy I thought: Two cell phones. He now became engaged in a heated conversation with whoever had called. I assumed it was business related. He was not happy that someone had evidently, in his terms, "Screwed up." Dad seem oblivious to his sons. As he continued his tirade, their focus shifted from what they were doing to watching dad. I felt bad for them. Not only was dad preoccupied, but they had to see him at his worst. At that moment, it was like his sons didn't exists. I have to wonder how dad will feel in a few years when the roles are reversed: Kids busy texting and ignoring dad.
When I first noticed Dad #2 I didn't even know he was a father. In the days of TSA security, it's unusual to see folks waiting inside security for an arriving flight, but this fellow was, and he was obviously anxious. When the flight arrived he moved closer and waited nervously as passengers exited. Finally he broke out into a huge grin. Soon the grin turned to a laugh. Obviously one of the departing passengers had brought him great joy. He hurried to the door where he greeted thee little boys who were acccompanied by a flight attendant. Hugs were exchanged and, after a prompt from the flight attendant, he showed her his photo ID. He signed a release and gathered the three boys together. I assumed he was their birth dad and the boys were coming for a summer visit.
I would like to think that Dad #1 is a good father and that he is going to get to spend some quality time with his sons on this trip. I only hope I was seeing him at his worst. I am also sure that there are going to be some moment when Dad #2 is going to get frustrated with his three boys. I only wish that I could have gotten the two men together to talk about their experiences and perspectives. There is so much to being a good dad.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Survey Says: It's Tough Being a Dad
A new survey from the Pew Research Center caught my attention. Most Say Being a Father Today is more Difficult, the heading announced. The report was based on a 2011 survey of over 250 dad and a slightly higher number of mothers. A majority of dads, 63%, stated it was more difficult today. 48% of moms were in agreement. Only 8% of dads polled felt it was easier today. The balance felt the degree of difficulty was about the same when it came to their role as a father.
While the survey sample was relatively small, I still found the results troubling. From a historical perspective, I can identify numerous times when being a dad was more difficult. When just considering the 20th Century I can pinpoint several periods when fathering was probably more of a challenge. The period of the Great Depression immediately comes to mind. For many dads the financial challenges were so overwhelming that they actually abandoned their children. During World War II many dad left home to defend their country, other older dads had to face the prospect of having their sons and daughters placed in harms way. Having lived through the Viet Nam War era and also the racial tensions of the sixties, I know that was a tough time to be a dad as well.
I think one of the reasons dads today view things as being more difficult is because they have lost perspective. That is not just limited to a historical view. I truly believe we need to keep things in perspective spiritually. My faith in God assures me that he will never put me in a situation that I cannot handle. Through God's power I truly believe that like Paul, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) I know I am not alone in that perspective because I hear the same conviction expressed by other Christian fathers.
Perhaps the problem is too many men today have their priorities wrong. When our priorities get turned around, over time things become more difficult. When we focus on ourselves and the things of this world we are destined to a life where we are never satisfied. Everything, including the responsibilities we have to our families, becomes more difficult. Our relationship with God must be our number one priority.
While the survey sample was relatively small, I still found the results troubling. From a historical perspective, I can identify numerous times when being a dad was more difficult. When just considering the 20th Century I can pinpoint several periods when fathering was probably more of a challenge. The period of the Great Depression immediately comes to mind. For many dads the financial challenges were so overwhelming that they actually abandoned their children. During World War II many dad left home to defend their country, other older dads had to face the prospect of having their sons and daughters placed in harms way. Having lived through the Viet Nam War era and also the racial tensions of the sixties, I know that was a tough time to be a dad as well.
I think one of the reasons dads today view things as being more difficult is because they have lost perspective. That is not just limited to a historical view. I truly believe we need to keep things in perspective spiritually. My faith in God assures me that he will never put me in a situation that I cannot handle. Through God's power I truly believe that like Paul, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) I know I am not alone in that perspective because I hear the same conviction expressed by other Christian fathers.
Perhaps the problem is too many men today have their priorities wrong. When our priorities get turned around, over time things become more difficult. When we focus on ourselves and the things of this world we are destined to a life where we are never satisfied. Everything, including the responsibilities we have to our families, becomes more difficult. Our relationship with God must be our number one priority.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The Man and His Poopy Dog: WWDD
It's Father's Day this coming Sunday. I know I've written about my dad before, but a recent incident caused me to once again reflect on his impact on my life.
My dad tried to be friendly with everyone he met. He liked to sit on the front porch and chat with the folks who passed by. My folks lived in the City of Detroit until 2004 when his health declined. The neighborhood went through lots of changes and eventually declined, but my parents were able to survive in the same house for over forty years. I think a lot of the credit should go to my dad.
Today, we live on a corner lot. Instead of a front porch we have a back patio. We chose to install a white picket fence, as opposed to a wooden privacy barrier. I too like to be able to greet my neighbors as they pass by. One familar face is an older man who rides a three-wheeled bike. It's the kind that allows him to peddle from a seated position. I assume he's a Viet Nam veteran because he wears a cap representing that conflict. An American Flag is displayed on a pole at the rear of the bike. I can always hear him coming because he has speakers installed on the back of his bike. He listens to conservative talk radio and has the volume cranked way up. The first time I heard it I immediately thought I was in the midst of some propaganda campaign.
The man also has a little dog. It's really is a mangy mutt, and not the least bit friendly. It barks and growls at everything. Our city has an ordinance that makes it illegal for people to allow their dog to defecate on public or private property. Dog owners are supposed to carry plastic bags and clean-up after their dogs do their duty. I don't think this man has totally embraced the law. When I notice his mutt leaving a deposit on my lawn one day, I reminded him of the law. His response, "S_ _ _ happens. Deal with it."
I the past I would wave to the man and attempt to engage in conversation, but since that day I've ignored him. Recently, I've had second thoughts. I've had to consider WWDD: What would dad do? Am I going to let a pile of poop keep me from at least trying to extend a hand of friendship? Granted, in this case it's probably going to be rejected, but at least I have tried.
I have no doubt that there is a connection between WWDD and WWJD: What would Jesus do? I know the source of my dad's core values. Now I am now compelled to live the same way. I challenge you to do the same. As parents and grandparents, we need to model love and acceptance, not anger and judgement.
My dad tried to be friendly with everyone he met. He liked to sit on the front porch and chat with the folks who passed by. My folks lived in the City of Detroit until 2004 when his health declined. The neighborhood went through lots of changes and eventually declined, but my parents were able to survive in the same house for over forty years. I think a lot of the credit should go to my dad.
Today, we live on a corner lot. Instead of a front porch we have a back patio. We chose to install a white picket fence, as opposed to a wooden privacy barrier. I too like to be able to greet my neighbors as they pass by. One familar face is an older man who rides a three-wheeled bike. It's the kind that allows him to peddle from a seated position. I assume he's a Viet Nam veteran because he wears a cap representing that conflict. An American Flag is displayed on a pole at the rear of the bike. I can always hear him coming because he has speakers installed on the back of his bike. He listens to conservative talk radio and has the volume cranked way up. The first time I heard it I immediately thought I was in the midst of some propaganda campaign.
The man also has a little dog. It's really is a mangy mutt, and not the least bit friendly. It barks and growls at everything. Our city has an ordinance that makes it illegal for people to allow their dog to defecate on public or private property. Dog owners are supposed to carry plastic bags and clean-up after their dogs do their duty. I don't think this man has totally embraced the law. When I notice his mutt leaving a deposit on my lawn one day, I reminded him of the law. His response, "S_ _ _ happens. Deal with it."
I the past I would wave to the man and attempt to engage in conversation, but since that day I've ignored him. Recently, I've had second thoughts. I've had to consider WWDD: What would dad do? Am I going to let a pile of poop keep me from at least trying to extend a hand of friendship? Granted, in this case it's probably going to be rejected, but at least I have tried.
I have no doubt that there is a connection between WWDD and WWJD: What would Jesus do? I know the source of my dad's core values. Now I am now compelled to live the same way. I challenge you to do the same. As parents and grandparents, we need to model love and acceptance, not anger and judgement.
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